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dreamer_2.0
02-13-2016, 10:00 AM
Tonight at midnight I am DJ'ing at a small rave. While spinning music is always exciting, what will make tonight extra special is that it will be Holly's first night out!

Now, I've played gigs in drag before, more than a few actually. It got to the point where people started asking questions I wasn't prepared to answer publicly, "does ___ actually want to be a woman?" The attention these "costumes" brought, while not negative, quite the opposite actually, only helped push me further into the closet. Despite the positive experiences, they were also quite triggering. After all, I was only wearing a costume, everything was fake; a joke performed purely for laughs and reactions. (Ha!!)

There's a difference between those previous gigs and tonight though. Tonight isn't drag. It isn't a costume. It isn't a joke.

It's me and just me...

No wig. No fake boobs. No extravagant clubby costume. Just Holly and what HRT has given me.

Perhaps needless to say, I am both very excited and nervous. As my dysphoria worsened, I faded from the rave scene years ago and despite playing in front of hundreds of people in drag, virtually no one from the scene knows about Holly. Considering those in attendance, I'm not overly concerned about acceptance. I believe that my rave days taught me more about love, acceptance and peace than my early religious days. Though, having said that, I haven't played a gig, or even been out, as a woman in probably 7 years. It'll be interesting to see if people who remember me from back then comment "oh look, ___ is dressed as a woman again." Secretly I'm hoping they add, "actually I think ___ is a woman."

A funny memory from the old drag gigs was people's fascinations with boobs. My boobs were fake but they didn't escape attention, which included being grabbed numerous times. Given they were fake, this was no big deal. But now? Do I let people touch and grab my real boobs like the fake ones? I...don't...think...I'd be uncomfortable with it and could actually see it being a comical icebreaker.

Person: "Wow, your boobs feel so real!"

Me: "Well, that's because they are...By the way, I should probably tell you something."

Of course, the flip side of the coin makes me wonder if grabbing a real chest expecting a fake one would make them uncomfortable which is certainly not my intention.

Another source of nerves would be if photos are taken. Given I'll be front and centre pics are quite likely, I acknowledge that, and there is a good chance they'll be posted online for all to see. I can't predict the outcome here, it may be positive, negative or maybe a complete non-issue. My crystal ball is in the shop for maintenance so I'll have to find out what happens the old fashioned way.

My first real night out...what will it bring?

In other news, I can't decide between wearing a long, black, gothy skirt or some old raver pants. The skirt is cuter, but significantly harder to maneuver in given it's almost a hobble-type skirt. This might make setting up and taking down my gear challenging. The pants are definitely more raver'ish and fitting for the theme of the party. They would be more practical and easier to work with as well......but I wanna wear a skirt.

*throws on a beat* Skirts or pants or skirts or pants or skirts or pants or skirts or pants or skirts or pants or..........

PretzelGirl
02-13-2016, 10:36 AM
Holly, this will be nerve wracking naturally because it is the first time. But you are being you and when you do that, you will get through it and life will have a little upswing. As far as anyone touching you, I would draw a firm line against it. First, it is dangerous and can lead to escalating behavior. Second, it objectifies you and can easily lead to people not taking you seriously as Holly. You are a woman and you are strong. Show them that and don't let them take anything away from you!

dreamer_2.0
02-13-2016, 10:53 AM
You raise a good point there, Sue. As this is no longer a costume I have to get into the right mindset and treat it as such. I've never been objectified before, to my knowledge, so I'm not used to that type of thinking.

Kalista Drake
02-13-2016, 11:10 AM
Good luck tonight Holly! Don't let anyone grab you. If they respect you, they won't do it. I wish I could be there with you. Never been to a raver. It sounds like fun!

dreamer_2.0
02-13-2016, 01:47 PM
Well, as it stands right now, due to an idiotic decision made by the promoters which has since turned into a PR disaster, the party is currently cancelled. There's a small chance it will be saved but I doubt it.

On one hand I'm laughing at a pure example of idiocracy. On the other hand, I'm deeply disappointed and will have to wait a bit longer to reveal Holly.

Oh well.

Frances
02-13-2016, 01:59 PM
I like this thread a lot.

dreamer_2.0
02-13-2016, 02:18 PM
...thank you?

JanePeterson
02-13-2016, 02:22 PM
I'm so sorry it's canceled!!! Maybe you can have some other low key outing with a trusted friend to comisserate?

Georgette_USA
02-13-2016, 02:30 PM
Holly sorry to hear of your lost outing. There will be more opportunities I'm sure.

As for being objectified, in my past and current experience that is something that can happen.

When I was a newly minted physical female in my late 20s, found that out to be very true. Had never really thought of men in a sexual way before that. Would go out clubbing, some guy wines/dines/dancing and such. I figured what the hell, might as well check it out. After too many just sex times, said the hell with that. Didn't want just to be some guys plaything. Then as I gained weight, the ones that liked plus size women would keep after me. Now as I am a Mature age, there are younger men that want a mommy type.

Funny thing is I don't mind women that want those things. At least I know that is not all with them.

Frances
02-13-2016, 03:55 PM
...thank you?

Did I missread it or read it too fast? I thought it was a positive post. I'll read the OP again.

EDIT: I had not seen the cancelled part. I was just going by the OP, which I liked.

dreamer_2.0
02-13-2016, 07:28 PM
Ahhhh ok, bad timing on my part then. I thought you enjoyed it after being cancelled. Apologies!!

*insert block of time*

And we're back on!!!!! Venue gave the go-ahead and the promoters can continue with the party...meaning, Holly can continue with her night!! :)

MissDanielle
02-13-2016, 07:41 PM
Have fun tonight!

Megan G
02-13-2016, 07:55 PM
That's great Holly! Now go enjoy being you!! ☺️

dreamer_2.0
02-14-2016, 03:32 AM
Survived the night and, despite no groping, I definitely had some fun! Think I'll do it again sometime. :D

Interestingly, I didn't come out to anyone tonight; didn't have the opportunity to. In fact, no one even batted an eyelash at my appearance. It was a complete non-issue which, on one hand is good, though on the other hand it would've been nice to get some type of acknowledgment that I looked different. The only comment I received was from an old friend saying I looked as pretty as always...while using my male name. There were a few others who knew me, had no trouble recognizing me, and also used my male name. Though, I can't really blame them, they only know my male name. They likely all thought I was in drag again and are used to it.

All in all it was a good, albeit uneventful, night for Holly's debut. I've got another gig at the end of the month so I'll definitely being doing this again...and again, all the way until full-time.

Marcelle
02-14-2016, 05:19 AM
Hi Holly,

So glad the venue went back on track and you go to have your night after all! You may have seen it as uneventful . . . which sometimes can be a good thing. Good luck on your next gig.

Cheers

Marcelle

Jennifer-GWN
02-14-2016, 07:51 AM
Holly;

This may sound running but a non event is truly a MONUMENTAL event. It's telling it's validation. For those who commented using your male name they'll likely have no issue when you revel Holly.

My only comment based on a couple things you mentioned and it might just be me, my age, and not familiar with the rave scene... Love and respect your body, regardless of the situation. You deserve the respect not only for what you are doing but also for who you are.

We love you. You for who you are as a person. A beautiful emerging woman.

Cheers... Jennifer

PretzelGirl
02-14-2016, 11:30 AM
Fantastic Holly! I was going to say to use their calling you by a male name as an opportunity to introduce them to Holly, but that may be tough as I imagine you were pretty busy. Getting some of them caught up may take time, depending on how you know any of them outside of this venue. But I would take those opportunities as they arise and it will start changing. There will be a time you won't want to hear your dead name, so it is good to perform the education when opportunity is there.

Love that you had fun while not giving ground on physical contact. It works!

Kalista Drake
02-14-2016, 05:59 PM
Congrats Holly!! Good luck on your next gig! :)