Not there but started?

[grouser]

I truly enjoy wearing bras, panties, pantyhose, etc, and do wear them under my "man clothes" whenever I get the chance. (Wife doesn't approve, at all!) Don't have a real good outlet for female clothes and absolutely can't get caught with them again ( do have some of my stash left)! My question, if I was living alone, I know I would be wearing blouses, slacks, dresses, skirts, etc; not really in public, but definitely in private. Is this considered crossdressing, transgendered or transexual? I was reading the post about driving and given the chance, I know I could. Got a couple days away from the family planned and looking forward to wearing, at least, my undies, non-stop. Always worry about the "Having an accident" but really plan on letting go. Anyone else worry like I do? Thanks for all the support!

[Butterfly Bill]

A transsexual is someone who has had or intends to have the operation and turn into a woman physically.
A transgendered is someonr who dresses and lives as a woman all the time, but does not want physical alteration.
Anyone who dresses in attire normally intended for the sex opposite to the one they were born into is a crossdresser, and this can include the aforementioned two as well as people who present themselves as males some or all of the time.

(Some might say that a transsexual who dresses in feminine attire is no longer a crossdresser because she is now a woman. It would be crossdressing for that person to dress masculine.)

[Dragster]

Can't understand why no-one's answered your question already, Grouser. You're a crossdresser, like me. A "Transexual" is one who considers themselves to be the opposite gender to the body they were born with, and has either started or completed a sex change. I guess "Transgendered" is a generic term which covers the whole spectrum from pantie wearers to full transexuals.
But who cares about a label anyway. Just be who you want to be, and do what you want to do, provided that it affects no-one else. I'm married to a non supportive wife, who I love to bits, and have done for almost 40 years, but she "doesn't want to know" about my CD desires. Since I found this forum, I decided to have a last go at finding some common ground with her, so we didn't have any secrets between us, but it's a very slow process. Good job I'm a patient "chap", but maybe that's a feminine trait coming out!

Tony

[nancy58]

The other girls have answered your question, but I smell trouble down the road. I don't know how you can do it, but you need to work out an understanding with your wife that this is something you need to do. If you can, look into counseling, first for you, and then for you both. Read all you can, and when you're ready to talk with her, share with her some of what you've read.

Good luck!
Nancy

[HaleyPink2000]

Dragster!
If you drive that rail, not to many people are like you! LOL

Haley:)

[ronda]

we all worrie a little about things that mite happen but that does not stop us from doing what we do. i will cross that bridge when i get to it so worrieing is not for me. life is to short not to have fun:D

[Liberty]

Hi Grouser,
I'll do my best to comment on some of your questions. First of all, "Yes" you are a crossdresser, nothing to be ashamed of but rather priviledged to side step commonality and enjoy something that is just simply clothes. Be proud of yourself for staring society's taboo in the face and doing what feels right for yourself, no harm to no one. It takes balls to buck the system and in reality its honorable to whatever extent you practice it.

Recently also I have been giving much thought to the separating issues regarding gender and think I'm onto something.

1. There is the "Biological Function" between our legs that causes society to pidgeon hole us into what we should like. Whether it be Pink Barbie Dolls and Low Rise Jeans, or Cap Guns and Suits W/Tie.. Sad state of affairs for the human race. This practice causes gender conflict, restriction of self expression.

2. There is Gender. This is not an absolute like the biological function. Gender is extremely variable, changes constantly and I think its how you feel inside about yourself. Try closing your eyes and with your arms by your side it's hard to determine whether you are a biological male or female, you can only then rely on Gender.

3. There is Sexual Preference. This is the one that causes all the taboo, guilt, and problems. This decision can be influenced by the two listed above but doesn't have to be. It is a decision. I don't think we can choose a Gender or Biological Function, those seem to just "be"....

I gave my ex a copy of the book "My Husband Wears My Clothes", I don't think she ever read it, but I did, and it seemed pretty good. oh well.. you may want to try to let a book explain it to your wife if she has strong negative concerns.

As far as getting in an accident goes, the clothes you have on will be the last of everybodies worries. Please be safe. Be yourself. Don't let labels control or guide you. Just be you. I hope my views help a bit...

[Anita Mae GG]

You are a crossdresser! BUT you need to try and talk to your wife. Otherwise you will have a very unhappy life....at least I believe that....you will never truly be able to be yourself if you can't try and come to some sort of agreement. Having to stifle a part of yourself will make you miserable.

[Dragster]

Tammy Marrie GG,
I've kept this side of me hidden from my wife for the 36 years we've been married (I did tell her 20 years ago, but she didn't want to know then), and I'm not miserable. I could, of course, be a lot happier if we had come to an agreement, which is why, after joinng this forum and listening to advice, I've tried to open a dialogue with her again, using "My Husband Betty" as a discussion document. Unfortunately, she's been promising to read the first 4 chapters since last May, and is only on page 40 or so. It's very slow going!

One of the things I like best about here are the GG points of view. It's really illuminating to hear the wife's viewpoints. Long may it continue!

Tony

[Dragster]

HaleyPink2000,
No. I don't drive dragsters, but I do have a V8 Cobra replica which gets an airing whenever the roads are dry and salt-free (not often in the UK this time of year).
That rail in the picture was driven, very successfully, by a woman, Shirley Muldowney, in the 70's I think. So as my avatar, it brings together my enthusiasm for drag (the CD type!), fast cars, driving, and the female in me! Thought is was quite ironic and appropriate. It also avoided a femme name, which might freak out my wife before she's ready for it, if I ever get her on to this site!

My story anyway.

Tony

[Phillis]

You are considered a transvestite if all you do is dress in femmine clothing. I hope this will answer your question. I am in the same situation that you are in. I enjoy wearing femmine clothing, but do not have the courage to go out in public dresses. I do wear panties, pantyhose and a bra under my male clothing though when I do go out.

[DonnaT]

No wonder the public doesn't understand the labels and definitions. I'm going to discuss M2F below. F2M is similar only the clothing, birth gender and gender identity is different.

Transgender covers the whole spectrum between CD and TS.

Crossdresser is anyone donning the attire of their opposite birth sex. That could simply be panties, or shoes or pantyhose, etc. Not all crossdressers are transgendered, some are simply fetishists, some haven't been able to determine the difference. Me, I know I am a Cd that is transgendered.

A transgenderist is one that knows they are still men, but dress most of their time enfemme or possibly live their lives as women. They generally differ from TS mainly in the knowledge they are not women.

A transsexual is one who usually believes they are a woman. They do not all believe they are women born in a man's body. One does not have to have surgery or even desire surgery to be a transsexual. Accordingly, there are non-op TSs, pre-op TSs and post-op TSs. TSs usually live their life as the gender the identify as.

So, according to the foregoing, grouser, you are a Crossdresser.