Mostly, but not that bad

[mechamoose]

My wife is kind of PO'd at me at the moment.

I have been involved in some intense conversations with Mom. Mom is ok, My relatives? &^Q$.

My girl is hacked off at my family. So am I.

I can't go into why without violating TOS here, but I'm doing what I can.

How do you be yourself while what you are is anathema? I'm not sorry for who I am, but I'm pissed off at my family. Too much space between me being Pagan and them being XTians.

Suck it up and strut it out, I guess. I have not had a single 'muggle' call me out for having 'floufy' hair or pretty nails. I'm *pretty*, damn it.If they didn't accept me before, they sure as hell are not going to now. I hate the narrow minded crap. holy hell, they don't even read their own books.

This season is light and dark. It was my Da's favorite, and my most cynical space. How do I love a season that he loved while it kills me?

Stupid, XY centric, oblivious man. I love you and hate you.


- Melodramatic Moose

(grumble)

[reb.femme]

I think I've got the gist of this, from your telling but not telling.

I came out to my sons last year but not to my three remaining siblings. Mum and Dad went years ago, but they would have been vehemently against what I do. They dropped my middle son, who they loved in all respects allegedly, when he came out as gay. My two brothers laugh at all TG/TS people and don't think the remaining sister is open at all. The painful fact is the only sister that would have been open to me died a few years back from cancer. She was so open to change and the 'out of the ordinary' (tears down face time now), I have no doubt I would have told her. Sickening that the one person I could have gone to is no longer here.

I take it your situation sounds similar to mine but the 'good book' gets in the way of acceptance or even acknowledgement with hell, fire and damnation coming on strong. Overall, my general thoughts toward my family ultimately are, if you don't like it, then *iss off. It would be great to be accepted, but not imperative. Sounds like your own family unit (your SO and kids) is strong and well adjusted.

Becky

[mechamoose]

Thanks, Becky.

My Da's family are 95% 'fundie' people. I'm a Pagan (Wiccan) and so is my local family. Anyone outside my Mom? Not quite pagan.

I'm damned. Even when my father passed 3 years ago, his closest brother wrote him off the same way. He wasn't 'one of them', so he was forsaken.

How do you get over that? You love them because they are family, but then they call you out for being heathen.

Grr. I don't know what to say here that does not involve vulgularity.

That is my aunts & uncles, my Gramma's kids. I can't turn away.. yet they judge me.

The family threads are already falling apart since she died. If I keep the links alive, I need to keep quiet. You should know I'm not good at keeping quiet.

I can't hate them because I love them. I just hate how they think.

- MM

[Robin414]

OMG MM, I'd so love to comment on the topic but I don't want to make work for the moderators! 😉 (I hear yah though!)

[SometimesJen]

MM - I'm so sorry that you have such a challenge being yourself at this time of year, when being in touch with family is so important to many of us.

While my brother & his family aren't as strict in their interpretation as your aunts & uncles, they also see one - and ONLY one - face for their divinity, while I recognize the divinity of all life, both masculine and feminine. We've reached an agreement that we both respect and honor life, whether it follows our path or not. Beyond this, we simply avoid the topic of spirituality to keep the peace and maintain our love for each other. I hope you can find a peaceful accord too.

On the changing of the seasons, remember that the bright time of the year is now upon us (in the northern hemisphere). The Light is returning and the days grow longer. May this bring you more joy and happiness. Bright blessings to you and yours.

[mechamoose]

If they could only wrap it up in the seasons...

SJ: I'm not having a hard time being me, I'm sad that me being me makes them crazy.

My birthday is Dec 17th, Saturnalia. Smack dab in the middle of all this 'festivus' stuff. My wife & partner's Holy Day is New Years Day. (The only one we care about outside of our anniversary)

Merry meet, merry part, and merry meet again.


Can't you just fix it for me, it's gone berserk...
**** i'll give you anything if
You can make the damn thing work

- Amanda Palmer

MODS: I'm about the widest girl here. We can't do much about that without acknowledging the differences. The words matter. The 'rules' matter. I'm not suggesting one over the other, I just wish the differences didn't involve so much snark and anger.

<3

- MM

[pamela7]

i feel your pain MM. Narrow bellief systems, whether racist, religious or indeed "scientific" or "atheistic" are always bad for social acceptance of the infidel/stranger/foreigner to the "tribe". There's nothing we can do, as such, to change those things. I have myself had to deal with "parental alienation syndrome" due to my ex influencing my children - same thing really - and i've helped a number of other parents in similar situations.

What we did that worked, is to continue to be loving and accepting of the others, and eventually they fail to find the fault the "other" says there is, and their belief in the "other" falters, and their love for you, the one that stayed loving to all, is what comes out. Dunno if i'm making sense in these words, but PM me for more.

xxx Pamela

[PaulaQ]

Have you considered not socializing with them during this time of year?

There's no mandate in heaven that says you must take abuse from family.

[Jazzy Jaz]

Thankfully, I was born into a family of heathens. I hope your own acceptance of yourself radiates like a force field and blocks any poisonous arrows from others. We are all special beings.

[mechamoose]

Thankfully, I was born into a family of heathens. I hope your own acceptance of yourself radiates like a force field and blocks any poisonous arrows from others. We are all special beings.

It does, and my Mom (bless her) is the weapons officer.



Have you considered not socializing with them during this time of year?

That is the only time I see them now :( We used to get together EVERY Saturday, to the point where if I see (saw) candlepin bowling on TV I smell hotdogs and beans.

My parents were so wrapped up in family that our weekend always included 'Saturday at Gramma's house', and my Gramma had 12 kids. Those Saturdays were loud and wonderful. I don't have that now :/

- MM

[RADER]

Madame Moose;
Sorry for all your family troubles, they seem to comer out the most
around the Holidays.
My Grandmother always said...." You can chose your friends, but you can not chose your Family"
What she said is so true.
Rader

[Katey888]

Likewise MM, sorry to hear about the stress... :hugs:

While traditionally it is supposed to bring out the bestest, most altruistic and charitable generosity in folk, our modern reality seems to be all a tad more self-centred and materially all-consuming... :(

Of course, you know that if anyone has a problem with you, it's truly their problem, not yours...? :D

Keep Calm & Have Some More Mulled Wine...

Katey x