From the other side

[Sissyboy2]

Today at work a cross dresser came in to the casino where I work. As a cross dresser myself I was observing how other people treated him,her.

Most of the people didn't care. A few people were talking softly to their SO smiling and laughing.

As for the servers a couple of them cared. A few of the made small little jokes. It wasn't like the shock factor that I don't think he was hoping to get. One server just said how she was acting too masculine for what he was wearing. Another server just said "he just likes the panties".

Overall it made me realize I don't want that kind of attention on me. At least in a casino with that kind of clientele. In my opinion it didn't look fun to be in the public with that many people staring in not that good of a reaction. I guess you can really pass than go for it or if you just don't care what that many people think.

To me I'll just stay dressed while at home.

[Rachelakld]

I went to Auckland Sky City Casino in January, liked the attention, very polite, didn't like giving my money away (luckily wife won more than we lost)
One staff mention how much nicer I would look with short hair - I really love my long hair, but you know she was just trying to be helpful

257361

[Robin414]

Interesting post SB, kinda like the 'fly on the wall' perspective. I'm not into the whole point 'n stare thing myself either. That said though I'm out quite often 'en tween' lately (think guy trying to look like a chic but trying to not look like a chic but most of all, being natural )...ya, makes me dizzy thinking about it too but it works 😃 ).

I do go out full femme (mostly spring/summer) but when I do I dress to completely pass (just don't start a conversation or try to hit on me...cuz ya know I'll fight ya 😡 )

[sometimes_miss]

I work with the public, too, and also get to hear what people think about us because I'm not 'out'. And it's usually not very nice. Outwardly, I can't remember the last time one of the staff said anything mean to the CD/TS about it to their face, but behind their backs, discussion, giggles, snickering and laughing was going on. Not everyone, of course; but enough of these college educated bast***s who really should know better. The world isn't exactly CD/TS friendly quite yet.

[sara.rafaela]

I go out a lot, to clubs and bars. I went to casinos last year as part of DLV. I think I pass at a distance. I do not pass if you seriously check me out or talk to me. Still, at clubs I get a lot of attention. People chat me up. Sometimes I get into very interesting conversations. I really like this. I am part of the show! If I went out in guy clothes, in jeans in a golf shirt, how fun would that be?

[Jenniferathome]

... or if you just don't care what that many people think...

Do you really care what a stranger thinks? How does their "thought" affect you? Basically, none of us pass, and yet we have fun when out. If you don't want to go out, that is a choice you can make. But if you are making that choice because of a fear of what others might think, you've given up too easily.

[Robin414]

Love the post Jennifer (as always)! You and I should hook up with M. Moose for drinks some time...or maybe not ? 😂

[Samantha981]

I have gone out several times, just over a year ago came to the feeling that I definitely wanted to . Not as much as many here. Hoped I would "pass" but of course I don't. As Jennifer mentions, none of us will fully pass. When I go out I do make my best effort to look my best and also have many feminine cues. I made the mistake my first few times to over dress and wear a sexy dress and 4" heels to the mall :doh: . NOT the way to fit in. I still have and wear the dresses at home, they are fun. Maybe I will go to a event with others that such a dress is appropriate. But now I dress to fit in, with jeans or skirt, with a top. I add a necklace, bracelet, purse, earrings and of course full makeup and a wig. So at a glance it all fits! Everyone is too busy with their own shopping to notice. I know when close or chat with an SA, they do know. Maybe they giggle or joke after I leave... regardless I am always polite and friendly, and maybe their experience with me will slowly change their mind and sink in that we're really OK :)
I just mention all this in case you have a desire to go out, something to think about your expectations. If you do stay close but go outside comfort zone a bit - just don't go off the deep end the first time!!!
Samantha

[Sissyboy2]

Do you really care what a stranger thinks? How does their "thought" affect you? Basically, none of us pass, and yet we have fun when out. If you don't want to go out, that is a choice you can make. But if you are making that choice because of a fear of what others might think, you've given up too easily.


I guess for me it's like even though I shouldnt care. You can feel a negative energy in the room around you.

[Sallee]

I have been out a lot but never to a casino. It is on the bucket list. I think I pass some of the time but never all the time certainly voice is a give away. When something like that happened, "getting checked out" i use to think it was because I was so good looking, boy can I fool myself. Mostly now I just ignore it and figure I'll never see those people again anyway, so why worry, just enjoy yourself. If you are part of the show all the better. Enjoy the attention

[Adriana Moretti]

a bunch of us hit a casino at the last Keystone Conference... different scenario though..there is strength in numbers ....sure some gals drew attention , but our group did very well, in fact alot of the vanilla people were hanging out with us, complemented us, and the servers said we were the best and most fun customers they had all night. The ocassional redneck was in awe, but you only live once right ? Who cares what others think. The more gals get out..the less people will care. And what other people think shouldnt matter anyway . If you felt a negative energy in the room....that CD brought that on herself

[Stephanie47]

I guess for me it's like even though I shouldnt care. You can feel a negative energy in the room around you.

I'm with Sissy on this one. It's a personal choice as to whether one will venture forth from the security of their domicile or walk brazenly among the entire world. Of course, there is middle ground. Sure, there's going to be glances of disapproval. And giggles. Sometimes overt hostility and rude comments. I think the issues comes down to what she gets out of it. Is her goal peace and serenity? Then, that feeling will probably be lost due to all the observable negativity. I've seen many many threads and comments where the girl limits herself to accepting social clubs and support groups. However, that environment is not available to everyone. And, the threads of traveling to distant towns or malls to avoid the home grown folks with the pitchforks.

[Amanda M]

The behid the back giggles and snickers are simply the result of those people trying to bond in a group that has no understanding of what their "target" was. Sad really, but a form of ignorance that needs to be either enlightened or ignored.

[Michelle Girl]

Stephanie mentioned the "middle ground" above...and this is probably where you'll find me.

For so many years I have dressed in private at home or, more often, in a hotel room. My only venture outside was to the back garden. What a waste of all this sartorial feminine elegance, I would say to myself😄 So, just three weeks ago I went out on my own in London for the first time with no support. Fully dressed, makeup, with skirt and winter boots for a walk through crowded city streets in the evening rush hour.

I never thought I was capable of doing this. But some encouragement from reading the posts on this site helped embolden me to do it. It was just so liberating to feel the cool air around my legs and the swish of my skirt in public. Outside, no one seemed to notice. They were far too busy rushing for a train or chattering on their phones. So, there was the great sensation of being in a crowd and not being noticed. Being just another woman going about her business.

And this is the essence for me. More than anything I have simply wanted to be able to wear feminine clothes in private and public. It's not about a display. It's a yearning for this to be normal...just like most everyone else on this site.

The hardest bit was the close-up zone - by which i mean getting from the hotel room to the street, and the same in reverse on the way back. That anxiety of being read up close in a corridor or, worse, in the elevator on the way down. This is what fuels the sense of vulnerability about being ridiculed, or worse. But, I thought, sometimes you just have get through that if you want the reward. I wanted to go in for a coffee to a café there, but didn't as that could have ruined the great positive experience. I felt elated that I had achieved this. I know it's not for everyone, and the risk can be high, but going out has been such an important aspiration for me. One I really didn't think I'd ever attempt.

So cross dressing has become more than just one of the most delicious pursuits in life. It's made me feel good about my inner strength to overcome this barrier. But I will continue to tread carefully. I know if I go into the close-up zone I will get read and this could destroy the wonderful feeling I get. I have recently gone out in support groups for the first time, also. The safety in numbers allows me to venture along the street or in bars and experience being feminine in these places. So, it's a twin approach.

I'll keep reading and listening to all the comments and advice from the girls here. Thank you.

Love, Michelle

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Sissy,
First of all.... did someone mention drinks?????
I can see where you as an "educated observer" might see
the comments made by your co-workers as negativity to the entire
CD community, I've not had a CDer in presence (other than myself in drab) and
have heard the same type of comments come from many peoples mouths.
Were they seriously concerned that a CDer was in the casino? Should that CDer
have been concerned for their own safety? I'm guessing, mmmmm, probably not!
So what it really come down to is this... Your worrying about what somebody may be saying
to somebody without your knowledge of them actually ever speaking to one another. Let alone what
rude or inappropriate comments they may have made without your knowledge.
Sure, so you now know that it does happen, and could happen if your out there.
But does that tree falling actually make a sound if your not there to hear it?
The only way to get past that, is to go out and have some fun!
If someone offers that rude comment...chin up, and carry on. (Or call Robin over to fight 'em! )
The highs you experience from the fun times will far exceed the lows brought on by
that person with the offensive comment.
Now where the Hell are those damn drinks I keep hearing about!
Much Love,
Kristyn

[josrphine]

Hi Sis Boy, I go to our local casino on a regular basic. I have a great repor with the staff , like samantha said you dress as the other women there do an no one notices. The only way we as a group will be part of the people there is to blend in. Look at the picture of Adriana groups, they all blend in it just another groupe of women out for a good time. I do get second looks but I don't CARE . I am being me. Jo

[Nadine Spirit]

Sure, there's going to be glances of disapproval. And giggles. Sometimes overt hostility and rude comments.

I feel as though I pass the glance test, but upon closer inspection, it is quite obvious that I am a guy. And yes I have seen glances of disapproval, but never any giggles, and never hostility, and in ten years, maybe two or three rude comments.

I've gotten worse while out and dressed as a guy. What can I say? Not everyone on this planet is polite. Hmmm....




... to avoid the home grown folks with the pitchforks.

I hope this was meant as sarcasm. I frequently use the idea of being pitchforked as an explanation of what I think will happen and how absurd that idea is when compared with the reality of how people treat me.

I am aware that people may talk about me while I am not in their presence. In fact I assume that people will talk about me. But it does not bother me, because it does not affect me.

If none of us ever venture forth into the world then we have no hope of ever becoming normalized. Some of us, that do not fully pass, need to be brave and get out there and introduce the world to the fact that we are just another iteration of the human condition, as normal as all the rest of the people on the planet can hope to be.

[Krisi]

Some of us go out in public hoping to pass as women. For us, the nasty looks, comments and giggles hurt because they mean we failed at passing.

Other crossdressers go out in public with an "in your face" attitude and probably welcome the comments.

Regardless, if you don't pass and are obviously a crossdresser, you can bet the people you meet will be talking to each other, making jokes, etc. That's how people are. They are not trying to bond or being ignorant, they are being human.