Made a counseling appointment

[Katrina26cd]

Something I have thought of doing for years I finally got to a point where I had to talk to a professional about it. Im lost about who I am

over the past several months I have been taking on a more female style even when not fully dressed. I have painted my toes for a long time but now I have grown my nails out and have kept them painted except for at work, I am wearing light makeup I have been buying skinny jeans and tighter more feminine shirts I also do not own any pairs of male shoes except for work.

But I have no clue what I am it still seems like it could be transvestic fetishism but the desires are more constant and while they may go away for a very short time for like an hour after sexual gratification it doesn't explain my recent change from more closeted except during rare occassions to being more open in my dressing but still somewhat androgymous.

Do I want to be a woman? I cant answer that but do enjoy feeling like one.
Do I hate being a man? No not at all I like working on cars & working with my hands

[Robin414]

You're not alone Katrina! If you do realize you ARE TG, you can still work on cars 😉

[MissDanielle]

There are women that are tomboys.

[wantstocrossdress]

Depending on what medication the doc would give you, it might 'reset' your hormones and brain. I went to a psychiatrist for depression a few months ago and the first days of the medication really made me feel like a robot - little to no emotions though I somewhat knew what I was doing. I felt better after that with my emotions slowly coming back and me being able to control them. I've been under meds for a total of 3-4 months and in the last month's meeting I finally told my doc that the meds had a side effect of me not wanting to crossdress. Since I started the meds, I've only dressed up once and it felt very forced, awkward, and like it was my first time again. He was not able to comment much since I revealed it towards the end of that meeting. Don't get me wrong, I still think about dressing up, lingerie, stockings, makeup, me dressing up, and I still watch all sorts of p*orn its just that when it comes to the actual dressing up part, I lose interest and can't do it. I still have all my stuff here, I have not yet purged. I've spent so much that it would be a waste and in case the urge to wear them again comes up, they'll be there and I wont have to spend on new ones. Good luck on your appointment, please update us on what happens. :D

[Katey888]

Sounds like speaking to a professional is a good move, Katrina... :)

Just take your time in coming to any conclusions - a good counsellor will allow you to find the path rather than leading and shouldn't hesitate in recommending other specialists if they don't have the right experience to support you (for example - in gender issues).

Good luck with your appointment...

Katey x

[tifftg]

This is a wonderful step to take if you find the right therapist. One who is knowledgeable about the space, comes without an agenda and listens to you in a thoughtful. Best wishes along the way.

[Teresa]

Katrina,
It took me a long time but it's the only way eventually . Go with an open mind and be totally honest with them, it's your life you need to sort, let them as professionals help you.

I thought I was TS but but I'm not , members have different opinions on labels, I just found I needed something to base my CDing on , so I was in a position to explain it to others.
I know where I am now, my wife doesn't want to know which is always going to complicate our relationship.

[Heidi Stevens]

Hey Katrina, just be honest and don't hold anything back. You need to figure things out, so be true to yourself. Good luck!

[Tomara]

Hi Katrina ,

I hope you have a therapist who can help you to find yourself , therapy isn't easy work but in my opinion it's well worth the effort you put into it .

I have worked with a therapist and I can honestly say that I'm happier in my life than I've ever been .

Here's wishing you a happy, healthy and fulfilling 2016

[Sarasometimes]

I see one regularly and she helps immensely but it took a while to find a good one for gender issues. If you don't feel comfortable for whatever reason or they seem uninformed about what you are discussing move on. One clear indicator for of ones that aren't skilled is if they balk at a suggestion of you coming to therapy dressed. YMMV.
Good luck and as others have said be open and honest and if you feel judged move on.

[Katrina26cd]

I specifically looked for one with lgbt experience beca

i dont need anybody that doesnt have experience with what im going through

[Sarah Doepner]

Katrina, your decision is a good one. I've spent years spinning my wheels and earlier this year I started looking for a therapist with experience in counseling Transgender people. I've found it very productive and I've actually made progress for the first time in years, reducing some of of the anxiety I've felt. Something that has helped me has been the journal I started keeping with my questions, observations and feelings related to my transgender nature. Occasionally the therapist will say something in the session that really doesn't make an impact until a day or so later. The journal is a great place to keep that information so I don't forget when I show up for the next session. Good luck.