Gender dysphoria vs Pink fog

[Katrina26cd]

I have started counseling sessions and I am coming to a realization I may be transgender.

The thing is although the feelings never go away sometimes I am able to function pretty normal some of the time then there are times
I am in between and then there are times where it is almost Debilitating

The last one is the one that is really causing me problems. How do I know whether its gender dysphoria or pink fog.

I have dressed in public for 4 days straight a few times and it feels so right and natural and its hard to go back but all my life I have always tried to make others happy even if its hard for me

[MissDanielle]

You have to do what makes you feel happy!

I've had the struggle since middle school. I played mental gymnastics until November into thinking I'm a straight guy when the reality is I'm really a straight girl in a guy's body. I'm starting hormones next month after I move.

I had a bad spiral a few weeks ago after Kohl's to where I am dressing in both bras and panties to feel like myself. Can't wear anything else I want until I move.

[sarahcsc]

Hi Katrina,

First of all... stay away from definitions.

The moment you start defining yourself, you have limited yourself. People will say a pink fog is XXX, and gender dysphoria is YYY, but it is mostly just semantics used mostly to label the world we see around us. Your inner experience however is unique and dynamic therefore cannot be labelled.

I have recently underwent FFS (facial feminization surgery) and was living in a bubble for a whole month before I had to return to work. In that bubble, I lived almost full time as a woman (except when passing airport customs), and it was incredibly hard to return to how I used to live. However, as a result of me coming out, some friends are now more comfortable with me presenting as female.

Truth is, your relationship with your environment is reciprocal. In other words, you influence your environment as much as it influences you.

Your friends and family and colleagues may put pressure on you not to transition, but you exert the same amount of pressure on them to accept who you are.

You will eventually have to decide what you want to do with your life, but don't let "definitions" guide you.

Don't buy into the notion that "because I am trans... I have to do this or that..." or "because this is only a pink fog... I can't do this or that..."

For all you know, you might be a trans who is having a pink fog.

Stay curious, and keep exploring.

Love,
S

[Badtranny]

It's been said by someone wiser than me that The unexamined life is not worth living.

In regard to transition, you must examine and examine and examine before you can truly understand. Examine your motives, examine your feelings, examine your motives again.

Get away from the crossdressing. Put things in perspective. Transition is NOT about panties and bras. In fact, one could say it is the exact opposite of under-dressing. When you transition you are on display, and the prettiest panties in the world will not help you deal with it.

[whowhatwhen]

if you transition you get teh boobies tho
p good deal imho

[Rianna Humble]

Despite the "advice" to avoid labels and the attempts at humour, you have asked a very important question.

I'm glad to see that you are already getting counselling and hope that this is with someone who has experience with patients who are suffering from Gender Dysphoria. Perhaps you could explore this question with your counsellor.

Your last phrase is pretty important that you try to make other people happy. If you are suffering from Gender Dysphoria, you will need at some stage to consider what you need to be happy and to continue to function.

Transition is not an easy choice, neither is it the answer to all of your problems. What transition does for those of us with acute gender dysphoria is to make that go away little by little.

[Eryn]

Pink fog is the euphoria associated with dressing in the clothes of the opposite gender.

Gender Dysphoria is a deep-seated dissatisfaction with one's birth gender.

That's my perception, but like all terms, there is considerable room for interpretation.

[I Am Paula]

I have to disagree Melissa. It took me a long time to decide I had to transition, and cross dressing kept me off the ledge. Sometimes just wearing panties made a day bearable. In hindsight, of coarse, I was biding time, delaying the inevitable, but I didn't know that at the time.

[MissDanielle]

I'm with Paula...most of the past few years has been focused on getting my finances back in order but lately bra and panties have made my days just a bit better. Freedom in a month from this weekend.

[dreamer_2.0]

Forgive my confusion, what does wearing panties have to do with actual transition?

[Megan G]

If underdressing is what it takes to help you get thru a day/week/month that's great, have at it but I don't believe that what Melissa is saying to do is stop or that it is bad. IMHO what she is trying to say is focus less about the clothes (and cross dressing) and spend more time figuring out what it will take to make you happy. Spend the time figuring out who you are and working out the internal issues before you pull the pin on that damn Tranny Grenade(TM). We all know how messy life can get once you do and it will not matter if your wearing panties or boxers when that time comes..

For the record and this is just my personal experience, no amount of underdressing or cross dressing was enough to get me inner peace. I was not until I started building a social life with people who accepted me for who I am and having my true gender/nature reflected back at me and it did not matter if I was presenting as Megan or Drew.

[stefan37]

Happiness is relative. It's inner peace you are striving for.

[MissDanielle]

Happiness is relative. It's inner peace you are striving for.I'm finally at peace with who I am on the inside, a straight girl in the wrong body.

[Eryn]

Forgive my confusion, what does wearing panties have to do with actual transition?

For a lot of us, it is the first step of a long journey.

[pamela7]

speaking for only myself; the panties are something only I know about (no-one else sees them), they speak to me of how I feel on the day, whereas the outer garments are what I'm showing the world. The outer may be a compensation or projection, but they will communicate and the meaning at other people will be the consequence.

Like Eryn implies, for me, 10 years of panties were a phase of my unconscious trying to tell me something that I've taken a long time to hear; they can be a first step. I'll spell it out: undergarments and garments reflected "woman on the inside, man on the outside" (note the past tense).

[dreamer_2.0]

Question for OP, can you describe your experiences and maybe some struggles too? What is debilitating? What makes you think what you're feeling is pink fog or gender dysphoria? Also, good job speaking to a counsellor. How is that going so far?

[Katrina26cd]

Question for OP, can you describe your experiences and maybe some struggles too? What is debilitating? What makes you think what you're feeling is pink fog or gender dysphoria? Also, good job speaking to a counsellor. How is that going so far?


Its hard to explain it is an intense feeling of sadness & anxiety when i am dressed or trying on clothes that I want to stay that way and sometimes the thought can rule my mind for a couple days making work and family life suffer

The counseling feels good to let someone else know my true feelings she works with a lot of gender issues i feel more confused than ever but thats also because she is raising questions i have never asked myself

[Badtranny]

Spend the time figuring out who you are and working out the internal issues before you pull the pin on that damn Tranny Grenade(TM). We all know how messy life can get once you do and it will not matter if your wearing panties or boxers when that time comes...

Yep.

If you're using crossdressing to sooth the savage beast than you need to get to the bottom of that before you ever consider a gender transition. I'm trying to tell you that transition is hard and if you think your life in the office as Ginger won't be all that much different than your life as George than you need to do some more research.

I'm saying examine your motives and find the root of your feelings because you will need something substantial to sustain yourself through those first couple of years, and crossdressing ain't it.

[Robin414]

I'm trying to tell you that transition is hard and if you think your life in the office as Ginger won't be all that much different than your life as George than you need to do some more research


I feel that comment Melissa! I totally get the FACT that transition is a hell of a thing...not there.. yet...but I'm trying to be authentic and..I'm getting comfortable with that ☺

[PaulaQ]

Katrina26cd - if you look back at a couple of older threads I wrote, you'll see that I struggled with this question too. A lot of us do.

Here's an article that might help explain some common symptoms of GD:
http://freethoughtblogs.com/zinniajones/2013/09/that-was-dysphoria-8-signs-and-symptoms-of-indirect-gender-dysphoria/

In general, the pink fog is a euphoric feeling you get while crossdressed - generally its taken to mean someone who's having so much fun CDing that they have lost perspective. (Example: I just bought $800 in clothes! My wife will LOVE it! Especially since I look so much better than her!) A CD with a mindset like that is apt to come crashing back down to earth!

Gender dysphoria is hard to explain because it affects us all differently. In general though it is a negative feeling or feelings. Some common examples:
- Hating your appearance in the mirror
- Hating your facial or body hair
- profound desire for breasts, a vagina, female features
- dislike or psychological problems associated with your penis
- desire to be, or belief you are a woman
- Depression
- anxiety
- Anger
- intense feelings of alienation from others
- a distracting and horrible "noise" in your head
- suicidal thoughts

When you have an especially bad case of it, death will seem like a mercy.