A big step.

[EllieMayxxx]

Hi, Sorry if this is in the wrong section, I didn't know where to put this.

I have just sent an email to a therapist explaining everything because a lovely woman called Jane recommend that I spoke to a therapist to see if i am trans or not with me being young it would be better if I found out now instead of waiting and regretting. Over the last couple of years I have had thoughts that I might be a woman but I have always quickly dismissed them because of my genetics. I don't know if this is denial or what?

[pamela7]

good luck, let's hope the therapy clears up an answer for you.
xxx Pamela

[Rianna Humble]

At this stage, I would say it might well be what?

The therapist should not be there to tell you whether or not you are transsexual, but should help you to ask yourself the right questions, including whether transition would be the right answer for you right now.

As you are in England, there is support available on the NHS, but the wait can be somewhat long.

[Marcelle]

Hi Charlotte,

I can only echo Rianna's comments. If you are going to the therapist looking for her/him to tell you if you are TS or not, it doesn't work that way. A good therapist will help you explore you internal psyche and bring some order to chaos but in the end, you are the only one who can answer that question. My advice, be honest with your therapist and be honest with yourself and you will find where you need to be.

Good luck

Marcelle

[EllieMayxxx]

Thank you, i see now. I thought that when you talk with them they would say if you are or not.

[JanePeterson]

Charlotte

I had really hoped that too, but as was previously stated they most likely won't hand you a diagnosis... They should ask you really good/hard questions that force you to confront things you may have hidden from yourself (or not).

[pamela7]

Er yes echoing what the others have said, being an experienced therapist, albeit not a gender specialist, and about to retire, I can say for sure the best ask mostly questions or draw your attention to your own statements or gestures or body language. I've not come across any life area as important as this one to get right - gender - and for sure only your whole beingness' reality can come to a conclusion; it is for no-one else to judge or evaluate if you are or not. And while in most countries an "expert" has to make a diagnosis in order to receive treatment, the future will rely more upon the personal testimony and not at all upon the "expert", for no-one can know you better than yourself.

Other people have their perceptions, their own references experiences that inform their sense of you, but it's only their limited perception and sense.

So good luck and don't allow anyone else to tell you about yourself, however "expert" their opinion is supposed to be.

[Badtranny]

You are or you are not.

No one can tell you one way or the other and transition doesn't depend on the answer. If you really want to live an honest life than start doing it. Start exploring why you want to do some of the things you do.
The politics of fear and loathing are a dead end. Don't look for labels, look for answers.

[EllieMayxxx]

Thanks for the replies, you have definitely given me something to think about. I need to really dig deeper and look for answers.

[MissDanielle]

Seeing a therapist is an important first step.

[Robin414]

Way to go Charlotte, I did the same myself. I only had three visits and they did help! I'm 'fluid' for sure and honestly thought a gender therapist would be able to say 'yep, you're TG, here's your prescription 😐 . She didn't but she did make me THINK about it...and I still am...but for 'free' for the time being at least 😕

[EllieMayxxx]

I got a reply from the therapist saying that i can talk via email because I said that talking over the phone wouldn't be an option. So I have told her everything, and all my feelings. Im really giddy because I would have never thought that I would have done this. Im so happy that im able to talk comfortably too

[kiwidownunder]

Hi Charlotte
Interesting conversation with our therapist the other day.
I was asked did I think anyone (friends/family etc) had already guessed I was TG?
My answer no way! ,she said interesting she could tell within the first few sessions (I thought thats because I told you haha)
Got me wondering why the Cait Jenner subject keep coming up with family and friends mmmmmm?

Kiwi

[JenniferZ2009]

You've got to figure or who you are on you're own. You can have people guide you but you must make the determination of whether you are trans on your own. I wish you luck.

[EllieMayxxx]

Thank you Jennifer, that's why i am wanting to talk with someone, i need some guidance.

[EllieMayxxx]

Got a reply today explaining the cost of the counselling. Not good news im afraid because I can't afford £45 per week. So im stuck on what to do. I know they don't do it for free but when you're unemployed £45 is a lot of money.

[JanePeterson]

I found an online counselor who is paid per session... And she was willing to negotiate a better price since my insurance doesn't cover it - PM me if you would like specifics.

[JenniferZ2009]

Got a reply today explaining the cost of the counselling. Not good news im afraid because I can't afford £45 per week. So im stuck on what to do. I know they don't do it for free but when you're unemployed £45 is a lot of money.

Can you do every other week? Something is better than nothing I would think. I dont know what the rules are in England though sorry. I did have some old friend on facebook from England Ill check if they are still on my friends list and see if they have any ideas.

[Nigella]

As has previously been pointed out, I believe your best port of call would be your GP. Most surgeries will refer you for councelling, not necessarily gender, but at least it will give you an opportunity to talk to a trained councellor. I would also hazard a guess that for general councelling, the wait would not be as long as being referred to a Gender clinic. A lot of the UK girls have highlighted in other threads the delays they are facing in this area of the NHS.

[becky77]

Yeah get yourself to the GP and ask to get a referral to your nearest Gender Clinic and express your need for help and if you can get counselling in between.
You don't know till you ask and there are resources available that don't cost money.

There is a long wait for the clinic but if you think it's where you will end up anyway best to join that queue now.

[EllieMayxxx]

Thank you for the replies. I will go to the gp next week sometime, last night has really shown me how much i want to start the transition. Like you said Becky, it will be best if i join the queue now. I appreciate all of the help

Charlotte

[JenniferZ2009]

I hope everything works out. Good luck next week. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.