Any suggestions

[DianaWales]

Hi All,

My wife knows about my dressing. She has not seen me dressed nor I think she would want to see me dressed. I totally understand it and don't mind. I am happy that she allows me some diana time. I feel like sleeping in pj's or something feminine. May be panties or bra under .I am not sure how to ask my wife . If anyone of you were in a similar situation please let me know what you did?

Thanks,
Diana

[missjoann]

Just be upfront with her and tell her how you feel and what you would like to wear from time to time

[TaraGrace]

hi Diana,

I'd be a bit carefull on this.. the bedroom is considdered with a certain status by many women.

Not saying you shouldn't talk about this, if you can blend it into an open conversation as something you would like to try whilst you are talking about related things, sure.. but otherwise it might be a bucket of cold water out of the blue.

For instance if I were in your shoes I'd go first to underdressing, talking about how pleasant it makes you feel.. seeing her reaction on that, and if positive perhaps ask if she would feel comfortable if you wore something girlie to bed.

x Tara

[pamela7]

talk a lot more first, it might be better to start with dressing her up in bed, expressing how you like the feel, and to then suggest it might be fun for both of you (it will be)

[suchacutie]

I agree with TeraGrace. The bedroom would be the last place I could see broaching the issue of seeing you in anything feminine. That fact that you state that you aren't sure she would want to see you dressed means there hasn't been enough communication.

My wife actually wanted to see me dressed every time we took it to a new level, and even then it was an "OMG" moment.

I very much suggest that ground rules and assurances be set before bring your femme self "up close and personal". It's much harder to have that discussion after the initial impact of seeing any of your femme self than before.

Best wishes with your discussions.

[Jennie2]

Hi Diana
I'm in a similar situation and am taking it slowly as my wife doesn't want me to wear a nightie in bed. I do put on a nightie when I get up for an hour or so, this often shows under my dressing gown and my wife sees it. So she is getting used to me in a nightie. I also wear panties 24/7 and take them off before bed, I have worn them to bed on occasions, so I am taking it slowly and introducing it bit by bit, it leads to discussions some Positive some not, but it is moving forward slowly
Good luck

[Heidi Stevens]

Before trying to ask for wearing any item in her presence, ask her if she wouldn't mind seeing a photo of you. If she says yes, show her the photo and don't take it any further that night.(unless she suggests something). Wait a while before taking another step like suggesting to wearing something. SHOULD SHE NO to looking at a photo of you, welcome to the world of Don't Ask/Don't Tell (DADT) She may know about your activity, but wants nothing to do it. Even a photo is too much to her. This is where you get on the long slow road to make her comfortable with your activity. This can take years as many of us can attest to. My therapist suggested this path to see where I stood. I tried it and got a big no. So we sat down and got some house rules set down and have been going since then. Why not try it and see where you stand with her. Good luck

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Diana:hugs:, Just ask But don't push it. ~~...:daydreaming:...

[carhill2mn]

The safest way would be to ask her. I would suggest that you start with some women's pjs. There are many that are great (I preferred nylon ones) looking and feeling. They can be very feminine or not.

[Krisi]

I just introduced my wife to my dressing (and wardrobe) a little bit at a time. Actually, the first time she saw me in a skirt (she was with me when I bought it) was by accident. I forgot to take it off before she came home. Her comment: "It looks better on you than it would on me."

[nikkiwindsor]

My wife is supportive but she's understandably concerned from time to time that I'd like to transition. I occasionally reaffirm that I do not. I'd go very slow. And I make sure to give my wife the attention that she deserves and not overwhelm her with my cding. She's the best and I strive to put her first although I'm very far from perfect.

[S. Lisa Smith]

Before trying to ask for wearing any item in her presence, ask her if she wouldn't mind seeing a photo of you. If she says yes, show her the photo and don't take it any further that night.(unless she suggests something). Wait a while before taking another step like suggesting to wearing something. SHOULD SHE NO to looking at a photo of you, welcome to the world of Don't Ask/Don't Tell (DADT) She may know about your activity, but wants nothing to do it. Even a photo is too much to her. This is where you get on the long slow road to make her comfortable with your activity. This can take years as many of us can attest to. My therapist suggested this path to see where I stood. I tried it and got a big no. So we sat down and got some house rules set down and have been going since then. Why not try it and see where you stand with her. Good luck
I think that this is good advice. You have to go really, really slow with this. If not, it could blow up in your face.

[Sarah Louise]

My view - just ask her, but say it's up to her whether it happens or not. And make sure you mean it.

If she's not happy with it, then don't worry. As you say, neither of you mind where you are currently.

[Jess S.]

I took the slow approach and introduced my SO slowly into my dressing It worked for me.
Now its not a big deal to wear what I feel to bed. But not every night

[Eryn]

I suggest talking to her about how you feel, that her understanding is important to you, and how much you care about her. Once that is established you can move on to talking about specifics.

It is dangerous to make assumptions about how your wife feels. Ask her, and listen carefully to what she has to say. Don't expect instant answers. With time and conversation you and she will learn more about each other.

[Harumi]

Talking to her is important. And even more is listen to her. As mentioned by others, take the slow approach and be comprehensive of what she feels.

[DianaWales]

Thanks all for your lovely suggestions. I will talk with her and take the slower approach. I love her a lot and don't want to hurt her.

Diana

[Alice_2014_B]

Just ask, especially since it will be very comfortable.
:)

[Stephanie47]

Don't even suggest to your wife you want to wear a bra to bed. As many have stated the bedroom is the last place a woman wants her husband to be feminine. My wife just shook her head when she found out I had bought a vivid red Vanity Fair bra many decades ago. She asked "Why would a man want to wear a bra when he has nothing to pack into it?" Good question. And, that was from a woman who did not object to "bedroom play" which included me sleeping in floor length nylon gowns. Frankly, after the red bra my wife was totally turned off with me wearing the night gowns...sigh!

Anyway, if you are trying to get some fem garments into the bed, I'd keep them out of any sexual activity unless she is game for it. You may want to start with some very plain black, white or neutral panties. Nothing with lace or frills. I love wearing white Vanity Fair white nylon briefs to bed. If your wife reaches over and fondles you she may be surprised at the reaction and you rise to the occasion. Panty with benefits? If she gives you the OK for a nightie, then start out with a somewhat plain nylon tea length (knee length) gown in a black or white. Again, no frills. There are also some lines of slips in black and white that have broad non adjustable straps that are also nice for sleeping. There are other sensual feminine garments that come in white and black that are not too over the top. I have some nice nylon split slips and tap panties of varying lengths that are sensual and go nicely with nylon camisoles. What I am describing is somewhat of a trade off. You get the feel of some feminine fabric and your wife does not get to see her man in a sheer frilly pink with bows baby doll nightie. Maybe, if your wife finds there are certain benefits for her, then maybe she'll go for something more frilly once in a while. I would not try to wear fem nighties all the time.