Made a new friend at work

[Allison Chaynes]

So I have a female friend at work who is totally different from any other woman I think I have ever met. From day one, she told me about her interest in astrology. After a couple weeks working together (in clothing retail), I asked if she had big plans for Christmas. She told me she would be meeting with clients for her side business, and told me she films couples doing their thing as a side gig. So last week she mentioned that she was feeling down thinking about a relationship that had ended a year ago. Basically all I did was listen and offer empathy. I could tell she wanted to get something off her chest and she was trying to test the waters to see how I would react. She finally told me she had been dating a woman and that she was bisexual. I don't know why but I felt that since she had trusted me enough to share that snippet, that maybe she could be the first woman outside of my wife, therapist and sister in law to tell about Allison. So I started by pointing out that the men's department where we were working that day was boring, and how much more colorful and exciting that women's clothing was. She laughed. We ended up being interrupted a few times but eventually I told her it was really cool that she trusted me enough to share, and that it really put me at ease what she said. She looked confused, and I just let the words out. "I am a crossdresser. Well, more than that, really, but yeah." Her response? "That is so COOL! I love feminine men! You have no idea!" So she ended up having to deal with a customer and we didn't get to finish the talk, but we are working together in the back room tomorrow prepping new deliveries for the store floor. I really can't wait to talk to her more.

Anyway, this is one of those rare few women who actually seems to be attracted to our world. To be clear, I am married and view this as a friendship, which she knows very clearly, but I thought it was an awesome moment to share here.

[Jazzy Jaz]

Cool! It's really great when you get to find a special person who you can trust and open up to and who gets you in a way few others do. I wish I had friends like that. Luckily I have my wonderful girlfriend. I hope you have a great day tommorrow!

[bridget thronton]

It is an awesome moment - thanks for sharing

[Katey888]

Allison, it was an awesome moment for you both... :cool:

You clearly connected with her and reciprocating her 'confession' with your own was a good move... And don't we wish we were all in the back room tomorrow/today with you for the ongoing conversation... ;)

Do come back and tell us!

Katey x

[EllieMayxxx]

That is awesome, im happy that you have made a new friend who accepts you.

[heatherdress]

Allison - Is it OK if she tells other employees? Could disclosure present some career risks? She may be cool but will she be discreet? Will your secret disclosure stay secret in the future? I just believe the workplace is always a risky place to share personal information, behavior and opinions that you would prefer to keep private.

[audreyinalbany]

well I 'd just be a little careful. You don't know where it might lead when you start sharing intimacies with co-workers; not just in disclosure to other employees, but in possibly encouraging further intimacies. Just sayin'

[S. Lisa Smith]

As Audrey mentions, it is a very fine line to walk. I am sure that things will work out just fine, but be careful!!

[MarciManseau]

Maybe you should tell her about this site. She may find someone special here for a new and amazing relationship. I'm sure a lot of the girls here are single and would love to meet an accepting women.

[Allison Chaynes]

Heather- this is just a part time job that I don't see going anywhere, so I'm not too worried, however, given how prudish a couple co workers are, she wants her secrets kept quiet also. I felt there was no risk of either of us outing the other.

Audrey- good point, but I think it's quite clear to both of us this is strictly a friendship.

Marci- I may direct her here. She was only at work briefly yesterday so we have not had a chance to continue our conversation.

[Tracii G]

I figured there would be a few to put you down for telling her but I think its really great that you connected with her.
You will always have your few that are too afraid to open up like you did and I find it sad.Only you were there,you know her better than we do and if it felt right to you I support you for going for it!!
There was a girl in her mid 20's at the time running a check cashing place I used for a short time and I always complimented how great she looked and how cute her outfits were.
She said not many guys knew womens jeans brands like I did and asked how did I know?
I said well I'm a CD/TG person and she said thats cool I would have never know by looking at you.
This was before I started dressing more 50/50 or in between genders.
We swapped a bunch of clothes just for fun several times and we still shop together a couple times a year.
She is married and has 2 kids and loves her family and its never been anything but a friendship.

[Amy Fakley]

Oh that is sooo wonderful for you!
Having a friend at work who knows the real me (and isn't a career risk), would be a dream come true.
Let us know how it goes!!

[Diversity]

That is an AWESOME moment! Wish I had someone like that to converse with. You are fortunate to have found this person. I am fortunate to at least have this forum, which has been so beneficial to me.
Di