Sexuality? Gender?

[Tina_Someday]

I have a few questions on gender and sexuality. First off I am sexually attracted to men. I have to think about a man in order to get off, a woman does not work. However I only look at woman and think wow she is hot but I never look at men the same way unless I am dressed or thinking myself as a female. This part is very strange to me but I want to develop the emotional attraction to men that I currently do not have. Is this weird or is this something that anybody here has felt?

The gender question do not ever remember being a kid and feeling that I should of been or wanted to be a woman. I think I start dressing when I was around 14. It was definatley sexual. I had not dressed in maybe 4 years. In those 4 years I still fantasied about being a woman with a man. I am going to be 31 next month and I have had feelings come back that I want to be a woman for some reason. I think to myself if I could snap my fingers and be a woman would I and the answer is always 110 percent yes. I read some people saying they enjoy being a male. I do not really understand what it means to like being a man but I feel that I don't like being a man at least in the way I think what that means.

So is it possible to trick your mind in to wanting to be a woman? I don't know why I think that but it just makes me wonder if I am somehow tricking myself in to thinking I want to be a woma. PLus I know I want to be emotionally attracted to men when now I only feel sexually attracted to men.

[livy_m_b]

Tina - there are many signs of confusion in your post, but no more than is fairly common.

There are some of us for whom conscious awareness of who they are and what they want is clear from an early age; and there are some (including me) who have to grope their way forward until they reach some clarity.

Regarding the question of whether the mind can trick itself into thinking it wants to be a woman, the answer is pretty clearly "yes". We all see people who think they are ts but who suffer from very different and profound disturbances who have fixated on the idea that really they are women or ts or whatever. We need to remember "idee fixe" and "monomania" and "delusion" are _possible_, but for most of us, don't think those apply.

You say you are sexually attracted but not emotionally drawn to men (I think that's what you're saying). But, your life seems mostly fantasy at this point in time - if you were a woman with a man you might find the emotional connection came very naturally even though from a distance it doesn't seem like it's there.

Relax, let time increase clarity, make no rash decisions, draw no firm conclusions, until it becomes really clear to you and stays that way. If you want to speed up the process, it helps to get real life experiences and beyond just thinking about things.

[Gilded Graper]

livy, great advice.

Dressing can have a liberating effect.

Young boys get an exhilerating feeling of freedom, the 1st time they make a decision then go out looking to hook up in a crusing zone.

In both cases, there are many options available to you, so many it's chaotic.
Will you be bisexual as a woman? As a man? As a man in drag?

Then there's all the options of Androgyny.

Have fun exploring.

[Lisa Baby]

I have only been with one man, so far, sexually. I have only been with him as a woman. Never in drab. He has always treated me, every time, all the time, as a woman

:) When we are making love, he always tries to please me just as much as I am trying to please him:happy: I think we both are VERY satisfied with the results. ;)

If you are feeling a physical attraction to any man, I think you should give it a try. I did, and it has been wonderfull!

Be cautious in your approach though. If you pass en-femme, do so as such. I would think long and hard as to when you should bring up the subject of your cross dressed status. How well do you know the person you are approaching? Some males can really freak out :eek: when you tell them.

Yet I still do have fellings of attraction for women. I don't know where this puts me in the Gender catagory, But I am enjoying myself more as a woman than as a man.

It seems to me that tou have already given this matter a lot of thought and wish to know what others have experienced. I tried it, and I LOVE it. This does not mean that you have to!

I would recomend that you experience it for yourself. Then decide how you feel about it. It can be wonderful. It can be rotten, Or it can be somewhere in between. You may want to experience it again before you make a decission.

Feel free to contact me if you wish and I will try to answer any question you may have about my experiances.

Lisa :happy: xo