Anyone been outed because of this site? [Archive] - Crossdressers.com - #1 Community & Forum for Crossdressers, Family and Friends

Donna Indelco

01-18-2016, 07:05 PM

It hasn't happened to me but I remember 10 years ago when I was reluctant to post pics online because of this exact reason. I got over it and am glad because it's gone from pics to web cams. Of course there's always a chance you'll get busted and posting pics, personal details and cams all increase the chance of this happening. As with many things in life that you want, there is risk involved. You may want to evaluate your own situation and explore the risk/reward relationship. Of course this could be an emotional issue also, so it's hard to measure that. For me, it wouldn't be the end of the world and life would go on so therefore worth accepting the risk involved.

heatherdress

01-18-2016, 07:10 PM

I don't remember anyone blaming this site for being discovered by family or friends. But as everyone has warned, be very careful about you profile information and information you post. Pictures would probably be bypassed, with makeup, wig and female attire.

TaraGrace

01-18-2016, 07:20 PM

Not on this site.. but I do have an experience to share, the world is a small place sometimes.

My SO and I have an open relationship, which means a few times a year we'll be active on a dating website.
She received a message from a colleague of mine (from another office) sending his greetings to me (mentioning my name).

Did he know her? No, and funny enough he didn't know me either.. by sheer coinsedence I had been chatting with one of his female colleagues a few weeks earlier, shared some holliday pictures and he saw them too during a lunch break, made the connection.

As I happend to visit that office the day after, I popped in to find him and said thanks for the greetings :) We ended up having a nice chat and funny enough I ended up giving him some dating advice too.. giggle.. but even if it had gone sour, I'm fine with that.. my relationship status is no secret (although I don't go around promoting it pro-actively).

For others, perhaps not so much.. so keep in mind the internet is open, oopsies do happen, and use common sense.

For instance, did you know if you put enough background surroundings in a photo, it can be searched and compared to find the exact spot you took that photo?

And also, did you know that most phones and cameras record information about your photo such as location, date, time, or even your name (depending on your device and settings).. there's plenty of (free) software to check and if needed remove that information.. but I find a lot of people don't know this.

Oh and last but not least.. deleting something like a photo from where you posted it does not automatically mean it's gone from the internet.. sort of like if you delete a photo of your computer, it does not mean it has gone.. with some effort it can return.

Not to scare anyone, but better to know :)

x Tara

Lorileah

01-18-2016, 07:41 PM

outed....from here? No because 1) they would have to know you dress (and know what you look like dressed and what name you use unless your name here is your male name. and 2) Last night the bartender asked what my name was and googled me right there in the bar and got...more pictures of OTHER people than me (and I post a lot of pictures and there aren't a whole lot of Lori Leah's out there). And I don't keep my life hidden

Finding most people online who have secret lives (ie crossdressing) without certain pieces of information is not an easy task

Nadine Robles

01-18-2016, 08:24 PM

I seriously doubt someone could be exposed just because of a post ot pic her or any other forum for that matter. However I can share some of my own experience. Once i lost an external disc with a lot of pictures i had taken. Many while dressed and most certainly NSFW. (Well hidden but findable for an inquisitive enough one...) that was years ago and i remember digging thouroughly on the interwebs for any sign of them. None. Nada. Niente. I was severely paranoid for the first year or so. Then i remembered the world simply dont care fof you at all honey...

Robin414

01-18-2016, 08:57 PM

Google robots can collect avatars (for what they're worth) but nothing from behind the 'iron curtain'. Unless a Google robot became self aware and realized 'he' or 'she' was TG (ya, like REALLY self aware 😉 ) and signed up for an a account (and could figure out those funky robot proof captcha things)

TaraGrace

01-18-2016, 09:13 PM

you forgot the best part.. Robot's having to post truethfull messages :)

1. Hi, my name is Goo.. erm.. Giggle.
I am new here because my wife Yaho.. erm.. Yihaa and I recently talked about my internet searching habbits after I left my laptop unattended one night, she found my browser open..

2. Hello fellow browsers, I hope you can help? although I know exactly what most men want to see, I really don't like showing them all they want.. so I generally make it hard for them to see my results.. should I be less conservative?

3. And so on ;)

Lauri K

01-18-2016, 09:21 PM

Never heard of such a thing ever happening while I have been here, very remote if you ask me. Post your photos and be proud of who you are and share your stories with us.

This is probably the last place on earth though to get your cover blown, alternatively if your are trying to stay in the closet you have found a safe haven as there are many here in there.

For me all the hinges fell off my closet door in 2015 and have no plans to repair of replace them, does not mean I have rented a billboard up along the highway making announcements, but it is something I just don't worry much about anymore if I am discovered or not.

Robin414

01-18-2016, 09:23 PM

OMG, LMAO Tara 😂I'll be on the lookout for that intro!

Alice Torn

01-18-2016, 09:32 PM

I am no longer worried much on here, but being forgetful at the library, is a bigger concern. I forgot a flash drive in one computer, and it was not turned in. Someone may have gotten a real shock or laughs.

i

TaraGrace

01-18-2016, 10:03 PM

OMG, LMAO Tara 😂I'll be on the lookout for that intro!

;) me too

Allisa

01-18-2016, 10:26 PM

As it has been said before-what are they doing on this site?-unless. I am out in public almost every weekend and sometimes in the afternoon after work so if they want to find me they don't have to go far. It is kind of nerve racking the first few pictures posted, especially if you pretty much look the same in femme as in domme as I do. I know if I wasn't a CDer I would not be looking here.

sometimes_miss

01-18-2016, 11:36 PM

If someone spots you on this site, it will be a two way street, why are they on the site?
The problem lies in that there are some here who want to be out, and want others to be out, too. So they might not think twice about referring to someone else's possibly being a crossdresser because they honestly don't see anything wrong with it. I do know that some people at work suspect certain others of being either gay or crossdressers, as they don't understand or want to accept that there's a difference.

So I try not to leave any obvious clues here as to who I am, or where I live. And certainly no pictures, oh no, none at all, anywhere.

Another possible mistake is having a CD presence on Facebook; if you don't sign out of Facebook, it will keep you 'active'. Then if you don't close your browser windows, that active tab can pick up your activity on other websites and suggest someone as a contact on facebook, and it's easy to click yes without remembering which ID you're using. Then, you're 'out' to that person, and perhaps others will pick up the potential friend notices as well. Social networks and websites (including Linked in) are very aggressive when trying to match you up with others that have ANY things in common. Lots of websites allow you to sign in under your Facebook, Disqus, Google+, Yahoo ID's (and others) and their cookies sometimes automatically sign you in when you go back there, so you have to be aware of the tiny notifications on their pages letting you know of that. Remember, once you agree to letting one of those sites share any of your information, they won't ask you again if they notice something new about your online behavior, because you've already agreed; they'll just take it.

Finding most people online who have secret lives (ie crossdressing) without certain pieces of information is not an easy task

Yes, but it can be done. Pretty much anyone can join here. That done, you can search someone's posts, and take whatever info you can find there. Put parts together and google search for that. Everyone who is concerned about being outed should periodically see what such a search will turn up. A good detective could probably narrow down who I am, but it would take a lot of work to do so. Then, a few PM's to get a little more info and they'd have me. Fortunately, I can't imagine why anyone would want to; but it's possible to do.

Lorileah

01-19-2016, 12:37 AM

Really? You people have people out there who have nothing to do but put together little bits of information about you that can in some remote way "out" you as a crossdresser? Man, I'm glad I am a minion. Unless you have some sort of high profile life (politician, billionaire) OR (and this went away years ago)...a top secret governmental position that would compromise the security of your country I just don't see it as really that important to the world (ie I don't see your boss or pastor or the guy at Dairy Queen taking the time...OR Google)

But then again...I am just a cog in the wheel of of life.

Sarah Louise

01-19-2016, 03:17 AM

For those in the closet who share laptops etc. with their partners, I think it's more likely that you will accidently leave photos in saved drives before loading on this site. Or maybe not going online in 'incognito' mode and then not deleting your browsing history. Certainly I've read posts on this site where some of our members have been outed this way.

ReineD

01-19-2016, 04:55 AM

If someone spots you on this site, it will be a two way street, why are they on the site?

To spy? Anyone can join.

2) Last night the bartender asked what my name was and googled me right there in the bar and got...more pictures of OTHER people than me (and I post a lot of pictures and there aren't a whole lot of Lori Leah's out there).

Lori, I found you right away just with Lori Leah! I'm sending you a PM with your facebook page and your business website.

Raychel

01-19-2016, 06:57 AM

I was sort of outed by this site, but not I the way you are referring.

This site gave me the courage to come out to my wife and all those that life in my house.
As far as anyone else finding out because I am on this site, If they have found out
I am not aware of it, And honestly at this point in my life, I really don't care of they do find out.

I have been on here over 10 years, and so far no problems.

pamela7

01-19-2016, 07:04 AM

i think its nigh impossible for anyone to do that. I had no idea about this sight until i started specifically searching the web for my own needs. So why a non-TG person would even think of looking for this I have no idea. People are so focussed on their own lives, they just don't bother about "you".

sometimes_miss

01-19-2016, 07:21 AM

i think its nigh impossible for anyone to do that.
It's quite possible. I had a stalker on google+/youtube. He/she figured out: how old I am, that I'm a CD/TG, my hobbies and approximately how deeply I'm involved in them, that I'm divorced, active on dating sites, educational status, narrowed down where I worked to a couple of companies, what position I might have held, where I live (down to the county), what I do for a living within a couple of occupations (as I had commented as knowledgable about several things so they figured out that I was most likely still working in one of those fields), and this was just by combining short comments on youtube videos over the years. I closed that account. The stalker? Judging by his writing and knowledge base, most likely a male, late teens, nerd type with a weird compulsion to collect a certain appliance. He didn't like me challenging his expertise. So he decided to find a way to discredit me by proving I wasn't an expert in that field (which I never claimed to be, I had just suggested that his fanaticism about a certain product, and assumption of it's greatness proved that he was a crackpot).
So yes, people can put together lots of tiny bits of information to figure out who we are. Not all crackpots are ignorant, or stupid.

Kate Simmons

01-19-2016, 08:08 AM

If that were to happen, they would have to explain what THEY were doing on this site. :)

Lily Catherine

01-19-2016, 10:37 AM

I'd contend that I was first out to the world when I signed up at this site. In a sense of knowing I wasn't alone, and putting a public front for this side of me. That said, lurkers who simply nick your images for their own purposes aren't unheard of and are a genuine concern.

~Joanne~

01-19-2016, 10:57 AM

I just googled My name, it brought up tons of pictures of women, none of them me en femme. It also didn't find my avatar but I am thinking maybe the squiggles in front and behind my name helps with that, I could be wrong. having a facebook page or twitter account for your femme self will certainly increase the chances of someone you know finding your pictures since they criss cross all over the place.

Just posting them here and no where else though? it's unlikely but your never know, Renie did find lorileah's fairly easily but then again lorileah is probably on a few sites other than this one (an assumption here) and she is out openly about who she is so I am sure she doesn't care.

It's the admirers you have to worry about, especially the ones on youtube, they collect pictures here to make their compilation videos of CD's because I have watched one that had a couple of girls here in them. I should have saved it because I wanted to bring it to their attention but unfortunately I didn't.

Sallee

01-19-2016, 11:38 AM

I have been on this site for a long time I also have a face book page and I have never had a problem. Ithe FB page worried me for a bit but so far no problem. I think if some one ran across you here or on FB they won't say anything because, 1) they wouldn't be sure it was you, and 2) what are they doing here in the 1st place.
We often see people with photos on this site and I know it is because they are paranoid, but they really is no need to worry.

Sarasometimes

01-19-2016, 12:46 PM

This site is big reason for my DADT situation (for the better, i think). Many years ago I was visiting this site many times per day and I had no clue about a search history. Well my wife found it and ask me why i was here and with a dear in the headlights look i said "It interests me." She said nothing in reply, shut off the computer and we went to bed. One sleepless night by me and she has never brought it up again. i was too unsure of where I was at with it at the time to use the opportunity to discuss it.
I don't need feedback about how I handled this from anyone who doesn't personally know me, my wife and my family, thank you.

CallmeAlice

01-19-2016, 12:51 PM

I know the feeling and no I have not. The people I want/ would like to know that I cd already know. The other people who dont know probably will never know. I dont use this site around others and I dont really post pictures to this site, or the internet really. So I've never been outed by this site.

Lorileah

01-19-2016, 12:56 PM

Lori, I found you right away just with Lori Leah! I'm sending you a PM with your facebook page and your business website.

aye BUT I want too be found. I am not in the closet, finding me isn't hard to do, especially on my professional business page.

Finding my ex-male identity would take more work, but not impossible as I have linked them several times. NOW finding someone here, who is closeted and uses a nom-de-plume is harder Linking them to their male side even harder yet. But like the post above, if someone googles my name, they will get a lot more people who AREN'T me mixed in

Edit: and I want to be found as an entertainer too...You will find me on a few bar websites where I perform

Sarah Louise

01-19-2016, 01:02 PM

I just googled My name, it brought up tons of pictures of women, none of them me en femme. It also didn't find my avatar but I am thinking maybe the squiggles in front and behind my name helps with that, I could be wrong.

I just googled my femme name and three pictures of me came up (my current and two previous avatars) along with loads of avatars of members of this site as well as the crossdressers.com logo. No one in the 'real world' knows my femme name so I think it's unlikely anyone will search for it in relation to me. I don't think many do, but anyone worried shouldn't use their real name.

IamWren

01-19-2016, 01:22 PM

If someone spots you on this site, it will be a two way street, why are they on the site? i wouldnt be too worried, like others said, just block faces. BIO etc.

As to why they are on this site... I'm sure there are some (if not many) on this site who have joined with the intention of 1) collecting pics and/or 2) of hooking up with a CDer.

I worry a little about picture collectors and using our images on other sites without permission. Not that I have posted any pinup pics of myself but I have seen some pics in the gallery that would make a CD admirer get more than just a tingly feeling in his special place.

I just googled my femme name and my avatar showed up first then about a dozen avatars of those on my friends list as well as many of the threads I've replied and been active on. It appears as though there is no other Sayyidah Neshama in the world... well, at least not on the interwebs. Not sure how I feel about that.

Sandra

01-19-2016, 01:28 PM

The only threads that show up that members have posted in is those that are open for the public to see eg MtF, TS section not body issues.

It's quite simple if you don't want to be outed by this or any other site then don't use your real name and don't post any pics of yourself.

mykell

01-19-2016, 03:14 PM

i think people are outed here on a regular basis, not from people stumbling into info found here....when you first sign up you have notifications....thanks for joining CD.com, first friend request, first personal message, all send notifications to a members e-mail right.....

so if someone is too connected with theyre devices and theyre social media they may be unintentionally outed when those devices light up like christmas trees when they receive e-mails from CD.com....not being ready for them when those devices share that info with each other in the presence of friends, family, the GF or unknowing wife....i would say many that want to belong initially are spooked by this and dont participate after they join, just look at how many never post after the intro, lots of zeros....

so many sign up and you never here from them after, i understand having the notifications but it may be a deterrent to some who first join....

Judith96a

01-19-2016, 03:33 PM

I'm on FB too. I've also googled both my full femme name (as per Facebook) and my moniker on here. I've found avatars of some of us, but not me! I've also found images of women who share my name, but not one image of me, either from here or FB. Perhaps I'm not entering the correct search term but...

TaraGrace

01-19-2016, 03:35 PM

Well.. Facebook is the only real no-no for me, because it's proven more then once to 'introduce' you to people you might know based on various of factors.. be very very carefull with that.

Katey888

01-19-2016, 03:55 PM

I'm pretty sure we've had members that have been accidentally outed to family through... errmm... inadequate IT understanding - just leaving the browser and logon details available...

I'm not aware of anyone that would be tracked down any other way... photos are the big thing - ESPECIALLY if you've posted a boy/girl pic and used the boy pic elsewhere... very bad indeed... :facepalm: (which is why you only get to see the real male me if you meet me... ;))

I'd screen all employee applicant pics through here - wouldn't it be great to be able to positively discriminate and have another guy to talk foundation and heels to at the water cooler or the smoking hutch... :daydreaming:

Of course, we also probably have some folk here who aren't necessarily as authentic as they may want us to believe... one in particular is lighting up my radar over the past couple weeks... ;)

Katey x

reb.femme

01-19-2016, 04:06 PM

I was really disappointed that I hadn't been outed by this site, so I attached my website in my signature :heehee:.
2729 visitors when I checked tonight.

Becky

Belladdresser

01-19-2016, 04:14 PM

Thanks everyone for all the good info. I now remember how I had to be a new member for a few days to prove my sincerity before seeing the full site. The next time I dress up, I'll take some comparison pics for the boy/girl thread. I'm pretty IT savvy, so I don't worry about anyone finding this site in my history or seeing notifications pop up on my phone. Everyone here is so friendly and supportive. I wish we could all meet up for a girls night.

sara.rafaela

01-19-2016, 04:32 PM

I do not think you could get outed by this site. Someone on this site would probably be a cross dresser too.

I have been concerned about being outed another way. I do not know if it is a real possibility. I am assuming sites like Facebook use facial recognition software. Then, someone wants to take a picture with me at a bar. They post it on their site. The software searches for the distance between the eyes, length of nose, etc. and I get tagged, and the tagged photo gets posted on my own Facebook page. For this reason I decline to get photographed by other people when I am out.

StefaniLara

01-19-2016, 05:28 PM

I almost outed myself on Facebook. I posted a picture of myself on my Stefani page and accidentally tagged my male profile. I quickly deleted it and blocked myself, which is kind of funny. I was worried for about a week, but after that I calmed down. No one noticed. I'm not worried about being outed on here. I have enough other sites for people to discover me and they haven't yet. If it happens, well I'll just have to deal with it.

ReineD

01-19-2016, 05:33 PM

aye BUT I want too be found. I am not in the closet, finding me isn't hard to do, especially on my professional business page.

Yes, I know this :), but I was responding to your statement that the bartender couldn't find you. He mustn't have been very good at googling.

Samantha_Smile

01-19-2016, 07:29 PM

Never been outed because of ANY site. Let alone one that requires membership before viewing photos.

Dana44

01-19-2016, 07:49 PM

I just googled my name and got pages and pages of Dana44 parts and compared to Dana 30 and Dana 60. LOL No fear here.

JanePeterson

01-19-2016, 07:56 PM

So funny!! I should am choose a name that related to jeep parts!!

flatlander_48

01-20-2016, 12:34 AM

Finding most people online who have secret lives (ie crossdressing) without certain pieces of information is not an easy task

For some, maybe, but my situation is a bit different. I've never exactly tried to cover my tracks. I use the same user name on all of the forums I subscribe to. The only difference is that some don't accept special characters, so some user names don't have the _. What I subscribe to covers crossdressing, LGBT issues, motorsports, cycling and travel; 15-16 sites in all.

To date, I have not had family or friends stumble onto this site and discover that I am here. Or, if they have, no one has mentioned it. On the other hand, when I outted myself back in October, I did direct my daughter and son to this site, as well as some friends.

However, someone joined here a couple of years back that recognized my user name from a motorsports forum that we both frequented, but that's been the extent of it. However, I do wonder about the logic of allowing avatars to be externally visible.

DeeAnn