Elegance

[Tina_gm]

I was in my own little world one day, not too long ago thinking about myself in relation to TG. For me, the one thing that most stands out that I like about femininity is Elegance. It is IMO, femininity in one of its truest forms. Something that pretty much any cis gender male is not capable of, not that they would ever want it.

I am not the 6 inch stiletto type of girl. Hey, that stuff has its place for fun and all, but what I truly admire the most is the elegance that a woman can bring. It is one of humanities greatest gifts, the truly elegant woman. The truly elegant woman shines in all she does. She brings elegance into everything she says, does and of course, wears. There can be elegant dresses, shoes, what have you, but what makes them really come alive is the elegant woman wearing them.

She is ageless, timeless, and a truly elegant woman only shows confidence, not the uppity arrogance seen all too often. It isn't what you wear, or what you do, it is how you wear it, how you do it. That is what I so admire and dream about being. If I was born as a woman, I would want most to be an elegant woman.

[mykell]

very well put GM,
i think what makes it that way is they are not even aware they are doing it as its part of theyre being, at times i even see the girls here that way....

edit:

was thinking at times i may feel Elegant but dont think i convey it outward, especially when im out in public, then i think im still in an awkward state as its still too new for me....

[Tina_gm]

Oh, there are definitely girls here than can and do pull it off. Then again, they are not cis gender males either lol. I do not think one HAS to be a natural born female to have it. I am elegant at least in my own head lol.

[Lorileah]

It is IMO, femininity in one of its truest forms. Something that pretty much any cis gender male is not capable of, not that they would ever want it.




I have some very elegant male friends. So I disagree. Now the question, how does one define elegance? What is the boundaries. Can I wear gold earrings or do they have to be diamonds? Princess Grace is but Queen Latifa isn't? I kinda know what you are saying but if we narrow femininity to what you believe is elegance you are eliminating most the women (and the TGs here) in the world.

What if a woman isn't "graceful" what if she walks instead of glides?

[Samantha Clark]

I'm sure you are on to something here. I think my desire and my attraction to the feminine is driven by that devine elegance of the likes of my idol, Ingrid Bergman. Ahhh if only I could capture that in my mirrored gaze!

[Tina_gm]

LoriLeah, I know that elegance in itself is something that is personal of each unique opinion. What makes an attractive man or woman to one person may be a turn off to another. I know the same thing can hold true when it comes to what one perceives as elegance. I did in part describe my view of it. Although I want to make clear that I do not equate all that is feminine to elegance. Simply that I feel elegance that I view it is a pure form of it. I personally have never seen a man to be elegant, not a cis gender male anyway. Stylish, sophisticated, graceful perhaps (my wife says I am graceful) but I do not or at least have not ever seen one that I can describe for myself as elegant. I respect your view of elegant as much as my own and anyone elses.

[donnaS]

The dream of dreams!
Maybe one day, maybe.

[Helen_Highwater]

For me, the one thing that most stands out that I like about femininity is Elegance. It is IMO, femininity in one of its truest forms. There can be elegant dresses, shoes, what have you, but what makes them really come alive is the elegant woman wearing them.

GM,

I know exactly what you're saying. Elegance isn't about being able to afford particular items. It's a way of behaving. A way of carrying oneself so as to present an image. Some may call it class. It's a fine line between class/elegance and snobbery. Class is something money can't buy. Elegance I hope can be learned, copied or there's no hope for many of us.


I have some very elegant male friends.

Lorileah,

Absolutely true, but it's a slightly different type of elegance. It complements female elegance in as much as female elegance complements it but is distinct in it's own way. The differences are subtle I'll admit but it is different.

When I'm out and about I try to carry myself with yes some form of elegance and poise. It could be described as looking like you belong. being confident, believing in yourself and trying to look your best while engaging with others on a human and sympathetic level.

[NicoleScott]

I like femininity and elegance, too. I can't define them, but as Potter Stewart said "I know it when I see it." Of course, he was talking about something else. For me, elegance requires the absence of uppity arrogance.

[Nadine Robles]

Always one of the things I envy the most about girls. If only I was as elegant as I am awkward!!!

[ChristinaK]

Maybe I'm too old, but most women I see today are the antithesis of elegant.

When women wore dresses every day (50s and prior) they did exude elegance, as wearing a dress almost demands it. Watch movies on TCM and you'll see what I mean.

City women tend to wear more dresses, so maybe in my hick town our demographics prevent me from observing what I so desire to see.

Last weekend I was in SF on a Saturday night and did observe several women in dresses. Unfortunately, they were too tight, too ****ty and none could walk in stilettos.

Hope I didn't offend anybody :-)

[Julia1984]

Hi. Interesting post!
I was trying to think of examples of elegant men. The best I could come up with was the young David Carradine as Kwai Chang Cain ( which means I'm showing my age I suppose). The point is that elegance comes from self control and self possession, I suppose. Though he was "only" acting of course. Aren't we all, in one way or another, though?
Julia

[Robin414]

Great post GM! As a guy I was elegant but in a macho way, rocked designer clothes, Tom Ford sunglasses, and a Billy Idol snarl 😂
256456

As a chic I don't fit too much designer stuff but I still have the attitude and I'm still elegant but in a femme way...I'm stil a girl watcher but but lately with a different motive 😉

[docrobbysherry]

No way I can do "graceful". But, "elegant"? I mite take a whack at that----------------:daydreaming:

256473

[bridget thronton]

I think men like Cary Grant are definitely elegant in the same way Lauren Bacall or Kathryn Hepburn are

[marshalynn]

A elegant woman to me is someone with poise, very strong confidence, very sure of her self, no matter what her age is, always looks nice no matter what she is wearing, work clothes or a lovely gown and heels. Marshalynn

[Alice Torn]

I would say a true gentleman, gentlemanly, is a kind of elegance. Clark Gable, James Stewart, Christopher Plummer, Bruce Wayne of Batman, Alfred, his butler. Singer Nat King Cole was another. It does not take riches, for a man or woman to have class, or elegance. Poor people can buy very elegant clothes at thrift or charity stores, or ebay today. Too few try to better themselves, sadly. I suppose even elegant people have to do laundry, got to the toilet, put pants on one leg at a time, but have elegance even in mundane things. GG's seem to have an easier time , are more gifted that way. Great thread!

[Beverley Sims]

A favourite subject of mine, my signature endorses that.

[Katey888]

Interesting point GM - I've used the word before in an aspirational sense (and have been lucky enough to have it used about me - thanks Becks: the cheque's still in the post... ;)) - and I'll go with the OED definition as usual:

The quality of being graceful and stylish in appearance or manner
That says it all for me - and I think you're right about it not being the 'what' but the 'how'...

As to cis-males... I'm afraid the 21st century has become the end of elegance... I suspect that the '30s and '40s (maybe '50s) were the last periods of male elegance and our modern world favours machismo, bulk and kevlar over the real elegance, grace and style of the likes of Astaire, William Powell and Leslie Howard... Fashion has a lot to do with it... and what is deemed to be fashionable and desirable in the role models of today. I can't say that there are many female celebs that seem to have elegance at the top of their list of aspirations, to my mind - but how much is that because elegance is somehow related to formality...?

I also can't think of anything much worse than exemplifying inelegance in any way...

Katey x

[Lorileah]

maybe a definition of elegance? I am still not getting the "women can be but men can't be" view. Certain things aside (such as every man who played 007 was elegant and he didn't do it do compliment the women but to attract women), I have friends who are "cis" male (Cisgender (often abbreviated to simply cis) describes related types of gender identity perceptions, where individuals' experiences of their own gender agree with the sex they were assigned at birth...which would include every man who isn't TG is some way)and are way more elegant than most the T's I know. On both ends of the scale I would venture to say...maybe ostentatious to subtly sexy.

What you perceive as elegant I have no problem with, but saying that a gender (cis-gender) specifically cannot be bothers me. So, tell everyone who your female (cis or otherwise) example of "elegance" is...but don't throw things at male (cis or otherwise). My other issue is do you HAVE to be a TG to be elegant (NB TG as we use it here in the definitions)? You see, once again we are labeling people, even people on these boards as one vs the other

[mykell]

i once described a women as dapper, you'd of thought i had just insulted her, a synonym of elegant, so i think the OP was addressing the way some women carry themselves when dressed "to the nines" in particular, where as men are most times described as mentioned "dapper", "suave", "debonair", "smart" or dude you clean up well, so as defined men can be Elegant.....i think they preferred to be called suave and debonair....dont really remember women describing bond men as elagant...

Elegance is a synonym for beauty (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beauty) that has come to acquire the additional connotations (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Connotation) of unusual effectiveness (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Effectiveness) and simplicity (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simplicity).

[Tina_gm]

To Lorileah- My thread here is only for the intent of something "I" like and appreciate. I get it by many of you, who are making mention of male elegance. It is not how I personally view it, but to each their own, and I have made mention of this in my second post. Also, I do not think that what I personally favor is in any way diminutive toward women who do not possess elegance. I never say that it is a must have to be feminine, or that feminine=elegance. To me, how I view elegance is a how of femininity. There are lots of ways of feminine expression. presentation, mannerisms, motherhood etc etc.

Women especially are able to say what type of man (or woman) they prefer. No one bats an eye, or holds them in any way in a negative view for their personal preferences, whatever they may be. I am not really sure why I must be held to a different standard?

To Katey, I have been thinking a lot lately about how the machismo of western society, mostly the U.S. seems to be on the rise, drastically lately. But, in a way that is Not really bold, nor classy. I am probably going to be starting a thread on it.

[Sky]

I don't think there is a timeless recipe for elegance, be it male or female. Gable and Hepburn look dapper to theirs and our generation, but an 18th century colonist -him in a long buttoned coat, white wig and walking stick, her in a petticoat, lace apron and god-I-can't-breathe-corset- would have sneered at them. Bell bottoms, cork platforms and afros looked great in 1973. I am rooting for a future where we all will wear triangle-shaped lapels and head antennas like the Jetsons -but I might have to wait a little longer.

[pamela7]

I suppose in english english we'd use "suave" for the male form of elegance, both can be an "elegant dancer" though.
If for example, one holds Audrey Hepburn or Grace Kelly as exemplars of elegance, it's a high bar for everyone!
We can achieve "smart", "chic", "dashing", "well-dressed" more readily.

I've not thought about this before. I don't know why i like to dress as i do, though i feel i now know why it makes me so happy. The style, well, it's mine.

Below is a link to a page of 40 awesomely elegant ladies clothing from the 40's. :-)

http://www.marieclaire.co.uk/blogs/544203/1940s-fashion-the-decade-captured-in-40-incredible-pictures.html