"you look more and more

[Meghan4now]

Like a girl every day"

My wife's comment this morning. Not intended as a compliment, but not quite an insult. Had to bite my tounge to not say "Thanks" or "You really think so?" Or "great, I was hoping so"

She walked in while I was putting on my mascara. She asked why I was wearing it, and I told her I like how it looks. Then she made the above comment. Of course she has the right to say it. Don't worry, I kissed her goodbye before we both went off to work, and she texted me a nice text later. Should I be disappointed that she didn't say anything about my toe nails with a fresh coat?

P.S. I usually try not to do my eyes in front of her, but there was a change in this morning routine.

[JeanTG]

Well if you look anything like your avatar and profile pic, I would say "more and more like a girl" is a total understatement. You are a girl, at least in my eyes! I hope you have a great day Meghan!

[michelleddg]

Pushing the boundaries, Miss Meghan. Good job trying to stay out of her face, and I think she's allowed an occasional opportunity for a release in response to the craziness. None of us signed up for this.

In my case, my wife got seriously concerned with all of the associated stress when I grew my hair out 5 years ago. I assured her it's not part of my CDing package (it isn't). It may have been needed for her to see me in my ultra feminine wig to be convinced of that. So, it is all good. She has actually said on many occasions she likes my long boy hair :-) Hugs, Michelle

[ilianar17]

A wild guess from me would be that she REALLY wants to support you, and she feels you, but she hasn't gotten used to it just yet and it is a little weird.

Unless she knows it for some time now and my lucky guess failed miserably.

[kittie60]

No,I wouldn't read to much into that statement or worry she didn't notice your toes. She might of had an off day, we all get them. Thing is, does she support your cd'ing or just so-so. If it's so-so then it might be time to excercise a little caution, but I think it was an off moment. Hope you have a good day.

[Meghan4now]

Yes,

It WAS a pink fog moment, but not too awful. The comment made me think though.

[Katey888]

Of course she has the right to say it. Don't worry, I kissed her goodbye before we both went off to work, and she texted me a nice text later. Should I be disappointed that she didn't say anything about my toe nails with a fresh coat?

Hmmm.... I get the feeling: "you look more and more like a girl every day" is enough of an all-encompassing slur without adding specifics to the mix - surely that would really be scoring too many points and looking to start a skirmish...? :thinking:

We are the sum of our individual parts, after all...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EfW9znJYjw

:D

Katey x

[Meghan4now]

Katey,

Certainly could be, and it was Not intended as a compliment ("yea my husband looks like a girl!") But on the other hand, I took no offense, and kept the good sense not to rub it in her face. No defensive response, no gloating. And making sure to be pleasant as we went on our separate ways. I do try to be more discreet, but on the other hand, I don't want to go scurrying off to the closet, acting nervous like something is wrong with a bit of mascara.

[Jenniferathome]

Pushing the boundaries, Miss Meghan....

I was thinking along these lines as well. Have you moved past some previous understanding? I think you have something to discuss tonight, just to make sure.

[Tina_gm]

You say it was not intended as a compliment- which I am thinking is she is not all too comfortable with CDing? She is perhaps making the comments about mascara and how you are looking more fem because either you are, probably, and she is just observing the obvious, and letting you know it is noticed. My real thought is that she is fishing for your reaction on this. How happy are you about this? is it your goal? I think this was a small way for info for her.

[Meghan4now]

She is aware of my proclivity, somewhat tolerant, not entirely comfortable. We have had discussions in the past, but somewhat limited. She does not like to discuss it at length, but little singles here and there. She would rather that I do not, and I believe that this is her way of saying that.

But she is also gracious enough to recognize that while she does not want to condone dressing et.al, it is something that I do, and will do. I think it is a comment of concern about Pink Fog (even though she had never heard the term).

The situation was not conciously deliberate, but Freudian slip? Should we have a conversation? Absolutely! Will that happen? Probably some time, but not necessarily tonight. She is a bury her head in the sand kind of person. Extremely difficult to get her to discuss anything remotely uncomfortable.

[Tina_gm]

M- Your wife must be a twin soul to my wife. Your description of her could not be any closer to my wife if you tried.

[Jenny22]

Hi, Meghan. Just curious. Do you remove the mascara before arriving at work? If not, have any of your associates ever commented on it? Do you also underdress for work? Do you wear any kind of feminine appearing outer wear to work? Have you ever thought of going to a therapist with your wife?

[Stephanie47]

Jenny, I was thinking the same also. Do you leave the mascara on at work? If so, what is the reaction of your coworkers?

[Saikotsu]

Perhaps she didn't notice your nails? As for the comment, it's obvious she's uncomfortable with it, and I read her remark as a "I'm concerned you're taking this further than I'm comfortable with."

I'd suggest giving her some "man" time. A reminder that you're still the man she married. A discussion in the near future is probably warranted too, but try to devote some time to her As a way to reassure her.

Make it clear that you're still being considerate of her needs. After all, she seems to be considerate of yours, even if she still is uncomfortable.

[Meghan4now]

Jenny, no it stays on, I wear glasses, so it is not as conspicuous as you may think. No one has ever mentioned it, and a couple of gals from here were surprized that it wasn't noticeable to them in the wild. Any underdressing is bottom down, and I don't go showing people my underware. No outerwear at work.

Therapist with wife is not something we've discussed. A few years back we were having a rough patch. (Nothing to do with dressing). Her opinion of counseling was that it was a checklist item on the way to divorce court.

Saikotsu, yes that is what that statement means. "Man" time.... I present outwardly as a man 95% of the time if not more, just a couple of grooming traits that could be construed otherwise. I do all the manly things that she is accustomed to, or wants. I fix things, spend time with her and the kids, church, scouts, etc. I don't think it's a lack of man time. She just isn't "into" the CD concept

[Amy Lynn3]

That comment your wife made could have been a warning shot across the bow, or, or, or, or it could have been a near miss. Meghan, just playing with words there, but I do feel you may have pushed a button. I can't tell you if it was a big one or small one. I think you did well to take cover and run. You are very, very smart.:)

[Saikotsu]

Jenny, no it stays on, I wear glasses, so it is not as conspicuous as you may think. No one has ever mentioned it, and a couple of gals from here were surprized that it wasn't noticeable to them in the wild. Any underdressing is bottom down, and I don't go showing people my underware. No outerwear at work.

Therapist with wife is not something we've discussed. A few years back we were having a rough patch. (Nothing to do with dressing). Her opinion of counseling was that it was a checklist item on the way to divorce court.

Saikotsu, yes that is what that statement means. "Man" time.... I present outwardly as a man 95% of the time if not more, just a couple of grooming traits that could be construed otherwise. I do all the manly things that she is accustomed to, or wants. I fix things, spend time with her and the kids, church, scouts, etc. I don't think it's a lack of man time. She just isn't "into" the CD concept

Ah, I see. I'll try to think of something else then.

[Meghan4now]

A Sixpack of Guinness in th fridge when I got home today. I know what THAT statement means just as well! :)

[donnaS]

Sounds like somebody might have an exciting evening!
Jealous!