Told my mum

[AngelaYVR]

Today was the big day, today I told my mum. We've always had a good relationship and as the only one of three sons who lives near her and what with all the emotional turmoil we endured together with dealing my dad and his Alzheimer's, it no longer seemed right to hold back about what is a big part of my life.

In a way it was a lot like telling my wife except we went through most of the roller-coaster in 45 minutes. Within that time it went from anger (I started off with a picture of me, as I didn't know how else to bring it up and she thought I had found another woman :eek:) to disbelief to worry (my cousin transitioned many years ago and she feared that's what I was trying to tell her) to expressing her love and acceptance of what makes me happy. Many questions in between, of course.

She said she'll need some time to process it but overall she is grateful that I chose to tell her. I can't imagine it ever directly affecting her but I'm glad that I told her.

....AND because this is cd.com, the following caveats:
- this is not for everybody and I am not advocating that
- it wasn't a spurious decision to involve her to make myself feel better at her expense
- I put my bra on backwards then spin it round

[AllieSF]

Congratulations and good work. I put my bra on the same way.

[Lauri K]

Congratulations I am sure that took a load off your mind !!

For whatever reason I never put my bra on backwards and spin it, but I am for whatever works to get em on, so I am fine with spinning for those that do (personal choice)

[Dana44]

Congratulations. I put my bar on that way also. Glad it worked out with your mom.

[Julie Denier]

Good for you, Angela! ;)

[Anita Lynn]

Congratulations, I put my bra on backwards and it fit better:straightface:

[Adelaide]

This is great. You'll probably feel like you have a ton of weight less on your shoulders.

[Heidi Stevens]

In a few days, give that understanding mom a big hug from all of us! Congratulations!

[donnaS]

Freaking awesome!

[Pat]

Speaking as a parent, I would SOOOO want my kids to tell me if they had any such thing in their lives. I'm sure your Mom probably feels the same way -- you want to know your kids are finding their way to happiness, whatever that is for them.

I put my bra on backwards, which gets kind of awkward since I like the front-closing kind....

[kittie60]

Congrats on telling your mom. I know it was a hard thing to do but you did and I'm sure everything will turn out ok. Best wishes.
Oh the bra thing, ditto

[MissDanielle]

Congrats xoxo

[bridget thronton]

Sounds like a good mom - hope things become easier as she processes your reveal

[VanTG]

Good For you, not easy but you did it.

Congrats and hoping for the best

[emma-louise]

Good for you hope everything works ou xt

[Katey888]

Well done Angela... :)

As you imply, if it's a big part of your life and you feel strongly enough it should be shared, you are probably right to do it - I'm glad it went well for you... :hugs:

And good to hear about the bra - I never had you down as a spinner, strangely... ;)

Katey x

[Jackie7]

Way to go Angela. I wish I had been able to come out to my mom. But in fact, I did not feel free to come out in the world until after she had passed. Looking back now I am sure she would have been ok with it.

[Sarah-RT]

Congrats Angela!

I think the biggest thing that parents have to "process" is the life they want for you and telling them seems like a spanner in the works. They want a happy son with a wife and kids and a good job, sure that's what I'd like if I have kids someday but when they have had time to process and see it doesn't ruin your life or affect anyone or anything really they can accept it and move on and acknowledge it.

My mom said the same thing, and what you hope for is instant support but give them the time to come to grips, they'll learn it's a non event. I got a Christmas present from my mom for Sarah which I thought was a lovely gesture, and on New Year's Eve she sent me a text saying happy New Years etc and how proud she was of me for going back to college and working simultaneously but also that I have the strength of character to be who I am.

Sarah x

[Marcelle]

Hi Angela,

So glad to read the reveal with your mom went well . . . thanks for sharing.

Cheers

Marcelle

[Meghan4now]

Angela,

That's a big step. What precipitated that descision? Sounds like there is more to tell.

While I think about sharing with family members, I would think my folks would have a hard time with it. No sense in rocking the boat now. Of course both my folks saw photos of me as a pregnant woman for halloween 25 years ago. They were very complimentary and I was happy and proud of myself, but that was Halloween. Although their reaction was pretty good so......

BTW my wife put her bra on backwards, but I prefer to do mine frontward. I'm afraid of damaging it during an agressive spin.

[Mia27]

Wish I had the courage to tell my mom. Way to go!!!:) I'm happy for you!

[Beverley Sims]

It can make life easier if there is a positive response, it has been life changing for some of the more lucky ones.

[jenniferinsf]

Compliments on being v brave....well done. It must be a big relief.

As someone else asked...what prompted the decision?

[AngelaYVR]

Thank you all for the supportive words and kindness. As for the reason - I have a good relationship with my mum and I was the one she always worried about. I thought it would help put her mind at rest (eventually, lol) if she could understand a little more of what makes me tick.

Also, I was being practical. Eventually she might figure it out on her own. I might get hit by the proverbial bus while out and end up on a slab in a skirt. Overall though, I was just being open. But I know what you're thinking and it's not because I'm hurtling towards full time or transitioning. That was never me, I just have a percentage that is more feminine, not 100%. The rest of me likes very much being a guy.

Sometimes you just have to stop talking about how you would like your life to be and put your money where your mouth is. That's what I've done.

[reb.femme]

Great news that you're out to your mum and that the earth hasn't opened up and swallowed you, as a consequence. I'm sure beyond doubt that this took a fantastic amount of courage.

None of my siblings know and can't see that I will ever tell them. My mum and dad would have hated me.

Becky

[Ashley01]

Congratulations Angela! Really good news.

It was a really timely post for me as it's something I'm considering - my SO now knows and is accepting.

I kind of think my mother already knows (but not completely sure), and she'd probably be OK with it - she's pretty cool.

It would be nice to be out to someone else. But I have a good relationship with her and don't want to put it at risk, and I don't really need to tell her. It's a difficult decision.

[AngelaYVR]

Ashley, I didn't really have to tell mine either, but what I do is resolved with me and I feel no shame. Telling her just seemed natural.

[JanePeterson]

Congrats... But be ready for mixed reactions... I told my mom a few weeks ago, and while the initial went ok, our most recent conversation tells me that things aren't as easy or good as I initially thought. I think for some reasons mothers struggle more with this stuff... I sent my mom lots of info on what this all means, and I'm hoping as she learns more she'll become less upset.

[Karen RHT]

Despite your impish sense of humour Angela, you've always struck me as sensitive, intuitive, intelligent, and very reasonable. No doubt you followed both your mind and your heart when you spoke with mom. I have a strong hunch it will work out quite well for you. :)


Well either that, or you'll damn well make it work out. :devil:


Karen

[Michelle123]

My mom always knew, but we never discussed it till around 5 yrs. ago. she was always ok with it. But now, when I visit, I can dress freely with her. And I must say, it is some of the most enjoyable times I have now when I dress. I just wish I could see her more than once a year

[LisaNJCD]

I will always lament not finding the acceptance in myself before she passed. If she were here today I would love nothing better than to be able to tell her!