Name For Inbetweeners

[litangel]

I recently asked for a new board to be created for "In-betweeners' folks who are more than just a CD, but not TS either, folks who don't fully identify as a man or a woman. I was told there would not be a new board, but I could label my posts as specifically for that group. The question is, what term do I use that would clearly identify that group. I like the term genderfluid, but I want to see if that fits for others.

Kimberly

[Barbara Jo]

I always thought that "cross dresser" was for those who felt that they were not transvestites or TS. ....or is it they just think that "cross dresser" gives them more class. than "transvestite"? ;)


Seriously......
There are many shades of grey even for "in-betweeners" and I always thought that CD was indeed the term for "in-betweeners" for the most part .
I do see your point however.

[chris63]

I think the technical term is gender fluid.

[Erica Marie]

Gender fluid, gender neutral or androgynous. I prefer to be a part of that myself.

[Saikotsu]

Genderfluid works.

[Pat]

How about "convertible"? :) (Sorry -- missed out on the take-things-seriously gene.)

[Amy Fakley]

CD++

For all my CS nerd chix ... :-)

[NicoleScott]

Gender non-conforming.

[gokatiegirl]

CD++

For all my CS nerd chix ... :-)

I like that! We must be in the same line of work.

[Pat]

CD++ ? No way! -- CD#

[carrie001]

CD++! That's funny! Love it!

Personally I'm gender fluid or gender queer. :)

[Katey888]

Can we at least be interwebs friendly and try CDML5 ???

Seriously - back to the OP (oooooh - an OP TOTALLY about labels... :eek:)

Kimberly - I think any difficulty will be defining the bounds of any group that is 'in-between', however - the first difficulty I see is you feeling excluded from the term CD, yet CD encompasses many aspects (if not most) of our community. You may have been influenced by the assertions of some here that they are 'just' crossdressers - they merely like 'dressing' in clothes of the opposite gender but in many cases they are also 'femulating': adopting the complete visual appearance of a female. But CDing encompasses transvestic-fetishism, sissies and those expressing aspects of what they feel is their TG nature, and more, so is already quite a broad church.

Genderfluid I think also encompasses some variation - as wiki defines it:

A person who is genderfluid prefers to remain flexible about their gender identity rather than committing to a single gender.[15] They may fluctuate between genders or express multiple genders at the same time.

If that fits what you're thinking of, I'd suggest staying with definitions that are generally accepted. :)

If it doesn't, we might have a bigger debate on our hands again... :facepalm:

Katey x

[sometimes_miss]

A rose by any other name........ On any given day, some of us will be at one point on the gender bell curve, then the next day, at another. That's why the TG umbrella sort of covers everything. If anyone asks, simply elaborate on how you're feeling that day.

[Tina_gm]

CDer still works most of the time, since that is still what we are doing... unless you feel neither cross dressed male or female. Really it is up to you as to how you wish to consider yourself, or how you identify yourself. You could call yourself a tweener. I feel a lot the way you describe as well. Although TBH, I would say that I am both male and female internally. I guess I am a bother.... uh er both-er heheheehhe

[Heidi Stevens]

I agree with you Katey, there is a wide variety of reasons on why one is not just a cross dresser but not a full blown transsexual. I'm in that group. I know I'm a female after therapy and self acceptance. But I still love my wife. To stay with her, she has demanded I present as a male. So I've had just enough HRT to give me internal peace and still pass as a male.
So I would say I'm transitioning, but I'm on hold for now. Would that make me a tweener? Take her out of the picture and I'd commit to finishing the journey. So I am not gender fluid, one thing is keeping me on hold. I think I know why the Mods decided not to break out a new forum.

[Dana44]

I agree genderfluid works. Many of us are C++ and genderfluid.

[AngelaYVR]

Seems a bit of a non-starter as I'd say that 90% of the posts in the main forum encompass that outlook anyway. People can just skip any thread that doesn't interest them.

[Rachael Leigh]

Kim yes I agree that term fits at least for me it does, I'm one who recently figure that's where I fit is gender fluid and while it's confusing at times it works for me
Leigh

[Kate Simmons]

Maybe "Midwayers" ? :battingeyelashes::)

[StephanieinSecret]

Gender non-conforming.

This is a bit PC but the most accurate term, I think. I use it myself.
What's the difference between CD and TV anyway?

[Jane G]

Funniest thread in ages. Hope the op is fine with that as clearly a heartfelt question. Any ways I was once very much a C++ kinda girl. But as I have aged and accepted who I am. I have mellowed into more pascal shades and become more BASIC. cd.

[Jazzy Jaz]

I am definately an inbetweener but I dont identify as genderfluid because my gender mixture is not fluid and does not fluctuate, it is fixed.

[Barbara Jo]

I have to agree with what Shakespeare said about that rose. :)

[AllieSF]

I actually like that controversial term "Tweeners". It fits perfectly and is not patented nor copyrighted for the youngsters. One of my best friends calls me a CD+++. See I can one up the rest you CD++'s! Use what you want, tell the responders to stay away from label wars and discuss what you want. I like serious conversations too and these would be good ones for us. Good luck and make sure to wear your bullet proof vest when you start a "Tweener" thread.

[Robin414]

In India I've heard we're refered to as 'twin spirited' and actually held in high regard ☺

I love you...pizza...'n beer...'n waterproof mascara ��

255717

[Tracii G]

Call it the 50/50 club.
No matter what is done its proof again no one can agree on anything anymore.
You have a private trans sexual area, private FTM section private GG only section etc so why not a 50/50 section so we can chat about stuff that affects us and not have to wade thru all the stay at home types ridiculing us and injecting there negativity on us
Seems like a good idea.

P.S. I don't doubt a crap storm is coming my way so go ahead dump on me like always

[Zooey]

I have mixed feelings about it, but just FYI...

It's come up on the TS side of the board a few times recently, and the message from the mods there has been that there will be no new forum created.


You have a private trans sexual area, private FTM section private GG only section etc so why not a 50/50 section so we can chat about stuff that affects us and not have to wade thru all the stay at home types ridiculing us and injecting there negativity on us

You know it's funny, but some of us in the TS forum understand exactly how you feel (admittedly with some circumstantial differences).

[donnalee]

Perhaps "CD +P+"?

[Stephanie47]

If I have to figure out another box to check to identify who I am I think I'll scream. I'm trying to figure out from all the comments just what the heck someone is trying to categorize. A lot of the comments I see on this forum from any given person at any given time seem to reflex what side of the bed they fell out in the morning.

Before trying to establish a new section what are you trying to convey? Where are you going to draw the line in the sand? I fill out many surveys to get "rewards points" which ask me to rate something from 1 through 10 and N/A. What topics would you designate for or applicable for "gender fluid" men or women>

[Tracii G]

I have no idea but the whole label thing drives me crazy too.
There are some here that don't fall in any category so lines in the sand would be hard to delineate.
The people in between or tweeners as its been called or as I call it 50/50's when post we get negative responses from the closet CDer's and I don't know if they either don't get what we do or find us that are in between some sort of blasphemy to the CD world ie: man in a dress analogy if you will.
I'm androgynous more than anything and a mix of both genders and I'm out about it in public and on here.
Some of us try to post positive insights in our experiences only to get hammered for saying yes you can go out and live your life its OK to be who you are.
Sometimes I want to post something but do not because I know all I will get is negative responses like OMG you shouldn't have done that or Oh I could never do that and then list why I was wrong.
It would be nice to have a section where some of us could share our experiences without having to hear reasons why we shouldn't have.
All we are doing is just expressing ourselves the way we choose.
I'm OK with the closet girls really and I don't mind what they do it's their choice.
Thats it for now.

[litangel]

I think has been a lively discussion with some depth. After hearing responses, I think I will designate some posts, (for gender fluid/gender non-conforming) I appreciate everyone's path. But the folks I want to get to know better, and who are good mirrors for me are the in-betweeners.

[Teresa]

Kimberly,
I do feel we need labels to explain our CDing to outsiders, it is confusing to most people, I now tell people I'm TG, some will still think it's the same as TS, gender fluid is a good description as long as you know what it means but many don't !
Crossdresser/transvestite to outsiders conjours up men prancing about in sissy style clothes, dressing to pass suggests we are drag queens !
The media just doesn't help us with this situation they have stereotyped images which depict us as gay men dressed as women with a following of camp guys .

The problem with extra sections is they are under used, the GM section struggles sometimes with new input.
The problem I find is wanting to say something to members only and not on the open MTF section, I've used Loved Ones if suitable but some threads have been rejected, then I have a problem finding a suitable section to talk to members only.
It's very easy to forget that MTF is an open forum seen by anyone who drops in, MODS may intervene if you've possibly said too much but by then it may be too late !

[Krisi]

All the threads complaining about "labels" and now we have a request for an additional one?

If anyone thinks there should be a new label for a group of people, it needs to be one that's in use by the general public. Assigning labels within this forum would only work if it didn't accept new members.

If anyone has been around a while and paid attention, you would realize that many of the posters here don't fit nicely into a particular category. They overlap. And many seem to be in a state of transition or uncertainty.

[mykell]

middlesex work for anyone ?? i now use gender fluid.....

[Sara Jessica]

Gender fluid doesn't work for me. I bounce between the binary. I don't present in such a way to conflate the two extremes.

I'm surprised that we are this deep into the discussion and no one has mentioned middle path.

My understanding of this term is that it was intended to describe someone who identifies as a CD'er who has a significant social presence as a female (being out & about, having friends, etc). I think this describes many in these pages.

Taking it a step further, I kind of co-opted the term to describe myself, someone who identifies as TS but has not yet and/or will not transition to full time, yet also has the above referenced significant social presence as a female. I think this too describes a few more of us.

My understanding of where middle path originated, there may be some out there who might take exception to my co-opted version but no harm or offense was ever intended on my part. It seemed to describe what I am going through.

A word about labels. As human beings, we categorize what we encounter in this wonderful world of ours whether we do it consciously or not. Others have done this to me. Acquaintances have accused me of both being a CD'er and of being a full time TS. Technically both were wrong, I'm somewhere in between. But it illustrates that this is simply something human beings do and in an effort to understand ourselves for the sake of honesty about one's personal narrative as well as a means to describe our unique POV to others should the opportunity arise, then having an accurate label is not an inherently bad thing.

Finally, about Tweeners. I remember smiling when I first read this used in a thread and totally got the meaning. There was some surprising backlash from some who seem to think the term is copyrighted for use only by pre-adolescent girls. Although some may behave that way at times, I wouldn't accuse any of us of being a pre-adolescent female and certainly wouldn't confuse the term in our context. While I'm not likely to use it for myself, I actually think it is kind of cute and wouldn't begrudge anyone from adopting it as a term of art for their own situation.

[nikki2014]

CD++

For all my CS nerd chix ... :-)

Hahahahahaha I get it!!! Hahahahaha!!! Recently completed the C++ class (although I retained nothing) But I do get your joke. Hahahahahaha!!! Nikki

[Krisi]

OK, if we must: "Crossexuals"

[Tracii G]

Krisi I'm not saying add another label to anything just suggesting a private area where some of us can discuss things pertinent to us without getting picked apart by others.
Its about gender not sex Krisi.
The division here is mind blowing.
I see why so many get frustrated and leave.

[Sky]

C++ is a programming language, right? (that answer dates me :sad:)

[sometimes_miss]

Every time you create a new label, there will be some who are also just a bit on both sides of THAT label, necessitating ANOTHER TWO labels. Eventually you'll have a dozen labels, and the public can't even deal with what they have now. What it comes down to, is being prepared to explain to another person what you do, why you do what you do and why you feel the way you do, and how it relates to THEM, because the last is the most important thing that they want to know. Tell someone you're a crossdresser, they will want to know if you're gay, if you are a transsexual, and perhaps other things as well. Wanting to avoid discussing any of that by being able to hand someone your 'label' and basically implying that they should know what it is, and what all the potential implications of it are, is burdening them with your responsibility.
If you don't know any of that or aren't sure, you had better be ready to explain that to them, as well.
And, I've left the most important thing for last, whenever you admit to others that you engage in any gender/sexual behavior or thoughts that aren't absolutely, perfectly straight, be prepared for them to consider you some sort of deviant who they believe could be potentially dangerous to their children. Of course we are not; but the general public still believes this, so it will be something that will have to be discussed and their worries addressed.

None of this will be accomplished by creating a new label.

[flatlander_48]

Anyway, for purposes of this discussion, gender fluid does not describe me. No problem with the term, but it just doesn't apply. I view my gender identity as essentially fixed and is somewhat more male than female. The female part is not of sufficient magnitude that would make transition a priority.

In recent times I have described myself as transgender and quickly followed with an explanation to those outside of this community.

DeeAnn

[Lorileah]

Call it the 50/50 club.
No matter what is done its proof again no one can agree on anything anymore.
You have a private trans sexual area, private FTM section private GG only section etc so why not a 50/50 section so we can chat about stuff that affects us and not have to wade thru all the stay at home types ridiculing us and injecting there negativity on us
Seems like a good idea.

P.S. I don't doubt a crap storm is coming my way so go ahead dump on me like always


I bet you were the kid who asked mom and then did it anyway.

OK, remember there are some lines here. Questioning Admin's ruling, definite No No. Complaining about such...No No. Whining about it gets time out and no pudding.

The point was (has) been made that all you who feel somehow your ox was gored want a new sand box of your own....where you would? Throw sand at each other? The idea of this forum is to allow ALL parts of the gender spectrum. If any were around 5 years ago you would see why the specific sections for FtM, Safe Harbor, GM, GG were made. Too many flame wars and those people were getting burned. I don't see the "Tweeners" as really needing a place they can go and discuss... what?

As Mod of MtF (with my two cohorts and the Admins) we sort of let you run loose here. It is the area of the forum that accepts EVERYONE to comment or rant or share what color your panties are.

Bottom line here kids, the ruling was set. You don't get a new playroom. So that is like being in a court of law, you went to the highest, it's over. Labeling threads asking for opinions from gender fluid or androgynous or what ever, is allowed and we will try and police that but unless you tell us the perimeters we can't do it. That is spelled out in the RULEZ. So have fun, call yourself whatever. Stay away from questioning or complaining about the ruling

(NB even the OP was stepping really really close to the line)

[Sandra]

Fed up of people moaning about the decision made on this forum if you're not happy then go elsewhere.

Thread closed.