c..c..confidence?

[Robin414]

I've always been a very confident alpha type 'guy' but now I've begun to adopt a more lets say 'femme' look I'm curious if anyone has been able to exchange the blue 'confidence' chips for pink ones straight across?

Yah, I know confidence is nothing more than a symptom of success but can 'blue' success directly translate to 'pink' success?

[Eryn]

Confidence is a matter of just going out and doing things. Do something enough and you will get confident.

[LaurenS]

Great question! I've used my alpha mask all my life, but now I'm trying to be softer and kinder. Guess it could go both ways.

[Stephanie Julianna]

I'm not sure about the answer as it relates to me. I can be an alpha person when I really want to control the outcome. However, as a nurse I need to follow my patiences needs and have become more passive and compliant when they ask for anything. This has translated into my private life where I have become less rigid and cave in to requests from my wife and family easier. However, my wife might not agree with that.

[pamela7]

i see some subtle differences that i relate to the nature of egg and sperm, underlying m and f in all aspects including confidence. so the sperm hunts, it goes for its target, the egg radiate and its target comes to it. the alpha female will bring suitors around like a honey pot. So its a different confidence, different behaviours imho.

[Sheila11]

Type A personality here. Confidence is just part of the package. As an employer I have been told I am intimidating to employees. I have traced it back to my confidence in what I do and how I do it. I do it, I do it right, I do it now, I do it efficiently, I do it without question or doubt.

When I crossdress: I am not sure what is right, I can't do it right now, it takes forever to put it together, I am not sure I am put together right or if I should be put together at all.

In spite of all that I muster all my courage into stepping out and engaging the world around me. Building acquaintances, establishing patterns, presenting myself as just another sojourner on this big blue marble.

I guess that's confidence.

[Sarah Doepner]

I'm not a type "A" and would prefer to sit in the background whenever possible, but sometimes it just doesn't happen that way. I like the question however and it made me consider how I've managed to get out in public presenting as Sarah when at one time I never thought it would be considered.

I hated speaking to groups but eventually the requirements of work required that I do that on a regular basis. Eventually I spoke confidently to a ballroom full of fellow professionals. The confidence that got me there was built first from being competent in my field and knowing the kinds of specialty language and skills needed to communicate. Add that to a growing requirement of speaking to more and more groups and you have my confidence fully developed.

Did any of that translate over to my crossdressing life? Maybe, is the answer. While the skill set and environment were different, the way to build my confidence was the same. So to present my female self to the world in confidence required building my skill sets on how to transform my physical self to appear, sound and behave more feminine. Then it's been one trip out the door after another, each one being a little different and each one stretching my comfort zone and building my confidence.

I don't think I could cite a direct exchange of "blue" chips for "pink" ones, but the "White" chips of learning were where the transferable values seemed to be found.

[Cheryl T]

It took some time for me to be as confident on this side of the aisle when out in public.
I think it's mostly just believing in yourself.

[Dana44]

I am a confidante male. As a female I am confidante but it is different. It is more at ease and feeling strong as a female. I was out yesterday and the store was packed. I felt I passed and walked tall. I think the female confidence is quite different thing.

[Krisi]

You need to be more specific about your term " 'femme' look". Are you dressing in typical men's clothing but with makeup and jewelry? Women's clothing with makeup and jewelry but no attempt at feminine hair, breasts or hips, or are you going all out to pass as a woman?

And then, explain the "confidence chips".

[Kate Simmons]

The best way to do it is just be yourself Robin. It will follow. :)

[mechamoose]

Confidence doesn't care what you are wearing. You just gotta be yourself.

It is so easy to stay home and be anonymous. Walking out the front door? That is different. That takes a pair (balls or breasts, it is still a pair)

We may have something to fear, but we have nothing to hide.

- MM

[Robin414]

I just left a local convenience store 'en tween' ( Skinny jeans, boots, Helly Hansen ski jacket - OK, down filled corset, talk about a Figure Flattering Fit 😀 ), foundation, mascara, lip gloss...by no means 'trashy' but 'well assembled' as a woman...but not a woman if that makes sense 😐 Maybe an extra in Zoolander 2 😂

Anyway, there was a creepy guy (customer) obviously hitting on the super attractive clerk...she saw me and was sooo happy, a non creepy customer...what can I get for you ☺

The creepy guy was clearly checking me out all the while but I could totally take him in an arm wrestle so it was all good ☺ +1 confidence point!

[docrobbysherry]

What Eryn said! Because the confidence issue is apples and oranges!

I'm quite confident in drab because people generally ignore me or don't notice me unless I address them directly. I'm free to do just as I please.:)

Out dressed as me or Sherry, that is NOT the case. Whether I'm greeted with derision, snake eyes, or overly propicious SA's, etc., it's COMPLETELY DIFFERENT than in drab. I'm NEVER "confidant" when I'm out. Because I'm never how or when someone will react to me. But, I DO know sooner or later someone will!:eek:

I am getting used to that but will probably never feel comfortable out dressed. Like the truly confidant girls do!