When someone asks "any chance you mind having a male admirer?" what do you they want?

[mirima1992]

I post on reddit from time to time and I get requests from guys looking for more personal interaction. I'm still pretty new to this and never respond, I assume they mean over the internet as some ask if I have kik or skype. Some are persistent and seem almost hurt I don't answer. I can't imagine ever meeting someone in person. The last request was from a frequent visitor to my inbox and went "Hi again, I love your pics, big closet fan(though consider myself straight) Any chance you mind having a male admirer?". Has anybody responded to attention like this, and what was the result? I included the picture from my reddit post, and most of my pics are kind of the "sexy" variety, which also makes me wary of responding, as I assume I know what they're looking for. Anyone with experience on the matter have any thoughts?

[JanePeterson]

I've responded to some... really not that exciting for me, but sometimes it makes me feel good to be someones object of desire and to know I'm making their day - whats the harm? The fun part is you are the one being pursued, so you have much more control over how personal/intimate the relationship will be. I say try and it and see if you like it!

xoxo

Jane

[Wen4cd]

From my experience the average admirer doesn't even know what he wants from you. They just find your presentation attractive, and once that happens, to be frank, it's more about what you want from them. It's not unheard of for us to be offered plane tickets. I've been offered and I know others who have. Be gentle. :)

I take it as a blanket statement of attraction, and a compliment.

PS: You are going to get a lot of admirer attention looking like the bombshell you are!

[Lorileah]

I say "while I am attracted to men and women, I really am not comfortable having admirers. Now if you would like to know me better on a non-sexual basis, I would be glad to have you as a friend and we can go to lunch or something." So far, they can't stay within those guidelines.

[pamela7]

yes, but what is an "admirer"? what is the social implied roles, like "look but don't touch", "have dinner or drinks but he pays"? "no sex, thankyou" ...?

[Mark/Rebecca]

I think it is wonderful that this thread hasn't turned into a paranoid " he politely approached me and I fled for my life" post.
We all crave human interaction. Being complimented by a gentleman may be very similar to how we compliment the person we hope to be in a relationship with. They are expressing their preference. Perhaps as we are more accepted, the more we will learn how to handle compliments and admiration as elegantly as females do.
I do have to say your admirer has an eye for beauty.

[reb.femme]

No experience, but that's probably for the best. I'm thinking if he declares himself straight but wants to be an admirer, he is definitely Bi Curious or simply a liar.

The web allows us the ability to hide behind a mask if we so wish. I would be extremely wary and as Lorileah said, she finds none can stay within the rules, shock horror!. :eek: If you don't mind having the male attention, that's fine, but not for me. Do they have female admirers for very old CDs? :heehee:

Becky

[Pat]

I've interacted with a few. Mostly they're just looking to be acknowledged. Internet being what it is, there's a goodish chance that you'll never meet so a little chit-chat through blind mail accounts is harmless. People looking for Skype hookups are looking for more, but email admirers are generally looking for some assurance they're still alive, still able to be charming and on some level still could play the game. We're kind of rare in the world even though we don't seem so to ourselves. So contact with us is exotic in a way. You have total control in this situation -- you don't have to let it go further than you want it to.

It's a whole different ball game if you move from email admirers to actually meeting people who contact you online. ;)


I'm thinking if he declares himself straight but wants to be an admirer, he is definitely Bi Curious or simply a liar.

I see this a lot in this forum. If we want to be accepted at our own evaluation of ourselves, we really should be willing to accept others at their own evaluation of themselves. -- Don't understand how someone could possibly be straight and attracted to CD? OK. Think of all the people who can't understand how your world makes sense. Just accept them, you don't lose anything by it.

[NicoleScott]

Long ago I chatted a lot in AOL crossdresser chatroons. Early on in nearly every conversation I asked "crossdresser or admirer?". Yes, there are creeps but you learn how to sort them out and politely (or not) terminate the conversation. But there are nice guys who admire crossdressers for whatever reason. I have had many very nice chats with both admirers and other CDers. In many cases we just want to mutually explore what makes us tick. I have never had anyone ask to be MY admirer, but rather just identify themselves as AN admirer of crossdressers in general, or in some cases, specific "attributes" or "interests". OK, fetishes. I find such conversations fun, informative, and harmless.

[kittie60]

U have no problems if they want to be admirers. I have even gone out with them. For the most part I have found out that they are very nice people who are closeted CD's, and all they want is someone to talk to and trust. Not all of them but a good number of them are.

[Krisi]

If a person "admires" you, he can do that without telling you. If he tells you he is an admirer or asks if he can be, he is probably hoping to take this to a personal level.

To answer your direct question ("what do you they want? "), my guess is that they eventually want a sexual relationship with you.

[NicoleScott]

If a man claims to be an admirer but uses his flattery to get to a sexual relationship via "mission creep" (emphasis on creep) , I don't consider him an admirer, but instead as devious, dishonest not-to-be-trusted,......uh, creep. Yes, there are people like this, but there are true admirers with no hidden agenda and who just want to chat. We have the power of <click> to stay in control. We shouldn't demonize admirers as we don't want to be demonized for being crossdressers. After all, we may have much in common.

[AngelaYVR]

I've had a few horrible requests through this site but most of my experience comes from real life.

The men I would classify as admirers are usually very passive, hence the mission creep. Easily kept at arm's length and unerringly polite

The other extreme are those who make no bones about liking women+ and want to take you home NOW. This group requires an assertive response if that's not your thing.

[Teresa]

Mirima,
I have never had an interest in men so I wouldn't put myself in that situation to attract male attention, but I am a bit surprised by some PMs on the forum making comments to me, I guess it is flattering . I love it when I get a nice response from a GG, now that does get my attention !

[Sarah-RT]

I've received some flattering yet unsought compliments on Facebook before I made it completely private apart from to my friends and family. Within a few days I had gotten 53! Friend requests from fetish dressers to young teenage boys. Initially it was ego boosting until the point it just became annoying and weird. There were guys in their 50's and 60's who's Facebook pictures included their presumable wives saying "your beautiful " seriously? Go back to your family..
I decided to make my account private to avoid that kind of stuff, it's not what I'm into and I'm not looking to lead anyone on, friends and family only

As for what they are looking for? Pictures or webcam I'd guess going with the stereotype of online horny males

[reb.femme]

...So contact with us is exotic in a way. You have total control in this situation -- you don't have to let it go further than you want it to...Don't understand how someone could possibly be straight and attracted to CD? OK...

Get real. You can hide behind psycho babble and all the old flannel you like, but the end game is the same. We can all say that someone looks great, their presentation fantastic, but to request permission to be one of your official cheerleaders :cheer::cheer: is not the actions of a straight man. Maybe he is straight, but in an exotic way? :facepalm:

Becky

[Mia27]

A lot of guys are looking for "sissys" or a crossdresser they can make into a sissy. A lot of guys I've talked too, (when i was experimenting, but realized i do not like guys at all) they want to make you into their girl, or eventually lead into a sexual relationship with you. Many guys think we are submissive and willing to go that extra step into feminization. But of course, with me.. .they didnt get that. I dont like to be objectified in that manor, and its kind of creepy the things they say.. So if a guys asks to "admire" you.. stay away. No guys is worth the flattering feeling, its only temporary, and they want something more. Just from my experience.

[reb.femme]

Mia's experience is the standpoint from which I work. I've been on this Earth a few years now, a male with male friends, so I know how it works, not a wet behind the ears kid. I just think being aware that deception is easy on the winter web is a good starting point. A guilty until proven innocent scenario I'm afraid (and I have a law degree), but fortune does not always favour the brave.

Becky

[tanya_cd]

This may not be the same for everyone, but to me, admirer is just another term for someone who wants to have sex with you. Although it has not always been the case, I don't mind the attention from male admirers. I know what they want, but I like the feeling of empowerment it gives me. If I gave it up, I feel like I would lose that. As far as it being creepy. I think everyone has a different opinion on what is creepy.

[Diane Smith]

All of my online profiles (if anybody bothers to read them) state that I am absolutely not interested in a relationship or even conversation with male admirers. In the early days, when one of them expressed interest, I would send them a politely worded message that spelled this out. Never heard from any of them again. After awhile, I figured out that simply ignoring them worked exactly the same -- no response. So nowadays I just quietly junk-box the unwanted flirts and come-ons, and the world keeps spinning.

On the other hand, I will speak to admirers when I'm out and about IRL; I've even had one or two make mildly physical approaches like holding my hand while we talked, and I sometimes find it endearing and pleasant. But I always let them know I'm not interested in it going any further, and in public, they are usually inhibited from trying to press the issue.

- Diane

[I Am Paula]

In the early days of chat rooms, I belonged to one that was local ie: everyone knew we were in the same city. In my experience, an admirer only wanted sex. The average one suggested meeting right away, showed up with a wedding ring tan, and assured you that his wife was 100% cool with it. He started the conversation with 'I'm not gay, or anything'. It is the 'anything' that is the most worrysome. They all had one thing in common- trying to live out a fantasy that was better left just a fantasy. It was all quite sad.

[pamela7]

Get real. You can hide behind psycho babble and all the old flannel you like, but the end game is the same. We can all say that someone looks great, their presentation fantastic, but to request permission to be one of your official cheerleaders :cheer::cheer: is not the actions of a straight man. Maybe he is straight, but in an exotic way? :facepalm:

Becky

This one reminds me of the film "Misery", where Kathy Bates tells James Caan she's his biggest fan. I've experienced that much and seen the dangers of pedestals of any kind. Accepting gives also a certain power to the admirer. Best to decline altogether. If a person behaves as a friend, then fantastic, otherwise ... no.

[AllieSF]

I see admirers no differently than I see an admirer of GG's. People interested in someone else. Tell me how many men that flirt with women are not thinking about getting in their pants? They know it will never happen but they keep flirting, most in very nice ways, sometimes the GG doesn't even know it. So, yes there are some very crude and even dangerous TG admirers out there, but there are many more straight vanilla guys who admire GG's who are much worse. I.e. Admirers are not all bad people. So, use your best intuition, take all the necessary precautions and then decide what to do. Us members here are not little kids and make all kinds of decisions every day of our lives. So this decision should be no different. My only caution is to not let your uncontrollable enthusiasm and fantasy thinking over rule your common sense side. Good luck.

[Ceera]

I can't say I have had many guys approach me as 'admirers' on-line, because I am a crossdresser. I don't tend to post sexy pics of myself or chat on forums that might be seen as a dating site.

Now before I started cross dressing, I often played a female character in a roleplaying venue or in an on-line virtual world environment. Sometimes that got rather adult-oriented. But at the time I always made it clear that they were dealing with a fictional character, and 'not the real me', and that regardless of what their character and mine mutually agreed to do, all I was willing to commit to on a real-life level was a platonic friendship. That said, I still had a few 'admirers' who would hang around me like a lost puppy dog, and whose persistent, fawning behavior bordered on being stalkers. That was rather creepy. I would be particularly wary of on-line encounters becoming real life ones, since you have so little you can do to validate anything they say about themselves.

Now I often go out to clubs and bars en-femme, and while I haven't been in the habit of doing a lot of overt flirting with either gender, I don't mind it if someone states they admire me, or wants to buy me drinks or chat me up. I've had some very fun evenings with people like that, and it never left the club. I'm single and pansexual, so there have been a few times where I encouraged someone who seemed nice, and one occasion were we left the bar together and went further. But I usually won't take it that far unless we've been chatting all night and I feel very comfortable with their behavior towards me.

If you're 'taken' in any way or if you're not attracted to guys, just make that clear from the beginning. Set your limits, and if they push to break them, leave. They may stil want to spend time interacting with you. I'm sure several of the lesbian girls who have bought me drinks, or invited me to join their groups, or who chatted me up, had no sexual interest in me at all. Yet we still had a fun evening together.

[I Am Paula]

AllieSF- if a cis woman was told on the internet that she had 'an admirer' , all she would hear is 'stalker'.

[Stephanie Julianna]

There are a lot of dogs out there. I think the internet can be a scary place when it comes to meeting others. Especially if you are considering meeting others, especially men, in glam. In the dark ages I used to go to NYC to spend the day in girl mode. I regularly visited Lee's Mardi Gras shop that catered to crossdressers and drag queens. Over time I became friends with Lee and one afternoon, while in a pretty blue georgette spring dress, he introduced me to Sam, a lifelong CD admirer. All I can say is that was the beginning of a 30 year relationship, most as girl and guy, that I would not trade for anything. So if you think you'd like to hook up with a cd admirer, try meeting them in a public place like a club or whatever and find out what they really want. It won't take long to figure out. The right admirer could be a lot of fun and a potential friend.

[docrobbysherry]

Sounds like Allie has experienced what I have re "admirers". None of which have EVER referred to themselves as that! And, Sherry's been hit on by many 100's of guys! And, trans.

Yes. Some r insistant on chatting on Skype or send me dic pics. I just say no. Not because I'm all that offended. (In some ways, I'm flattered!) But, because teasing a guy online does nothing for me and would bore me to death!:sad:
What happens with these guys is when u don't give them what the want, they simply disappear!

I, (not Sherry), was recently hit on by 2 guys at our club. Told them both rite off men do nothing for me! I really don't care if they say they r straight or not. Because it's pretty obvious I'm not a very trans. dresser and have male parts. Just a guy in a dress and they r still interested!:battingeyelashes:

Anyway, both these guys were very insistant on hanging with me and admitted often to being attracted. Both were youngish, very clean cut, sweet, and polite as all get out. I enjoyed finding out about them and where they were coming from. When I'd had enuff, I said so and that was that.

I have found many men r interesting and have enjoyed conversations with them. Once we got by the topic of sex. I'm just not interested in that. If they keep bringing it up, the conversation is over!:heehee:

U can generalize about men and admirers if u like. But, they r all people. They come from very different countries, financial situations, cultures, backgrounds, and place along the road of life from me. I'm chatting with one rite now. A dresser who wants to try masks.:)

The question is NOT what they want from u. It's what do u want from THEM? If u cut them off rite away, you'll never know!:straightface:

[AllieSF]

AllieSF- if a cis woman was told on the internet that she had 'an admirer' , all she would hear is 'stalker'.

I agree that it may be the case for many, Paula. Though I am not sure all GG's would feel that way unless they associated that term also with our side of society, or because someone was hitting on them pretty strong. Admirer to many means that the admirer likes and looks up to what someone else is or has done like a scientists, writer, musician, sports person. Maybe if there was nothing to admire in someone's on line profile or from their words in any communication, then it might sound strange. Either way, in my opinion and experience, a T admirer basically has the same interest as a male suitor to a GG, get to know the other maybe get in a relationship and get intimate, or get intimate without the relationship. Different title/label but underneath a similar intent short or long term. Now, I do think that a T admirer may be more interested in sex sooner and may be looking more short term than long term, but that also happens with the traditional male female courting too. I do not mean to say that all men are like that because I meet many women in both of my modes and I m only looking for friendship and then let the cards fall where they may. If it would ever get more serious, of course, I would change my interest to something more intimate too. The main point is that male admirers of TG's are not bad people as is sometimes stated here, anymore than a straight male interested in a GG. There are bad apples in most barrels, but not all the apples in that barrel are bad, or something like that.

I hope that clarifies it.

[Jenniferathome]

....If we want to be accepted at our own evaluation of ourselves, we really should be willing to accept others at their own evaluation of themselves. -- Don't understand how someone could possibly be straight and attracted to CD? OK. Think of all the people who can't understand how your world makes sense. ...

apples and oranges Jennie. Not understanding why someone cross dresses makes sense. But a self-proclaimed straight man who is attracted to a cross dresser is just lying to themselves. Becky has it right. "Admirer" is really a romantic misnomer that a cross dresser uses. Genetic women do NOT have admirers, ever. The non-romanticized word for that is stalker.

And the the notion of "this is a compliment," it is not. It's objectification. I can see how a cross dresser would want to misread this as such, but switch roles (dude objectifying a woman) and rethink what it means.

[pamela7]

From what I have seen in other threads and discussions, in drag clubs, admirers attend to "attend to the drag queen"; there is a rule of "look but don't touch", a code. I don't pretend to understand but it is clear from the personal stories that these "admirers" would run a mile if sex were mentioned. I can't claim to remotely understand them, but i can't see them as stalkers either.

[tiffanynjcd24]

Do I have to worry about something like that if I come across a male admirer

[JanePeterson]

I would treat any admirer with extra caution until you are sure what their intentions are... (Especially if you are meeting in person) While it hasn't happened to me, girls like us tend to be vulnerable for many reasons especially if we are in the closet, and predatory men can use that as insurance against reporting assault and/or rape... Don't mean to be a downer but it can be a very awful world out there... Stay safe!!

Edit: while this may seem to contradict my initial advice on this topic, that is due to recent revelations/discussions with other girls that have scared the crap out of me, and the assumption that any admirer discussions would be done online and with some level of anonymity.

[tiffanynjcd24]

I would stay away from those type of people if I come across it. One of the reasons it's hard to find a guy because of stuff like that. I still in the closet technically so idk.

I would back away if he turn out to be a creep

[gokatiegirl]

Okay, I will admit that I post on CL looking for other CDs to play with. Guys always reply even though I clearly state no men. I tell them they don't have enough money to have me and they always seem to response "how much is enough" These guys say they are straight but yet I clearly state what I am and what I'm looking for. Very creepy responses "I can't wait till I can stick my hand up that tranny dress of yours" and they send scary photos of themselves. delete, delete, delete...

[Chrissy8888]

It is a slippery slope. Like many of you years ago I used AOL chat rooms. I ended up meeting an admirer and we talked for a long time (as in about a year long). Basically he is fascinated with cross dressers and our lives. We eventually met have become friends. He made no bones about what he would like to do. It was about comfort with both of us. All that being said I too have posted on CL and most everybody who responded was not that nice.

[Mink]

apples and oranges Jennie. Not understanding why someone cross dresses makes sense. But a self-proclaimed straight man who is attracted to a cross dresser is just lying to themselves. Becky has it right. "Admirer" is really a romantic misnomer that a cross dresser uses. Genetic women do NOT have admirers, ever. The non-romanticized word for that is stalker.

And the the notion of "this is a compliment," it is not. It's objectification. I can see how a cross dresser would want to misread this as such, but switch roles (dude objectifying a woman) and rethink what it means.

more to the effect that a crossdresser wants to be a woman / is gay / a pervert etc...

and then you'd say No it's not like that! (oh then you are just lying to yourself!)

get it?

got it!

(good!)

[Acastina]

[I]n my opinion and experience, a T admirer basically has the same interest as a male suitor to a GG, get to know the other maybe get in a relationship and get intimate, or get intimate without the relationship. Different title/label but underneath a similar intent short or long term. Now, I do think that a T admirer may be more interested in sex sooner and may be looking more short term than long term, but that also happens with the traditional male female courting too. ... The main point is that male admirers of TG's are not bad people as is sometimes stated here, anymore than a straight male interested in a GG. There are bad apples in most barrels, but not all the apples in that barrel are bad, or something like that.

I agree. It's a little too black-and-white to me to equate the interest of an "admirer" with the pathology of a stalker. GGs have males interested in them all the time without every one being or becoming obsessed and creepy. The term "admirer" in TG parlance generally denotes a more-or-less straight male who finds CDs and transwomen attractive, often because of our fondness for traditionally feminine attire and grooming in an increasingly unisex culture. It may also be a "safe" way for such males to explore bi-curiosity without just walking into a gay bar and seeing what happens.

Now, that they may want (sooner or later) what usually develops in a mutual male-female attraction (sex) obviously hits some nerves around this forum. It's well to remember that there are all kinds of us here, including many who would welcome such attention from the right person. I view the term benignly; there's a difference between a "gentleman caller" and a dangerous creep.

[heatherdress]

Mirima - If you want to waste your time on line with "admirers", go ahead. Who do you think hangs out on line to become a crossdresser "admirer"?

[Pat]

apples and oranges Jennie. Not understanding why someone cross dresses makes sense. But a self-proclaimed straight man who is attracted to a cross dresser is just lying to themselves.

Again, what do you lose accepting the person's own evaluation of themselves? Why is it important for you to feel you know their heart better than they do? They say they're straight and you have no idea what that means to them so why is it a problem to accept that by their rules they're straight? We have people in this forum that say they routinely crossdress but are not transgender. I've even seen one say they like to dress in women's clothing, wig and makeup but is not a crossdresser. I can't argue against their self-description even though it makes no sense to me. So I just accept that I don't understand and I don't need to understand. Life gets easier when I don't have to run it for everyone else. ;)

[gokatiegirl]

Mirima - If you want to waste your time on line with "admirers", go ahead. Who do you think hangs out on line to become a crossdresser "admirer"?

Enough said. Admirers are perverted creeps.

[NicoleScott]

Some people think crossdressers are perverted creeps. I mean, if you want to paint with a broad brush, you may get painted as well.

[mirima1992]

Well, all the feedback is appreciated! Quite a diverse range of views! Just to satisfy my curiosity I finally sent a reply, just said "always room for more admirers." Based on everything i've read here I have no idea what kind of response, if any, i'll get.

[Sky]

Well, all the feedback is appreciated! Quite a diverse range of views! Just to satisfy my curiosity I finally sent a reply, just said "always room for more admirers." Based on everything i've read here I have no idea what kind of response, if any, i'll get.

"If any" being the magic phrase. :straightface:

A lot of the self described "admirers" just have a blast (you know what kind, right?) texting and posting with cds, tgs and "girls" (and if you heard the old adage about most hot women in the Web being old guys, well, it's true). When it comes to following up, a sizable percentage just vanishes into thin air. But at least you are not looking at meeting any of them -when it comes to that, percentages sink lower than the Great State of Illinois' credit ratings.

[LydiaL]

If I receive a message from a male "admirer" on any website, especially with compliments, I will be polite, respond, and thank them. If a follow-up message is received essentially "when can we hop in bed" they are cut off.

I am interested in friendships with other CD/TGs first and foremost. Not one night stands with every horny male that has come on to me.

[SHY KIM]

I haven't yet had anyone approach me in any way, but if and (hopefully) when it happens, I believe my instincts will tell me to approach with caution. I can only imagine that it must feel pretty nice to draw a mans attention when en femme, sort of icing on the cake after trying very hard to create the fem image.

[docrobbysherry]

I have some experience with them in person. Being hit on maybe 10 times myself by CD's, admirers, and men. I've watching many of my gay/bi, (whatever u choose to call them), T girl friends with their male dates and admirers. Some of these guys may be a little forward. But, by and large most r proper, respectful, gentleman! The jerks I've met/seen were without exception, drunk!:drink:

Sherry has well over 1000 FB Friends. And, I get new requests daily. Most of which I reject, by the way. Most friend requests and current Friends r male. I can't recall any of them being "admirers". They r either CD's, fetish dressers, or men. And clearly, most ALL have some sort of sexual interest in Sherry!:thumbsdn:

This leads me to believe your aggressive, predator, stalker types r mostly online. While most admirers in person r quite the opposite! This is only my experience, of course.:straightface:

[AllieSF]

I echo some of sherry's experience. I have met in person and also on line men who are interested in us ladies. The ones I have met, not dated, in real life have all been nice guys and never labeled themselves as admirers. The on line ones have gone from real creepy to extremely nice, some called themselves admirers and other did not. The term really is a way of identifying those that are interested in us.

As for gokatiegirl's comment, "Enough said. Admirers are perverted creeps.", that can easily be said about all of us, including you Katie, when someone wants to denigrate our existence and label us in a negative way without really trying to understand us and who we are. So, if you would say that "some" are perverts, I would readily agree with you, otherwise, you and others with that opinion are being as narrowed minded as those who don't like anyone trans, from CD to TS. You want acceptance, so please try to be accepting of others TG or not.

[ReineD]

Based on everything i've read here I have no idea what kind of response, if any, i'll get.

You'll likely get a response that will lead to him wanting to have sex with you. That's what Admirers want. They don't want to start dating you, introducing you to their friends, bringing you home to meet mom, or as their date to the company Christmas party. They specifically get off on men who present as women, it's their sexual preference just like a person who is into obese women, or small people, or spanking, or any other number of specific sexual tastes to satisfy a kink.

As to the GG counterpart to having an Admirer? I wouldn't say stalker either. More like f**k-buddy ... someone you see occasionally for sex only, with no interest in expanding the relationship to deeper levels. F**k-buddies are fine, until something better comes along.

But really, none of this matters. If you both are single and you both get off sexually, that's a good thing. A lot of people have casual sex just for the sake of having sex, with no strings attached.

[BillieAnneJean]

I get requests from guys wanting to know if I am in a relationship, if they can have more than a conversation, requests that go from the tame to BDSM. At least once a week I get a message asking for more than just conversation.
I also get requ sets when OUT enfemme. I was sitting in a bar and a guy goes from six stools to five to four to three to one away. Then he starts up a conversation and eventually asks me if he can take me back to his place to tie me up. I have been asked for sex, offered money, had guys buy me drinks. I always let them down gently.
For some these offers would be just what they want. For me, not because my way is better or the right way, for me I am not interested. But for me, my way is the right way,,,,,, for me.
If you are going to go through with something, please do so with extreme protection against STDs. Go in to it with open eyes and LOTS of forethought. And make sure that you control the place, the timing, and what happens. Don't let a fantasy take over your caution. Make sure that you don't end up a statistic.
Oh, and have fun!

[gokatiegirl]

As for gokatiegirl's comment, "Enough said. Admirers are perverted creeps.", that can easily be said about all of us, including you Katie, when someone wants to denigrate our existence and label us in a negative way without really trying to understand us and who we are. So, if you would say that "some" are perverts, I would readily agree with you, otherwise, you and others with that opinion are being as narrowed minded as those who don't like anyone trans, from CD to TS. You want acceptance, so please try to be accepting of others TG or not.

I be the first to admit I am I don't have a clean slate in regards to being a pervert.

But I don't watch tranny porn like MANY admirers do. I hade a really bad experience with a unwelcome admirer that I cannot talk about because it's still an open police investigation. Let's say the sex crime unit is working on it. Use your imagination to figure it out.

People here are making comments here based on opinion. I have facts and personally know of others that also have horrible stories about being followed by these people. Wake up girls!

[AllieSF]

Katie, I am honestly sorry to hear about your bad experience and hope that everything works out well, for you. However, when I see absolute statements like yours and many others here, I believe that it needs to be clarified that not "all" people of whatever orientation, gender, religion or political view are bad. Again, if you had said "some" are perverts, then I could agree with that. As for watching porn, I would guess that as many Trans people watch porn as admirers do. Since we do not have any accurate data on that, who knows the true number? Your opinion is based on your specific experience with how many admirers? One or tow does not then classify all the rest as perverts and bad.

Good luck and take care.

[nikkiwindsor]

I've had both "admirers" through on-line forums and in person. I've liked the attention while clearly communicating that I'm heterosexual and not interested in their advances. Some were what you'd say were creepy and I quickly steered clear. Others were actually very interesting to talk to and remain in touch with me occasionally to talk and express their desires and physical attraction for trans-women.

[Jane G]

I'm happy to chat with people form this forum on the Pm level, but when I get the occasional male admirer I always shut the contact down. as soon as I can. usually by simply not responding.. If I was single that would probably not be the case, there are times when I would love to explore my feminine side, but I've been in a relationship with my wife for 38 years now and I am never going to betray the trust my wife has in me, however fun it might be to explore. The love I have for my wife is very real, the dream I have to explore will never go away , but nether will it replace that love.

[Laura.Taylor]

I reply to almost all emails and message I get from admirers. I thank them for their compliments and politely tell them that I'm not currently dating but thank you so much for the offer. I've only had one guy get angry because "no one ever denies me" (his words exactly). but he eventually went away.

[MarciManseau]

It's probably the 50th time he's said, "no one ever denies me" .

[Amanda M]

Have to say, if your avatar is fairly accurate, what on Earth do you expect? Lets face it, most men use the organ between the legs than the one between the ears when functioning socially.

What has happened, I suspect, is that you have come up against the real dilemma that every GG meets. I want to look attractive, but I do not want to be hit on sometimes.

It is hard to resolve, but please remember that males are stimulated - you should know, you are one - by visual appearance. You may well have to tone things down, just like many GGs have to. That is the price of looking stunning.

[JeanTG]

Lets face it, most men use the organ between the legs than the one between the ears when functioning socially.

Old story. When God created man, He gave us two heads.

Unfortunately, though, he gave us a blood supply only sufficient to run one at a time...

[Alice Torn]

I agree with Lorilea , and Amanda said it so well!! Men go for what looks nice! In my experiences, even last week, the men who answered my personal ads, and saw my pics, unanimously wanted sexual acts done to them, or done to me, and many send pics of their sexual organ, which turns me off. So, i won't meet them. I spell out what i will not do, in my ads!! Some, like 2 different men, last week, sounded ok with my boundries . One got more and more obnoxious, kept asking more and more about what sexual things i would do, though i already made it clear i would not do that! Finally broke it off. One got more and more demanding, and one started calling me bi__h! I had to cut them off! Caution may keep one from meeting anyone, but it can also save one from a tramatic experience and save one's life!

[michellechong]

I received quite a numbers of replies when I posted recently in 2 web-sites (with photos) asking for companionship, almost all of them who replied wanted sex. Some were more direct while a couple of them started with chit-chatting but ended up with the same question "Can we meet and have sex"