Something intertesting happened at work

[Rileyaz]

I shared the following post with a friend of mine and she suggested I share it with the forum.


In my non work time I am an instructor. I was with two clients on Sunday morning. Both are men in their early 70's. When we finished up and were walking to our cars one of them commented that when they were looking for me earlier someone offered them help. My one client said "it was the one with the fingernail polish. I think she used to be a man but I'm not sure." I said, "I know who you mean. Does it bother you?"
He said "What do I care? it's not my life. So long as they aren't shoving it down my throat."
The other guy said basically the same thing.

So there is feedback from two senior citizen conservative men. Nobody really cares even if they know or suspect the truth.

Riley

[Jenniferathome]

I think Riley was highlighting the nature of the average Joe or "normal." They don't really care. I would say that conservative senior citizen is right on. It AIN'T his life! So how would it affect him? Good on him

[Tracii G]

I get flak for my nail polish, pink hair ties and earrings but I just tell them bite me.
The flak is from friends mostly just ribbing me. The others I have no idea what they think but they have never said anything to me about it.
They are all cool and one of the owners (female) knows I dress so its all good.

[ChristinaK]

Thank you, Riley.

I wear translucent pink polish and have wondered what others think. Nobody has said anything, but coupled with my long, feminine hair and often female tops, your post gives me insight into what others think.

Same as I feel about gays. Don't ram it down my throat, mind your own business and everything is cool. Sorry if I offended anybody.

As my dear Momma used to say, "to each, their own."

[Rileyaz]

Jennifer,
You are absolutely correct. This is just another example of how most people just don't care. As long as they are treated with respect they respond the same way. The two seniors said that the person was very helpful in directing them to me and they thanked her.

[suzanne]

I totally agree, but my wife and I are a bit stuck on the term "ramming it down my throat". I know what it means, but where's the line between "just being myself" in a dress and ramming it down your throat?

I'll change the scenario just a bit. I'm in the mall with my wife and she's holding my hand as we go. Are we ramming anything down anyone else's throat? Most people would say no, right? How about a lesbian couple, doing exactly the same thing as us? A gay couple? I would say none of the three couples are doing any more than just being themselves. Nothing about their behavior is announcing "Hey, look at us! Suck on that, cuz you can't do anything about it!"

So when I'm out in my most tastefully selected, age appropriate dress, I feel I'm just being myself. I know people notice me, but that's truly not my intention. I'm most comfortable flying under the radar. But my wife thinks I'm "In your face". I'm still trying to find a way to find a way to help her see it more my way.

[lingerieLiz]

People notice the unusual. Used to be biracial couples would be stared at. As norms change the unusual is no longer surprising. Today people are getting used to gender variations.

[Jazzy Jaz]

I agree with suzanne's post. I think that its far less likely for straight couples or cisgender people to be accused of ramming it down someones throut. People can cross obscenity laws etc but that will be a problem regardless of sexuality/gender. If there's acceptance then the expression "ramming it down my throut" isn't really relavant. There are SOME folks who may try to coerce people to be straight with laws etc ( which could be considered ramming it down your throut) but I can't think of an instance where LGBT's have tried to impose laws to coerce straight/cisgender people to be LGBT.

[taylormercedes]

So there is feedback from two senior citizen conservative men. Nobody really cares even if they know or suspect the truth.

Riley

That's great that more and more people are learning that what people do in their own privacy does not certainly harm some else's life. Unfortunately though I had the opposite experience with 2 coworkers of mine tonight. I somehow stumbled onto the conversation of a drag queen in Hungary who performs with a full beard but everything else femme. They couldn't understand why a guy would want to be in a dress without wanting to be a girl. Some very nasty comments were made by both of them.

It's nice to know that the times are a changin' but I still feel like there are plenty bog bigoted people still left in this world.

[donnalee]

I think it is more something I was taught as a basic courtesy wben very young - MYOB! An unusual concept in this day of political correctness, but a valid one, still.

[ambigendrous]

I totally agree, but my wife and I are a bit stuck on the term "ramming it down my throat". I know what it means, but where's the line between "just being myself" in a dress and ramming it down your throat?

To my mind if a couple is walking in a mall, or downtown, or wherever, and holding hands or even walking with their arms around each other's waist it's something that couples do, no matter their orientation. Where it crosses the line to "ramming it down my throat" is if they start swapping spit, or massaging their partner's tonsils, or putting their hands into their partner's pants - again it doesn't matter what their orientation is, that's crossing the line!

[sometimes_miss]

"What do I care? it's not my life. So long as they aren't shoving it down my throat."

The problem becomes, what is considered 'shoving it down my throat', and who gets to define it. I remember several people who were very angry and vocal about it, when Kaitlyn Jenner came out. They HATED any mention of her on the radio, TV, magazine or newspaper that she even existed. They felt that Kaitlyn was at fault for being in the newspaper, that she was 'in his face' all day long. Many actually believed that Kaitlyn planned it all, to get attention so they could get more interest in their TV show, that it was all just publicity, and they didn't want to have to keep thinking about 'that f***in freak'.

[Stephanie47]

I would also have some concerns as defining "shoving it down my throat." I don't know what the laws are in Arizona related to transgender rights. In Washington State the laws are very favorable for protections in the work place and public accommodations. Some municipalities go even further with housing. However, laws to not necessarily confer acceptance. I suspect those two seniors have some limitations that were not stated. I suspect they would deal with transgenders and gays/lesbians on a professional level, but, would not be so welcoming on a social level. And, that raises a problem with society. It segments society into little niche's from which most people do not leave.

[Pat]

I don't think the point is the throat-shoving. I think the point is that two older, conservative men were casual about meeting what they presumed was a MtF person.

The definition of throat-shoving rests with the individual and there's no way to predict any individual's threshold. But I think what we're seeing is a general rise in the average threshold now that people are becoming aware that transgender exists and they take some time to conclude that it has no effect on them.

[Krisi]

People will be people and they all have their acceptances and prejudices. It also depends on the situation. It's something we need to understand and we also need to understand that we cannot change what other people think or believe.

It's good that these gentlemen were OK with what may have been a crossdresser or transsexual helping them find someone but they may or may not have been OK with the same person serving them lunch in a restaurant. They are human and humans are unique.