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EnglishBeth
01-24-2016, 05:43 PM
Up until a couple of weeks ago, I was feeling very overwhelmed. I know that I want to be female and have accepted that this isn't going away and my attempts to 'conform' haven't changed how I feel. This was, as I say overwhelming me and I knew that I had to do something. Two things that I have done is to see my GP for a referral to a gender clinic, which I'm now waiting on, whilst the other was to come out completely to a friend at work.

A couple of weeks ago I went into hospital for minor surgery (nothing life threatening or changing), which has meant that I have been laid up for the last couple of weeks, unable to go out, go to work or do very much at all! During this time, the feelings of being overwhelmed have dampened considerably. My feelings haven't changed and I still very much know where I want to be.

My theory for the overwhelmingness (it should be a word!) is that during this time I haven't had to play a role and be something that I don't want to be. I haven't had to be the man at work or in other environments. That doesn't mean that I've become ultra feminine at home, but I haven't had to play up to be something else. There could be a hundred and one other reasons for me feeling a bit more at ease (not totally), but this made sense to me.

With this in mind, I am now starting to get a bit concerned about my return to 'normality' in a couple of weeks.

Anyone else had experiences like this or able to offer any advice?

Rachel x

Bambi87
01-24-2016, 05:51 PM
Hey Rachel, I completely understand what you mean. Everything got a little too much for me these last few weeks and I ended up having a few weeks off work with it. I too noticed it was nice to be myself. I've completely transitioned at work but they still often call me by my old name etc. I've been there 9 years so I guess its hard to come round especially since my uniform can't change. I'm now back at work and already hate hearing that name. I thought about changing jobs so only the real me and my new name is known but its so scary out there :)

Hugs Becky x