Pre versus Post Orgasm Need to Dress?

[Sarasometimes]

Just wondering for those who get at least somewhat aroused by dressing do you lose all interest post orgasm? Is the desire the same or just slightly less? This is an area that I am exploring with my therapist and I wonder how others feel. For me the need does diminish most times but not for very long. Does anyone feel turned off by dressing at that point? Thanks for sharing.

[2B Natasha]

In the past. Yes. I did feel almost disgusted with myself. Take it all off and tell myself that it was bad and I should feel bad about it. Hang my head n shame. Try and pack it all away or sometimes go so far as to throw a certain item away that I was fixated on. That was then. I don't feel that way any more for a couple of reason. Which I won't go into. But I did in the past and I do not now.

[JeanTG]

When I dress I usually have little or no sexual urge; on the rare times that I do, it's not related to the dressing but more likely because it's been several days since I last had an orgasm and if going "solo" I most likely will fantasize on something completely different from the dressing, usually about having sex with my wife. Dressing usually takes the edge off and when dressed, I can actually postpone orgasm for a day or two longer than usual. I just feel more "me" when dressed and it's a nice feeling but not as much sexual one. If I should orgasm before dressing either solo or after intimacy, to a certain extent the urge to dress afterwards goes away but only briefly. I admit when I dressed in my 20s, a session was much more likely to end with self-gratification like Natasha and with the same feelings. Now dressing just seems like a natural part of my personality (I'm in my 50s). NOT dressing does result in intense frustration though, at least when I'm in the mood to dress. I can go for long periods of being mostly on the male side of the spectrum, my gender is somewhat fluid, and varies from 60/40 male/female to 60/40 female/male, with the latter being the most usual. And in when I'm in the latter mood, as I am now, I need to dress at least several times a week and I wear panties 24/7, the latter with my wife's approval and support, the rest DADT.

I do think however, that this will vary from person to person, age, where we we are on the gender spectrum, the basic etiology of our CDing, etc.

[NicoleScott]

There is no right or wrong answer. Everyone has their own way of addressing the arousal crossdressing can bring, and some CDers say there is no sexual connection. So it doesn't matter what other people do. But if you're just curious, when I'm done, I'm done. But it's not out of shame and disgust.......it's just over for now. I'm meticulous about cleaning up and putting everything away, ready for next time. That is certainly not a loss of interest.

[sometimes_miss]

Most of what JeanTG wrote also applies to me. Dressing up doesn't set off any sexual urges, nor does feeling horny initiate the desire to dress up. But there are times when I experience both together. The fantasy never seemed to change depending on whether I'm dressed as a girl or boy. After self satisfaction it doesn't alter the desire to stay dressed up. Hope that answers your question.

[Confucius]

The "need" to dress does vary before and after orgasm. This is natural and due to the effect of neurotransmitters in your brain.

As you stimulate yourself your brain releases dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and other feel good neurotransmitters. Dopamine levels peak with orgasm and then the prolactin kicks in. Prolactin is the neurotransmitters associated with the pulling away response post orgasm. For a short period after orgasm you no longer feel the dopamine influence. Then the prolactin wears away and you are back to your old cross-dressing self.
http://www.entelechyjournal.com/pulling_away_after_sex1.htm

This all seems to suggest to me that crossdressing is a biological condition, and not just a psychological one. Your brain is interpreting cross-dressing as actual contact with a female, and responding by releasing appropriate neurotransmitters. Now most men can wear women's clothing and not get the same response. Their brains will not release the neurotransmitters, but ours do... I believe this indicates that sometime in our early brain development (synaptogenesis) we made neural connections between feminine articles and identity.

Please note: Getting aroused from dressing is not why we do the dressing. We do the dressing because we need to feel the good sensations from these neurotransmitters. Even if I never use crossdressing to arouse myself, I would still get sensations of comfort, well-being and self authentication from doing so.

[Helen_Highwater]

I don't get aroused by dressing. What I have noticed is that if I'm dressing for an extended period, 8-10 hours or longer. there is no desire for any sexual "pleasuring" once the time to go drab arrives. However if my dressing time is limited to a short period 1-2 hrs say, then self gratification is a way of nutralising my disappointment at having to return to drab prematurely. It draws a line under the proceedings.

[Lorileah]

:facepalm: really? You want to know other's sexual habits? (Stay in the rulez, keep it clean and for the love of Mike NO DETAILS)

[Teresa]

Confucius,
It's been a while since you've posted but it's an opportune time and you describe it exactly how it is with me.
My dressing started with a bang just as you described I was about nine years old, it tied the male female side together with my sexual needs.
To answer Sara's question initially the male side would be satisfied and the clothes discarded, but then the need returns, now I stay dressed the male/female side is satisfied.
I will admit that wanting sex when dressed is beginning to become annoying, but can't be resisted , the clothes mean more to me now than the sexual part.

[MelanieAnne]

I used to lose interest in CDing for several days after. Now, it's just for a couple hours, if at all.

[AshleyJames]

Confucius your post makes so much sense, very interesting insight.

Also, as Natasha had mentioned, in my early and mid 20's I had similar feelings, but as I grew up and learned to accept and love myself I realized that I had no reason to hate myself or feel disgusted, this is a part of me and this is who I am.
So instead of trying to shape and mold myself into what I thought others wanted me to be, and being miserable, I focused on shaping up myself in a way that I could be happy with.
That said, I used to feel different pre vs post, but at this point I don't.

[Saikotsu]

I don't get aroused from dressing, but I have noticed that afterwards, my gender identity often fluctuates. Generally speaking, the desire to dress as my internal gender dictates remains constant, but the internal identity doesn't. I usually end up wearing a different outfit afterwards than the one I was wearing before.

[Piora]

Just wondering for those who get at least somewhat aroused by dressing do you lose all interest post orgasm?

For me, it is a very strong arousal. However, it's only when I have on lingerie or stockings/garterbelt etc. that it happens. Sometimes, I will fully dress afterward, but in more conservative attire, just to lounge around in. Other times, afterwards, I lose interest for a couple of hours.

[Krisi]

My dressing is not sexual.

[stephiemont]

No, I feel good wearing female clothing no matter my sexual state. From the feel of the bra to my panties to the sweep of my long skirt across the tops of my feet, it all feels great. If i do need to gratify myself sexually it's within that context and i have no shame or disgust. My life continues as normal afterwards(with a little help from Kleenex) and my dress stays on. My wife agrees with that as well. As she says soiled lingerie is what washing machines are for.

Stephie.

[Rachelakld]

When I was in my teens and 20's, post orgasm relieved a lot of my stress so I had less need to dress, but by 35 years of age, it became more about being me.

[Robin414]

Organization? Is this about incorrect erotic targeting? I get it, but I'm out 😐

[Tracii G]

CDing never has been sexual for me so I have no idea what you are asking about.I'm out too.

[docrobbysherry]

I am what they refer to as a "fetish dresser" here, Sara. Which is cd.com code for it turns me on.:heehee:

However, as others have mentioned that has been changing in the last 5 or so years. While I'm concentrating on preparing a certain look and again while I'm out with T friends, sex never enters my mind, period. However, when I'm done with a shoot or come back home from an event? It's rare when I don't get a bit excited!:o
I'm 70 by the way.

As to wanting to get the women's things off? Early on, I always wanted them off immediately after. Because the girdles and corsets suddenly cut deeper. The bras and tite clothing became more restricting. And, the heels and boots were suddenly more painful!:doh:

These days, it's not the same. I take things off when I feel like it. It doesn't seem connected to my release any more. :straightface:

[Jazzy Jaz]

Although I do enjoy the sexual side of dressing, I don't lose interest dressing when I'm done, I lose interest in sex when I'm done (temporarily). Afterwards I'm down to watch a movie, clean house, do homework etc or whatever else just like any other lady (or man for that matter).

[wanda66]

In the beginning It was a means to a end. And when the sex was finished so was the crossdressing.
Now I enjoy thr dressing much more and if I encounter a moment of pleasure it doesn't interfere with my dressing pleasure

[Kiersten]

In the past I use to lose interest right after, but now it's become more about the dressing and less about sexual gratification.

[Harumi]

In my mind since I have fully accepted this side of me, I do not lose interest dressing anymore (if it happens that it turned me on).

[Traceyjo]

In the distant past I used to become so aroused when I dressed I couldn't go for more than a couple of hours without having an orgasm. Then my desire to stay dress disappeared completely for and hour or so after which I would dress again and be able to stay dressed for a longer period. These days there is still the sexual excitement aspect but it is not so intense that I need to relieve it. When the time comes that I need to return to male mode but have a very strong desire to continue to enjoy the wonderful sensation of being femme, I usually have an orgasm not just for the pleasure it brings but also to reduce the letdown of having to change. I can stay dressed after an orgasm and continue to feel great but the excitement of feeling sexy is diminished.

[CallmeAlice]

My dressing is not sexual. Plus if it was I wouldn't cross before, dont want to get my cloths dirty.

[renae.lake]

For me, initially dressing was a means to arousal; after a climax, though, I did not feel any urgency to undress (unless it was very late). Lately, when I want to both be aroused and CD, I usually 'take care of business' first, so there is less of a hurry to get dressed up, and I can enjoy doing it at my own pace, and I feel like I experience the feminine transformation more fully. That's just me though, I have no judgement about anyone who dresses for arousal (I still do sometimes) or who wants to undress as soon as the 'fun' is over.

- Summer

[binair10]

When I first started to dress (around 60 years ago) I used to get aroused every time. Not a problem now and has not been for many years. Just like dressing in male mode. No reaction whatsoever.

So I would say the more that you dress the less of a problem it will become.

Julie.

[Michelle-Leigh]

My crossdressing has long since progressed beyond the strictly erotic mode, in which I would lose desire to be dressed and remove my wife's clothes. But now I have my own feminine clothes which I wear for extended periods of time, during which if I get aroused, I just relieve myself and continue wearing the feminine clothes afterward.

[JeanTG]

So I would say the more that you dress the less of a problem it will become.

Julie.

I agree. Lots of good answers here; we're all different of course. I too also wear for an extended period of time, usually 9-5 on days when I'm alone at home (I work mostly from home, my wife works at her office), and longer if my wife is away on business or family matters. For me being dressed actually now reduces my levels of arousal, probably because being dressed also reduces my anxiety. It has a calming effect.

But as I pointed out earlier, it wasn't always that way.

[PamelaMiller]

Dressing for me is multi-faceted and I doubt that I'm very different from many of you. (1) It's definitely sexual. (2) It's nice to step outside of myself and be someone else for a while. (3) I find female clothing and females in general to be so much more pleasing to all senses that I want to be part of that. Females are so much more interesting and appealing than men.

All of that being said, after "satisfaction" my need to dress subsides for a few days to a week and then it quickly moves back into the front of my mind. Since I only dress during business travel, sometimes the need to dress can boil for a while.

I have long gotten past the self-disgust that I experienced after dressing. And I'm much better at understanding that my she-side is part of the total person. Oops - venturing off-topic and now wading around in a stream of consciousness.

[Trans_Cate]

[QUOTE=Confucius;3889803]The "need" to dress does vary before and after orgasm. This is natural and due to the effect of neurotransmitters in your brain.

As you stimulate yourself your brain releases dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and other feel good neurotransmitters. Dopamine levels peak with orgasm and then the prolactin kicks in. Prolactin is the neurotransmitters associated with the pulling away response post orgasm. For a short period after orgasm you no longer feel the dopamine influence. Then the prolactin wears away and you are back to your old cross-dressing self. ...
/QUOTE]


Is there a 'Like' button I can hit?

[karen inside]

long ago, a teenager with raging hormones-yes it was more of a sexual attraction- now years later, not having red polish on my toenails is something I'm constantly aware of when its missing...even in drab with work boots. For instance, i wish so much i could wear several gold bangle bracelets but my hands are too large- not sexually related but when i hear someone wearing that sound of the bracelets it's reassuring, comforting. Like many answers, most things related to CD are not erotic but they soothe and enliven me.

[sara.rafaela]

This was me at age 17. For me now, dressing is a grand art project and not related to this.

[Alice Torn]

Life time single here. No sexual outlet. I used to release every time, aroused by the lady in the mirror. Now, in my 60's, not as often. but, when i do, i always quickly remove everything i had on, and wash the affected ones, and shower. Still some guilt and shame about it.

[michellechong]

I recalled the first time I slipped the panty on, got so sexually aroused, I "released" instantly, then followed by a lost interest completely. This cycle of sexual excitement and anticlimax diminished as I grew older.

[Stephanie47]

As a teenager there was a sexual component to dressing. In the 1960's love was not as "free" as the history book portray. Not everyone was a Woodstock rolling joints and rolling in the hay. Nor was there porn readily available, and, the porn there was around really was tame by today's standards. I guess one may say dressing or using women's clothing was akin to a sex aid. Usually after "experimenting" with women's clothing there was a lot of disgust and self loathing.

As a more mature adult with a hot wife dressing with a sexual component gradually disappeared. Now? Comparing my teenage exploits with the opportunity to wear my mother's lingerie and one dress I could squeeze into with now, there is no comparison. Now, being en femme does not elicit any self loathing or disgust. I enjoy my womanly side. Self gratification while en femme? Nope! I have too much to do while en femme; laundry, ironing, vacuuming, dish washing, baking, meal preparation, etc.

As a youth would there be an difference between wearing women's clothing or reading Playboy? I suspect whatever turns someone on or acts as a sex aid diminishes after self gratification is over.

[Krististeph]

One note- the orgasm response triggers the release of endorphin- endogenous morphine. The opiate response is the pleasure response. Most things that we enjoy, trigger releases of small amounts of endorphin- through cognitive function. But the hardwired response- sex/orgasm, releases larger amounts.

[CarlaWestin]

Like many here, I have had the same experience. A long time ago, I would do the post release guilt purge thing and wonder why I was such a freak. Then I started a mindset of being respectful of my special gift of exploring the other gender. Although I do find the activity arousing, it's the being in the zone that I find uber pleasurable.

[SabrinaEmily]

This all seems to suggest to me that crossdressing is a biological condition, and not just a psychological one. Your brain is interpreting cross-dressing as actual contact with a female

Then how do you explain gay (i.e., strictly attracted to men) and asexual crossdressers?

[Anne K]

I think Pamela's reply mirrors my feelings spot on. The biggest difference is that I can dress as often as I want and am encouraged by my SO to do so. Sometimes, I wonder who she likes better!

[windycissy]

Great question, interesting replies...in my case, when I was much younger, crossdressing was a total sexual rush (I had my first orgasm in my sister's clothes) and after I got off, I felt ashamed and lost the desire - for a little while. These days, dressing brings about more of a sublime type feeling of contentment, although I must confess that every so often I'll surprise myself with an unwanted orgasm, even when I'm soft and tucked - especially after a long layoff when I'm wearing something that feels really good. But I no longer feel creeped out about it, guess I've come to accept myself?

[StacyCD]

Initially, dressing was a means to release and then off with the clothes. As I became older it became less and less about the release and more and more about wearing the clothes. Now I just dress because I enjoy it--not specifically for release.

[CathyWallace]

The older DSM (3 or 4) identified the behavior of a strong desire to shed women's clothes after orgasm as symptomatic of fetishism.
Been there, done that, it no longer applies to me post therapy. Women's clothes are right for me whenever.
But if it floats your boat, do it without regrets.

[Amy07]

Sure I do what I do as dressed. I love to save it up.

[rocval2001]

I think I am with most here - dressing is not a sexual thing for me but an extension of who I am. Don't get me wrong I do have my fantasies about being with a guy when portraying Valerie, But the dressing is about more than the sex.

[LacieMarie]

In my teens I would dress and get aroused and after orgasm I would change and all be back to normal.
One day afterwards I kept the desire to look pretty and now sexual or not I love my feminine side and stay in it.

[newandshy]

This is super relevant to me. I think right now I am going through the change from just a sexual thing, to something that just makes me feel good. For the longest time if I was dressed during sex, after I finished I would strip it all off. Now I still have that urge, but it is much less of a urge and more of a mild feeling of wanting to take it off. When I am dressed, I don't always get arroused, I just like to look cute and sexy, but if my wife were to say something like "Looks good on you" or something like that I know her approval would instantly turn me on.

[wendy]

in my early days of CDing, I had to exercise extreme will power to avoid reaching orgasm right after I fully dressed. I knew that once I came, I would not be in the mood to dress up for a while. A few times I was able to "force" myself to dress again after coming, but usually no.

Fast forward many years, and the sexual arousal is still there, but I don't CD to reach orgasm anymore. I feel more at ease dressing, so I don't come (maybe the odd time). Plus, now that my wife knows about my CDing, it would be very awkward, embarrassing, and difficult to explain why Wendy's clothes smell. She is totally ok with my CDing, but reaching orgasm on my own and making a mess, that is something else.

[1958Candi]

The urge is very strong PRE ... POST the urge completely goes away/ For me dressing is more of a fetish than an expression of identity.

[CONSUELO]

Well many teenage males are easily aroused and being a fetishistic transvestite led to the inevitable. I'm sure many of us can remember having erections several times a day and in some of the most embarrassing circumstances.
Later in life we calm down as it were.

[kellgrl66]

glad so many of you have the same reaction. When in my early teens the sensation to dress was abruptly ended after climaxing but over time that has changed. I dress now daily and arousal is not part of it anymore just the sensation of being debbie and going about my life. In short orgasm doesnt effect anything about my dressing now

[Secret Drawer]

I have never really felt a direct connection between my sexuality and my crossdressing, which I would call "gender expression." None the less, I think I can understand those who experience it this way. It is a good thread because it allows those with different mechanisms to share. For me, I don't quite understand (deep level) how one is to get sexual pleasure from dressing? I actually experience a sort of asexual level of existence when I am dressing. Some have said that they feel a little less sexual pressure when dressing, and I would concur with this. Kind of a weird sort of reverse performance anxiety. Its not like I expect to "get laid" when I am presenting en femme, so I "forget" about sex for a while.

[Sissy_in_pink]

When in my early teens the sensation to dress would end after climaxing, I would then change back to male clothes in fear of getting caught.
In later years and after my ex wife found out about my CDing I found it very satisfying to climax in private then stay dressed in front of her.

[Confucius]

Here is a biological answer to your question.

When you are getting sexually stimulated your brain is releasing the neurotransmitter dopamine. Dopamine is a very important neurotransmitter. It is involved with sensations of expectation of gratification. Everything that gives you gratification in life uses dopamine, and sex is a major dopamine user. However whenever you orgasm there is a pulling away effect. This is the effect of the neurotransmitters prolactin.

When you crossdress your brain is interpreting it as actual contact with a female. When you crossdress your brain releases dopamine, and if your crossdressing results in orgasm then your brain will also release prolactin - the pulling away response. So it isn't unusual for you to feel less of an urge to crossdress after orgasm. Your prolactin levels are high and they repress the dopamine.
http://www.health-science-spirit.com/neurosex.html
http://www.entelechyjournal.com/pulling_away_after_sex1.htm

[TrishaTX]

Much Much more before than after that said, I used to want to get out of the clothes in 10 seconds...now I am very comfortable after...but the urge is less. For me sexuality and crossdressing are connected..

[CourtneyJamieson]

Like many have expressed here, when I was in my 20's my dressing was pretty much all about the sexual turn-on. I would pretty much always satisfy myself and then undress and be fine for awhile. Now that I am a bit more mature, I dress more regularly. Yes, there is always a sense of arousal when I start to dress in Fem but not the urge to satisfy myself. I can now be dressed for 15-20 hours and never have the urge for sexual gratification. Though I am always aroused. And now, more often than not, I dress, and undress with no sexual component. Sometimes it happens but not always like when I was young.

[laura.lapinski]

When I am hungry, really hungry, I eat my food with joy and vigor probably faster than I should. At some point, I hit a phase shift, where suddenly what was so good now seems kind of gross. I don't even want to see the food in front of me at that moment. However, I know I will need to eat again, and I don't feel guilt about the meal I just had (well, maybe a little if I really over-gorged and am trying to lose weight). But the fact remains that I need to eat regularly, and know I will want to, and will do so some time later. It doesn't change the fact I have needs, and that it can be pleasurable to fulfill them. As long as it all has it's proper place, time, and quantity.