Your thots and questions about dressers that r a bit different from u? Like me?

[docrobbysherry]

First, let me say this post and this site is NOT about knocking others, it's about supporting them. So, in that vein:

I wear masks to achieve what I consider to be a female appearance. So, I'm someone who dresses differently from u. My masks freak out some of my closest T buddies. But, let's NOT get into that now. I KNOW what folks think about them.:brolleyes:

My question is not intended to be about the "different" dressers u chuckle at, don't get, or just make u scratch your head. It's about what YOUR reactions and questions to them r. :eek:
For example: Here's a question I have thot about over and over again!

Here's one: I wear silicone prosthesis and other gear to create a fem figure. I've read many posts here and seen countless pics of members who look quite fem in selfies and avatars. But, with obviously male bodies. U all wear breast forms. And, some of u wear girdles or other shaping devices. But, few wear the hip/butt pads that can make all the difference in changing a male to female appearance. I think to myself, "Don't they have mirrors? Why won't they wear pads and look so much more fem? They wear forms, wigs, makeup, etc., so why not pads?" Can anyone explain this? :straightface:

As u read the many varied posts here, what r some of your recurring thots? Questions u would like to ask? Things that dressers do and say here that make u wonder? Maybe we can answer a few questions without offending anyone!?:battingeyelashes:

[heatherdress]

Doc - I appreciate your appearance efforts and the terrific result of your beautiful feminine figure. You look great. But a shapely female figure is not important to me. I look more like an NFL linebacker in heels and a dress than a shapely female. But I like being a sexy, beautiful linebacker. I like muscles. I am not trying to fool anyone. I don't care about passing. My wife likes how I look. I like how I look. I blend, and that is good enough. So I don't care about pads and corsets.

[TaraGrace]

Shelly, that's an easy one for me to answer.. simply haven't gotten to it yet.. working from the top down so to speak and not happy enough yet to move further.

I've got plenty of questions that could fit your request.. but.. I'll probably ask them in a seperate thread, your request is a bit too wide and will cause multithreading and chaos if I start writing them all down I'm sure :)

[Lorileah]

after much observation amd consideration I have formed a conclusion at least for my part of the world...there isn't one standard A girly, womanly, female, feminine dame! I have to live my life like this and yes I did start with all the squeezing and plumping and crushing and restricting undergarments. Then, one day, I looked around and realized, no one was looking that closely at me. Then I looked closely at them, there were women with large breasts, small breasts and no breasts at all. There were women with waists, there were women with convex waists, there were women with no waists. Then I looked at butts, big, moderate, tight soft, and NONE! I started thinking, what women did I admire how they looked...Hmm, Lauren Bacall in "To have and have not" very boyish in what she wore yet feminine as all get out. Amy Van Dyken Olympic swimming champion, Square shoulders...no hips and no rear. Still sexy. Venus and Serena Williams, athletic and yet they didn't have all than much a dent for a waist and fairly large hands.

So point is. hips, no hips, boobs, no boobs, shoulders, big hands. I don't dress to blend, I get noticed but after 55 years of not being noticed I like when people do a double take. I am sure some know, maybe they all knew (but I doubt it because I have had to "inform" some men who hit on me at various times...and then there was the guy who tripped himself watching me walk away).

I haven't met Sherry, maybe someday I will and I may very well be taken aback for a moment, and I will apologize in advance if I do, but I think you would be a kick to party with. I have many many TG friends who don't fit the "mold" the walk the actions even some who over compensate on what they think women do...They are still some of the greatest people in the world.


Oh and quickly, I have no hips...I don't care :)

[Jenniferathome]

Sherry, what strikes me about your choice is that it looks like so much work. Maybe I'm just a lazy cross dresser. The mask freaks me out a bit too and all the facial reading we do is gone. There is a well known phenomenon that when something looks almost real it is more disturbing than when way off reality. I also prefer a narrower/athletic look so hip pads would be counter to what I like in women and hence what I like in my profile. I actually find the hourglass shape you present as too much and unflattering. I'm guessing you like women with wide hips so you emulate that. So, as always, beauty is I. Ten eye of the beholder.

[Pat]

Sherry -- You know? I've asked myself that very same question about myself. If I completely had my 'druthers, I'd get my hair styled, put on my makeup, dress and walk into the world as me with no pads, strings, straps or gizmos. And most of the time, that's exactly what I do.

There are times when I want to present a more girly appearance, so I'll put on girlier clothes and add my stick-on boobs and maybe some shape wear to make the clothes look good. But although my natural butt is flat bordering on concave, for some reason I just totally can not bring myself to put on butt/hip padding. I've seen others with it. They look great, I honor their choice but for me it's wrong. Even though I have no problem wearing the boobs.

So I agree with your observation, but I can't explain my choice. It's just the choice I make. The corollary to it is this: I don't really dress for other people; I dress for me. So I'm out there buttless and happy and feeling like I'm perfection in heels. You might not agree. You might be saying to yourself, "If only he put on some hip pads, I'd stop using a male pronoun for him in my head." But what you're feeling and thinking has no impact on what I'm feeling and thinking so as long as there is polite forbearance we can both be happy in our choices. ;)

[flatlander_48]

doc:

Acceptance is a 2-way street. How can I logically expect anyone to be accepting of me if I am not willing to accept them? If I were to see you in person, it would probably take some getting used to it. However, intellectually I would have to think that it does something for you and is not damaging in anyway to you or to others, so I really have no basis to object. Personally, I'd prefer that you feel good about what you do rather than not. When people don't feel good about what they do, it gives rise to all sorts of abhorrent behavior.

Hip/butt pads? Funny, I probably strictly don't need to, but I do. I own 2 pairs of Underworks. With appropriately sized forms to fill out a 38DD bra and no other padding, I measure 43-34-43. However, I like what the Underworks do and my measurements become 43-34-46. That seems to accentuate the hourglass effect. Anyway, it works for me!!

However, I do understand not wanting to wear the padding. In a similar vein, I have not been motivated to work on my voice at all. I suppose I will at some point, but the idea of dressing seems to be a whole lot more interesting and fun compared to doing vocal exercises and practicing...

DeeAnn

[Dana44]

I think some do wear pads. But some of us are already pretty natural. I'm now 35 32 38 and a b sized bra. Stand at 5'11 150 lbs. I'm tall but everything looks pretty natural and I get good complements from both men and women. So, I don't thin I need pads and they would probably feel funny on me anyways.

[Karen RHT]

I gave up asking myself the "why" questions a long time ago, and focused on doing what feels/sounds/seems/right for me. I tend to believe others are entitled to do the same.

The things that puzzle me are based more on "how" someone does this, that, or the other. That's why I read posts about how to create cleavage, how to hide beard stubble, how to....whatever it is that puzzles me.

I do want to achieve a certain "look" when I dress, but similar to Jennie above, I dress for me and accept that if I wear a dress or skirt to the mall I very well may stand out a bit more than if I wore some form of slacks, leggings, or jeans. I'm not into that look, but I'm not bothered in the slightest that others are.

Sherry...you are very open about what you do, and totally entitled to do it. In the relatively short time I've been here, I've always believed you do what you do very well. Doesn't freak me out in the slightest.

Perhaps I lack a certain level of curiosity, or perhaps some believe I have a bad attitude, or simply don't give a rat's @ss. Quite the contrary...I very strongly believe we should all be allowed to do what we do without justifying to each other why we do it that particular way.


Karen

[S. Lisa Smith]

I was talking to another girl from this site about this question today. I decided that I do what I do, feel the way that I do and if you feel or look differently, that is your right. There are things that I can't wrap my head around so I just don't try. You are my friends, I may not get what you do or feel, but you are still my friends.

[Robin414]

I think I get the point Sherry, I don't have any questions honestly but i do have a thought...I think we all REALLY want to present as who we feel we ARE 'on the inside', I mean phsycologicaly, not like litteraly, all blood 'n guts 'n gross anatomy class 'n stuff 😂

[Tracy Hazel Lee]

This is very much like a question I have already answered... So here is my copied-and-pasted reply :

- I can always extract fun from my dressing, but my goal is to be happy with my presentation. A big part of that, is making sure that I do everything I can to hide as many male cues as possible, and at the same time, create a feminine shape. My hips and butt need a LOT of help in that area, so my padded garments are an absolute must. I get great satisfaction in putting on a dress, straight off the rack, and having it fit and shape to me in all the right places. Without padding, this would not be possible. To myself, these garments are no different than, and fill the exact same role, as breastforms. They all provide me with shape in areas where I don't naturally have it.

I also want to add, another very big reason why I wear padded hips and butt is because without them, I am easily readable from a *MUCH* greater distance.

[Gretchen_To_Be]

Hi Doc

I couldn't do what you do because my thermostat always runs high...and by the time I am in my pantyhose, corset, padded hips, wig, and makeup I am sweating like a pig unless I have the AC on full or am standing in front of a fan. I couldn't wear the rubber face mask or chest plate...but I respect your choice for fulfilling the female illusion you choose to create.

Like you, I wonder about CDs who don't use shapewear and padding to create a female form. Why not improve the illusion?

Gretchen

[Alice Torn]

Doc, I have always bee odd, And i use waterballons for boobs, and l, use hip and butt pad panties. I can look like a football tight end, in a dress, if i don't make a few adjustments! I love to look like an OLDER attractive very tall lady, like some i have seen or met. We are all odd or crazy in some way. I am an oddball never married loner, and dress, too!

[Barbara Jo]

The short answer is (and this is not to disrespect you in any way) some of us simply have more feminine bodies etc, than others.
Also, some like the the least padding etc as possible as we find it uncomfortable.
Personally, i even hate wearing a wig.


BTW, I have seen you on TV and IMO you can pass as an older female without all the full body padding and mask etc
However, you choose to present as a much younger one .
That is your choice and right to do so.
Others present as they wish. :)

[Cheryl T]

First of all to answer your question...I do wear hip/butt pads to "finish" my figure. Forms enhance the upper body but to complete the look requires filling out the bottom too.

As for your mode of dressing...good for you. It's what you enjoy and that's great.
I do have one question though. Aren't the masks and suits warm when you wear them? I recall you went to Vegas and I was there a few times and it was darn awful hot. Wasn't it even more so wearing everything that you do??

I'm really curious how I'd feel in one of your "suits" especially being able to wear a bikini and such, but I'm not a big fan of the masks.

[Abbey11]

Great question Doc, for my part I have never used any padding other than a bra, funnily enough however only in the last week I got my first hip pads/waist cincher, just to see how I might present with them. When I have some pics I'll post.
Hugs
Abbey x

[NicoleScott]

Doc, I agree that padding adds curves, but I don't want more volume.
I have taken lots of pics, probably thousands (thanks to digital photography), but I have probably seen more of your full body shots than I have taken of me. The vast majority of mine are mug shots. I love makeup and lots of it, so that's the main focus of my photos. I just place far less emphasis on my body. I use shapewear: body briefers and waist cinchers, but it's the corset that works best (yay, a waist, finally).
A mask wouldn't do it for me because, as I mentioned, I love to make up. But I think they are cool (not literally, I imagine they are hot). If the time ever came when I wanted a mask, it would have to be quite to my preferences. Neither masks nor fem-skin freak me out at all. I know that as an over-the-top dresser and maker-upper (?), I freak some people out. Their problem. What freaks me out? Cardigans, below the knee dresses and skirts, no makeup, flat shoes....

[Jilmac]

I have always had a round butt, not the bubble female butt, but round enough to look good in tight jeans. One dead giveaway to being made as male is a tattoo from my hitch in the navy. I's small but in no way feminine. My thought on that is whether I should have it removed or just leave it and live with it. O the rare occasion that I take a photo of myself, I try to conceal the arm with the tat. I'm just wondering how many other girls have feminine shapes but sport masculine tats?

[Jennifer0874]

I prefer to be as natural as possible. Part of what I like about dressing is that it is an expression of me, not so much me trying to make others believe I am actually female.

I do where a bra and forms but that's it. I tried padded panties before, but it just took away from the experience.

[flatlander_48]

One dead giveaway to being made as male is a tattoo from my hitch in the navy.

http://www.dermablend.com/before-after?activefdid=how-to-cover-tattoos

DeeAnn

[summerbunny]

There is this cross dresser in Hollywood that looks like a pretty girl from head to toe except for only one thing.

A full Beard.
Go figure! That one out.
I wanna see him shave and complete the look.
He looks better as a girl.

[Princess Chantal]

I found that hip and butt pads muffed my backup beeping signal and people thought I was rudely bumping into them with my wide load

[Shorebird]

I think as we are all individual people we each have to do what's right for you whether that is simply wearing feminine underwear under guy clothes or going the all the way and fully dressing.

Personally at this time I don't feel the need to try and appear feminine, I just love the feel and sensation of wearing nice underwear and a skirt or dress, and so do not use make up, wigs or forms.

I look at pictures of those of you who do dress fully to appear feminine and am in awe of the time and effort you put in to create your looks and can say the results, in the main, are fantastic.

[Raychel]

I don't really think that way, Everyone has their own style.
If they look in the mirror and like the person looking back at them, Then who am I to judge.

Sure there are styles and looks that I would not try, but that is just me.
If people can accept me for who I am, then who am I to judge who they are.

[pamela7]

Hi Doc,
I have a live and let live attitude, so whatever floats your boat works. I don't get the mask on one level, but i totally get it on another; its no different to make-up really, or the use of a wig which is a huge indicator of the projected identity.

I think the only thing i personally see as incongruous, without judgement, is a skinny presentation with giant boobs and no hips; it feels too false to me, but I accept it's what the person is happy as.

I rarely use stuffing up the bra, rarely use a bra actually, and don't use hip pads as yet. Partly its financial, but mostly that's an excuse because really I want to transform my body and present as authentically me as I can, so it's hormones for breasts hopefully, and maybe some weight redistribution, but the rest is using clothing to create the shape illusion, so i design flare into the bottom of tops, choose short-ish skirts to flare out. In the end my physique won't be too different to female strength athletes who often have larger shoulders and small hips.

When you consider the therianthrope range of expression, CD is just part of a much larger spectrum, and how does one trans-species like transgender?!

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Aside from facial make up, if I can't get there by naturally modifying what I've naturally got, it doesn't grab me - padding is too hot, too constrictive, too cumbersome; it's fake and its uncomfortable. Fine for many, but not for me.

So I strive for a smaller waist and to lose body fat generally - with some success. I wouldn't want a Marilyn Monroe figure, more like Claudia Schiffer.

FWIW Sherry is one of my favourite people here, mostly because I admire anybody willing to go to ultimate lengths to achieve their desire. How she deals with the heat, especially living in SoCal, I cannot begin to imagine. She must lose pounds every time!

[CarlaWestin]

Occasionally I'll go for the total balanced passing look but, more often than not, it's whatever accoutrements that are the fantasy of the situation that are amplified. I'll admit, I do have a thing for big breasts and that's a recurring theme. But, it is fantasy. And it's a time that you can break away from reality and be whatever your heart's desire.

[Teresa]

Sherry,
Yes you're right I do scratch my head with Sherry but as you say that's another story !

You do make a good point about body shape, I'm one that chooses to go as natural as possible, only enough in the bra to balance my shape, I'm really happy with that, being a UK size 12 gives me a real buzz when you see many women struggling to get into clothes twice that size.
Don't forget women come in all shapes and sizes there are some very boyish figured women about as well proportioned ones.

If you saw the photo of me in the pic section at my first social outing I was wearing a dress sent to me by my counsellor which fitted perfectly as do most of the other clothes she sent. Why shouldn't I be happy with that, there's no padding to spoil the feel of wearing those clothes .

No offense taken and please don't be offended if I tell you to keep your padding and latex I'm one happy bunny as I am !

[NicoleScott]

OK Doc, here's my question:
You are traveling alone (driving) and have with you everything you need for your transformation. A snowstorm hits (you're from southern California so you may have to Google "snow" - haha), you reach a motel and are snowed in for the night. Nowhere to go, nobody will see you. The newly renovated motel room is finished, except for one thing, but it was an emergency so they opened the room for you for the night. The only thing not finished was installing mirrors, and you didn't pack one. Do you dress?

[Lily Catherine]

With regards to Sherry's question about padding - I decided not to pad my hips as I don't find it comfortable at all, and my panties didn't feel right. When I wear skirts or dresses I may opt for a stiff slip or petticoat to do the shaping for me, or at least give me the illusion of a waist. The fuller skirt also offsets the width of my shoulders by a small but noticeable bit. Sadly, shorts and jeans don't offer me that convenience. I'm okay with my somewhat rectangular shape - the dresses I dream of would still look nice. I wouldn't like to be bottom heavy even though I love voluminous skirts.

With regards to the titular questiob on how I react to other CDers who are different - the least I can do is to accept them as they are. No two of us here are identical anyway so differences are very much inevitable, even though we all have a common denominator.

[Lorileah]

The newly renovated motel room is finished, except for one thing, but it was an emergency so they opened the room for you for the night. The only thing not finished was installing mirrors, and you didn't pack one. Do you dress?

So Doc has a cell phone and a camera? Or were those lost in the snow?

[NicoleScott]

Didn't think of cell phone and camera. But a five inch screen is not a full length mirror. I was trying to set up a "nobody can see you, not even yourself" situation.

[Rachael Leigh]

For me I don't wear pads and such because I spend my girly money on wigs makeup and my wardrobe.
From my observation women come in all shapes and sizes not many have that perfect girly figure.
Not only that while I want to pass as much as I can without standing out I know no matter how much I try and pad myself I'm still going to be read most likely

[docrobbysherry]

Thank u all for your comments. So interesting! I must admit to being surprised and confounded by some replies. But, all in all, I get why u like your figures the way they r: too lazy, too uncomfortable, not really who u r, can't enjoy the feel of your clothes, like looking like a man in a dress, don't give a crap, etc.:tongueout


Sherry, what strikes me about your choice is that it looks like so much work. Maybe I'm just a lazy cross dresser----------------------------------------------- I also prefer a narrower/athletic look so hip pads would be counter to what I like in women and hence what I like in my profile. I actually find the hourglass shape you present as too much and unflattering. I'm guessing you like women with wide hips so you emulate that. So, as always, beauty is I. Ten eye of the beholder.
Actually, Jenn, my prosthesis often force me to adopt fuller figures than I prefer. My full suit comes with size D breasts. I can stretch them larger but not smaller! And, the hips and thighs r very wide. If I don't fill them they wrinkle and flap when I move!

My breast plate has DD breasts. I try to balance them with my bottom so I don't look top heavy.:eek:

But, that being said? Here's a photo taken in my Superbowl party outfit proving I don't always present full figured!:)
257744


I think I get the point Sherry, I don't have any questions honestly but i do have a thought...I think we all REALLY want to present as who we feel we ARE 'on the inside', I mean phsycologicaly, not like litteraly, all blood 'n guts 'n gross anatomy class 'n stuff ��
I understand your post to a point, Robin. Because I've read the same thing in so many posts here. Unfortunately, I don't seem to have a "female inside". Sherry's just an illusion created from my thots and memories.:battingeyelashes:


First of all to answer your question...I do wear hip/butt pads to "finish" my figure. Forms enhance the upper body but to complete the look requires filling out the bottom too.

As for your mode of dressing...good for you. It's what you enjoy and that's great.
I do have one question though. Aren't the masks and suits warm when you wear them? I recall you went to Vegas and I was there a few times and it was darn awful hot. Wasn't it even more so wearing everything that you do??

I'm really curious how I'd feel in one of your "suits" especially being able to wear a bikini and such, but I'm not a big fan of the masks.
This is the question am constantly asked, Cheryl. Altho some of the things I wear r warm and do cause me to perspire, it doesn't seem to bother me much. Probably because my arms, head, hands, and feet breathe. And, perpiration is only an issue when u can feel it! I'm fortunate to not sweat much. And, since I wear shaping gear under my prosthesis as well as my clothing? I don't notice I've been perspiring until I take everything off!:o
By the way, my masks r mostly plastic face masks and r not warm because they don't cling to me!


I prefer to be as natural as possible. Part of what I like about dressing is that it is an expression of me, not so much me trying to make others believe I am actually female.

I do where a bra and forms but that's it. I tried padded panties before, but it just took away from the experience.
Your's is the kind of post that has me doing double takes, Jenn! Do u mean u like to look "natural" as in "a man in a dress"? Because I have a hard time getting my head around why a dresser would strive for or enjoy that look?! But, u far from being alone!:thumbsup:


There is this cross dresser in Hollywood that looks like a pretty girl from head to toe except for only one thing.

A full Beard.
Go figure! That one out.
I wanna see him shave and complete the look.
He looks better as a girl.
In nearly every photo u see of Sherry, SB? I'm wearing a beard and stashe underneath!:heehee:


I think as we are all individual people we each have to do what's right for you whether that is simply wearing feminine underwear under guy clothes or going the all the way and fully dressing.

Personally at this time I don't feel the need to try and appear feminine, I just love the feel and sensation of wearing nice underwear and a skirt or dress, and so do not use make up, wigs or forms.

I look at pictures of those of you who do dress fully to appear feminine and am in awe of the time and effort you put in to create your looks and can say the results, in the main, are fantastic.
Thanks, Shore. And, I agree with u on individual presentations. I have hung out with a few dressers that even out in public had no desire to present as feminine beyond just wearing a dress. I respect everyone's choice to present as they like and it doesn't bother me. Glass houses---etc.! U all seem to be quite interesting and nice folks. Just not MY thing .:straightface:




Occasionally I'll go for the total balanced passing look but, more often than not, it's whatever accoutrements that are the fantasy of the situation that are amplified. I'll admit, I do have a thing for big breasts and that's a recurring theme. But, it is fantasy. And it's a time that you can break away from reality and be whatever your heart's desire.
Sherry is pretty much a complete fantasy, Carla. So, u may understand her/me. Also, your large breast fixation seems to be quite common among dressers. Why else would I own a set of size 13's and a set even larger than those!?:D


Sherry,
Yes you're right I do scratch my head with Sherry but as you say that's another story !

You do make a good point about body shape, I'm one that chooses to go as natural as possible, only enough in the bra to balance my shape, I'm really happy with that, being a UK size 12 gives me a real buzz when you see many women struggling to get into clothes twice that size.
Don't forget women come in all shapes and sizes there are some very boyish figured women about as well proportioned ones.

If you saw the photo of me in the pic section at my first social outing I was wearing a dress sent to me by my counsellor which fitted perfectly as do most of the other clothes she sent. Why shouldn't I be happy with that, there's no padding to spoil the feel of wearing those clothes .

No offense taken and please don't be offended if I tell you to keep your padding and latex I'm one happy bunny as I am !
Yes, Teresa, I get that women come in all sizes and shapes. And, at one time or another I've tried to copy ALL of their looks! Including females with no figures or over weight women.:D
But, in the end I prefer to resemble the ones I find attractive.:daydreaming:


Didn't think of cell phone and camera. But a five inch screen is not a full length mirror. I was trying to set up a "nobody can see you, not even yourself" situation.
Interesting "what if" post, Nicole. I imagine if I couldn't see myself and/or take photos, my motivation to dress would be minimal.:sad:

[sometimes_miss]

I really don't have any questions; I understand why we all would like to look as good as we can. I find it interesting that some people feel the need to do everything possible to look to the rest of the world as female, and others like myself, wear female clothing just in order to feel as if we're just a normal female, and are happy with seeing and feeling that from the viewpoint from our own eyes, alone. Perhaps because I know in my heart that there's absolutely no way I could EVER pass, maybe that's why I don't do everything I can to attempt it, because I know it's impossible. I do what I know I can achieve, and not attempt what I know I cannot. Clint Eastwood? "A man's got to know his limitations". I know mine. There's no possibility of ever looking ANYTHING like the pretty young woman that I expected to become.

[CONSUELO]

Ahhh Cross dressing, in all of its infinite variety. Then we have humankind with an infinite ability to judge and exclude.

[Jennifer0874]

Doc,

I don't believe I look like a man in a dress. I have always been very thin. I never had broad shoulders or much in the way of muscles. I am fairly tall at almost 6'1 but only weigh between 130-140. So overall my figure is similar to a skinny woman who lacks curves. For me it is more about the clothes than an exaggeration of what the female form should be.

I dress 24/7 and people are going to know I'm not a gg. That doesn't bother me. Most assume I am transitioning which I am not.

[Tina_gm]

I am going to throw something in that differs highly from a lot of people here.... Now, perhaps because I am not a public dresser, no real need to add in any shapewear to enhance an image. Even if I was a public dresser, and the thoughts have crossed my mind at times whether to at some point, and where, what and how, I don't know for sure I would go real far with the shapewear. One thing I have read quite often is from dressers who will wear the forms and bra to bed. This I do not get. It is not that I would not want breasts, but I would only want my own. To have anything fake just seems.... fake. Wearing a bra just because seems pointless to me. forms may not even really need them anyway.... I know this all sounds odd to many perhaps, and the idea of dressing period as a guy doesn't REALLY make sense when you get right down to it. I am not in any way knocking anyone for doing what feels right for them. I am only just expressing what I feel, or perhaps don't feel. If it isn't really mine, I do not seem all that interested.

There are many many women today which have so little breast tissue, or curvy hips. Having large breasts and very curvy hips actually stands out far more than no curve or very little if any breast. Perhaps too, one reason why I have not pushed further with public dressing is because I would only want to blend to the point of total passing, which without surgery and hormones, is not happening. Again, I want to state, I have nothing against those who go out in public. I do not feel it is wrong for them, or that they look bad, this is about how I feel. If I were to go out, and one day this may change and perhaps my perceptions may as well, but right now, being a classy well dressed well presenting transgender does not hold much interest for me. If I could pull it off so that no one other than those who know me would know, I would probably head straight for the big door, instead of the closet door.

[Lena]

Sometimes, I wonder why others wear bras and pads. Bras alone without padding make no sense to me. And to me adding pads is something I never do. I feel like padding is pretending to be someone I'm not.

But I'll accept anything anyone is wearing. I can't say much because I think what I do is strange enough.

[Tracy Hazel Lee]

I find it extremely ironic (and highly hypocritical) that the common term being thrown around in this thread is 'FAKE'... Really? LMFAO... EVERYTHING I do to achieve my appearance is FAKE. Do you look and act like something you're not? You're fake. Don't like your eye color, so you wear colored contacts? FAKE. You have a gut, but want to fit into a dress, so you wear a cincher? FAKE. Don't have long enough hair to style, or don't like the color, so you wear wigs? FAKE. Weren't born with real breasts, but you want some? Forms, or implants? You pick... BOTH FAKE. Where does one draw the line? And if you are willing to wear breastforms (or anything to fill a bra with), then how is it so damn different from any other garment meant to femininize? BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL FAKE!

Now, I'm talking purely from the standpoint of ones appearance, not ones mindset or feelings of being trapped in the wrong body... So please, educate me... For those people who want to look feminine, but are not interested in body modification, hormones, or transitioning.... How are they not ALL fake? Because it seems to me, that most of the ones that look better than average are usually sporting one or more (or all) things fake.

JUST SAYIN'

[ReineD]

Sherry I have to say that it's understandable why we all love you here. You are one of the least judgmental, kindest people ever! :) I think it's wonderful that you started this thread in an attempt to get the various factions of crossdressers to understand each other. Good for you!


I find it extremely ironic (and highly hypocritical) that the common term being thrown around in this thread is 'FAKE'... Really? LMFAO... EVERYTHING I do to achieve my appearance is FAKE. '

Thank you for mentioning this. I want to add that anything I, as a GG do to alter my appearance is fake as well, from eyeliner, eyeshadow, mascara, lipstick, foundation, blush, etc. Using these things alters my natural appearance to give me a more youthful look. Fake. Women who wear girdles to flatten a tummy? Fake. Women who dye or perm their hair? Fake. lol. Hair extensions, push up bras, rinsing hair to hide the gray? Fake. Fake. Fake. Heels? Fake.

Nothing wrong with being fake, I do it all the time too, but it's nice to recognize it for what it is.

[mykell]

lorileah i dont think its just a phenomenon in your part of the world, kinda noticed that here in jersey no matter what exit (jersey thing) we come in all shapes, sizes, and sexes....so i will agree with you.... when the us soccer team won the championship recently they were paraded about the tv land and found that my legs are exactly shaped like one player who lived here, big ole side dimples , wish the rest of my body matched....but some women look look like linebackers, some men look petite and wishy washy, just as i would never assume a women is pregnant i never assume a women was a man no matter how much they may look like one....

so i recently acquired forms ( they help my confidence) and picked up a corset (just until i stop cheating on my diet) and buttpads because my wife always reminds me i have no butt.


after much observation and consideration I have formed a conclusion at least for my part of the world...there isn't one standard A girly, womanly, female, feminine dame! I have to live my life like this and yes I did start with all the squeezing and plumping and crushing and restricting undergarments. Then, one day, I looked around and realized, no one was looking that closely at me. Then I looked closely at them, there were women with large breasts, small breasts and no breasts at all. There were women with waists, there were women with convex waists, there were women with no waists. Then I looked at butts, big, moderate, tight soft, and NONE! I started thinking, what women did I admire how they looked...Hmm, Lauren Bacall in "To have and have not" very boyish in what she wore yet feminine as all get out. Amy Van Dyken Olympic swimming champion, Square shoulders...no hips and no rear. Still sexy. Venus and Serena Williams, athletic and yet they didn't have all than much a dent for a waist and fairly large hands.

So point is. hips, no hips, boobs, no boobs, shoulders, big hands. I don't dress to blend, I get noticed but after 55 years of not being noticed I like when people do a double take. I am sure some know, maybe they all knew (but I doubt it because I have had to "inform" some men who hit on me at various times...and then there was the guy who tripped himself watching me walk away).

I haven't met Sherry, maybe someday I will and I may very well be taken aback for a moment, and I will apologize in advance if I do, but I think you would be a kick to party with. I have many many TG friends who don't fit the "mold" the walk the actions even some who over compensate on what they think women do...They are still some of the greatest people in the world.


Oh and quickly, I have no hips...I don't care :)

my thots and questions about dressers that r a bit different from u? Like me?

hi doc, you did have me guessing when i first got here, like i stated in a previous post i thought you may have been famous, so being honest i think it would freak me out until i sat and talked awhile i guess, but like i said in that previous post you are quite attractive without it. from what you have shared here with us you are and honest and fun person....

i never have a problem with someone dressing younger than theyre age, i do it at home but have not as ive stepped out into the wild....attended a support event in drab this time but someone showed up in an evening gown, man in a dresss all the way, sat by me most of the night, at first i was uncomfortable but as time passed and conversation ensued it did not phase me as much, not how i would do it though, when i go to these and i dress it is way more casual.

its hard to not pre judge folks by how they look, knew a millionaire who drove around in a fairly simple pickup and wore ripped jeans and ratty shirts even though they had the means for more lavish things....i guess it sucks that we pre judge people but whats most important is how you act after you really meet them and get to know them....

[NicoleScott]

THL, that's telling it like it is. To add to what you said, some use all the fake transformation aids (shapewear including pads, makeup, wigs, etc.) and then say "I just want to be my real self".
Yes, I use all that stuff, because for a short time anyway, I don't want to be my real self.

[Princess Chantal]

Kind of reminds me of my favourite clip
what part of your body could I not get at the mall? (http://youtu.be/vlqhzdPZg7Y)

[docrobbysherry]

----------------------------------------------------------------- Perhaps because I know in my heart that there's absolutely no way I could EVER pass, maybe that's why I don't do everything I can to attempt it, because I know it's impossible. I do what I know I can achieve, and not attempt what I know I cannot. Clint Eastwood? "A man's got to know his limitations". I know mine. There's no possibility of ever looking ANYTHING like the pretty young woman that I expected to become.
This thread is NOT about passing, Miss. It's about how u wish to see yourself in your mirror. When we go out many of us dress quite different. Dressing to blend, etc. :thumbsdn:

I wish to see a young woman in my mirror. And, after years of learning a variety of techniques, I do!:daydreaming:


------------------------------------------------------------------------
There are many many women today which have so little breast tissue, or curvy hips. Having large breasts and very curvy hips actually stands out far more than no curve or very little if any breast. Perhaps too, one reason why I have not pushed further with public dressing is because I would only want to blend to the point of total passing, which without surgery and hormones, is not happening. Again, I want to state, I have nothing against those who go out in public. I do not feel it is wrong for them, or that they look bad, this is about how I feel. If I were to go out, and one day this may change and perhaps my perceptions may as well, but right now, being a classy well dressed well presenting transgender does not hold much interest for me. If I could pull it off so that no one other than those who know me would know, I would probably head straight for the big door, instead of the closet door
Yes, there r many women who resemble men, Mutt. But, I've looked like a man for 70+ years. And, since I dress for me, I get no thrill out of looking like a manish woman. :sad:

Dressers have stated here that they like to look "natural". For their stated reasons they seem content with a man in a dress appearance. I'm fine with that for THEM!:heehee:
Even if they're fine with going out in that presentation. Like u, I despise presenting that way in public. But, my only choices r to go out as a man in a dress or stay home!:doh:


THL, that's telling it like it is. To add to what you said, some use all the fake transformation aids (shapewear including pads, makeup, wigs, etc.) and then say "I just want to be my real self".
Yes, I use all that stuff, because for a short time anyway, I don't want to be my real self.
I'm with u, Nicole. I'm a skinny old man. Why would I want to see THAT in my mirror when Sherry can appear to be practically any attractive, young woman I can dream up?:D


----------------------------------------------------------
hi doc, you did have me guessing when i first got here, like i stated in a previous post i thought you may have been famous----------------------------------------------------------

i never have a problem with someone dressing younger than theyre age, i do it at home but have not as ive stepped out into the wild....attended a support event in drab this time but someone showed up in an evening gown, man in a dresss all the way, sat by me most of the night, at first i was uncomfortable but as time passed and conversation ensued it did not phase me as much, not how i would do it though, when i go to these and i dress it is way more casual.

its hard to not pre judge folks by how they look, knew a millionaire who drove around in a fairly simple pickup and wore ripped jeans and ratty shirts even though they had the means for more lavish things....i guess it sucks that we pre judge people but whats most important is how you act after you really meet them and get to know them....
More like infamous, Mikell.:brolleyes:

Reine mentions our "judgementalism", too. We ALL r judgemental whether we like it or not. Including me.:sad:
But, I've learned a lot in my 70+ years. Including that those I wish to avoid can be the most interesting and remarkable folks in the room. If I can just get past whatever it is about them that puts me off. :)

[JocelynJames]

I've always looked at it as a person's own choice. Crossdressing can be very selfish in that we like to think we're dressing for other's purpose( to see and admire) but mostly it's for our own (imho) I sometimes wear hip pads and a corset to give me the shape I like to see in women. I prefer skirts and dresses because I'm a big admirers of legs. My makeup skills suck because that's not what I gravitate towards , it's mostly neck down. I rarely comment on pics here unless it falls in these criterion(right word?) I've heard GGs say they dress for men but more for other GGs . I dress for me (and sometimes you when I share pics) . If your dressing is doing for you what you hoped it would , far be it for me to judge what and / or why . I hope you enjoy it as I do

[Jaymees22]

I think we all do what makes us feel good and makes us happy. We are like snow flakes all different and beautiful, or maybe I'm just a flake?? Hugs Jaymee

[Peggie Lee]

My goal is that when I look in the mirror before I go out is to see the image smile back then I'm happy.

[Tina_gm]

Yes, there r many women who resemble men, Mutt. But, I've looked like a man for 70+ years. And, since I dress for me, I get no thrill out of looking like a manish woman.

Dressers have stated here that they like to look "natural". For their stated reasons they seem content with a man in a dress appearance. I'm fine with that for THEM!
Even if they're fine with going out in that presentation. Like u, I despise presenting that way in public. But, my only choices r to go out as a man in a dress or stay home!

I don't think that the women who are without curves or very small to no breasts necessarily look like men. I dated just such a girl, and she was extremely feminine looking in appearance. Very tiny, very long hair down to almost her butt, she just did not have the curvature most women do. Nothing masculine about her though.

I do want to reiterate that I have nothing but the kindest of words for CDers going out in public. Just because at some point for almost all, their actual gender is recognizable is not anything to be felt wronged or bad or anything negative. Again, it is just me. Who knows, one day I may change my mind about all that. I have thought about it before. For now, for a general going out thing, I just prefer not to, and it is just me, it has no bearing whatsoever on any other CDers. Many of you look wonderful as do you doc. And the mask you wear is not at all needed IMO.

[Helen_Highwater]

As u read the many varied posts here, what r some of your recurring thots? Questions u would like to ask? Things that dressers do and say here that make u wonder? Maybe we can answer a few questions without offending anyone!?:battingeyelashes:

If I can I'd like to move away from pads/forms etc and ask a question relating to what if anything separates what can be referred to as fetish dressers from crossdressers? How do those who dress exclusively in French maids attire or what's commonly referred to as sissy or like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz consider themselves as CD's? Let me be clear, I'm not pointing fingers. Sherry's starting point was let's ask the question we'd like answers to and I'm a big believer of if you don't know ask. I'd like to know what draws you to that style of dressing. I may be asking a question that like, why do we CD, often has no discernible answer.

Specific styles of dressing hold no fascination for me. I'm interested in what it hold for those who do? As an addendum I have met someone who goes out in public in the full maids attire. We talked about how she was going to stop off at the chip shop on the way home just to see the look on the staffs faces. I wish I'd been there to see it!

[ReineD]

If I can I'd like to move away from pads/forms etc and ask a question relating to what if anything separates what can be referred to as fetish dressers from crossdressers? How do those who dress exclusively in French maids attire or what's commonly referred to as sissy or like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz consider themselves as CD's?

People will answer for themselves, but it's been my observation over the years that many members here do both ... dress in regular clothes especially when going out, but also occasionally indulge in fantasy wear. Maybe not necessarily fetish-type/halloween like maid, nurse, or lolita costumes, but looks that have school-girl elements, or sexy lingerie, or less sexually oriented but more specialized looks like wedding dresses or ball gowns. There are all types of fantasies and not all are stereotypical.

[Trishpdxcd2]

Well as everyone says, "each to his/her own." I would have freaked myself out 15 years ago to see me now so who am I to judge how another person likes to present themselves. Yes, I do have my biases like everyone else. I used to think masks were strange but having more exposure in this group makes me feel different. While not for me, if that what makes you feel good then by all means. I must admit I do still have an issue with cd's and facial hair, not that I would discourage anyone from presenting how they like, it just doesn't work for me.

[docrobbysherry]

I think that's an excellent question, Helen. However, I'm afraid few cd.comers will read it posted here at the end of an old thread.

But, since I'm referred to on this site as a "fetish dresser" I'll reply. First, "fetish dresser" means your dressing turns u on. The thot of becoming another person entirely, an attractive female of some sort, I find very stimulating. And, dressing in bizarre or themed fem outfits and costumes is exciting in itself. However, for me that's all done in private. And, when I'm out, no matter how I'm dressed, sex never enters my mind!

I've read posts from dressers who, after putting on a maids outfit, get excited about cleaning the house. And, there r those that wear diapers, baby outfits, tutus, pregnant bellies, etc. I've been to fetish conventions where the participants dress all in rubber. With often frightening masks and exaggerated breasts, etc. They r inveriably men dressed as females. All these r males that get aroused by just those particular female outfits. No particular outfit does that for me.

Not all of the male folks that dress in fetish gear identify as trans or even as CD's. It's simply a turn on for them. However, it's interesting that they r all males presenting in some sort of fem look. Also, many that I've met r bi. No idea if that is a common trait, tho.

I don't think many of these fetish dressers go out dressed that way. Except to Halloween or other special fetish events.

[NicoleScott]

Doc, both Reine and you gave excellent answers to Helen's fetish dressing question. And from different POV's: Reine's from forum observations and yours from personal experience. My experience as a fetish-driven dresser agrees - that for many of us, dressing has a sexual aspect but it's not all-or-nothing. I'm certain that there are some who dress up, get off, and undress as fast as possible, but I suspect that they don't hang out here in large numbers. Like you, Doc, dressing up and going out is never about sex - it's about fun.
I dress in "regular" women's clothes, even if taken over-the-top as my preferred style drives me. I also have "specialty" outfits for extra excitement but always worn in private. I used to vacation the same week in mid-October to a tg-friendly club/bar in Florida. As I read and heard of their upcoming Halloween events, I wished so much that my week was at that time so I could wear something "special". I had no fears about controlling my excitement in public. Just more fun.

[AllieBellema]

I really don't worry much about padding. Most I do is I have inserts I wear. I do typically wear a corset because I have a pretty good sized gut that sticks out in most of the outfits I wear. The corset allows me to have a thinner look to myself and gives me the style of body I'm looking for when I'm dressed up. Other than that, not much for modifications as I'm a pretty big southern belle in my own right!

[Helen_Highwater]

People will answer for themselves, but it's been my observation over the years that many members here do both ... dress in regular clothes especially when going out, but also occasionally indulge in fantasy wear. Maybe not necessarily fetish-type/halloween like maid, nurse, or lolita costumes, but looks that have school-girl elements, or sexy lingerie, or less sexually oriented but more specialized looks like wedding dresses or ball gowns. There are all types of fantasies and not all are stereotypical.

Reine,

Your points about wedding dresses and ball gowns is a good example of what interests me in to gaining a better understanding of just what it is that draws someone into dressing as they choose to. I keep thinking there's something specific about the female form in such attire that is the big attractor but what stops that spilling over into a more generalised form of dressing. Absolutely each to their own and yep I have a Ra-Ra skirt that I wear indoors, on warm days, when alone that is way too young for my ageing frame. Hey the mind plays strange tricks.

In the bigger sense, is it not a good thing if we here can better understand each other by being open and frank about what makes us tick, were we understand it ourselves, because if we can't then how is joe public supposed to? Or are we confined to answering,"Well if it floats their boat, who are we to criticise?"