2 Sides ?

[STACY B]

Maybe just Maybe with all the threads lately there are just 2 sides to this section? Those in Transition and those who want to transition and don't know how? Or are just afraid? Or maybe they really don't have the dysphoria as Bad as others? Who knows.. But for those who want to should just do what everyone else has to do ,, I know,, I know,, But you gotta start somewhere,, Go see a Therapist, There is no way around it, And after that you will see,, Any therapist that has dealt with Transgender people will know what you are,, MEN don't go there to tell a total stranger they want to be a woman!

A real Man would rather get horse whipped than go into a Gender Therapists office and proclaim there womanhood,,,lol,,, You have to tell them everything, And why, Then they send you to another doctor and you have to tell them Why, Then you go and get your hair removed off your face and you tell them Why, Then you grow your hair out and then everyone wants to know Why, Then you go to the Drug store and pick up Hormones With YOUR NAME on them and people will ask you Why,,,,, That's How you start,,

Don't even get the others here started on what comes Next,,lol,,, So don't even sweat all the coming out and telling everyone and making all the announcements proclaiming your new Gender,, They will know,, Sometimes they will even see it before you do.

This is one of those Crazy things that you must go through ALONE, And all the clothes and shoes and dresses and all the pretty bells and whistles won't mean a hill of beans and you will know if this is your true path or not.

Don't freak out when some of the Older chix Dog on you when you come here,, Those folks KNOW whats up. And what your in for,, An in my opinion one of the first things you need to secure is a Job,, Money,, Employment ,,Don't go into this Half ass,, Make sure your finances are secure enough to do it. Last thing you wanna do is lose your Money half way through. And after it's all said and done and you have put in the work to push forward in your transition yull have plenty of time to shop and dress your New Female self,, Outfits are the last thing on the Radar Trust Me.

[Megan G]

Very nicely put Stacy, Some of the newest people in here claiming TS status would be better off if they took some of this advice and applied it to their lives..

They have no idea how rocky this road can get or what their in for...

[debstar]

Noted....?

[MissDanielle]

Noted...

I want to transition and will start all of that after I move in February. In the meantime, I have been seeing a gender therapist since coming to terms in November. I'm also not getting my every two months haircut as well. It's already starting to cover my ears.

[JanePeterson]

Thank you for posting this! I know for some (such as myself) when we realize whatever we have going on goes beyond the CD forum, we just dive in here guns blazing without taking the time to listen and learn - I appreciate the patience and realism from the more experienced members here, and am thankful for your indulgence while I flail around a bit until I find my footing.

Jane

[TinaZ]

This is why I mentioned in my thread I feel like a phony being here. I can check off some of the things on your list (none of which have to do with clothes), but other things on the list seem a billion miles away.

So meantime, as some of us hover somewhere between CD and TS, and some of us delay what might be inevitable, what do we do when we need to connect with others on this site?

Maybe we need a "Tweener" forum?

[Zooey]

Maybe we need a "Tweener" forum?

I'm of two minds on the issue of a "tweener" forum.

On the one hand, recent bursts of posts would indicate that there are potentially way more of you than I would have surmised. I also think that, to the extent that long-term tweeners exist, you may have unique issues that are worth discussing amongst yourselves but which aren't really relevant to (or in some cases are contrary to) the TS experience.

On the other hand, I don't know how many of the people who claim "tweener" status actually identify that way though, versus how many of you are just TS and locked up in a cage made of fear. I tend to believe that there are significantly more of the latter than the former, and I would hate for those people to be and/or feel further isolated from the women here in the TS forum.

Editing to add...

Lots of people come in here confused, questioning, hurting, unsure of their identity, etc. Many of these people self-declare themselves to be "tweeners" upfront, because e.g. they simply can't transition, obviously, usually for reasons that boil down to surmountable fears, a lack of self-confidence in their identity, and often (IMO) an overdose of internalized misogyny.

In all cases, these people will get one form or another of the same response from me.

Therapy, therapy, THERAPY.
Life, life, LIFE.

Please start trying to really figure out who you are - start living your life, a piece at a time, while allowing yourself to be who you feel you are. Yes, in public - real life, not behind-closed-doors fantasy.
Please see somebody who can help you sort out your thoughts and the experiences you accrue while learning to be yourself.

Transition (which is most often what is discussed here) is not the process of figuring out your identity - it is a process that may be necessary after you have figured out your identity.

[Nigella]

OK, lets put another forum to bed shall we?

There will be NO new forum, there is adequate space for everyone to be catered for in either the CD forum or TS forum. People may call themselves "tweener", but if they do not identify as either CD or TS, then they should post where they feel their thoughts are most appropriate. The moderators will then decide if the post/thread is in the right place.

[STACY B]

The real truth is I an lots of others are Tweeners,,, That's isn't a destination ,, You go there just in passing,, You have to get there and get past it to be able to move forward in the whole scheme of this ordeal. We all have been there and that is WHY we are here and Not on the CD side of the Forum.

Like I said you must go through the normal motions just like we all did and do and follow the path of others that have been there and walked the road before you. And some or should I say most have done it and moved on never to return. Some stay around and slowly go away and some stay because of the friendships they have made here.

No matter,, We on this side of the Forum are no Better than the ones on the other side,, Its like comparing apples and oranges for sure,, We as in some of us start there and some don't, For some of us it's a jumping off point to something bigger and others this all stays a Fantasy for ever,, For the ones here we play for real and the other just play and when it's all said and done they go back to Man Land and live Happy ever after,, Our Happy ever after is Womanhood, 24-7 365-- Under any cost for survival ,, Not for Fun,,

This for most if Not all is a Life or Death deal,, And that's why we take it to heart,, We almost Died from this ! This was an itch we can't scratch, We went our whole lives living in the wrong gender with no Help from anyone and if we said something the World said we were Dirty and Crazy and needed to be dealt with in a really Bad Manner. So we don't get a prize or anymore respect for being Trans,, We are just Trans and not CD's and that's that,, Trust me us Trans folk envy the CD's more than you will know,, I WISH I could just spend all my Money on New Outfits and Makeup and be Happy ,, We CAN'T !! LOL,,,,