Conflicted every single day

[sweetgal]

Not a day goes by where I don't look at other women and wish I could wear something they were wearing. I find that I'm constantly checking out their clothes to see what I like and what I would wear. It's very frustrating that I can't (don't feel comfortable) wear those types of clothes due to cultural norms. How much of a daily struggle is it for any of you who are constantly looking and checking out, but don't feel like you can act on it?

[Jenniferathome]

But you CAN act on it. You choose not to.

[Michelle Girl]

Hi Sweet gal,

I share your frustration but I'm also with Jennifer on this one. The frustration is seeing the wonderful range of garments that women wear in work (and elsewhere), but probably mostly at work as it occupies five days out of seven, and I feel trapped in suits, virtually unable to express my inner self in any outward, dressed way. I'd just love to have a fraction of the choice of styles, colour and fabric that women have. Unless I quit my job and undergo all the dire consequences that would bring to my family, then I just have to endure it. I'm sure this applies to a great many of the members of this site.

However, my crossdressing helps alleviate this. OK, I can't turn up in work in my finery, but I can enjoy it at home and increasingly out of the house. Every item I buy, each outfit I put together, each time I manage to improve my makeup is a mini triumph. This buoys me up and helps to suppress those feelings of frustration. I recently went for my first ever walk out on my own in the city at rush hour in a blended but undeniably feminine outfit. I got an immense sense of achievement from having done something I could never have contemplated just a year ago.

I would encourage you to push the bounds - safely, gradually - of what is possible for you. Almost no femme clothing is out of reach. You are on the best possible website here, to discover just what can be achieved, and with advice and tips on how to do it.

Love, Michelle

[RADER]

Most of the GG's I see everyday wear jeans, and a top.
Now once in a while, I find one dressed for special occasions that I would
love to try on that outfit. However, most more than half my age, and just
would not look that great on me.
I do wear woman's jeans every day, so in a way I almost look like them.
Rader

[Tracii G]

Why do you feel you HAVE to fit in the cultural norm?
I haven't worn guys pants,underwear,shirts and shoes in 8 years and nobody bats an eye.
The only reason you are conflicted is because you choose to be.

[Alice Torn]

After decades of such frustration, i finally got the kahonies to go buy a purple dress that was on display at a thrift charity store, then. more and more, , but there is conflict , as i struggle with religious and society cultural taboos some. I still feel sorrow sometimes when i see the kind of GG i dream of, but cannot have a lover or wife, but i can look pretty much like one of then, but can never be one. Because of certain issues, i cannot have a mate, so i become her temporarily.

[deebra]

Sweetgal I agree with your post and also feel the same way to some degree.

I don't agree with Jennifer and Traci because the two of you might pass easily in public and could wear anything where others may not and would be outed wearing the clothes.

[Jenniferathome]

Deebra, I do not pass in public. This is not about "passing" it's about being comfortable in who you are. The world is not putting up blockades, we do that ourselves.

[Lauri K]

Oh the daily struggles, many here have them......I hate men's wear, period

While many here posts on here claiming it being impossible to pass...fine have it your way if that's what you want to believe

But I can tell you, and I am in no way picking on GG's

But I have observed GG's spitting on the side walk getting out of their vehicles, throwing cigs on the ground, hawking buggers out their nose, cursing like sailors at the legion hall, fighting, vandalizing etc.

So my theory is that 30 to 40 percent of CD's / TS / TG are more femininely presenting in public.......and therefore do stand a very, very good chance of passing for a moment or two, possibly longer depending

I may get banned for saying it here but, that's how I feel after many, many years of observation

[Lisa LIckorice]

I agree. Not a minute goes by that I don't wish I could be accepted for who I am. I under dress, but would love to be able to fully dress daily. I feel like I should have done it when I was younger, before I had kids. Now it's just a fantasy for me. I just wish I would have been born a woman, it would have made things easier. LOL What I would give to not have a penis...

[Robin414]

Deebra, I do not pass in public. This is not about "passing" it's about being comfortable in who you are. The wold is not putting up blockades, we do that ourselves.

Very well said Jennifer, me too! I don't try to 'pass' except on occasion for shits 'n giggles , my 'look' is 'my' look! It actually works for me as well, as a 'guy' I always got the vibe that people were afraid of me but in my new tween mode, people actually like seeing me! I don't wear 'women's clothes', they're MY clothes! 😡

[Ally 2112]

Don't worry about passing worry about enjoying what your doing when you can .Have fun with it experiment and just do the best you can :)

[Karen RHT]

I hear you sweetgal, and there was a time I had the same feelings. Wishing, hoping, dreaming, that society would miraculously change their thinking, and allow me to wear the clothes I wanted to wear, when and where I wanted to wear them. Similar to yourself, the more I looked in shop windows, and fashion magazines, or watched the women around me, my frustration with societal norms continued to grow.

Regrettably, late in life, I realized that if I left it up to them, and continued to strictly comply with their standards, I would never realize my dreams. I decided that rather than await their permission, I would take action. That action has been to slowly, methodically, and comfortably move forward towards my ultimate goal.

As Jennifer and others suggest, it will continue to be a "daily struggle" for as long as you "don't feel you can act on it." Then again, I anticipate you already know that.


Karen

[Tracii G]

Deebra there is no way I pass if you look hard enough up close,from a distance maybe.
The whole point is do the best you can with your make up and present with confidence nothing more than that.
I don't care if they see me as a CD because I am one.

[Samantha981]

I might be a bit jealous but not conflicted. I have made a decision to stay in the closet and that severely limits time dressed up or out. But its my decision and am at peace with it. I can think about it frequently and joining the forum here lets me be en femme in a virtual sense :daydreaming:

What I am careful of is not staring at co workers outfits or shoes. Granted, most GGs at work dress pretty plain for work, standard pants and blouses for office. A few dress up more. I don't want anyone to feel like I'm harassing, I'm not. So have to just glance and focus on NOT paying attention. Just don't want to creep anyone out, not fair to them.

[Teresa]

Sweetgal,
It happens in small steps ! You don't say how much you dress or if you get out at all, if you don't you will have those feelings, what they wear will frustrate you.