How do you want them to find you......dead?

[Wen4cd]

Sometimes when I'm sitting there doing my makeup for the day, (or more commonly, a long night alone with myself, since a life of shiftwork requires me to be nocturnal) or dressing for the evening, that old familiar morbid thought never fails to cross my mind.

"Uh, what if I suddenly am struck with death while dressed? How would they find me?"

In a small town such as where I live, you know the local ambulance guys, all of them, on a first name basis, along with most everyone else in town, and you know their ways, so I could reasonably guess down to the man who would be walking into my house to find a (hopefully) good-looking corpse. A few of them will have been around me dressed in life and would be amused, some others confused, I guess. You could say I'm half-outed.

This thought used to terrify me for some reason. Maybe I was worried for my wife's reputation.

But after years and years, I find the image has totally converted itself into one of amusement, and sometimes even of a final assertion of myself. I find myself almost intentionally dressing for this event. Now I go through my costume jewelry box and say: "ah these are the earrings I want to be found in if I die tonight." And as far as my wife goes, leaving her with an awkwardly dressed late husband to be carted away, I've come to think it would be kind of hilarious. Probably do her good.

Does anyone else have this experience? Does this self image of how we appear in death make some final statement on how we view our life? Or, are the years of night-shift just finally turning me into a genuinely morbid, spooky person? How would you want your mortal shell to be found if you were to suddenly perish while dressed at home?

I'd say this is more geared to the closeted, or half-outed CD, but I will assume that Transitioning TS men/women also carry a spectre of the dead self-image. I think it's in inherently human phenomenon, whether we are the type to want to dwell on it or not.

[Tracii G]

Kind of a sick thing to think about really.
It really won't matter you will never know.LOL

[jazmine]

i can only hope that i bring the living the "most uncomfortable feeling" possible to deal with. HAHAaa. I'm dead, you're alive. If you know me, it's totally what I would leave my family & friends to ponder. And to think I told everyone while living, ...but they thought I was joking and laughed at me.........My friends & family are always trying to "up" one another in fun. Wouldn't it be fun to leave them with the thought, "wow, he wasn't kidding when he said he said he liked to dress in the opposite birth gender's clothes.......
haha...i'm such a "dick"......

[sometimes_miss]

i can only hope that i bring the living the "most uncomfortable feeling" possible to deal with.
I'm with Jazmine on this. I mean, people spend lots of money on haunted houses and horror. why not give them something really disturbing to see? Something they'll never forget. Be a story that will be passed on through the ages. Like that story about the actress that died with her head in the toilet. (brb, have to google that.....) Oh yeah, found it. Lupe Velez. She wanted to be remembered. Dressed up real pretty, wrote a suicide note, took an overdose of drugs on top of alcohol. Supposedly died after vomiting into the toilet, drowning in it as she fell forward. No one who heard that story will ever forget her. There are some reports that say the tale was something made up, but well, anything's possible.

Having worked on an ambulance crew for a few years, I just hope for whoever finds me that I'm not all stinky from the fluids (and other 'stuff') that comes out of our bodies orifices after we die. But it would be cool to have a evil grin on my face, and eyes wide open. That always freaks people out.

[StephanieinSecret]

I worry more about whoever has to clean out my closet...

[pamela7]

when i'm dead I won't worry about it, everyone knows.

[Melissa in SE Tn]

For many of us, living the cd life literally & figuratively means living in a closet. Many of us don't want family members , friends & coworkers to know of our secret uniqueness. I don't want to be dressed & found dead. My hope is to live my life & find peace as Melissa whenever I can within the parameters of my very closeted domestic situation. I wish you much peace in your dressing.

[MarciManseau]

How about what's on your computer and on your backup devices? Make sure any x-rated files or folders are well protected.

[mechamoose]

If I'm being myself when I pass, that is all I need.


I want to leave this world the same way I came into it,
naked, screaming, and covered in someone else's blood.
-unknown

- MM

[Robin777]

I want to be found with a nice dress on and a smile on my face.I want to pass away dressed and happy.I'm a closet CD and I don't care who knows it after I pass away. I have had thoughts of putting it in my will that I be buried with a dress on. but that probably won't happen as I probably will be cremated. I really don't care what anyone thinks after I'm dead. So if I die anytime soon my wife has instructions to sell my slip collection on Ebay.

[Allisa]

Of old age and in bed in my nightgown and panties. My will, will take care of the rest of my estate.

[Catriona]

We all worry sometimes about how we might be found. Maybe it is better to just enjoy life as were are, because, when we are gone, it just does not matter.

[Judy-Somthing]

I've been thinking about that more since now that I'm older.

If you think a family member will find your stash after you pass.

Here's what I've come up with so far since I'm in the closet.

Keep your wardrobe collection as small as possible. For awhile I was up to six moving boxes, bad right.

I've haven't decided yet if I should put a note or letter in the stash to soften the blow.

Also I avoid having anything that you know some people would find to out of the norm.

Over the years after one of my uncles passed I've heard negative comments that he used to cross-dress.

I really don't want to be remembered like that.

[SherriePall]

If I am all dolled up when I pass, my wife will probably kill me!
Just hope I look good.

[Lorileah]

I find that many threads here border on fantasy. But how you are found will impact those around you forever. And contrary to what you see in movies, it isn't a pretty sight if you are unattended and are found after a few hours. You won't be the Princess bride on an alter.

But really? Some of you seem to think of this as getting some sort of revenge. I find that more than creepy. I find it mean and rude to be honest. It also tells me that many of you have never had to be in contact with death. It makes you ill. Even when you don't know the person, you feel ill (having been involved in finding people and also helping at massive car accidents)

I am part of a group we are putting together for "postvention" counseling after a loved one succeeds in suicide. What we look at is the concentric rings around the dead person, the closest being loved ones and family. But there are more groups that are effected. Your neighbors, the kids next door, friends, classmates, the people you know at the store and church. It is a ripple in a pond that keeps expanding. If you died unattended, you involve police and fire personnel. Doctors and hospital staff. It's bad enough that some find it amusing that the spouse would be the one, like you will get some sort of revenge for your life. That you think it funny that the last memory of you would be that of something they didn't know or didn't want to know. I find that mean. The professionals will keep your secret, well up until they have to tell your loved ones. So you put the onus on them to display your secret.

The comment of a will comes up. Is that will private? For only your spouse or will others be privy to the line that says "Throw my women's clothing in the river before the kids find out." This thread has pertinence but I see it in another perspective. Many keep posting "It isn't anyone's business but mine". When you die it becomes someone elses business. I think many here make an assumption that death will come easy and quietly when you are old. What if it doesn't? Two days before Christmas a close friend was killed in a car accident. Details are few right now at least for me. Was she "dressed"? Why did she cross the line at 60 plus miles and hour into oncoming traffic? I pray she didn't do it on purpose. All we know right now is alcohol and drugs weren't involved. But, it was fast. She was out just three nights before. So now we add to the wonder, when her children went to her house, what did they know and what did they find? Heavy burden, right? Especially for the myriad of people here who choose to keep their children out of the loop (especially adult children).

So add all that up. Think about things. Death is the end for you but life keeps going for those around you. Yeah you may find it amusing to think of the reaction that someone has when they find you...but it isn't funny.

How do I want to be found? I don't. I hope that when I do die, I will be surrounded by friends and family. But if they do find me unattended I know that wearing a night gown will be the least thing they have to worry about

[reb.femme]

My take is that it's fine to joke about death in some ways, as for me it is probably a coping mechanism for the one event coming at some time to all of us. I'm not getting down on this post, as I believe we should be free to voice our thoughts, even if a little off the wall or a little morbid. When I go, it'll be fate that decides on the day how I look. Could be embarrassing, might not be. However, from bitter experience, I concur wholeheartedly with Lorileah on all her points.

I found a partner after a suicide and although it was clean (by drugs and not mutilation) I still see and remember the scene very graphically. It isn't a pretty sight and you won't be the Princess bride on an alter.

Lorileah says "it makes you ill". If it's someone you know and/or love too, it hurts like *uck. Still does after 17 years. Think about the people that you care for and forget those that don't deserve your time or thoughts. It's the one's that care about you that will suffer, why make it harder on them?

Each to his/her own though, just not for me on this one, sorry!

Becky

[Chandlyr Ellis]

I think my family would say, “He would have wanted it this way”.
or, “Doesn’t surprise me at all, but those shoes don’t go with that dress”
or, “Who’s gonna pick out what we bury him, I mean her, in?”
My daughter might say, “Damn, if only all those shoes were two sizes smaller!”

Those close to me will remember me for me,
not that I kicked the bucket while all dolled up.

Those who only remember that I was “dressed” didn’t know me.

[Dana44]

I have to agree with Lorileah that this is not funny. We are mortal people and at best we should do our best to live and dying should be planned if one can. But if you died suddenly then its possible that your secrets are lost to those alive that may mock you.

[JocelynJames]

I actually think about this every time I go underdressed for a motorcycle ride. I was In an accident in summer '14 and dislocated a shoulder. They wanted to X-ray my whole body, but I said I have a bruised hip and the shoulder issue. So I walked went through the hospital bare(shaved) chested and the (f) Dr. May have caught glimpse of my pink VS pal ties as she put the shoulder back in. I hope I don't embarrass so done when I pass, that they realize it was who I was

[Allison_CD]

My Lover may say are you sleeping ?

[karynspanties]

Don't really care....I will be dead!!!

[Allison Chaynes]

I want to go like like my grandfather, peacefully while asleep. Unlike the passengers in his car.

But seriously... I only worry about the CD side of death for the heartache it would cause my wife. I've already died once and it was no big deal, I did not even know until the surgeon shared it with me two months after the fact when I asked about complications. After I woke up from heart surgery, my first question was not "Did it go ok?" It was "Does my happy place still work?" So, I see no problem laughing and joking during life and death situations.... maybe it's the old soldier in me?

I'm glad I didn't out myself while under morphine and all the other drugs.

[Wen4cd]

I like the varied responses. To be clear, though, I was in no way referring to suicide. Suicide is murder and several malicious assaults wrapped into one of the most horrible acts humans are known to do.

No, I just meant the same common experience of natural death we all will (hopefully) eventually face. A natural death leaves a totally different set of "expanding ripples" than a suicide or other unnatural death, regardless of what you're wearing, (and accidental death leaves an even different bunch of circles. )

But for my demographic, if I am to to die in the forseeable future, the most likely causes would be, as I understand them, to suffer death from an unexpected massive heart attack (likely while exerting myself, such as when I'm dressed and workout dancing) or to be killed on the highway on my way to or from work. (Not dressed) so there's a 50/50 chance I'll be en femme if I died, say, sometime this coming year unexpectedly. (I pretty much am dressed for most of every weekend, and drab the rest of the week when I'm running the roads to work.)

Yes the thought of leaving my wife with some explaining to do is probably a mean one. But the alternative would seem to be the ludicrous: "never dress in the off chance I were to die" at least for my circumstance. I highly doubt it will ever happen like that, but at least I've been able to turn the thought into a funny one over the years. And yes, I do want to leave people laughing, it's probably the best cure for the crying. Back in the day, we talked about her cutting off my clothes and washing my face before anyone got there, but since then I've told her, "ah the hell with it, just comb my wig a bit if it's mussed."

I'm not deeply closeted, most of my core friends have been with me dressed, and the rest, who cares? I assume my wife will posthumously throw me under the bus anyway, if it were to get awkward, and either deny knowledge of it, or play the long-suffering spouse.

My parents were both cops, my godparents were cops, aunts, uncles, cops. etc., and many of my friends are ambulance and fire guys. It's from their stories told around the table that I learned long ago that you aren't really going to shock anyone. I've seen police photo albums full of pictures of dead bodies found in houses, and heard the stories to go with them. These guys have seen it all already, and and have a far wider view of how common we are than we do ourselves.

Plus, I'm reasonably strong and healthy, don't smoke, drink, take drugs, I exercise a lot, work hard, and I'm a pretty defensive driver, so I don't 'expect' suddenly perish in my early 40's. And I don't go out of my way to be morbid either, it's just some mental tic that I've noticed over the last 20 years or so of dressing.

In the last several years I've watched way too many loved ones die, way too young, (some of them as young as 30, and even a nephew of 5,) all from cancer, to get all solemn at the idea of my own demise. My little nephew dying in his father's arms after a year long battle with cancer: not funny. But, lil ol' me, someday kicking the bucket while having the time of my life, and being carted out the house in nylon stockings and a dress: WAY funny, in comparison.

I don't picture Princess Bride on an altar either. I'm usually imagining some scene reminiscent of Police Squad!, where Leslie Neilsen is delivering some dry puns about "what a drag" his job is, while I'm being wheeled out behind him, with one 5-inch heel'd leg hanging off the stretcher for a sight gag.

[BOBBI G.]

I just want them to find me before decomposition starts,

Bobbi

[NicoleScott]

So what are we supposed to do? Stop crossdressing so we don't die while crossdressed? If it happens, it happens. To add to what Chandlyr said ("Those who only remember that I was dressed didn't know me"), in that case it doesn't matter what those people think.
There is no right or wrong way to deal with death, whether our own or others. Some people, when they lose someone close, need a week off work while others need to return to work immediately, as their way of coping requires. We can contemplate our own death with humor, revenge, in-your-face, sadness, celebration, or indifference. It's our life (well...death), so it's our choice, our right. Of course, others may think it's creepy, as it is their right.

[Teresa]

Lorileah,
Thanks for posting your honest reply.
I will admit that my initial thought was like Robin's , dressed with a smile on my face !

You description of that unexplained road accident was a duplicate of what I nearly did , it wasn't premeditated , but a dreadful spur of the moment mental thought !

So what stopped me in those split seconds of my foot going from brake to accelerator ? The sudden thought of how the lorry driver coming towards will feel knowing he's responsible for my death, how will he live with that for the rest of his life ? My death or my family never came into that brief slot !

I 'm sorry to repeat this but it's why I find it hard to accept it when members say it's an enjoyable hobby, no hobby should reduce a person to thoughts of ending their life .

[Krisi]

My concern would be for my wife if I go first or my children if my wife is gone. It would be embarrassing for them and they might resent me for it.

Other than that, I will be dead and won't know or care about it.

BTE: I plan on being reincarnated as a hot female.

[Stephanie47]

Several years ago I watched a tv murder mystery where the perpetrators made it look as a detective had committed suicide. His boy was found hanging and him wearing under dressing' hosiery, panties, etc. He wasn't a cross dresser. The perpetrators outfitted him. Another movie I saw had a copy with a cross dressing fetish die while receiving the services of a hooker. A lot of time was spent ridding him of his garb and cleaning off his makeup. Now, that may be over the top.

I'm sure many of us think of the possibility of a vehicle accident that will send us to the hospital in an ambulance. At least if you pass away and are stone cold your wife has the opportunity to cut off your pretties and clean up the body as best she can. If I pass away my wife can donate my stuff and there is too much stuff, but, what if she predeceases me?

[Tracii G]

I know to some death seems to be something to scoff or make light of but it is a nasty circumstance and someone always gets hurt be it family or friends.
I just had a friend cut his arms and throat in attempt to end his life and it hurts me deeply.
Pretty sure if I go my kids will find all my female stuff but they will remember me in a good way I'm sure.

[Sarah Doepner]

Before my wife passed away I worried less about this issue than I did for a couple of years following that. If I preceded her in death she would have been able to handle the presence of my crossdressing clothing, etc. So I worried about what would happen and I first wrote a letter to explain what was in the closet and possibly what they may have found me wearing. That wasn't enough, so I've come out to my adult children and will probably come out to a few others who may become aware of that aspect of my life. So depending on where and when I die, there will be people who know about me. So that will give me a bit more of a chance of passing with a smile on my face, regardless of what kind of underwear I have on.

[Cheryl T]

To paraphrase the old adage... "Die pretty and leave a good looking corpse".

[Saikotsu]

Kinda morbid thought, but its good to be prepared for the eventuality of death. I'd rather die presenting as a man. Or in a blaze of glory. I wouldn't mind if I died presenting as a woman if I died epically or heroically. If I have a heroic death, I don't care how I'm presenting. That said, I hope I have many years ahead of me before that, but you never know when your time is up.

[sabrinaedwards]

You are relatively young, but I agree that I would not want to be found dressed as Sabrina. This is not a subject to be taken lightly as others have posted. It is a worry to those of us that are not totally out.
Love, Sabrina

[Jonni Lin]

Found dead ? If I'm not in camo with a gun near me, then I hope it would be in my sleep with my nightie on. I'm 50 live alone, what family I have is 2000+ miles away and not close to them, so it really doesn't matter to me, I'm dead so what do I care I'll be some where else anyway.

[Bruce64]

My cross dressing is for fantasy and fetish, I want to remain a Man and be seen as a Man and die while dress as a Man.

[Lily Catherine]

I wish I could say it wouldn't matter once I cross the finish line. I won't be there to know how I am eventually remembered, ha-ha!

But NO. It would matter. It's everyone's business but mine once I finish the race or (touch wood) DNF. I worry most for the latter.

I've already out to those who need to know - those who have a sufficiently intimate relationship with me. At best it'll soften the inevitable blow WHEN my stash is exposed. I anticipate shock rather than surprise, and that's the furthest thing from a laughing matter.

As selfish as I feel saddling loved ones with the burden of my being a CDer is, I feel that to hide the notion from them is even worse. I would rather they know even if they dislike the idea of me cross-dressed - in which case I would never dress in their presence.

To directly respond to OP's question: I'd rather not be found, although I will gravely keep in mind the possibility. Especially so when most of the loved ones I am now out to already know Lilian but have never seen her.

[Sky]

But NO. It would matter. It's everyone's business but mine once I finish the race or (touch wood) DNF. I worry most for the latter.

Spot on, Starlight. :thumbsup:

I'm a tad amused and a tad angered for the many answers ranging from "who cares, I won't be here" to "I want to shock them bad" Really??? Do we really believe that the world ends with us???

IMHO, we're all just passing through this world, but what remains are the memories among those who love us, or even those who don't but somehow we crossed paths during our transit. So the last thing I want to do is to shock anybody, especially loved ones. If you're out to everybody, then fine, wear your sequined tutu to the grave. But if you're not, I'd try not to burden anybody with reality TV-style "shocking revelations".

[Patty's panties]

Don't really care....I will be dead!!!

My thoughts exactly.

Peace...

[StacyCD]

Personally, I believe in a loving a God so I believe that he will love me as I am and want me to be happy with myself. Given that so many people have been 'discovered' as crossdressers, it will probably be an item for about 10 minutes and then people will become self absorbed with themselves once again.

[AllieSF]

I really do not care. Sorry Sky and others. It is my life and I should be able to live it as I please, and I will. If they don't know by the time I die, they will surely know after. They are adults, not youngsters. They should have good common sense by then, and should know how to handle surprises. The truth is that many do not share this side of themselves because they do not trust how others will react, whether family or friends. A spouse who regularly goes off the handle when things do not go their way, would be one of those who may only learn at the end. The fault about that is a two way street for both, not just for the seemingly always guilty CD. Only each individual can make the decision as to how they should handle what could happen at the end.

[Barbara Jo]

Since I have no family in the area ......or anywhere that gives a damn about me, I could not care less about how they found me if I should suddenly die.
After all, I will be dead.

Life has enough to be concerned about without worrying about death.

[heatherdress]

Interesting to see once again the range of answers, but not surprising. We are who we are, and sentiments shared reflect our individual experiences in life and our personal beliefs. They also reflect the degree to which we crossdress, how important it is to us, and the comfort we have confiding in others.

Death is a somber and, perhaps, morbid subject, but in spite of our diversity, it is a common event we will all share. It is an event: we will probably have minimal control of; we probably don't know when it will occur; we don't know where it will occur; we don't know who will be with us; we don't know who will find us; and we don't know what others will think of us after we are gone. Sure we can plan, and demonstrate care for those we love who will remain after we are gone, and maybe expect that they will remember us. But we should be more concerned about how we live rather than how we die.

We certainly have different beliefs about what happens to us after death. Personally, I hope that I wind up in a heaven where I can wear really high heels, walk in them easily, look great in a dress, and be accepted for who I am.

I want to live my life the best I can, doing what I believe to be the right things to do, treating others as I want to be treated. I don't want to not experience the joy and pleasure I have crossdressing because something unexpected might happen to me. I also do not want to make a statement by what I am wearing when I die that would be much more important to others than to me after my last breath. I believe that even though crossdressing is important to me, it is not the most important element of my life or the reason I exist. There is more to life than what we wear. I hope my last thoughts in life are more meaningful than what I am wearing.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Wen:hugs: Whether I'm dressed or not there's three closets full and 12dozen of size 13 heels and boots
that will have to be dealt with. ~~...:daydreaming:...

[JessiFoxx]

Uggs, skinny jeans and cami! LOL but yes seriously whatever I'm wearing at the time everyone will know once they open the closets.

[Laurana]

Torn to pieces by a shark that just shot out of a tornado.

[Amy Fakley]

just to prove that crossdressers have been worried about the same things since the beginning of time:

https://youtu.be/zpOq-eWqA3E?t=5m43s

[AngelaYVR]

I hope I have the foresight to put on something sequined before I kick the bucket.

[Lauri K]

I sure hope I will be wearing something pretty when I go, hopefully the damn funeral home doesn't make a mess of putting on my Kat Von D tattoo eye liner for the last time, nor snag my hose or wrinkle up my dress.

I wont be here to know, but those of you that are still here I am trusting in you to make sure this girl is presentable / if not passable for the celebration of my life !!!

At least my deep voice wont give me away ......

[kittie60]

Hopefully in my favorite red nighty with my backside sticking up so all the rest of the family can kiss my@$$. Hopefully I'll have a smile on my face as well.

[MarciManseau]

Kittie, I LOVE your attitude! I'm sitting here laughing out loud. My boss is giving me strange looks, but then she does that a lot :)

Seriously, I wonder if it would help if we have a close friend that knows all about us and is willing to try and explain things to our loved ones after we've gone?

[Steve]

Not really thought about it and tbh dont think i care. Would be happy with a cute pair of strappy stillettos and painted toes

[Ozark]

On New Year's Day I had a stroke. And my second pulmonary embolism. The doctor told me most people who have two don't have a third one. "They get better," I said? "They die" he said. Gulp.

My wife and I have talked about my 'pretty stuff'. For the last couple of years I have been slowly putting stuff on eBay and doing a forced 'purge'----meaning if it is either too small, hasn't been worn for a while, too feminine or not my style and it didn't sell on eBay--- it goes to the homeless shelter or the pregnancy care center. I just box it up and drop it off, usually saying, if asked, that we are cleaning out a relative's closets...which may be true.

It is easy to get rid of outer clothes and most outfits...I'm more comfortable in pull on jeans and tops. My wife has a 'rule of three'... at least one item of clothing I wear should be male....I ask if socks count. Usually I am underdressed, wearing jeans and a man's shirt over a women's tee shirt. When I injured my wrist last Winter, my wife helped me dress...I was dressing for eaze of putting on the clothes, not for stylishness.

But getting back to the topic of this thread. We are friends with a LGBT couple, they know I like to wear women's clothes. I suggested to my wife that if I pre-decease her that the girls come over and sort through my stuff. She didn't want to do that.

So, I put it on eBay, slowly but surely. Jockey for her panties do not sell well, even new with tags. Vanity Fair and Shadowline panties sell well as do nightgowns and pajamas, especially the larger sizes.

The proceeds go into a 'fund' that is our trip money. We had a good laugh this past September, boondocking in the desert around Bishop CA. camped next to a river and we were grilling and sipping wine. I gravitated to an impromptu fashion show. My wife told me not to get those clothes dirty as we may need to sell them to get home. We laughed and laughed. I guess you had to be there. But it was funny and the memory is still funny.

When I die.... I suspect that my wife will gradually put all my stuff out with the garbage.

[mechamoose]

Which kind of brings us a 'general kink' thing...

Do you have a friend flagged who will 'clear out your sins' when you are gone?

I have a sealed envelope from a dear friend with instructions on what to do and delete on his PC should he end up on the wrong side of daisies.

If you care that much about what 'they' think after you are gone, what planning have you done to make sure that happens?

That isn't a passive thing, or limited to us, I could have a serious MLP fetish for all they knew... Do you want your 'Aunt Gertie' to know that?

All kidding aside, how many of you have a 'positive contingency plan'?

- MM

[Katey888]

It could happen suddenly... :eek:

Y'know - modding here can be quite stressful sometimes... come to think of it - my arm's been quite stiff lately... and - oh! Is that indigestion..? Just let me.... chjaa
kdgg ll&9**dmf mffmg.............
.......................................


(Just trying to lighten the mood a little.... ;))

Good points all - especially good about a positive plan MM... I must do it soon, I must do it soon (repeat after me...) I must do it SOON!

Katey x

[Allison Chaynes]

I have a friend who is to wipe my hard drive clean. My wife will do whatever she will with Allison's stuff.