A Normal life

[xNicolex]

So yeah a normal life, what does that mean? Normal? what does it mean to you? wife/husband, kids, A big house with a picket fence the whole 9? Yeah I want that too, but I have to say conforming to social norms is definitely a pet peeve for me. Not to contradict myself with my opening line :heehee: A good family life is what I aim for, I just mean in general when it comes to being accepted for yourself without the need to follow the flock to fit in. I've been through quite alot of struggles with my crossdressing, as I'm sure the majority of you reading this right now have also had your fair share of ups and downs. The main problem for me is to tell or not to tell :eek: the choice between family and friends riding a knife edge of acceptance or rejection :eek: There is a very fine line there that once crossed there is no going back when your out, your out. The part that I hate just after I tell someone about Nicole is the vulnerability I feel deep in my gut :straightface: Because I'm exposed to the odds... the odds being 50-50 open arms or a slammed door in the face. I know that I am comfortable in my own skin and happy to be me, but others that consider themselves normal and me a freak, the fake people that need to do what everyone else does to feel normal and mock anyone who is different that's where I take issue :Angry3: It bothers me because even though only 3 people close to me know about Nicole I fear I can tell nobody else. Even though I am as I said comfortable being me, Not everyone would be comfortable with me being me. I know I have to understand that it's not to everyone's taste this hobby of mine but it feels natural to me and I just feel as though because of social norms I'm being denied a normal life the way I want to live it openly and carefree. If I said screw it and went ahead and dressed wherever and whenever I pleased I would risk losing family and friends :sad: Sorry that turned into a bit of a rant but it's just how I feel.

[Kate Simmons]

There really is no such thing as "normal" other than a setting on the dryer. We are all unique individuals. Enjoy being yourself. In fact that is my one and only rule for friendship: Just always be yourself. That is the person I relate to and appreciate. :battingeyelashes::)

[Katey888]

It's OK to have a rant here Nicole... :) We may not all feel it but most of us will sympathise.. :hugs:

I guess I've been fortunate that this condition didn't grip me more strongly and earlier in life - I can only imagine that I would have had similar difficulties to yourself. As it is, I've kept this secret because I've been able to (yes - some of us can live real double lives) - it's been compartmentalized from my 'normal' life which has been, more or less, completely normal-ish - full of the usual trials and tribulations of jobs, career, family, kids, parents, education, illnesses, life, death... And nobody close to me knows - but I prefer to (and can) keep it that way... Sad in one way, but makes things so much easier in another.

Many people here will tell you to just not worry about why and what you're doing but to get on with it and have fun... I personally think that's a little vacuous sometimes. It's quite clear many folk come here with real issues that are only positively addressed once they're able to come to terms with their underlying nature - I'm not saying that's all of us or you, necessarily... just that in understanding more about who we are and our nature and motivations, we give ourselves an opportunity to understand what is likely to be the right path in life to take, for ourselves and those close to us... I get the feeling a lot of folk here do try to have fun with it but wind up convincing themselves that's why they do it... I try to get some fun out of it - but it's certainly not why I'm driven to do it...

Take your time over considering any sort of revelations, would be my counsel... There are a lot of keyboard activists here who would encourage you to be honest, open and tell the world - but you have to live with the consequences of that, not them... It's tough, but at the end of it all only you can determine a way through because only you know what this means to you... :)

Keep talking here - something useful may emerge from the infinite monkey typing pool... :lol:

Katey x

[heatherdress]

Nicole - Normal is such an overused and meaningless word. Who wants to be normal and live a boring normal life? You only live once and you have to be who you are and should live life to the fullest. Seems like you are very aware of who you are and what you should do in life - be you. Don't be overly concerned about keeping your cross dressing your own business. That is what most people do with behavior and interests that others might not understand or accept. Enjoy your dressing and continue to be discrete. You are young and beautiful.

[chelyann]

normal compared to what --
life is to short to please every one

[CarlaWestin]

Normal is such an overused and meaningless word. Who wants to be normal and live a boring normal life? Enjoy your dressing and continue to be discrete. You are young and beautiful.

Normal is overused but, it instantly identifies the concept of everything else, without the gender line crossing. When I look back, a good portion of my 'normal' life has been pretty bizarre and the crossdressing thing has been a puzzling, sometimes embarrassingly shameful and fabulously rewarding facet of experience. And, don't ever let anyone tell you that you have to make choices. You can have it all if you really want it.

[Judy-Somthing]

You get me thinking about all the people I've known in my life.
I find everyone seems to have some part of them they like to hide, are they normal?

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Nicole:hugs:, One persons normal is another persons outrageous .

Anyone that thinks they are normal may want to get a second opinion. ~~...:daydreaming:...

[AndrewJenny]

Sometimes "double lives" are about keeping safe. I have 4 different facets to my alternative sexuality (bisexual, polyamorous, submissive, and transvestite), and I can be fired without recourse for any one of them. Stores don't have to do business with me because of their "religious convictions", and the CEO where I work goes to a church that insists women call their husbands "Lord". I'd like to come out more, but I always have to consider that people talk, and it might get back to someone with the power and inclination to harm me for it.

KKat

[docrobbysherry]

Nicole, normal is nonsense! I grew up in a town like Mary Tyler Moore's on TV. Or, so it seemerd. Then, I got married myself and lived that, "white picket fence, driving the kids to soccer, band, and dance practices, etc. life. We got to know a lot of other families pretty well thru our kids. Know how many "normal" people I can list from that entire time, (about 40 years), among those I got to know well? ZERO!:eek:

And, this was ALL before I tried dressing for the first time!:battingeyelashes:

My suggestion if u r a CD is, tell folks on a "need to know" basis. If you're planning to come out one day? Then that's a completely different matter.:)