After "Play Time" I feel like it's a crime scene cleanup!

[Judy-Somthing]

Do you feel like it's a crime scene cleanup.

Last week I drove half way to work and thought to myself, did I get rid of the (eye makeup remover pads)?

I turned around and and went straight home. There they were sitting on the edge of the sink. My wife doesn't use makeup remover pads.

Then last night I had a little to much GIN and this morning when I woke up and went to my computer, guess what, it was still on and on this site.http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/images/smilies/shocked.gif

Maybe I'm trying to get caught.

And forget wig hairs falling everywhere.

[Helen_Highwater]

Judy,

I know just what you're saying about a crime scene. The number of times I've checked all the rooms I've been in especially the bathroom and bedroom after returning to drab....and then had to check them again just to be sure they're clear. Paranoia can be a good thing.

[ChristinaK]

I feel the same way. Checking for hairs, foundation on the towels, etc.

A couple of days ago I left everything out and was going to clean it up after I came back home from being a dude, got busy and didn't go back into my bedroom. Fortunately I have a small bladder and went to my bedroom bath. Yikes! I cleaned everything up quickly, clothes, forms, makeup, etc. Just before my wife got home.

She knows some things, but doesn't know others and we have a DADT relationship. Man, that would have been a shock to her and a blow to me.

What a dork I am sometimes.

[kittie60]

Yup, those were the days. Had to make sure everything was picked up and in its place,triple check the face for.no left over makeup, and lets not forget are wig.strands if you wore a wig and tell tale nail Polish. God I miss those days.lol. I'm alone so I don't worry about it anymore, but thinking back it was hillarious.

[flatlander_48]

Paranoia can be a good thing.


Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you're always afraid
You step out of line, the man come and take you away


DeeAnn

[NicoleScott]

It takes attention to details to leave no evidence. That is, to an unsuspecting wife. If she suspects and is trying to catch you, there's not enough paranoia to prevent that. Then it comes down to luck.
I did really good for a long time, making sure there was no evidence in the bathroom trash can or toilet. I always made sure I accounted for all ten adhesive nail tab backings, not to mention all ten nails. 9=panic. Find it!
She's not blonde but my wig is, so I vacuumed. And emptied the dust bag/bin. But some hairs wrap around the roller brush. Where does it end?
For me (and the marriage) it was a windstorm that blew over the garbage can, and she found a pantyhose package that wasn't her size.
Yes, a crime scene is a good description.

[Genny B]

Reading this tread and suddenly realized I left nail polish by the computer! Whew! This tread may have saved me this time!

Genny B

[Lauri K]

I can not really comment on this post other than to say I feel am very lucky that I do not have to hide much these days..

But that has not always been the case.

I have to say though that there is no way to hide being a CD/TG over a long period of time, you will make a mistake or you may even out yourself without even knowing it, been there.

So always be prepared to take your medicine and or provide your plea of innocence, because that day will come along, it's just a matter time of when it will.

Poor Nicole got caught by a thunderstorm causing a trash can to reveal the evidence

[Lexi Moralas]

I thought I was the only one that felt like this. And as time went on I got careless and after too many close calls I actually got caught getting out my stash out of hiding one night. The she was like a blood hound found the tiniest things I could imagine
In place I never would have thought of.
Now I have to be so careful its Insane.

[threeheavenshigh]

Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you're always afraid
You step out of line, the man come and take you away


DeeAnn

Ha! Sweet.

Yeah, the split chance master criminal luck has saved me a few times. Generally though, since age 10 I have daily existed at a CIA level of intrigue. Being CD has taught me all sorts of life skills. lol

[CourtneyJamieson]

Boy can I relate to this post as well. Double and Triple checking every room I have been in. One day I noticed that I had left powder on the bathroom sink faucet. I had wiped out the bowl but not the actual faucet and there was powder on the top of the faucet. And my SO doesn't wear powder. Luckily I discovered it in time. Now I check everything on the bathroom vanity. And I am always paranoid about leaving some miscellaneous garment or piece of lingerie out after changing back into drab. And this morning I was trying to get the hang of eyeliner again (For the 100th time) with no success. I must have wiped, washed, and re-checked my eyes 25 times to make sure I didn't have residual eyeliner left on my lids. And throwing stuff away.....I hide it in McDonalds bags or newspapers before throwing in the trash. And don't even get me started on the computer. Just when you think you have all of your tracks covered, something new pops up which could "out" you if discovered. But I think this is part of what I enjoy about CDing. I like the "game" of not being discovered. And I say this not to be deceitful to my SO. If she ever found out and confronted me I would be perfectly fine having the conversation with her regarding my "hobby" and I "think" she would be understanding. But I really don't think she would welcome this news so I would just as well keep it private if possible. I think we all have "secrets" we keep from our SO just for the sake of not shaking up the apple cart. Some guys don't tell their SO about the viewing of Porn sites. Some guys don't tell their SO about losing a few $100 at the casino. Some guys don't tell their SO about going out with their buddies and flirting with a girl. Some guys don't tell their SO about all the $$ they have spent on their stamp collection. I just don't view having a few secrets as being deceitful. I know others disagree and think you should disclose everything to their SO and I applaud them for their honesty and forthrightness but I just don't feel the need to include my SO in every nuance of my life.

- - - Updated - - -

Oh, and here is one more for you. A while back I was going out in Fem wear and was driving and it was nighttime. I had put on acrylic nails. After reaching my hotel room I realized that 2 of my nails were missing. You can only imagine the search that took place to locate those 2 missing nails. I searched the hotel room, my bags, and then my car. I finally found the nails under the driver's seat in my car. Whewwww, what a relief. I can only imagine the explanations if my SO would have found those nails when she drove my car instead of hers.... "No Honey, I didn't have another woman with me, those are actually my nails". I don't know which would have been the more uncomfortable conversation.

[Wen4cd]

I never get to that level of secrecy unless we're expecting company.

Usually my wife is like: "I'm doing a load of whites, got any tranny clothes back there you need washed?"

But she does get mad if I don't clean up after myself, "Your girly side isn't "driving the car" (her term for being the dominant mode) if you leave a huge mess around like a neanderthal cretin."

*PS yes "tranny" is the preferred term in my house. My choice.

[Judy-Somthing]

So a few weeks ago this site was making me feel good about myself, so I said to my wife (who only thought I dressed a few times when I was young and a couple of times for Halloween)
I thinks it would be fun to wear a dress, well she freaked.

Of course I didn't plan ahead, I had five bags of THE STUFF in the cellar. Well she got real busy trying to sort out what I just said.

I ditched everything in my car.

The next day , just like on the ID channel I remembered the surveillance system we have and had to erase the video of me putting stuff in my car a 12:00 PM

[Gretchen_To_Be]

This is why, before I bought any items of women's clothing, I came out to my wife. Now I have my femme wardrobe in my walk-in closet, and she's free to see whatever I have. I will admit that I occasionally buy a new pair of heels without telling her, but then I always buy a pair of the same in her size, just in case she likes them ;)

[Julie Denier]

I definitely know the feeling, Judy. This is why I do most of my dressing when I travel for work. On the rare occasions I do dress at home, I'm extra careful with clean-up.

[Robin414]

Yikes Judy...reminds me of the old joke...'When did you start cross dressing?....when my wife found panties and a bra in my truck 😧 ' 😂

Are you trying to get caught...I'm not a phsycologist but I'd say yes, absolutely!

Hiding causes a LOT of latent stress and getting 'caught' kinda takes the anxiety of volunteering to conciously 'come out'... out of the equation.

It's not a bad thing and of course YMMV but it might be a good thing!

[Dana44]

i always call them panty runs. Always when i leave a hotel or something. I do a panty run around to see if I left anything. Did that with a lot of my women and they always started calling it that also.

[Nadine Robles]

Sometimes I think its the thrill of trying not to get caught what makes the real excitement about all this...
After many years I-ve become kind of sloppy (Like Judy said maybe some unconscious part of us wants desperately to get caught) and I had no choice but to take baby steps out of the closet. Just today I confessed shaving my chest hair (I have very few hair and spotted patterns so is easy to understand) it was no big deal at all! what a relief. Already told some long time ago I like to try make up (many young men do and were a little into gothic, dark-wave fashion so she loved the idea) even does my eye liner now. Same thing with unisex body splash, cologne, and creams so smelling kind of "girly" is allowed /another win for Nadine/ I just have to get it slowly to the clothing part. So far the SO turned it down, says it turns her off, but I know we[ll get there... (dumping her and finding another partner is not an option)

[OCCarly]

Thank God I am fully out to my wife. But she wants that part of me kept secret from the rest of the world, and she has some friends who like to drop by on short notice. So I've had a few scrambles around the house grabbing size 11 heels and tossing them into the den closet. One time I did a workout on my treadmill in a sports bra, tank top, capri leggings and womens running shoes, and my wife suggested I cut the workout a little short because her friend was coming over. Sure enough the friend showed up while I was in the shower.

[Kiersten]

I've been there a few times myself Judy. I left a slip laying over a chair in our bedroom, to this day I don't know how my wife didn't see it.(I'm still not sure How I missed after the numerous sweeps through the apartment). There were a few other close calls along the way, I started getting sloppy and that's when I finally came out to my wife.

Fast Forward 14 yrs later its strictly become a DADT situation with her but I'm thankful she knows.

[Samantha2015]

I don't have a SO to worry about seeing anything but at the end of a dressing day
my bedroom and bathroom looks like a girl bomb went off in there. Sooo much stuff.
Pulling everything out of the closet feels like opening a birthday present, putting everything away
is a little sad but I like knowing it is in there.

[Kimberley May]

My girlfriend came over to mine on Saturday morning to stay the night. After leaving her stuff in my bedroom and a quick coffee, she had to go to work that morning, only for a few hours before coming back to mine. While she was gone, I found one of my crop top bras blatantly lying on the bedroom floor which fortunately she didn't spot. Phew! I'd have trouble explaining that one away. Either tell her the truth or allow her to suspect that I'm seeing someone behind her back :heehee:

Kimbers

[Stephanie47]

My wife gives me hell for leaving my dirty socks on the living room floor. Also, my big man shoes. The last time she found a Vanity Fair red bra out, she picked it up and placed it on top of the dryer behind the doors. Before that it was a pair of white nylon Vanity Fair panties. Both times all she said was she found this or that and put them on the dryer. In the case of the panty, she even washed them with hers. Progress? Frankly, I had no clue where I left them. I wasn't trying to get caught because she already knows. The worst? I left two white water balloons used for simulated breasts in the kitchen sink. That was embarrassing. I make an effort to put everything away, but, alas, sometimes something just does not make it. I don't consider it sneaking around her back since it is DADT, and, I am more than willing to hang my dresses in the closet next to her dresses.

[PaulaQ]

That's how it used to feel to me, too. I don't miss those days. And yes, I suspect on some level, you are trying to get caught. Even if you aren't, the odds of an accidental reveal probably aren't in your favor.

[flatlander_48]

I suspect on some level, you are trying to get caught.

From some accounts that I've read on the forum, that thought might be beyond the level of hypothesis.

For me, fortunately everything is out in the open. In fact, my wife was the original spark behind the first time that I went out dressed. DeeAnn's clothes share closet space with Don's clothes. Up to about a year and a half ago I did hide my collection of shoes, except for a few pairs. Eventually I figured that this wasn't a good idea and one night we had a mini style show. Now when I buy something for DeeAnn, I make a point of showing it to my wife. I always like to open new items by myself and get a good look at them, but the next step is to show them to my wife.

DeeAnn

[bridget thronton]

DeeAnn makes a good point - showing my wife what I buy when I buy something is always received better waiting till the first time I wear it

[SherriePall]

My wife already knows, is not thrilled about it, and has never seen me.
With that said, whenever I get dolled up while she is out of the house, I do a thorough clean up just so I don't rock the boat (or she sees some item she doesn't know I bought). It's always so time intensive. Time which could be better spent dressed.
Oh, yes, add me to the press on nail group. I use either press-ons or glue-ons (trying not to use too much glue where I can't get them off) and I do lose one or two from time to time. Then it's down on the floor with a flashlight trying to find them

[SHY KIM]

While my SO knows of Kim and is a bit supportive, I may slip into "womanhood" on occasion without mention. Then it's full bore CSI clean-up. I also have older kids at home which also requires I be very detailed in my maid duties.

My SO and I have slowly been discussing Kim occasionally which allows me to open up a bit more each time. While I prefer guy mode 96% of the time, I'm hopeful in a few years I may be able to FULLY dress for an evening relaxing at home with her. For now I'm grateful she is accepting to my girl nights out on occasion wearing some lingerie to bed once in a while.

I don't know if I could pull off being totally in closet though. It sounds much to stressful.
Good luck to those that have to do so!!!
Kim

[Angie G]

Yes sometimes I do. And I have done the have way to work thing.:hugs:
Angie

[Brenda Freeman]

I too was a paranoid cross dresser. started so young borrowing my Moms girdle and hosiery and slip always careful to put it back just as I found them! Spent some years free to do what I wanted but never took full advantage maybe the thrill was not the same? married and had a few things stashed but finally told my wife and finally do not have to hide my things though I still feel the need for no trace cross dressing. It is funny to think about it this way love this thread! So true too!

[Michala]

Fully understand the dilemma. A few years ago my wive found one of my bras. At first she wondered if another woman had left it in our bedroom. She was somewhat relieved when I told her it was mine. Then wanted to know why I had a bra. Told her I sometimes liked to wear them, she was confused and it didn't make sense to her but she didn't say much more. Hasn't mentioned it since that time but I'm still careful. Pretty sure she didn't mind the idea of me wearing a bra from time to time but also pretty sure she would not like the idea of me being fully dressed. She does know that when we are intimate my breasts and nipples are very sensitive. Don't think that is uncommon in most men. And I do have man-breasts which fit in a bra pretty nicely. Sometimes think it would be so much easier to just tell her but also realize she is very conservative and am concerned how she would react to the full truth. Better for me at this time to just enjoy the few times I can dress and like Julie prefer to do most of it while traveling for meetings.

[DonnaP]

Judy you are more than right. I have forgotten so many different things I always find them before my wife but one time I dropped a Camisole and she found it all I got is this yours and I babbled some excuse can't remember but I'm sure she wonders and I am trying very hard to keep crime scene very clean so far so good. If I finally get caught I hope it all works out. Hugs DonnaP

[Danielle001]

I can definitely relate to this, as I've been dressing in private since I was a teenager living with my parents. My wife knows about my dressing, but is not involved. So I always try to be very careful cleaning everything up after dressing. One day when she got home, she was headed to the bedroom when I realized that I left a pair of nylons on the bed. I awkwardly slipped in the room before her and sat on top of them on the bed. She did eventually find them and was baffled how her nylons got there. Then she realized that they were mine, but she was fine with that.

I'm so programmed to keep my CDing a secret from everyone. It just created so much drama when I first came out to my wife 6 years ago, it almost destroyed our relationship. I never want to relive that. But at this point, I could probably be a little more relaxed about it with my wife and everything would be fine.

[wanda66]

I would love to be able to dress as i wish without any problems. I've benn together with my SO for 45 years. have i told her of my C Ding ,no .
Dose she know probably, but nothing is said.my cotton panties get washed and placed in with my things,and from time to time i will leave something behine that i shouldn't have. My hair is shoulder length , when ever i wear it out of a ponytail iam told i look like a girl ...now nothing is said,my hands are too soft for a man. I guess what iam asking is ..do we have a secret or do we just think we do?

[Jenny22]

Before my wife became mostly supportive, and I needed girl time, Whatever I used or wore was always in ONE place ..always! That way I never had to search the house to see what I might have missed ... except for a press on nail, once.

[sherri]

The OP is so funny, such a hilarious way to put it. :-) I think most of us can relate. I've had a few close calls, and actually dream about this very thing sometimes. I don't have to be as careful as I used to, but even now it doesn't pay to get too careless, never know when someone might drop by. Some things simply can't be explained away.

And like Samantha said, post cleanup can be such a chore. Back when I used to have to dress in my car the trunk would look like the aftermath of a tornado by night's end, and getting stuff back into the house had to be done in stealth mode, adding to the ordeal. Even now, living alone, stuff gets strewn all over the bedroom and bathroom, not something to look forward to after driving back from the city late at night, or even the next day. Kinda depressing. I finally learned to be more tidy, now I put all the prep things away as I get ready and don't leave the house til everything is cleaned up, and no more chaos in the car. Makes for a much nicer experience.

[Abbey11]

I can totally relate to this, I try to keep everything together as I undress and remove makeup to try and minimise the possibility of forgetting something. I have forgotten a foundation brush before now because it fell on the floor without my noticing, it was perched on the bathroom radiator a couple of days later so I took it back. As I have a teenage daughter I assume my SO or daughter thought it belonged to the other. No one said anything to me....phew xx

- - - Updated - - -


no left over makeup, and lets not forget are wig.strands if you wore a wig.
Kitties quote reminded me of the time my daughter said my eyes looked like I had eyeliner. :doh::doh:
And a long blond hair was left on the bathroom sink :doh::doh:

Dressing in secret can be a bit rushed and not great for the nerves. :sad:

[Sharon B.]

Although I now live alone and have left things out there have been times I had to do a rush job of getting things put up. I have a lady friend and it is a DADT situation but she usually calls before coming over.
If I don't have that to worry about then if I leave some makeup on so what or want to lounge around dressed as aa woman will do that also.
I do keep my body hairfree 24/7/365 and haven't heard anything about it.

[candykowal]

There are so many girls chiming in on your thread, I don't feel so alone in my closet...*giggle*
Yes, knowing where you been and retracing your steps is huge on my "crime scene" agenda.
After never finding two lost faux fingernails and a clip on earring, I got a little more careful! :battingeyelashes:

[Judy-Somthing]

When I was 17 (in purge mode) one day. I was planing to get rid of a dress, girdle, and nylons on the way to school.

I put them in a bag and placed the bag on the kitchen table while putting my coat on, I then went to school and forgot the bag!

I remember being a nerves wreck all day. I lived with two brothers, sister, mom, and dad.

Well when I got home the bag had been moved to the hall.

I made it disappear fast. No one ever said anything.

[sometimes_miss]

It's exactly this type of thing that eventually got me caught. Exhausted from working seven days a week and going to school, I had spent the evening studying wearing my girl things, changing back before wifey came home from work. Leaving my heels till last was a mistake, because I left a slip where she could find it while having trouble unbuckling the straps on my shoes, forgetting the slip. As usual, everything else got put away. But that one piece of 'evidence' that someone girly was there was my undoing. She accused me of seeing another woman; in retrospect, I should have gone with that story. I might have stood a better chance.

[Tara Rushing]

An awesome thread we can all relate to all this..



She's not blonde but my wig is, .

Luckily my little girls have blonde hair so that eases my mind about brushes, ect.....

[tifftg]

The crime scene analogy is perfect. Having to be aware of every detail. Organization and repitition have mostly protected me over the years. I always start with laying a large towel that stays with Tiffany's things so if I drop anything or powder falls or hairs from my wig they mostly end up there. That being said misplaced makeup brushes were the piece of evidence that caused me to admit after 20 years. I know why I thought I could hide it forever and am reminded tempting fate eventually catches up to you.

[threeheavenshigh]

I'm surprised to see faces on some avatars in this thread. Am I being too cautious not putting mine on there? I want to, but way too paranoid.

[Judy-Somthing]

I'm surprised to see faces on some avatars in this thread. Am I being too cautious not putting mine on there? I want to, but way too paranoid.

I put my photo as an avatar because it's the only way I go out in public, I don't think I'll ever actually walk out of my house in fem.

It's a bummer to spend so many hours to look fem then hide it away when the ride is over.

[Teresa]

Judy,
We know at some point we are going to slip up, my wife doesn't approve of my CDing but since attending my first social meeting she knows what I've done and why I've done it, so any slip ups may be accepted differently now. I wouldn't do it deliberately but the memory isn't what it use to be. All my stuff is out of sight but she knows where it is, stuffed in bags and boxes but the dress I wore to my first meeting needed to be carefully ironed so I took the chance of preparing it a few days before and tucked it at the back of a spare wardrobe, she may or may not have seen it but nothing was said.

I think your avatar is lovely, it's good to see the face that goes with the name.
I didn't think I'd ever walk out of the house dressed and last week I couldn't believe I was actually sitting in my car ready to drive out the drive fully dressed and didn't feel nervous at all.

[flatlander_48]

I'm surprised to see faces on some avatars in this thread. Am I being too cautious not putting mine on there? I want to, but way too paranoid.

Note that your avatar is visible without being logged in...

DeeAnn

[BettyMorgan]

Those were the days. That took a lot of energy and sprinkled with fear and guilt and depression. My situation now is different. I'm with a SO who is understanding. I can leave my belongings out (dresses and lingerie) and as long as I'm not wearing them, she's fine (although I hide my wig and forms from her, that may be too much for her lol).

I honestly think the energy I used to spend hiding my clothes and the worry of getting caught caused a lot of anxiety issues and exacerbated my depression at the time. Now life is better.

[Adriana Moretti]

I did an article on this very subject a few years ago, ya gotta be careful right ? After noticing some little details around the house i wrote this article..

So you spent the day dressed but your roommate,family,wife,girlfriend is coming home and nobody knows your little secret...here are a couple of little "clues" you may be leaving behind without even knowing it.

1. Wig Hair...inspect the floor and any other place you were well to see if there are any hairs that fell out of your wig. If your wig is your natural hair color no worries...but if its not......

2. Lipstick.....if you were sipping coffee...or any drink...check your glass.

3. Foundation Stains check the light switches and walls,refrigerator door etc...to see if you accidentally smeared some foundation on it. Also the towel you washed up with...and any tissues you may have used sitting very obvious at the top of the bathroom waste basket.

4. Heel Marks ..make sure your heels didn't scuff or mark up the floors.

Did I miss any?? I am sure I did these are just my personal big tell tale signs...leave a comment if you have one

[flatlander_48]

A M:

There are some things that may be common between one's regular and crossdressing wardrobes. For example, jackets, gloves and scarves/mufflers. Foundation and lipstick can rub off on any of those also...

DeeAnn

[Lily Catherine]

I empathise with your choice of words and analogy.

It's felt as though I did something wrong - justifiable 8 years ago when I experimented with my mum's clothes. Now that I've got my own, I still practise utmost caution due to the beyond-DADT nature of my family. Some drills include throwing all tissues into the toilet bowl rather than the dustbin, and refraining from buying excessively out-of-place contrasting garments.

[CallmeAlice]

Not anymore, what I lived with my parents it was because I didn't want to get caught. But no that I live in my own place and my girlfriend knows, not so much. When I have company over though I do clean up and make sure that know one knows/ could tell that I have.

[Beverley Sims]

Have had to make excuses for a wig left in the living room a couple of times.

It's amazing how many times my daughter has a school concert and has to wear a hairpiece. :-)

[Dinky39]

Number 1. It's way out of line to use your children to explain away various items you have failed to put away.
Number 2. Who is 'she' the cat's mother?? I find that term highly offensive-dismissive even.
I don't find any of this funny. A lot of people are still lying through their teeth to their wives but justify it by saying 'well,she knows i dress but she doesn't know i have/do x y z' . So,it's lie upon lie?? Damage limitation. Wrecks my head. It should be all or nothing.

[Charlotte Williams]

I feel like a closeted crossdresser would be the perfect person to commit a crime. They already have so much experience destroying all of the evidence...

That being said, I was caught when my ex went through my emails and found some online purchases for items she assumed went to another lover. What followed was the attempt to convince her everything was mine, forced me to come out, and then resent her for going through my private affairs, only for her to say it was justified since I was hiding something...cue Balkan Powder Keg

[Dinky39]

I knew my husband was hiding something throughout the years. I just knew. I thought it might have been a swiss bank account or something. :) All the little things I discovered were all explained away,making me think I was going mad. So,not only are we lied to constantly but we are also made to feel stupid&crazy. I think my husband is trying to keep the lid on the box closed but it's not
Working. I'm exhausted thinking about it all. Drinking wine helps-stops me thinking so much about it&helps me sleep otherwise I'm awake till all hours.
I'm going through one of my angry phases at the moment. I might be a bit more easygoing next week. Maybe.