Starting counseling

[donnaS]

Finally got the nerve to contact a counseler for transgender identity with possible HRT. So excited but scared at the same time. My wife knows about everything. I'm not sure how our relationship will be affected. I've got to go this.
It's been long time coming. My heart hurts for my wife. She must be in turmoil. Am I being selfish? I've got to be true to myself though.
So not easy.

[pamela7]

it's a very good way to be sure, one way or the other. It's not selfish, because the consequences of a mistaken decision made upon the wrong inputs is worse for everyone imho.

[Heidi Stevens]

Be truthful and honest to the therapist, Donna. If you really do have gender dysphoria, they will recognize it and work to help you out. Be very attentive to your wife. Tell her you love her and will try not to hurt her in any way, but you are in need of help.
If HRT is in your future, you will notice some changes right away. Your attitude and demeanor should change in just a few weeks. Your wife should pick up on the change too. Mine did. The physical changes will take a while. And if you are happy with early HRT results, you can go on hold and keep your dose the same. This will keep your physical changes in the slow lane while you think your future out. Good luck!

[ringo]

I don't thinking you are being selfish, in the end, if it's who you are. However, Heidi's right, you need to be honest with your therapist.

[Teresa]

Donna,
Be honest with yourself , go to counselling and be open and honest with them, they are there to help you.
I went through this agony of TS doubts and found that was just on the male side of the line so decided to keep things as they are. Yes I did have anxiety over my wife and family but I needed to know for everyone's sake but they were relieved. I know I still settled on a compromise because I wanted to dress more than my current life style permitted but I also accepted that I had commitments I just couldn't walk away from.
I hope it does go OK for you, you're not being selfish just trying to be truthful to yourself !

[Katey888]

If you're thinking of how this will affect your wife, then you're clearly not selfish. :)

Being true to yourself is not easy, but some things in life aren't - they just have to be got through if possible...

Good luck with the counselling - hope you get a good one... :D

Katey x

[donnaS]

I'm wanting to be subtle with the HRT. Nothing too dramatic. I still have to maintain lifestyle to an extent. I want the working girl look but be able to go out dressed nicely if I want.
This is so hard. My emotions roller coasting. Guilt for finally accepting me. Feeling aweful for my wife loosing her husband. She found out about all this 2 months into the marriage. What a jerk I am for not being up front with her! Scared to death about laying my true self onto the therapists table.
"I've got to do this" I keep telling myself.
I just won't have any peace until I do.

[TrishaLake]

Most important thing is your talking to someone, the thing that always ate me up was keeping it inside. Let it out, think about it and talk....