Secret Drawer
01-11-2016, 11:14 AM
I seem to be locked in a rather hard to define DADT. The don't ask and the don't tell part are firmly in place, while the "do what you want" and the "I don't care what the neighbors think" parts are unusual. One hurdle recently crossed was regarding the kids. My wife took a gender sensitivity course for work, which dealt with TG and TS issues. She "determined" that the kids won't care if I am TG or not, so it relaxed her quite a bit. She likes a manly man in her life, so we keep my femme side off the books for her sake. All my clothing and stuff is out to see and in the wash, so it is no secret, which is nice. Anyway, the dent...
I am a gymnastics trainer helper (basically a spotter) and usually go with my sweatpants and tee shirt (a sort of scrubbed out look). My wife, after the kids won't care revalation, decided that I should just wear my yoga pants to the gymnastics sessions, as "no one will care," she said. She is well aware that my running tights, etc. are women's and she said that while no one will really care, it is my presentation, not hers, and that it is up to me if I have the nerve to do it or not.
Just like underdressing to the doctor or the swimhalls, I decided that if it was Ok with her then why not?
Nobody cared, just like she said. In fact, it seemed more appropriate to the venue and it seemed that my "advice" to the students was taken a bit more serious these last couple times...
This, for me, is the reason I wish we did not have a DADT, as I wish to not "offend" her by my actions, but typically don't know where her barriers are. Also, coming out to friends or family members (as I am transgendered, neither comfortable as an occasional CD or feel I am a fullblown TS) would be easier if I had her Ok on it.
I am a gymnastics trainer helper (basically a spotter) and usually go with my sweatpants and tee shirt (a sort of scrubbed out look). My wife, after the kids won't care revalation, decided that I should just wear my yoga pants to the gymnastics sessions, as "no one will care," she said. She is well aware that my running tights, etc. are women's and she said that while no one will really care, it is my presentation, not hers, and that it is up to me if I have the nerve to do it or not.
Just like underdressing to the doctor or the swimhalls, I decided that if it was Ok with her then why not?
Nobody cared, just like she said. In fact, it seemed more appropriate to the venue and it seemed that my "advice" to the students was taken a bit more serious these last couple times...
This, for me, is the reason I wish we did not have a DADT, as I wish to not "offend" her by my actions, but typically don't know where her barriers are. Also, coming out to friends or family members (as I am transgendered, neither comfortable as an occasional CD or feel I am a fullblown TS) would be easier if I had her Ok on it.