I just came out to my wife

[daphne_L]

Wow, what an awesome woman!!! She was more surprised than I expected, but very accepting.

However, she is not ready to see me dressed. She is afraid that it will ruin her image of me as a man in a way that might impact our physical intimacy. I'm not willing to risk that.

Also, she doesn't want our two little boys to see me dressed. I'm not ready for that either.

She offered up a part of our walk in closet for my girl clothes without me even asking, and suggested that any time I wanted to dress after the boys were asleep I could have the master suite to myself to dress as much as I needed.

Not quite girlfriends, but much better than DADT. And, I feel like our marriage is much stronger than it was 2 hours ago. I hated not being open with her, and the fear of discovery or rejection was not health for me or our relationship.

Thanks so much, all of you, for the care and support on this forum that got me to the point I could do this.

Hugs,

Daphne

[SHY KIM]

I'm so happy for you Daphne! Would love to hear more or your story. I recently broached the subject with my wife a few weeks ago. She knew about Kim since before we married and much like your SO she didn't want to be part of the experience (of which I could understand). I'm just about to venture out en femme again this weekend after a 12 year hiatus.
I know your grateful to have such an understanding wife. If I may, my only advice is to not overwhelm her. Baby steps for now.
Kim

[Sandie70]

A very brave thing Daphne. I don't have an SO, but I am slowly "coming out" to friends, one at a time. And I know how hard it must have been to finally reveal your crossdressing to your wife. I hope the future will be a wonderful, happy experience - now that the hard part is over.

[Jazzy Jaz]

Congratulations!

[mehere]

That's great that it went over so well

[EllieMayxxx]

That is so good for both of you Daphne!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Daphne:hugs:, It sounds like you just hit the lottery, Ok the ball is in her court now,
Just don't overwhelm her with Daphne. ~~...:daydreaming:...

[chelyann]

Congratulations
like others have said dont push it , or it may back fire

[donnaS]

Take it one minute, one hour, one day at a time. Pink fogs coming sweetie. Don't get lost like I have. Dang, how them toe nails get painted? 🙂

[Genni]

That is wonderful and such a big step! It suggests that you had a strong relationship already, and this openness can help it to grow even stronger. The trick for many of us is to avoid letting this facet of ourselves dominate the relationship-- even for a short time.

[Diversity]

Good outcome, Daphne. You are fortunate, and who knows that as time passes and your wife becomes more accustomed to your need to dress, that things may improve even further for you! Good luck to you both!
Di

- - - Updated - - -

God outcome, Daphne! You are very fortunate. Who knows, but perhaps over time, as your wife becomes more accustomed to your dressing, maybe she will relax the rules and things will get even better for you. Good luck to you both!
Di

[Jenniferathome]

... However, she is not ready to see me dressed. She is afraid that it will ruin her image of me as a man in a way that might impact ...

Quite a normal reaction, I think. My wife had the exact same concern and has long since over me that fear. In fact now, she can NOT see her husband in me when in girl mode. Well done and congratulations on dropping that monkey!

[Jenn_8B]

I glad it's working out for you.

[kelliT]

at least you made the first step forward rather than they being surprised. My experience, don't expect much more. Meaning, four years and my wife is still okay not seeing me dressed up for the same reason.

[Kandi Robbins]

Your life will be completely different and so much richer. Never take that gift for granted, it is truly a gift.

[leannejacobs]

Congratulations but as others have said take it slowly, my SO took some time to get her head round it and got to the point where she knew I needed to dress and let me dress in front of her, it was weird to start with but after a few times it felt great, she even bought me a few items.
However as much as she tried to embrace this it came to the point where she decided she wasn't comfortable with seeing me that way and no longer wants to see Leanne, she accepts I need to do it and tries not to quiz me about when I do it, she can't help herself at times and notices synthetic hairs in the bathroom or that my things have moved, it makes life difficult for me now and I struggle to get Leanne time.
I don't wish to sound negative but don't get too comfortable with this, it may not last, I hope for your sake that it does, good luck.

[Stephanie47]

It's always nice to read of another accepting relationship happening. I think your wife has expressed what most women fear...the ruined image of the man they married. Even if a woman does not see her man attired in women's clothing I'm sure many, my wife included, have their imaginations run wild. I think you are fortunate she has made space in the closet for your clothing. Maybe that will soften her original attitude and want to see you dressed. Personally, I would not go overboard and take up too much space.

[ChristinaK]

Take it slow, girlie, she may have been accepting at first because she was overwhelmed and not fixed in her mind. Don't be surprised if the wave comes back to swamp you.

It will take her some time to figure out her own feelings concerning the subject. I've been there, girl. I hope the best for you and that you have one of the rare relationships that appear on this forum from time to time. Best of luck Daphne. By the way, that has always been one of my favorite names!

[nikkiwindsor]

Daphne,

I'm really happy for you!

Nikki

[MelanieAnne]

However, she is not ready to see me dressed. She is afraid that it will ruin her image of me as a man in a way that might impact our physical intimacy. I'm not willing to risk that.

Also, she doesn't want our two little boys to see me dressed. I'm not ready for that either.


That is a red line you should not cross. For the time being, you are among the few fortunate ones. Count your blessings. Do not push the boundaries, especially regarding your two little boys. That would probably be a deal breaker for your wife. Good luck.

[TrishaLake]

Good for you, in my house we have arrived at the same spot albeit in much more time. She is comfortable with dressing , but no wig yet...I hope that occurs in due time. Acceptance always feels the best and is what we are all looking for. Good luck and be pateint.

[CallmeAlice]

Congrats Daphne! I believe that my relationship with my girlfriend is much stronger that I'm out, hopefully it will stay like that for you. For my I haven't crossed in front of her to much just a handful of times. The way it sounds that path to cross in front of her will come and she wont mind at all. Til then it's going to take time, hope all will go well. Hugs,
Alice

[AmyB]

Congratulations.

Like others have said, the secrets can kill a marriage. But I also think that having things that you do separately can help a marriage.

[Robin414]

Way to go Daphne!! I know that was tough but it takes sooo much stress off and seriuosly strengthens the relationship! Now, just take it slow, really slow and it'll be all good ☺

[daphne_L]

Thanks everyone!

I see a common thread in the advice: "take it slow." The pink fog seems to be rolling in, but I am listening to your collective wisdom; I am taking it slow.

[Tonya Fox]

I just came out to my wife about a month ago. Yesterday the heels I ordered came in, I asked if I could maybe wear them around the house; ok. I cooked breakfast, had a nice chitchat, painted each other's nails ( Buffy the violet slayer ). I asked if I could wear some nylons, talked over some options. She picked out some clothes for me. And she spent the day with Tonya drinking and playing board games. I was on cloud nine. It was an amazing day with an amazing woman.

[JamieG]

Fantastic news! I have nothing to add to the good advice you've already been given.