Is Acceptance Coming ????

[deebra]

I have tried on women's shoes and heels in four or five different Payless stores wearing hose and all the SA's were perfectly normal and helpful with me doing this. I have had positive comments from women trying on heels beside me as to how they liked the heels I was wearing. Two SA's in different stores encouraged me to wear the shoes out of their store and into the mall and home. Wearing three inch heel boots under my girl jeans and walking in the mall I just blend in. Is acceptance coming?

[nikkiwindsor]

I've been crossdressing for years, and acceptance has been improving from my experience. Certainly, have a long way to go given trans-girls continue to be murdered at an extraordinarily high rate and evil and mean comments abound. But, all in all, things are much better and I'm optimistic about the future :)

[JessiFoxx]

I think thing are getting a lot better these days. I went shopping last Sat and only had a few minor odd glances but for the most part no issues.

[I Am Paula]

Last summer I saw a completely non passable (not even trying very hard), and inappropriately dressed CD. I was perusing the mall, and saw her three or four times in different stores. No body seemed to be raising an eyebrow, and store SA's were treating her as they would any other woman.
I was pleased that someone clearly out of the ordinary was so well accepted.

[Stephanie47]

There's a world of difference between a sales associate trying to make a sale than people who you interact with you everyday. Frankly, unless someone has "skin in the game" most people really do not care. Sure, there's some wasted on booze or hate anyone not like themselves who will strike out and say or do something, but, most people just go on with their lives.

[Katey888]

Perhaps acceptance by SAs in retail outlets is inversely proportional to the current growth (or decline...) of overall sales in said outlets...? :2c:

Just sayin'... (I believe that is the accepted general disclaimer now... ;))

Katey x

[Helen_Highwater]

Last summer I saw a completely non passable (not even trying very hard), and inappropriately dressed CD. I was perusing the mall, and saw her three or four times in different stores. No body seemed to be raising an eyebrow, and store SA's were treating her as they would any other woman.
I was pleased that someone clearly out of the ordinary was so well accepted.

I sometimes get the impression that being completely non passable is a bit like being the person who walks around talking to themselves. People know somethings "amiss" (as opposed to "a Miss") and just accept it.


There's a world of difference between a sales associate trying to make a sale than people who you interact with you everyday. Frankly, unless someone has "skin in the game" most people really do not care. Sure, there's some wasted on booze or hate anyone not like themselves who will strike out and say or do something, but, most people just go on with their lives.

And in that I think there's a lot of truth. The trick is to avoid the crazies so follow the CD'ing code and pick your locations wisely.

[Lauri K]

I think things are getting better for us in general but lots and lots of work still to be done. (everywhere)

The SA's at Payless must love us, because I went out to their store at the mall on Saturday and left with three more pairs of nice ladies shoes. The SA was trying to get me to buy jewelry and handbags as they were 30% percent off, but nothing suited me so I just got the shoes.

Also while I was trying on shoes, there was a lady and her daughter beside me trying on size 9's and 10's but they were totally unfazed by my shoe shopping / trying them on etc. So it just goes to show you if you are not being creepy or acting weird / strange generally speaking others will not think much of our presence I find.

[Robin414]

I'm out quite a lot lately in my new 'tween' mode (I look like a chic but pretty clearly not a chic...but not pretending to be a chic...wow, that's sounds so much more complicated than it is 😧 )

Anyway, I've received responses ranging from what felt like 'sigh, another customer interrupting my day' to dare I say what felt like 'encouragment' but (touch wood) nothing less than what felt like 'acceptance'. All that said though, I don't really have any past experiences to compare to and YMMV so I'm only making an educated guess I suppose when I say 'YES'?

[Alice Torn]

My guess, is that in the liberal western nations, there is more tolerance in many cities, and less in more rural areas. In some cultures, in some nations, though, I doubt much improvement.

[Nadine Robles]

At least on some cultures hatred is slowly on retreat, that's something...

[TaraGrace]

I'm out quite a lot lately in my new 'tween' mode (I look like a chic but pretty clearly not a chic...but not pretending to be a chic...wow, that's sounds so much more complicated than it is 😧 )


Robin, those pics of yours really amazed me.. I have to admit the 'drunk chick' one is the best for me, but probably because I can just image a bunch of us going out and you being the one saying "it's only 6am.. stop fussing and lets have one more.. just one, i swear" ;)

Interesting for you to go out a lot in tween mode a lot and not pretending.. that takes confidence, and definately gets my respect!

ps.. I'm guessing tween Robin would also close down a bar in style, am I right?

[Allisa]

Well anyone who has read my threads know that I am very fortunate to be accepted by others, of course there were and probably always will be non-accepting people out there. But on a whole from what I read here we are making progress but ever so slowly. Although SA's are not the best gauges for obvious reasons, it's the people on the street and in our own home towns that count the most. All in all I'm hopeful for the future.

[Robin414]

LOL Tara, ummm, yah I've closed a few in style 😉

[kittie60]

Yes. In some places its the norm now,still other places it's going to take time yet, but we are headed in the right direction. After all we are no different than anybody else when it comes down to. Race religion,it shouldn't matter
Like my doctor told you were born this way for a reason

[deebra]

Yes I think acceptance is coming, I wear panties and hose every day and no body has said a thing, yea or nea (how could they, they are out of sight under my jeans). See acceptance is coming!!

[sometimes_miss]

Is acceptance coming?
Ohhhh, it's coming. But it's riding on the back of a snail which just left Tokyo, and is on it's way to Lisbon. So it's going to take a while....

We have to be cautious about mistaking tolerance for acceptance (anyone ever hear anyone say to you, 'I'm so happy that you're a crossdresser! That's wonderful!' Other than, say, another crossdresser, or perhaps someone relieved that you're not gay or TS). People tolerate a whole lot that they don't want anything to do with; most still don't want us in their family, or have us as mates. There are plenty of people out there today that have found out that one of their siblings is gay, for example, and still care about them. But do they like it? Uh, not exactly. We haven't reached that point yet. Most people still prefer that we aren't part of their lives. It's not their fault; they were brought up that way, and lingering feelings will always be there for most of them. We have to remember that much of the world would just as soon we didn't exist, or worse, the ones who want us killed.

[AngelaYVR]

I think you might experience more tolerance. Acceptance? Perhaps a smidgeon.

[Sarah Beth]

The level of acceptance depends a great deal on where you live. I don't see any more acceptance in the area I live in that I did twenty years ago. I can tell that by the "Bruce Jenny" jokes that are still going on around here.

[Pat]

There's a world of difference between a sales associate trying to make a sale than people who you interact with you everyday.

I've heard that sentiment expressed a lot and it disturbs me a bit. First it paints all SA's with a broad brush and makes them out to be predatory. Secondly it ignores the process of acceptance -- when people are first exposed to something out of the ordinary they naturally are a bit reluctant. It's only by becoming familiar that they gain comfort.

When racial integration was in its early stages in the US, the stories of blacks and whites getting along all came from people who worked together, went to school together, had some bond in common that was bigger than race. Mostly, they were forced by circumstances to interact. Those people got to find out first-hand that the fear they had been brought up with was baseless.

So let's look at our SA -- they might have been brought up to think transgender people are scary but since their job requires them to interact they do. And they find out that tg folks aren't scary at all -- they have interests in common. So later, when they're hanging around with their friends and someone says something about "that weird guy in a dress" our SA can say, "Actually, I've met one. He's kind of sweet -- so scared to talk to me at first. He, I should say she loves taffeta and really loves a good sale." Now the SA's friends start thinking "maybe they're human after all" and we all win.

[Allisa]

Sometime_miss, I have had women respond to me with the phrase "I'm so glad you can express yourself the way you feel" they may not want me in their family but it is still acceptance.

Jennie, spoken like a true Yankee(not the baseball players, GO Sox).

[suzanne]

Last week, I was doing a bit of shopping wearing skinny jeans, a top, a cardigan and 4 inch heels, but no makeup, wig or forms. I would describe my presentation as androgynous rather than strictly feminine. I went into a mall, to my favorite dress shop, and tried on a few things. No luck this time, btw. Then off to the supermarket to pick up a few groceries. Almost nobody paid any attention to me, except for one woman who said "I love your shoes!" We talked about that for a minute or two, then went on our separate ways. The end.

To me, that is a signpost on the way to the world I want to live in; where whatever you wear is No Big Deal. We are getting there.

[MelanieAnne]

Perhaps acceptance by SAs in retail outlets is inversely proportional to the current growth (or decline...) of overall sales in said outlets...?

I'll buy that. Sales people are trained not to offend the customer in any way. You don't know what they talk about in the break room. "Guess what I just saw at register 4"? But by then, you are long gone.

[CallmeAlice]

I believe it's starting to. Now people are starting to be more accepting to the LGBT community, though still far from full acceptance. Since more people are coming out as trans I feel like people are starting to accept it more than they did two or three years ago.

[michelle64]

I dont like sameness..i dont even care about tolerance let alone acceptance...i am different and i like that..i am not the normal that they all have..it is a boring life for them...i like to be able to talk with my wife about matters other than why ford is better than chevy

[Cd_scarlett]

I think acceptance starts with us. A lot of CD folks dress in the shadows. Society is coming around to the LGBT community but I really think we have to make our place in that community better known. It is a weird place to be in and not at all straight-forward but I really do think crossdressers must establish themselves in the LGBT community better. There is obviously a lot to that but it would help. I know I am not there, personally but I aspire to be.

[sherri]

Imho, there is an undeniable difference between acceptance and tolerance, and that difference definitely applies to TGs in our culture. Sometimes_miss put it well, I think. So is that difference a big deal? Well, it depends on your context and criteria, seems to me. Sure, it is a tremendous relief to be treated with civility while out shopping or whatever, and based on our experiences these days I'd say that level of tolerance is definitely on the rise. And as Jennie_cd observed, over time such interactions will, hopefully, lead to a general population that is more understanding and accepting, even though it will take a long time, I think.

If civility is all you're asking of your social interactions then I'd say the difference between tolerance and acceptance isn't all that important. If, on the other hand, you feel a need to be welcomed, embraced and included on a much deeper and intimate level by family, friends, coworkers, etc, then I think you sense the difference rather poignantly and undeniably. We ain't there yet, and on bad days I wonder if we ever will. Hard to say, but all I know to do is keep trying.

There is one more consideration on the matter, and that is not to let positive encounters put you in a pink fog that is oblivious to the fact that there are still a lot of resenters and haters out there. By all means act, but act accordingly.