How's this for acceptance?

[Isabella Ross]

My wife and I are in the process of relocating within British Columbia, here on the West Coast of Canada. We're moving from the Okanagan area to Vancouver Island. Being somewhat of an obsessive plan-ahead type, I searched out a plus size consignment store minutes away from our new home, and on Christmas day, I sent the owner an email. I wasn't expecting a response on Christmas day, but I got one...and what a response! Here's the email conversation verbatim:

I wrote:

"Hi, I'm a mature crossdresser moving into the area from the Okanagan. I have as much of a hard time finding 18w/20w dresses as anyone else, but a great source for me has been a plus size consignment store in Kelowna. The owners have been excellent in terms of acceptance. I understand not every consignment store owner will be so open-minded. So that's the question I have for you...are you comfortable with me shopping in your store? Please keep in mind that I would not be shopping as a woman, but instead as a guy...just an average (although slightly taller than average), mature man. Just thought I would ask before I come in, and I definitely understand if it doesn't work for you. Thank you, and best of the season."

The owner, Sarah, responded with this about an hour later, much to my surprise:

"Merry Christmas and Welcome to Our Beautiful City. We are a sex-positive, open to all and no shame environment. We have been a safe space for many trans, crossdressers, etc. for years. You may shop during business hours or gather a few friends and arrange for a closed hours shopping party:) We love playing dress up! My staff an I are happy to style you, just don't be shy introduce yourself and share your style desires.
XoXo
Love Your Body & Celebrate Your Curves"

And so my conclusion is that the world is becoming a friendlier and friendlier place to all of us who are fortunate enough to be TG.

Happy holidays to all the wonderful people I've met here!

Isabella

- - - Updated - - -

P.S. If anyone who lives on Vancouver Island (or anyone planning on visiting) would like the details about the store, please PM me.

[suzanne]

The response you got was very sweet, but not all that surprising. I am about the same size as you, so there aren't a lot of places I can shop here in his Vancouver area, but I get first class treatment wherever I go. Interestingly, my favorite store here has a franchise in Kelowna, so I popped in once for a quick peek. The SA there was unaccustomed to a big guy in her shop, so she was unhelpful, but that's a rarity.

[Isabella Ross]

Suzanne, I'm not surprised by the unhelpful nature of the SA you met in Kelowna...the area is radically more conservative than Van/Van Island. Almost a bible belt.

[reb.femme]

People all over can like polar extremes, no matter where or when. As always, a business is about the people that populate it rather than the business as a whole.

Dead sweet though, nonetheless.

Becky

[AngelaYVR]

Now that's a lovely way to start the new year! And we'll have to take them up on that private party thing...as long as they also have something in my size. Otherwise, you're on your own babe! ;) :D

[Isabella Ross]

Angela, that would be fun, wouldn't it? Hmmmm....

[carrie001]

What a wonderful reply! Good for you and happy shopping!

[Suzie Petersen]

Isabella,

Thats a Double Good right there! Good for you, to write to the store, and Good for them to reply they way they did!!

As a matter of fact, it is a very smart move from Sarah's side to offer the private party shopping experience. Many of us in the CD community are not comfortable shopping for clothes, in girl mode or in guy mode for that matter. For her to offer to open up the store outside of regular hours to accommodate you is just an awesome gesture .. and a smart business move!

Many years ago I was part of a group where the same thing happened. A local shop owner offered to do an after hours special session to accommodate the groups "ladies" to come in in girl or guy mode and just relax, try on clothes and have a fun experience. I could unfortunately not go, but the group had an absolute blast and the shop owner made a small fortune both that evening and in years to come.

I think you should take her up on it and set something up when you move there! Connect with some of the local "girls" and see if you can bring in refreshments and make a social event out of it. I guarantee it will be fun and the shop owner will not regret it!

- Suzie

[Jenniferathome]

Isabella, just like on this forum, it's the vocal MINORITY who make noise. The positive people in the world don't sing their own praises, they're just positive. I think your experience IS the norm but it is offset by the shouting of the few.

My experiences match yours

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Isabella:hugs:, That's an awesome story it sounds like great place. ~~...:daydreaming:...

[debstar]

Ok I'm probably going to be seen as the nagative rational type here.

A business that is open and accepting of us is doing nothing more then running a good business. "We" are customers who have money to spend, I do not doubt that they may be simultaneously well intentioned but would not consider them friends at the same time.

A smart business person will always find and fill a gap while others are unable to adapt or change.

[Robin414]

Awesome story Isabella, thanks for sharing!

I agree with Deb to a point but based on that email it sounds like genuine acceptance, I've seen the 'forced' and genuine variety on occasion (at the same place) 😯

[Stephanie47]

My money spends the same as anyone's. It's good business sense to cultivate business relationships with all customers. All proprietor's I have met over the years just expect the customers to be cordial and clean. In Washington State it is illegal to discriminate based on gender expression, etc. That does not mean a proprietor will extend the same level of service to all. I think we have all experienced poor service without regard to race, creed, color, national origin or sexual identity.

Years ago there was a women's store in a local strip mall that had a small sign just below the hours of operation that indicated the store welcomed cross dressers. And, that was more than thirty-five years ago. There was recently a local news piece of a consignment store which welcomed cross dressers and transwomen. She appeared to be genuinely sincere about providing services to an underserved segment of society, but, I'm sure she recognized there's potential income also.

[Karen RHT]

I recall my mother starting as just another customer at a local dress shop back around 1960 or so. Wasn't all that long before a true friendship developed between the owner and my mom. That friendship went well beyond "good business" and never ended, even after the shop was sold when the owner retired. Not disagreeing with Debstar, just pointing out there are exceptions.


Karen

[TrishaTX]

wow that is great, everyone should be that way to create more business right? lol As it is Christmas, I have been shopping for the clothes all week for the wife, it appears no man can shop for their wife, because I got followed around in every store , " Do you know what size?" Do you know what she likes?"...I have been shopping for me wife ( and me) for 20 years I the can pick some clothes! just a bit frustrating, on a funny note...I went to Walgreens and bough some make up for me last week, along with some guy stuff, the lady said " You picked a few good ones, she must have texted you" then said " you know we have those Crossdresser in here all the time!" lol...I was going to say...you do now!

[Judy-Somthing]

Thats cool.

About twenty years I went into a Girdle Shop in Boston and said I was looking for something for my wife.

Well after I said she was a 38B they said "if it's for you don't be shy, lots of men come in here"

They were very friendly and measured me, which was a little embarrassing but, I ended up getting something that fit right.

[grace7777]

This reminded me of a story I heard from a former co worker of mine. She was working at a clothing store in the northeast catering to tall women. Being a store for tall women, you can figure it would attract the interest of crossdressers. The event she described happened in the 1970's. A guy who was a cross dresser came into the store and found items he was interested in buying, so he asked my former co workers if he could return items if they did not fit. She responded why don't you try on the clothes here so you can see if they fit. The response shocked him since no other store in the area would all him to try on women's clothes. So he tried them on and ended up purchasing $5,000 worth of clothes. Now this is $5,000 in the 1970's.

So the guy ended up getting a lot of nice clothes that fit, and my former co worker ended up getting a very nice bonus.

Also, I have never come out to my former co worker about me, have not seen her in over 2 years, and at the time she told me the story, even crossdressing was not something I was into.

[amandagurl2014]

Shopping in person is definitely getting easier these days. Sounds like that store is going to make a lot of money :) I also had a good shopping experience lately. I put off for years shopping while dressed. Finally got the nerve to just do it. I called ahead of time to a few stores and point blank asked if it were ok for a guy like me to come in and shop. One place in particular, the manager answered the phone. She welcomed me in with open arms and personally helped me shop. She even gave me her cell numbers so I could text to find out it she is working or not when I want to come in and shop. Dressed of course. Ive had a few less than positive experiences too along the way, but overall it is getting much easier for us to shop.

[Jazzy Jaz]

Congratulations Isabella on finding this new store and good luck with your move! It's too bad we are losing a sister from this area but Vancouver Island is nice and I'm sure you and your wife will enjoy it there.

[bridget thronton]

Happy holidays - hope the move is an easy one

[Helen_Highwater]

As my dear old mother used to say, "If you don't ask, you don't get". But having asked it was just the reply you wanted. Happy shopping.

[SHY KIM]

Isabella
Sounds like a very nice experience. Acceptance shouldn't have to be so hard to find. BUT...
I'm just getting started and also made sure to ask "if it's ok" before I even started browsing. So far two for two for the good girl!
Although I still would feel uncomfortable in a crowded store.
Kim
Chicago

[Marianne T]

Isabella, I would look up the Cornbury Society in Vancouver http://www.cornbury.org/

A wonderful, positive bunch of CDs when I had the opportunity to interact with them at Esprit many moons ago.

Thy should be able to tell you all of the best places to visit and shop for your femme self and visit end femme.