How did u relate to movie, The Danish Girl?

[docrobbysherry]

Just saw it last nite. Even tho it happened nearly 100 years ago, I related to her on screen reaction to nylons and the satin dress. It rang a few memory bells from 18 years ago. And at first, I thot he was a late in life dresser like myself. But then, the story revealed he had felt like a female since early on in her life. And, that she was attracted to men as well as women. On those points, I couldn't identify with her.:straightface:

For those of that saw the movie: Did it ring any bells in YOUR dressing memory banks?:battingeyelashes:

[MissDanielle]

For me, it just shows how far we've come with acceptance for being trans.

[Nadine Robles]

To be completely honest, I watched roughly 1 hour and it bored me. I had very high expectations since I love historic films and the topic of crossdressing caught my attention, but the movie itself was so slow paced, only kept going thanks to the awesome performaNce by the leading actor. I related to some particular things, mostly fantasies he had about being a woman but didnt feel particularly identified.
Much more interesting movie about TS real life story I would recomend "Forbidden Love" (1977 spanish movie originally titled "cambio de sexo" -sex change-)

[Judy-Somthing]

Wow I saw the trailer And it looks like a must see.

One movie I liked similar to cross-dressing was (Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde)

[Robin414]

I have a GG friend who seriuosly wants me to see it, she stumbled on the trailer and immediately thought of me...after reading the plot line I'm kinda freaked out about seeing it 😨

[donnaS]

I have seen it.
Feels like my marriage exactly right now.
My wife has not seen it yet.
So far, we have bee thru the shock of me coming out to her.
I have counseling set up,with HRT as a possible option.
My wife has already said that her husband is no longer here.
We have had discussions on splitting up because of Donna.
Intimacy is pretty much gone. And some discussion has been, what if you meet some one like Donna and fall in love?
The movie for me was inspirational but also heart breaking at the same time.
I'm an emotional wreck trying to be my true self and watching it tear my wife apart. Guilt isn't even close.
It makes me hate myself for what I am.
Never meant to hurt anybody.
I can relate so much to the movie. Right now my life is following that exact path.

[flatlander_48]

doc:

I could relate to everything except for the part about transitioning. I have no interest in that.

One point that I think cannot be emphasized enough is Einar/Lili's level of desperation. Today we talk about the degree of despair that is generated by a complete mismatch between the gender that your body suggests and the gender that you believe you are. In too many cases, people attempt to deal with it by suicide. By comparison, Einar was willing to risk everything on a VERY risky surgery that had only been done once before with fatal results. To me, the level of desperation was not that much different.

DeeAnn

[docrobbysherry]

To be completely honest, I watched roughly 1 hour and it bored me. I had very high expectations since I love historic films and the topic of crossdressing caught my attention, but the movie itself was so slow paced, only kept going thanks to the awesome performaNce by the leading actor. I related to some particular things, mostly fantasies he had about being a woman but didnt feel particularly identified.
Much more interesting movie about TS real life story I would recomend "Forbidden Love" (1977 spanish movie originally titled "cambio de sexo" -sex change-)
I must agree, Nadine. I felt the movie dragged on at times. My T friend actually nodded off a few times. Of course, she'd had a couple of beers. The theater sold beer and wine!:drink:
But, it was a matinee and I don't drink that early.:heehee:

However, I thot the woman who played the wife, Alicia Vikander, carried the movie. I wasn't surprised to see her nominated for an award!:)

[AngelaYVR]

I thought it was a complete snooze and wanted to hurl things at the screen every time Redmayne gave that goofy grin.

[audreyinalbany]

Haven't seen it & probably won't. One of the things that bothers me a little about all the media attention lately on gender dysphoria (Transparent, Caitllyn Jenner, the Danish Girl) is that it does send a message that transition is the end game for all who crossdress. While those of us on the forum know this to be far from the truth, the general public and, more specifically, my wife, can easily assimilate this message and it sort of reinforces the stereotype that all of us who choose do wear women's clothes want to become women. I know there is no drama in a guy dressing up as a woman and going out shopping, then coming home and changing back into guy clothes and going about his life, but I suspect this is the reality for many of us.

[Jackie7]

My wife and I have seen it twice. Very moving and beautiful film, I could relate personally to a lot tho not all. Second time we took my wife's sister, she also liked it very much. We concluded that the Danish girl in the title actually refers to the wife, Gerda Wegener, BTW in real life she was a fabulous artist, google her and see for yourself.

[AnnieMac]

I agree with you Audrey. I think the whole Jenner thing has hurt "normal crossdressers" (haha) more than helped. Also there is just something about Jenner that doesn't seem entirely genuine, unlike the transgender folks I have met personally.
Now look, I admit this is all fun and games for me, but us CDs have to acknowledge to a degree, this certain inner feminine personality trait, that makes us like doing it.

As far as that film goes, the trailer looks as captivating as two other excruciating films if you have ever had to sit through the them, "Chariots of Fire" & "The English Patient" arrrrrrrgggggggghhhhh!! But, perhaps I am being to judgemental since I haven't seen the entire film.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I could totally relate to the beginning, where she tries on the silk stockings (I believe they were silk at that time) and displays a subtle but distinct sense of excitement and euphoria, especially when she held onto the dress. Something only a certain type of dresser would get, and they really nailed that.

Interestingly, some critics have referred to the first third/half or so as what we would call "TV Fiction", a "forced" feminization type story with the wife introducing the man to dressing and embracing the dressing (to start anyway.)

The part where the wife discovers him wearing her slip under his clothes and is delighted, well, at that point I knew it was fiction :)

[Lorileah]

Loved the movie. Made me cry. Confused about certain things but researching I know understand what happened. So as an entertaining and moving movie...I give it a thumbs up. Educational and historic.....not so much. Not wanting to ruin it for those who will see it (and you should, it is a good movie...but no car crashes or explosions or graphic sex scenes so some will say it is slow:brolleyes:) but there are thing s that reinforce muggle views of the community (like the epiphany by just putting on stockings?)

Google the whole story AFTER seeing it and you will see they left out a LOT

[char GG]

It was a well done movie. It struck me, though that when "he" became a "she", the focus turned to her and no longer "them" as a couple.

That seems to ring true for many CDers that I know. Which is why I feel that for vacations, etc; it is important to keep the "us" in time spent together. I don't think it should be about just one person in the relationship.

There is plenty of other "me" time for crossdressers, even with an SO. Just saying that it shouldn't always be about one person exclusively.

I must say that my husband does a good job keeping the "us" in our marriage. ****Thanks honey*****

[AngelaYVR]

...but no car crashes or explosions or graphic sex scenes so some will say it is slow:brolleyes:)

That tired line gets trotted out all the time. A movie can be slow and engaging, this one is just aggravating because Redmayne's talent appears to be wasted on constantly mugging for the camera. If not for Vikander it would be an absolute waste of film (or bytes or whatever they use these days). But we get it, you are telling us you are more refined.

[Eryn]

...Did it ring any bells in YOUR dressing memory banks?

When Einar was holding the ballet dress and the camera zoomed to his fingers caressing the fabric I was screaming inside "Someone GETS it!" That simple action resonated so much with me.

The movie was shot beautifully and I think that it was just as much about Gerda as Lili.

And yes, I cried at the ending. Such a powerful movie, at least for the TS folks in the audience.

[AnnieMac]

So char GG, it seems that the underlying feelings in your overall statement is that you feel crossdressers are selfish, or that crossressing is a selfish activity becuase it's all about "me" (the crossdresser in this case). I couldn't agree more! I have often
Felt that I was a little selfish in the amount of influence it has over me, or the amount of time I spend alone doing it, especially since I am still am still in the closet and don't share this activity with my wife. That's really the only thing I feel a little guilty about. I don't have any guilt over the whole weirdness of it all, or gender embarrassment if you wiil

[heatherdress]

I personally did not relate and was disappointed.

The movie dragged, no pun intended. Most of the husband-wife relationship script was made for the screen. I felt the Einar/Lili movie character came across as unlikeable. His/her wife's character stood out as being remarkably supportive.

Not worth the price at the movie theater (like most others) but worth watching if free.

[Beverley Sims]

I think it is a movie that would grow on you.

First viewing, just another TG movie.

I think I enjoyed Some Like it Hot better, and that was just comedy.

[Sarah Louise]

The early scenes were similar to how I view female clothes, the way he touched and revelled in their softness and glamour. I watched the film with my wife and it did cross my mind that she would be sat there thinking that I do that with her clothes when she wears them. Little did she know that I would come clean with her less than a week later! :straightface:

Of course, the main character's journey soon went beyond anywhere I would ever go, but it was interesting none-the-less.

[Kate T]

My world on the screen.

Needs to be watched multiple times. I suspect Redmayne's performance improves with watching again.

I'm not attracted to men. Drop that aspect and it is the first movie / book / story that has come close to "getting it". So many parallels with my life it is unnerving. Met at university, same profession, stupidly in love with each other, ALWAYS know exactly where each other is in the room, people try and work out how the hell we can speak each other with just a look across a crowded room. Then the sheer abject terror when you first go somewhere as yourself and the whispered "don't leave me", the brushing of hand along the clothes on the clothes rack, the shyness and insecurity about how to speak and hold yourself in public. The willingness to suspend or subvert my own ambitions or career to see my wifes flourish and her to see her joy in those accomplishments. Hell, we even have the out there vivacious true friend (Oola) who never seems to be able to quite find the right partner.

I think a lot of people miss the real point about this movie. It is not really about Lili or her transition. I've found at least 6 different supposedly "true" versions of Lili's transition and surgeries. There is even less verifiable about Gerda and her supposed lesbianism or bisexuality (something that seems to be based on her erotic drawings which I wonder whether she did to cater to a repressed european male sexual appetite rather than an expression of her own sexuality). Tom Hooper, the director said in an interview that what he hoped is that someday society wouldn't see the movie as a movie about Lili, but as a love story where one of the protagonists is transgender. That is certainly what my wife and I saw.

[Rogina B]

For some of us,the discussion the couple had mimics real life...Especially the part when the wife needs her husband..Some of us have been there on that. Real teary movie for me. But a good one !

[Suzanne F]

It was very sweet and painful for my wife and me. The love story is our story. When Lily was going into her first surgery it hit me that in a very short time I will face this moment. Very touching!
Suzanne

[PretzelGirl]

It is interesting the variety of responses here and I wish each person could specifically say where they are and where they think they are going in their path. There may be commonality on where we are and what we thought about the movie.

As someone who transitioned, I found it very intense. From about 10-15 minutes in until the end of the movie, my eyes were wet. Part of it was associating with Lily and her feelings and part of it was the empathy for Gerda. No story will be perfectly accurate in 2 hours, but this movie really got to the pieces of the story that pulled at my emotions.

[samantha rogers]

My world on the screen.

Needs to be watched multiple times. I suspect Redmayne's performance improves with watching again.

I'm not attracted to men. Drop that aspect and it is the first movie / book / story that has come close to "getting it". So many parallels with my life it is unnerving. Met at university, same profession, stupidly in love with each other, ALWAYS know exactly where each other is in the room, people try and work out how the hell we can speak each other with just a look across a crowded room. Then the sheer abject terror when you first go somewhere as yourself and the whispered "don't leave me", the brushing of hand along the clothes on the clothes rack, the shyness and insecurity about how to speak and hold yourself in public. The willingness to suspend or subvert my own ambitions or career to see my wifes flourish and her to see her joy in those accomplishments. Hell, we even have the out there vivacious true friend (Oola) who never seems to be able to quite find the right partner.

I think a lot of people miss the real point about this movie. It is not really about Lili or her transition. I've found at least 6 different supposedly "true" versions of Lili's transition and surgeries. There is even less verifiable about Gerda and her supposed lesbianism or bisexuality (something that seems to be based on her erotic drawings which I wonder whether she did to cater to a repressed european male sexual appetite rather than an expression of her own sexuality). Tom Hooper, the director said in an interview that what he hoped is that someday society wouldn't see the movie as a movie about Lili, but as a love story where one of the protagonists is transgender. That is certainly what my wife and I saw.

I'm with you, Kate. To me it was exactly that... a love story where one character happened to be transgender. Yes, it was slow, and carried by the performances of the two main actors...however, the pace of that period in time was slower and more languid, and the film was simply gorgeous to watch on a purely visual basis.

I think the key to the story is not to say "well, it wasn't about how I am" but rather to leave your self at the door and watch the story objectively as a love story. I did that, as did my companion that night. Taken that way I found the movie extremely moving we both enjoyed it tremendously.

Ironically, I was able to view it last Fall as part of an invited audience of local TG but then received a screener of it prior to the SAG awards as I still have my SAG card and get to vote. lol... one of the perks...free movies each winter.:heehee:

[Eryn]

I think that enjoying a movie and having a movie relate to us are two very different things.

I enjoy watching Blazing Saddles because its absurdity makes me laugh. I don't find myself relating to the characters. (well, maybe Mongo a little...)

I didn't particularly enjoy watching The Danish Girl, but it did relate to me on many levels. The feelings that Lili expresses are much the same as the feelings I have. I consider the experience of watching it worthwhile.

[heatherdress]

The movie is primarily a love story fabricated by writers based upon the very real Danish husband and wife who had to be very brave individuals, with challenges that were extraordinary, medical technology that was rudimentary and no support systems to offer any help. I just don't think the movie was able to capture the dangers and probably isolation they must have felt. Sure the love story was touching, but it was fictional and I really felt an opportunity was lost to depict real courage. Instead of fictionalized dances and indiscretions, which never happened, maybe the very difficult challenges of probably rejection by family, friends and society, the need to leave your home in Denmark and move to Paris, the cover of pretending to be a lesbian to cover a transitioning husband, the actual state of medicine 100 years ago, the risks of surgery and the drive to be who you really are could have been part of the movie.

[St. Eve]

I have seen it.
Feels like my marriage exactly right now.
My wife has not seen it yet.
So far, we have bee thru the shock of me coming out to her.
I have counseling set up,with HRT as a possible option.
My wife has already said that her husband is no longer here.
We have had discussions on splitting up because of Donna.
Intimacy is pretty much gone. And some discussion has been, what if you meet some one like Donna and fall in love?
The movie for me was inspirational but also heart breaking at the same time.
I'm an emotional wreck trying to be my true self and watching it tear my wife apart. Guilt isn't even close.
It makes me hate myself for what I am.
Never meant to hurt anybody.
I can relate so much to the movie. Right now my life is following that exact path.

Donna,

Thanks for your words. So many of them speak my own experience.
I cried and felt inspired through the whole movie. My wife is not ready to see the movie yet either.
I do not know if our marriage will survive, and, we are both in therapy and walking through the process.
Some days I am thrilled and love myself and my spouse with all my heart no matter what happens...
Some days I hate that I need to be who I am and/or I am resentful that she is not jumping up and down with joy for me to be who I am and wanted to go shopping and help me learn to do make-up.

I am doing my best to lean into my loving community and celebrate that today I am closer to expressing my true self and being known than anytime in the last 40 some years.

Peace to your soul
Stevie

[Sky]

I enjoy watching Blazing Saddles because its absurdity makes me laugh. I don't find myself relating to the characters. (well, maybe Mongo a little...)

No Lily Von Shtupp??? :sad:

[AnnieMac]

"It's twue, it's twue!"

[TaraGrace]

Saw a trailer of 'the Danish girl' yesterday with my SO just before the start of 'the Revenant', and since that DiCaprio movie was such a disappointment we decided to watch 'the Danish girl' at home today in hope of it being a movie worthwhile.

I don't mind a slow paced movie as long as it has a good story and strong acting..
On acting, both thumbs up for Alicia Vikander playing wife Gerda, every scene she did came off as authentic.

How did I relate to the movie?

Well I did not.. and probably because certain aspects were layered on so thick.. whilst others were rushed over very sloppy and unconvincing.. such a niche topic could have been done A LOT better in the subtile hands of a Scandinavian director in my honest opinion.. (and not because of the location, but because they tend to do complex emotions a lot better).

So as the movie lacks details and finess, skips over complex parts but instead of editing them complete out goes over them like a grocery list.. and it's very obviously aimed to reach an audience (and cash in) as wide as possible.. even parts where I could possibly relate - such as the couple in their peek moment of bliss and happiness doing things together even after Lilly arrived - I can't relate because it comes over as fake.

Still.. an important movie which I hope will open the door to a few more.. thinking of all the movies done on the 'enigma' device, there is hope yet I might see a movie in the future feeling more realistic (despite this being based on historic events).

x Tara

[Chelsea B]

The early scenes were similar to how I view female clothes, the way he touched and revelled in their softness and glamour. I watched the film with my wife and it did cross my mind that she would be sat there thinking that I do that with her clothes when she wears them. Little did she know that I would come clean with her less than a week later! :straightface:

Of course, the main character's journey soon went beyond anywhere I would ever go, but it was interesting none-the-less.

Spot on for me, Sarah. I told my wife about two weeks after we saw the movie together. In fact, the movie was the final catalyst for my decision to begin dressing after a long hiatus and come out to her.

[heatherdress]

I think this would be a rather difficult movie for a wife to see and then have their husband tell them they are a crossdresser. I would think the wife would not only have to deal with the fact that they have been told they are married to a crossdresser, but additional fear of a possible future transition because the movie's plot is about a married couple who face challenges much greater than the simple desire to crossdress. The movie contained a progression of the most difficult challenges a married couple could face to include: the need to relocate from their home and country; abandoning a career; adultery; and eventual dissolution of the marriage.

[Joni Beauman]

I went en femme by myself; sigh, my wife looked the other way as I left - as was our agreement. I was early and walked around the block and got a drink at a new bar nearby the theater. Was fine with the film's pacing, development, look, and revelation sequences. The courage to be the first to attempt a surgical final solution is testament to the degree of commitment Lily had to transition. However, as much as I would like to generally be in support of transition - sometime I think about frequently - in the end, I felt that in turning away from compromise with Gerda, too much was sacrificed for an attempt at personal, individualistic gain. I was glad to return home to a loving wife with whom compromise has been worth our ongoing love and companionship. And indeed, after a just-completed 2-week holiday traveling - it was family time, not Joni time, and we both had fun. I find it helps to move about, hike, observe nature, see new lands, and meet new people to provide temporary distraction from the usual self-indulgences. Joni

[flatlander_48]

I think some our collective expectations are misplaced. We have to remember that this wasn't a documentary. It was a theatrical movie. As such, it is designed to entertain; first and foremost. The best that we can hope for is that the parts of the story they choose to tell will be reasonably accurate and done with sensitivity. I think many of us need to rein in our expectations...

DeeAnn

[Eryn]

I think some our collective expectations are misplaced. We have to remember that this wasn't a documentary. It was a theatrical movie. As such, it is designed to entertain;

There is truth to your statement, but I think that the movie was more of a statement piece than an entertainment. I certainly didn't feel entertained by it. Moved, yes, but not entertained.



...I enjoy watching Blazing Saddles because its absurdity makes me laugh. I don't find myself relating to the characters. (well, maybe Mongo a little...)....
No Lily Von Shtupp??? :sad:

I love Lily (and find it a bit ironic that we are discussing two incredibly dissimilar movies both of whom have characters named Lily/Lili)

Unlike Lily, I an not attracted to Cleavon Little, no matter the qualities of his schnitzengruben.

However Mongo has me pegged when he says "Mongo only pawn... in game of life." :)

[Suzanne F]

I went en femme by myself; sigh, my wife looked the other way as I left - as was our agreement. I was early and walked around the block and got a drink at a new bar nearby the theater. Was fine with the film's pacing, development, look, and revelation sequences. The courage to be the first to attempt a surgical final solution is testament to the degree of commitment Lily had to transition. However, as much as I would like to generally be in support of transition - sometime I think about frequently - in the end, I felt that in turning away from compromise with Gerda, too much was sacrificed for an attempt at personal, individualistic gain. I was glad to return home to a loving wife with whom compromise has been worth our ongoing love and companionship. And indeed, after a just-completed 2-week holiday traveling - it was family time, not Joni time, and we both had fun. I find it helps to move about, hike, observe nature, see new lands, and meet new people to provide temporary distraction from the usual self-indulgences. Joni

Joni
I just wanted to say as a woman who is transitioning with a wife that it is much deeper than personal individualistic gain. That is an assessment by a cross dresser who seeks more time dressing up. Married TS women who transition later after having been married risk everything to finally feel right in the world. It isn't a matter of deciding to choose our personal gain over our wives. It is a matter of having to finally be real no matter what the cost to us personally. This myth that we have picked being a woman over loving our wives is detrimental to making real progress for everyone facing gender issues. I respect your decision to compromise with your wife about cross dressing but maybe you should try to better understand those of us who finally choose to be our authentic selves 24/7.
Suzanne

[ReineD]

^ Well said, Suzanne F. I can't wait to see the movie.


One of the things that bothers me a little about all the media attention lately on gender dysphoria (Transparent, Caitllyn Jenner, the Danish Girl) is that it does send a message that transition is the end game for all who crossdress.

No, the message it gives is that transition is the end game for transsexuals.

I think there's a lot of confusion about what is a crossdresser vs a transsexual, and the sooner crossdressers and their wives understand the difference, the more peaceful their lives will be. Gosh, we can tell the differences just based on the various reactions to the film in this thread.

Audrey if your wife feels disturbed over seeing these shows and she thinks they apply to you, do try to explain and make her believe that you are not TS because you do not have the dire need to physically transition your body to an authentic self no matter the personal cost, as Suzanne explains so eloquently.

Kate T, I can't wait to feel the love between them as you describe as well.

[Marcelle]

I think this would be a rather difficult movie for a wife to see and then have their husband tell them they are a crossdresser. I would think the wife would not only have to deal with the fact that they have been told they are married to a crossdresser, but additional fear of a possible future transition because the movie's plot is about a married couple who face challenges much greater than the simple desire to crossdress.

True Heather which is why communication after the "big tell" is a necessary requirement. If the person truly knows they are CD only and it will never go beyond some "pink fog moments" then they need to discuss and educate as best they can. To not do so could IMHO lead an SO to think something other than dressing is on the agenda . . . talk, talk, talk and talk some more . . . take a break and . . . continue talking.


However, as much as I would like to generally be in support of transition - sometime I think about frequently - in the end, I felt that in turning away from compromise with Gerda, too much was sacrificed for an attempt at personal, individualistic gain. I was glad to return home to a loving wife with whom compromise has been worth our ongoing love and companionship. And indeed, after a just-completed 2-week holiday traveling - it was family time, not Joni time, and we both had fun. I find it helps to move about, hike, observe nature, see new lands, and meet new people to provide temporary distraction from the usual self-indulgences. Joni

Hi Joni,

That is the fundamental difference between CDers and TS . . . CDers enjoy the occasional moment or two of dressing and presenting as a woman for a variety of reasons (sexual, fantasy, emotional control, just feeling good) whereas we (TS) are women. If I did not accept this in myself and continue to hide it pretending I was CD not TS (which I did for awhile) it would have bled out into my marriage in other ways . . . anger, frustration, resentment, depression. The need to align ourselves with our target gender is not about individualistic gain . . . it is about survival. This is nothing another hobby can help quell . . . it is an imperative. Some TS folks loose everything when they transition . . . it is a risk many take. Others do not. My wife is still with me, we still enjoy each other's company and have fun :). Not hacking on you, just pointing out the difference.

Cheers

Marcelle

[josrphine]

Hi Doc, My wife took me to the movie, after she had seen it with her girl friend of a lot of yrs. I got into it as how great we have it now, yes there is more battles to win. By the way her girl friend new I C D. but never had seen me dressed. My wife an I were going to church on a Sunday night an her girl friend asked if she could join us, my wife said yes but Joe goes as Josephine and every one there love him. She said O K an when we went to pick her up, the first words out of her mouth was WOW . Your make-up looks great. She sat in the back of the car an I could see her trying to get a better look at me. When we got to church I got out first an opened the back door for her an she saw my boobs, another WOW. I closed the door an she saw I had on a skirt an low heels , I got another WOW. The night went great she was amazed when we went to a local mexican place to eat. I think I have a new friend . Wife was so happy with the outcome. Jo

[flatlander_48]

There is truth to your statement, but I think that the movie was more of a statement piece than an entertainment. I certainly didn't feel entertained by it. Moved, yes, but not entertained.

Much closer to entertainment than to a documentary...

DeeAnn

[TrishaLake]

I am reading the book right now...shhh don't tell me the end

[Bria]

I watched the movie with my wife when it first came out, I thought it was great/moving, a great love story. I certainly related to Lili, and my wife related to Gerda. I don't know about my wife, but my eyes were wet. We were not surprised at the Oscar nomination. I think the pace was deliberate, I think how slowly I came to terms with the idea that I wanted to wear women's clothes.

I definitely recommend it. One of my TS friends saw it three times!

Hugs, Bria

[Ddannie]

I went en femme by myself;.... I was early and walked around the block .... and got a drink. Was fine with the film's pacing, development, look, and revelation sequences. Joni

Joni,
Your email almost exactly described my movie experience last night. I am also struggling with many of the same marital issue and am very unsure where it will end up. I have been away from this forum for a while but I strongly related to Lili's sense of being alone and isolated and truly unknown to most of the people in her life. I am back posting for the selfish reason of trying to ease the loneliness. Your post helped!
Daniele