Purge vs. Abstinence

[Meghan4now]

So we've all seen posts where the OP vows that they are purging and quitting for what ever reason. Just to be followed up with posts of, "You'll be back" and "It can't be done". I hate to see that response, even if there is some truth to it. (Could be, or Not, I am not qualified to proclaim another's resolve from a forum post.) I prefer to see individuals encouraged to make healthy and life affirming descisions, even if they are hard choices.

Anyway, it can sometimes be helpful to step away from behaviors that we have difficulty controlling, or that create chaos in our relationships. Taking some time to reflect, look at life from a different perspective. This does not mean that you've ruled out the possibilities. Maybe you will after that period, maybe you'll recognizes value in that time.

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. For me, this is a time for such reflection. Instead of giving up candy or beer, I usually try to give up habits that I think are not as personally healthy as they could be. I've given up complaining, swearing, pestering and other things in the past.

This year I am giving up posting here. I find that I spend more time here than I should. I am not saying there is no value in it, but as part of a balance, giving up posting is my choice. In fact, I will likely not even visit the site much in the next 40 days. For my friends that I usually provide feedback on, remember I'm still in your corner. If you really need my feedback on something PM me, I'll still get email.

Now feel free to rip this post apart, or add your own thoughts and reflections as you will. In the mean time, know that I love you.

[Alice Torn]

Meghan, I can relate some, every year , about this time. I have to go through great soul searching, before i take the Christian Passover. It is a difficult time , as i have a temper, whine, am not very trusting of people, self centered, obsess, am envious and jealous of those with loving SO's and wives, and i am a loner. Backing off is a good thing at times, from whatever it is that weighs us down. I know i could be doing more outgoing, constructive things, than dressing, and being on the computer, but, this is kind of a support group for us, as there is almost no support anywhere else, for us who have this compulsion.

[JeanetteX]

Meghan,

Personally I think you're overreacting, but please feel free to do whatever you think you need to do and what's right for you. And at least you have the decency of notifying your friends so they don't have to worry about what's going on or what happened to you. I admire you for that. There are plenty of girls leaving here without a trace. Believe me I've seen that happen, also with ones I thought were my friends. Good luck girl and I hope you do come back to us eventually!

BTW I won't miss your difficult posts on the 'Song Chain Game' thread!!!! LOL

[Stephanie47]

I grew up in a heavily Roman Catholic neighborhood in Queens, New York. Every year the Catholics gave up something for Lent. I always figured if whatever someone was giving up for Lent because it was interfering with their relationships or self (like eating gluttonously), then maybe they should not have been engaging in that activity outside of Lent also. No? I am married to a woman who spends absolutely too much time on our computer. It's remarkable that her eyeballs don't pop out of her head from straining. Every once in a while the computer goes on the fritz and I have to take it in for a tuneup or repair. She actually goes through DT's.

It's your choice to give up posting here. Or even visiting here. I don't know how much time you spend on this site, but, when you do come back let us know how you used the freed up time. If you use the freed up time for something worthwhile, then, is it not something that you should be doing forever? Hope you spend the additional time playing with your kids, if you have any, and, going for a walk with your wife.

"See you soon!"

[Nadine Spirit]

... I prefer to see individuals encouraged to make healthy and life affirming descisions...

I think that within that phrase lies the difficulties of what you are suggesting. This idea that regardless of what people state they are going to do we should support them. Kind of a backwards example would be, what if I decided to start smoking because I am stressed, and I have determine that it would be best for me to start smoking because of its stress relieving qualities. Should everyone just support me in that endeavor?

Listen, if you are not interested in posting here, then go for it, I am totally in support of you and think that anyone has the ability to do whatever they set their minds to. Yes that includes the ability to control cross dressing. If someone makes up their minds to never do it again, I think that some are capable of that. Ridding yourself of the desire, that is more complicated, in my opinion.

[michelleddg]

As a person of deep faith it comes as no surprise you would want to give up something difficult and meaningful for Lent. May doing so strengthen and reinforce your beliefs. Hugs, Michelle