Unrecognizble

[Sheila11]

I usually stop for coffee or cakes and eggs about once a week enfemme. Always in a dress and heels. I have developed a relationship with the waitresses. One in particular. We talk every time I go in. She has set at my table and shared of her life and family. We tried to put a shopping trip together but that fell through.

Stopped by for breakfast this morning in drab. Purposely engaged my friend in conversation several times. She never had a clue that I was Sheila's alter ego.

Something like that can boost a girls confidence.

[Robin414]

Great topic Sheila! I've met a client MANY (I mean MANY) times in my 'work look' and once in my 'casual look' (this was in the winter and I was wearing a ball cap and guys North Face puffer jacket) and she seriuosly didn't recognize me! Now that I have a totally fluid look all the time though...ahhh heck...just freakin come out already 😧

[sara.rafaela]

I am a regular at a club. One of the people I usually talk with is a guy who dresses from the neck down. I say guy because I makes no effort to look feminine above the neck, and uses his male name. Before getting ready to go out I ran into him at a deli. I did not talk, but I was in line behind him. He did not recognize me.

[docrobbysherry]

I've had this happen a few times. When I'm out dressed, folks either give me the fish eye or ignore.
Then, I put on a mask from my purse and folks or dressers said, "I know u, you're Sherry"!

[Robin414]

I could totally spot you Sherry (with or without a mask), you look totally natural hon, seriously! (And Ya, I did see your 'real' pic ☺ )

[Tracii G]

Had that happen with a few people at restaurants I frequent.
I used to go to one Subway quite a bit and got to know the girls behind the counter somewhat.
So every other week I would go enfemme on my way shopping and never had one say hey aren't you that dude that comes in here all the time?

[reb.femme]

I saw our local group lead at the Railway station on my way home from work one evening. I crept up and whispered "hi ya" in her ear, to which she took a step back. I had to tell her who I was and she knows my old puss very well from our meets and being round her place. Nice to know we can remain incognito.

When we see our boy/girl pics side by side, it's easy enough to see the relationship, but separate them as in real life and it becomes very difficult to recognise each other.

Becky

[Beverley Sims]

Sometimes it leaves doubts in my mind as to how successful we are in our transition.

I have inadvertantly run into others in my opposite guise only to find that they are talking to a stranger and I had better not spill the beans.

[Candice June Lee]

Hi Sheila
Yes that would definatly boost the ego and confidence of any one of us. Wonderful to hear.

[ClosetED]

I also do not think my drab self recognizable from the pictures of Ellen. The very few who have seen both have agreed. Women love makeup to change how they look - it works for guys just as well- even better since others are not expecting it and we use wigs more often to change hair color.
Hugs,
Ellen

[Jane G]

Interesting thread. :heehee:

[Angela Marie]

I have been in many places as Angela and then later in my male persona. Never a clue from the people I had encountered before. Once I was in another city and went shopping and stopped at a MAC counter. The SA was great. I told her my story. She gave me a few tips and I bought some cosmetics (Love MAC). I went back a few days later with my wife and while she was shopping I went over and introduced myself. She had no idea. It made me feel great and we both had a good laugh.

[Sheila11]

I went in to the café this morning to drop off a Christmas card, wish my friend Merry Christmas, and chat from behind a cup of coffee. Both waitresses said they had not seen me in two weeks and were hoping I would make it in before Christmas. I was just in (as male) two days ago. I am ready to go anywhere, anytime.

I think one of the major things that adds to my look is glasses. I bought a pair with clear lenses at Clair's, and I really feel they present a totally different person. Of course they are combined with makeup, a wig, pretty dress, hose, jewelry, and killer heels. With the glasses on I would swear that I am looking at my sister in the mirror.

If you want a good laugh about my mom not recognizing me check out this thread
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?220450-CAUGHT!!!!!-can-t-stop-laughing&highlight=

[Eryn]

My male and female selves used to be very dissimilar. He had short-cropped hair, normal beard shadow, etc. She wore a lot of makeup and shoulder length hair, so nobody could really make a connection between the two.

Then I got my ears pierced. And did electrolysis. And grew out my hair. My female looks now aren't all that different from my male looks, and I get misgendered female in male mode far more often than the other way around.

I'm not unhappy about this, but it does illustrate how we can evolve if we choose to do so.

[flatlander_48]

The week after the photo below was taken, I went to lunch with a couple of good friends that I have known for 20+ years. I had come out to them before the event where the photo was taken. I wanted to tell them personally as we all know how quickly news travels and gets distorted. Since they were unable to make the event, I brought my iPad to lunch so that I could show them photos of DeeAnn.

I was VERY surprised to hear the response: "If I didn't know...". I think there's a few reasons for this and each element has a part to play. One is context. We draw heavily upon visual clues. When we see feminine clothing, jewelry, skirts, hose and heels, we obviously associate that with females. Additionally, over the years, I have lost a lot of hair. Therefore, to see someone with a full head of hair (albeit, a wig) works to break the connection between my male and female presentations. Further, the power of makeup is transformative. The tendency is that we look younger because differences in skin texture, coloration, wrinkles, etc. are at least obscured and at best rendered invisible. Lastly, as we become more comfortable with dressing and being in public, our mood may lighten up and we may smile more. I had not thought about this before until someone commented on another photo that I posted here. The response was that I seemed "...so happy.". I looked at the photo again and I could see what she meant. It wasn't an ear-to-ear grin. Rather, it was the reflection of quiet contentment.

I think each one of those elements (and there are likely others) come together to create a picture and that creates an impression. In my case, this is pretty good until you get to close scrutiny. I don't have a large Adam's Apple for example, but it is clearly something that a female would not have. However, the big deal-breaker for me is my voice. So far I have made no attempt to make adjustments. DeeAnn essentially sounds like Don.

DeeAnn

[Sarasometimes]

That is the holy grail of passing I think. I got close a few years back at a salon. I had them first do my makeup (I was a model for a new hire so it was free) then I had my hair set and dried under a dryer. As she was removing the rollers and finishing my hair a 3 way conversation evolved (I was just listening) between my stylist, me and a client with hair color on her head sitting next to me. Eventually I spoke. Before i left my stylist whispered "The woman who was sitting next to you, told me she had no idea you were a male until you spoke!"
I still hang my hat on this one!

Congrats!!