"You Look Better Than Me"

[Krisi]

Yesterday my wife had some errands to run so she left and I dressed. Nothing fancy, but a nice multicolored knee length skirt (mostly purple) and a plain purple blouse. Some informal jewelry (bracelets, necklace and matching earrings) and flats. Of course I had my wig, boobs and butt on as well.

She came home, we had lunch and were watching TV.

She had an appointment with a physical therapist and wanted to go to the store and buy a blouse she had seen a week or two ago. So she asked if I would go with her. I said "Wait until this show is over and I'll go change". She said "OK". Then I said "Maybe I should just go like this." (It's important to know that she's never been out with me dressed before.)

She said "No, you better change, you look better than me. People might think I turned lesbo."

This is the place where a crossdresser needs to be real careful of what he says in response. I said nothing.

I'm sure what she meant was that I was dressed better than her, not that I "looked" better than her or more like a woman than her.

Anyway, I changed, we went. She changed her mind about the particular blouse so I helped her pick a different one. We had a good time. I would rather have been Krisi but that will be a different time and a different place.

[bridget thronton]

Wise words - i might be dressed in fancier clothes than my spouse on occasion but I will never look more attractive

[Sky]

It can mean many different things, but you were right in keeping your mouth shut.

[Stephanie47]

I think you acted wisely. I would not really know how to approach my wife if she made the same comment. One of the things that goes through my mind, and, it may be totally erroneous, is how other women would view her. It runs through my mind that if I were to be "clocked" as a man dressed as a woman when out with my wife, the man's wife may be viewed as wanting a sexual relationship with a woman who has real equipment. I have not been party of any conversations over my 60+ years on earth where women may have talked about sexual relationships with other women. Or their perception of what goes on. I think that is why the vast majority of women do not want her feminine side husband in the bedroom. I think most women cannot grasp the sexual identity issue of cross dressing. I cannot either.

[suzanne]

"I said nothing" is the mark of the truly wise, experienced husband, no matter what gender. Way to go. And the last thing you ever want to do is fuel the insecurity in her that you look better than her. You've successfully navigated most of the marriage minefield!

[Karen RHT]

Based on my 40+ year marriage, I believe you interpreted the message correctly, and made a most excellent decision Kristi. Well done indeed.


Karen

[Robin414]

She said "No, you better change, you look better than me. People might think I turned lesbo."


LMAO, that's so cute! 😂

[Dana44]

Yeah silence is the better part of valor.

[SharonDenise]

"You chose wisely!" to quote from an Indiana Jones movie.

[Sandie70]

A wise choice, grasshopper.

[Eryn]

She was giving you a compliment, but don't let it go to your head!

Mimi and I both look good when we dress for an evening out, each in our own way.

As far as the "lesbo" comment, she should understand that while there is a chance that someone may perceive her as such her actual status is unchanged. A CDing or even transitioning husband does not make his spouse a lesbian.

[docrobbysherry]

When I was married I often felt like a was walking on eggs. Because I was!

If u wish to remain married u must learn how to pick your battles carefully! Good work, Kris.

[reb.femme]

That old quote of "discretion being the better part of valour" is very appropriate in this situation. Also, who really knows what she meant? Dangerous ground Krisi and well avoided. :)

Plus, it would take a hugely disfigured and heavy-handed female to look less feminine than me.

Becky

[CarlaWestin]

Krisi, it's nice to hear that y'all have such a natural, matter of fact, relationship.
And yes, my most intuitive replies to my wife are, "___________"

[Beverley Sims]

Yes, some of us have the misfortune to look more attractive than our spouses. :-)

[Maria 60]

Well after the children my wife has gained a few, but after what a women's body goes threw you can't really blame them. When ever she buys a new dress or something she will ask me to model it. I'm taller and have a different body type, so when I try it on it falls differently. There were times were she would give me the dress saying it looks better on me, but I try to tell her, it like comparing apples and oranges we are different, and always reinsure her it looks great on her. Sometimes silence is the best option, you did good.

[Amy Lynn3]

Maria, you just proved people that say men can never figure out women all wrong. Silence is golden, for sure. You are much better at it than me. On an elevator yesterday and lady got on with me, that had rather large breast. She said press 1......I did and I am typing this from my hospital bed now.:)

[IamWren]

She said "No, you better change, you look better than me. People might think I turned lesbo."

I think Robin and I must have the same sense of humor because I began laughing so hard when I read this I almost started crying.

I think I was so amused because of the way I imagined her saying it... in a very dry, matter of fact sort of way, not because of disdain towards lesbians. Just because.

Well, played Krisi. Well played indeed!
I think she was saying it though because you were dressed better than her. I guess what I mean is, I've said that to my wife and she to me when we go somewhere (and she doesn't know about me dressing) to say that we want to both look equal or appropriate for the venue we're going to. Does that make sense? I don't think I'm explaining it right.

Anyway... great story of showing immense wisdom.

~Sayyidah

[Jackie7]

Well you didn't make it worse by saying nothing, but maybe you could have pumped her up a bit if you had said something like "oh honey that's just not possible, u always look better than me, I'm faking it but you are the real deal."

then go change, go shopping, and buy her something that looks really good on her.

[LelaK]

An Aries would likely say, "I do look great, don't I!" (My girlfriend has some Aries in her.)

[Judith96a]

Yes, discretion is often the better part of valour. However, I can't help but feel that you missed an opportunity. With the wonderfully useless thing called hindsight I think that I would have replied "really?" In an attempt to get her to elaborate a little. Now THAT would have been instructive.

[Jane G]

Well you didn't make it worse by saying nothing, but maybe you could have pumped her up a bit if you had said something like "oh honey that's just not possible, u always look better than me, I'm faking it but you are the real deal."

then go change, go shopping, and buy her something that looks really good on her.

This only works if you are indeed faking it. Not so in this case. Better to play the innocent and admiring spouse and let her know that you appreciate her feminine beauty. You made the right call Krisi.

[jjjjohanne]

No one would think she was a lesbian if you looked like a dude in a prettier outfit than her. It sounds like quite a flattering compliment!

[Krisi]

Thanks for all the comments. After thinking about it for a few days (and reading your posts), I think the only thing I could have said other than silence would have been to deny it and say she looked better. She was wearing her normal errand clothes, black stretch shorts, a blouse and sandals. No makeup or jewelry. She had no reason to get all dolled up to run errands. I'm sure it was just the outfits.

I have no illusions that I am a better looking female than her. It would take a lot of surgery to come close.

As for the "lesbo" comment, I have to respect how she feels. Unlike some folks here, we don't live in a city well known for gays and lesbians, they are pretty uncommon around here or they stick to themselves. We know one or two, that's it. It's not that we avoid them but we don't seek them out either.

I do hope one day that she will agree to go out with Krisi in public but I know if it happens it will be in another town where we're unlikely to be recognized.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Krisi:hugs:, Discursion is the better part of valor. ~~...:daydreaming:...