lost

[Amy1980]

I need advice. i am in a state of depression. I know who i am but am suronded by lies and hate. i have 20 paths to take in life and i dont know which path to take. i know what i need to do and i know what makes me happy then theres what pepole are expecting me to do. its becoming to much for me to handel. im tired of living a lie and im tired of makeing everyone else happy but me. i find that there is a easier way out. but dont want to think about that. anyone else feel like this. is there like a hotline or something that would help. how do you guys deal with these feelings.

[Stephanie Sometimes]

Hang in there honey, life can be a bitch sometimes and you have to work through it. Changing one's situation can be really difficult so it is always good to talk to someone to share your thoughts. Here are some suggestions:
http://www.translifeline.org/
http://www.glbthotline.org/
http://www.itgetsbetter.org/pages/get-help/?gclid=CKCQ44eenMoCFchffgodkCgEdA

Sending you a big virtual hug over the internet,
Stephanie

[Marcelle]

Hi Amy,

Yes this can be very confusing and emotionally crippling as many can attest here. However, what you are contemplating is not the solution so please call someone even if it is just a hotline to talk and center yourself. Once things are a bit clearer . . . Is there a local TG support group you can attend to help bring a bit more clarity? Finally, you need to seek out someone who specializes in gender identity issues to discuss all these feelings with. We can provide advice based on personal experience but it is done from a position of just that . . . personal experience and what may have worked for me, may not be the same for you. We can provide support or just a sounding board if you need to vent emotion and that can be a good thing but a trained professional can help bring order to chaos. From my own personal experience a trained therapist helped me immensely a few years back when I reached that same dark point.

Hang in there and don't be afraid to reach out here on the forum until you can find someone local to talk to . . . you are not alone. :)

Marcelle

[Amy1980]

ty for those websites. i will be calling them.

[Badtranny]

Let go of the act.

Find a friend that will understand and start a new life one tiny step at a time.

You think you know who you are, but you won't really know until you start peeling back the layers of shame.

[Amy1980]

i apreciate the input. and if theres any advice i would defeintly listen as i am really lost on what to do with my life. i have so many options but dont know whats right. i know i am living a lie. i know i am in a state of depression. the only things that bring smile to my face is the tought of transitioning or even just being myself for a moment. i get to be myself only when i get to travel away from home which is not ofthen. from the moment i relized it was possibel to take steps to be me i was happy. but then real life hit me. i was forced back to my home town. going on a year jobless and relying on my parents for suport. except it kills me to be so silent as there constant anti gay and hatred comments makes it imposibel to be myself. i live in a very small town in the country of oklahoma. there are no resources. everyone has the backwoods ideology. my whole life i been doing what others want me to do and not what i want to. i want to become homeless just to get out of oklahoma. i have only 3 friends in my life and two would disown me if they knew the truth. me and my family have never been close. the three relationships i been in all three cheeted on me and never was any suport to me. i do have a son that i get to see a few times a year. he is the only thing that holds me to this world. i feel i would be awsome in hollywood as i been acting like a diffrent person my whole life. i will be happy if i would stop putiing this costume every day.

[Rachel Smith]

Follow the 3 t's Amy. Therapy, therapy, therapy, that's what most of us here have done.