Jealous

[carrie2014]

Hi Ladies

I was wondering if anyone has gotten this feeling when they dress. About three monthes ago I was out shopping (male) and I found a long sleeve blouse in maroon and white. Had to have it and it was even on sale. tried it on with black skirt black stockings and black boots. It looked great. My wife said it was beauiful and wished it was her size. I said to myself this kind of blouse is not the kind of thing she would wear. She is mostly tee shirts and sweatshirts. A couple of days later I was dressed and she said how pretty I looked. She has never been against me dressing up but has never said that I look pretty. In the next sentence she said Oh by the way I got some new clothes on line today I said ok. about a week later the clothes arrive and she opens the package and washes all the new items. She hangs them on the drying rack in the laundry room and never trys them on to see if they fit or even wears them. Again not the type of clothes she wears. She could wear them any where she goes not to over fancy. two weeks ago I ask her if we can stop at the drug store because I needed some make up. She sees me buying some items and she buys powder lipstick and some foundation. I have been married to her for 30 years and the only time she wore any make up is at our wedding. Home we go and she puts the items she purchased in the top draw in our bathroom cabinet. Never uses any of the items. The other night I am reading on line and I said to myself I wonder if she feels that I any prettier then she is when I dress. Do any of you ever get this feeling? Bye the way when I asked her to go out shopping a long time ago when I am dressed and she said no!

[donnaS]

Absolutely she does.
My ex-wife confessed that after we divorced.
She had no problem with me dressing full makeup and wig.
After some financial problems and counseling, she tried to control my dressing after being told by the counselor that she could never have control of the financial issues anymore.
After this she confessed she was embarrassed and jealous of how I looked dressed.
I 100% believe they feel self conscious about that issue.

[Joni T]

Yep,
Heard the same thing from my ex.
Jon

[Lorileah]

yeah...go with she thinks you are prettier than she is...It's probably nothing about her getting ready to go out on her own. After all, so many CDs are prettier than their wives, happens all the time. :facepalm:

I would suggest that maybe it's time you really talked about why she has changed so suddenly. She probably has something she wants to say and who knows, maybe it will be that she has decided to try and look"as good as you do"

[heatherdress]

I frequently purchase similar items for my wife, or at least offer to buy her something for her, if I purchase something. It seems to prevent her from feeling left out, or that I am placing my crossdressing before her. It's not a jealousy concern as much as a priority issue. I find myself consciously trying to assure her how important she is to me, regardless of what I am wearing.

[Lauri K]

I agree with what everyone here is saying, I can go buy a pair of heels and the wife will comment how pretty they are ect., then she will ask me if I got her the same ones in her size.

Of course I have a WTF look on my face for minute, then I usually say well I looked but they did not have them in your size and then she say well what size were looking at for me and I will say size 8 and then she will say ok well I will check in a few days to see if they have them in stock again.

So long story short here, shopping / dressing has become a competitive sport around here on who can shop / dress the best. Fortunately I think it has about ran it's course. I have even told her that this is not a competition. I tell her you are welcome to buy anything you want to wear, but don't go buy the same item just because I did.

Got to love her for hanging around this long, it has lasted longer than I figured it would given all the bombs I have dropped on her.

I am always preparing my mind for the day she says to me that she has had it with Lauri and she is done, but hopefully that day never comes.....time will tell

[laurenp245]

Carrie, it sounds to me like she is just attempting to participate in your shopping adventures with you. Maybe it's one of her ways of showing her support, shopping alongside you? I (thankfully) have a supportive wife also, and I know the few times we went shopping for femme garb together we both picked out stuff we liked and purchased them together like you two did, seems fairly normal to me. I'd liken it to two girlfriends going shopping, rarely will you see one of them leave the store empty handed, that's part of the shopping experience!

Reading your post, I don't read jealousy in your wife's actions, I'd argue that she's more so having a "keeping up with the Jones's" type reaction. You're getting new clothes, she feels like she needs to get some. You are getting new makeup, she feels like she needs to get some new makeup. Even if she never uses the makeup or wears the clothes, it seems like an attempt to keep par. It's a completely normal reaction to being around someone who is excited and passionate about what they are doing, it lifts you up and motivates you... all good stuff!

Maybe try and get her some stuff next time you go shopping solo? If you find something that you think would look good on her buy it for her and surprise her? Little actions like this help reassure our SO's that we have not forgotten about them, and that we haven't gone completely over the pink edge. Just my two cents.

<3 Lauren

[TanyaR]

From a GG/wife of a CD:
Please don't ever say to her you think she is jealous. From my standpoint it's more about trying to be a part of the CD side of my hubby's life and sometimes for me it's about - well if you're spending money on clothes and makeup, why should I not do the same thing.
For those here talking about how their ex-wives said something about them admitting to them looking better, is there really something wrong with that? Your ex-wives should have never felt that way. If my love ever acted or said she was prettier than me I'd be so disappointed. Whether male or female mode they should make me feel like the most beautiful person in the room. Which my love always dose. Just my two cents.

[donnaS]

Tanya
The truth comes out in a divorce.
I never meant for my ex-wife to feel that way. I stuck with her thru 6yrs of drug abuse. Cried my self asleep when I couldn't do anymore. Spent my life savings to get her out of trouble.
I figured that was all she had left to control, me being Donna. She led me to believe no other woman would accept for who I am but her. That's not true. I remarried and my wife participates, she found out after we married.
So my ex was trying anything to hold on to me. She helped me 200% be female. Makeup,dresses and the works. Intimacy with her while I was dressed was no problem.
During the divorce is when I learned how embarrassed she was of me and how all this must come to a halt. Really? After I have stuck by her all these years.
She was very jealous over anything with me. Accused me of sleeping with every female I came in contact with. Whats so funny is, the truth finally comes out. And nothing she accused me of has come true. All boils down to her insecurity and jealousy. Never did,never tried to make her feel that way. And after all was said and done, she still wants me back. She was also bi sexual. And she picked girlfriends in the past that looked better than her and where younger.
I'm sorry, but jealousy plays a lot into the
Transgender marriage.

[carrie2014]

Thank you all for your in put now I have to work on my wife treating skills. From many points of view from some of you I feel lucky that she is ok with Carrie maybe if I put on a few lbs we can where the same sizes in clothes. I would never say it to her but she has real bad taste in clothes. Maybe she will learn a little from me. Now I have to look at all the input again and try to figure out what will make her part of Carries life. wifes can sometimes be hard to understand. what goes throught their mind is different from couple to couple, If the world was perfect after and you could come out to your SO or wife the it would cut down on divorce by 25%. Thanks again for all the input.

[TanyaR]

DonnaS-
Sounds like you went through a lot with your ex.
I just don't think that is always the case though.
Do I think my Love is beautiful when enfemme, YES! Do I want her to tell me I'm beautiful- heck yes! One note here though: I make sure I'm confident in ME before I expect my love to think so. There is not a jealousy thing going on, just me needing to know my love still likes the way I look - no matter what mode they are in. I guess my point to Carrie was to not let her SO feel like she's acting jealous. We all cope with this in different ways, but I'm pretty confident that no SO wants to feel "less of a woman" than their CD partner.
I see your from the wonderful state of Alabama. Small world. 😳

[Nashmau]

well i wouldnt say per se jelousy. (gg here)

i basicly have a deal with my husband. i hate clothshopping and dont see the point in having a room full of them, i never wear that anyway. aka wasted money in my eyes...anyway, i was getting slightly pissed that he spends money on himself, but never on me. so our deal is, what ever he spends on clothes, for the same amount he has to buy me videogames :D that way we both get what we are interested in and we dont get into a competition. on the plusside, since he thinks videogame is a waste of money he thinks now twice before spending to much on clothes ^^

it might be something like this, just get her something that is of interest to her (i am sure you know her hobbies etc), that way you show her, you thought about her and not only about you. just make sure its an actual interest of her, if she isnt interested in clothes and you get her clothes, basicly tells her you have no idea what she likes.

[bridget thronton]

May be she is trying to participate in your "hobby"

[Jackie7]

Yes, as Bridget suggests, maybe she is just looking for a little encouragement from you. You could have bought her a copy of that maroon and white blouse in her size. And why not tease her into trying on her new clothes and model them for you? Maybe you could help her look as good as she might secretly want?

I am pretty good at spotting outfits that would look good on both of us and when both our sizes are there on the sale rack, I buy both. We have a lot of fun going to parties in twinsies, I guess we have a couple dozen twinsie outfits. more often these days, though, we dress in similar and complementary but not identical outfits. We might each wear our best LBD, she with pearls and me with gold.

And you know what? She is the Real Deal, the GG, and she is always beautiful. No matter how good I manage to look, I will always be a gravel-voiced man in a dress. Well so what, we both have fun with it. Even if you don't get up to going out together, you might be able to introduce a fashion evening at home, open a bottle of wine and goof around together with those unworn clothes and accessories and unused makeup. She sounds like a sport, maybe you could jolly her into it. And however deep you go in your pink fog, don't ever forget to compliment her lavishly.

[leannejacobs]

I have had the same problem, I did dress in front of my wife for a while but she made it very obvious that she was jealous of my presentation, I'm very tall and not what you'd class as passable, that said I am proportioned and have a nice shapely leg in heels, I love my wife and don't want to make her uncomfortable, I no longer dress with her 😐

[Tracii G]

My last Ex I never dressed in front but she knows now after I showed her a pic and she said wow you make a very attractive woman.
Maybe if you had dressed in front of me I might have been a bit jealous then laughed about what she had said.

[rileycattus]

So, I was slightly off-put when I first realized how sad my own bra/panty collection was compared to my SO's. I gushed over one of her dresses - it doesn't help that she's a size smaller than me. But my SO sensed this, bought me the dress in my size and took me out to show me off and let me know that I can look good as well. Now, we sometimes shop for lingerie online for myself while she's dressed.
I don't know what your relationship is like and I can only speak from my own point of view. But I can say that I like that my SO tries to make me feel as sexy as she does. In doing so, I don't feel jealous of her purchases. We have different tastes (aside from that dress, which would make anyone feel sexy) so I don't really feel cheated in any way. But I like the fact that she includes me in trying to keep us happy in terms of clothing. Maybe it would also be helpful for you to include each other during purchasing decisions? Just a suggestion...
Riley

[sometimes_miss]

yeah...go with she thinks you are prettier than she is...It's probably nothing about her getting ready to go out on her own. After all, so many CDs are prettier than their wives, happens all the time.
^this. I didn't realize my wife was stepping out on me until she asked for a divorce. You might be so wrapped up in your own life you're not paying attention to her? I hope I'm wrong, I really do.