A night out

[njcddresser]

Do to my work schedule and such, I don't have the opportunity to go out very often. Well last night, I had a free night and with not working today, I decided it was the perfect opportunity for some much needed Jackie time. A local gay bar has a drag show on Monday nights. I figured that this would be the perfect place for me to go to enfemme.

In the days leading up to it, I went back and forth with the age old question of what to wear. Do I go casual with a pair of jeans and a cute top. Do I glam it up and wear the LBD? I ended up decided upon a very short denim mini, a cute white top which is very low cut and added a sexy pair of boots.

My wife was fine with me going but wasn't able to join me. She did do my nails for me and they look great. I know I have to take the polish off today but really wish I could leave it on.

So I started getting ready around 6:00pm. Started with a nice long shower where I shaved.

The last few times I put make up on, I did a great job with contouring and decided this was the look I'd wear. Well the make up was an 'epic fail'. I ended up with an orange face and looked like an Oompa Loompa. So with just 45 minutes before I was to leave, all the make up came off and I reapplied with a simple but more natural look.

I recently bought a nubra which is amazing. It really does a great job of giving you some very nice cleavage. Combined with the low cut top, the girls were definitely on display.

The show itself was just ok. The crowd seemed very cliquey and for the most part I was left to myself. I'd have loved to be able to interact more with others, but just getting out was enough for me.

I'm not sure when I'll be able to get out again, but do look forward to the next time!

[Angela Marie]

When I first began going out I did frequent bars that had TG nights and/or drag shows. My experience was similar to yours. It was a very cliquey atmosphere and despite trying to make conversation it appeared, to me at least, that most of the others were not interested. I never understood why they did not want to make someone feel more welcome. I was never a big bar person anyway and now that I go out regularly I just go shopping, dining, etc.

[sara.rafaela]

I go out 3 or 4 times a month. I go to a combination of gay bars, a TG bar, and off-beat straight bars. I tend to get the cliquey experience too, at the gay bars during show nights. A lot of the girls are full time, I am not. And, a lot of them are working. I have been to places where everyone is gay and not looking to even talk to someone like me. I have been to places where I have been approached by "chasers".

But I think my experiences are overwhelmingly positive. When I go out dressed I feel like I am part of the show. Many people will chat me me up, especially women. Going out in drab these days seems tame and boring.

I would say keep at it. You will find great experiences that you treasure. The last time I went out I was seated enjoying a drink. A woman came and joined me, said she lost her husband and wanted to sit and dring. We had a nice talk. Then a young couple came and joined us. The young man it turned out was studying the same thing that I had studied years ago. We ended up talking about careers in technology for a while. Then they invited me to go bar hopping with them.

[Katey888]

Glad to hear you're enjoying yourself and getting out when the opportunity arises, Jackie... :)

I think all venues and crowds will be a bit cliquey - perhaps try making contact with someone who already goes or wants to go through a support group or if the club supports any sort of contact website...? I find it's more relaxing and therefore more fun if you have someone to share the experience with (and incidentally lend a little moral support if needed...)

Thanks for sharing your progress! :)

Katey x

[ReineD]

The show itself was just ok. The crowd seemed very cliquey and for the most part I was left to myself.


It was a very cliquey atmosphere and despite trying to make conversation it appeared, to me at least, that most of the others were not interested.


I tend to get the cliquey experience too, at the gay bars during show nights.

This has been our experience as well, but it makes sense when you think of it. In any bar, couples or groups of friends go out together and they aren't there to hang out with anyone else. They're just having fun with their friends. I suppose if you go to a bar that is a regular hang-out for some people, eventually you will be recognized also as a regular and you can then start engaging in small talk.

[Beverley Sims]

Don't push yourself to interact with others, it does come naturally when you become more relaxed.