My Christmas Wish

[StephanyT]

Today I was sitting at work and thought of this on the fear of coming out and accepting yourself for who you are.

My Christmas Wish…

Another year has gone by and on the outside I’m still the same person I was the day before, nothing has changed even though I know I’m different inside. Maybe this will be the year I will wake up on Christmas morning and get that gift I’ve always wanted. But I know its a wish that will never happen…my life will be the same, I will go about life day to day wanting, hoping and wishing, as we all know miracles like this don’t happen.

I know I will have to do this on my own, no one will do it for me, I must have the courage and need to be true to myself and let the world know, not let fear set in again…the fear of rejection, the fear of the unknown, the fear of accepting me as me.

But Christmas will come and go again, as do the days of the week, I will still be me…trapped inside, emotionally hurting, wanting out, longing to be the person I should have been.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Love StephanyT :)

[Rachelakld]

May your life change, in the way that suits who you are, before to many Christmas pass.
Merry Christmas

[bridget thronton]

Merry Christmas

[Jane G]

Ouch! Stephanie I feel your emotion I,'m still hiding away in the closest after 50 years. But I'm a happy girl. I know who I am. I have achieved so much in my life. As a CD who took hormones in my twenties and was so close to transition ,I can tell you it's not every thing. There is more to life. Enjoy who you are and enjoy life.

[reb.femme]

Hi Stephany,

Feeling some of the pain myself. I would love to be more open about who I am, but this not to be, by agreement with my wife. I think many of us are harbouring this kind of angst. As each step we make in our development becomes the norm, we keep wanting more until we find our happy perch in life. Sadly, many will not make that final step in their own development, me included.

Becky

[StephanyT]

Thanks for the kind comments :) I love this forum with all the support we give each other, your comments are appreciated!

Still the same today:)...and I know coming out would be a big relief I have come close to doing this...but I know my wife would not accept StephanyT...and neither would most of my friend (too much redneck tendencies).

I do get to express myself privately as Stephany and I'm very happy that I'm able to do this.

Again not trying to be down on this, as this is a wish I've had for many years...to wake up fully transitioned as Stephany with no consequences or rebuttal from any anyone.

After all a girl is allowed to dream!

[Candice June Lee]

Hi Stephany sorry to hear your sadness. Hopefully you get some kind of outlet for yourself.
Merry Christmas

[alison1977]

I completely understand you...