Purging

[adrienner99]

Curious how many of us have purged entire wardrobes at some point in the past, only to start rebuilding your wardrobe again later....I have purged completely two or three times (losing God knows how much money in heels, dresses, lingerie, etc.) but never will again...

[Shorebird]

I had a purge about 5 years ago after nearly getting caught out by the wife, everything went only for the regret to kick in a few days later.

Thought I would need to purge again recently when I told my wife and it didn't go well but the thought of all the time, effort and heartache that went into building my small wardrobe prevented me from going through with it. Everything (well almost everything) is now safely stored away out of harms way until the dust settles and I know where I'm going to be at in the relationship with my wife.

[pamela7]

purging only leads to one thing - bigger spending next time - if you want the rabbit hole to go deeper, then purge away.

[Cheryl T]

Been there a few times, but won't go there again.
The guilt and shame always drove me there until I finally accepted who I am and now I know there are no more purges in my future.

[JeanTG]

Been there, done that. When I feel the need to purge, I first take inventory, throw out worn items or items that don't fit or that I don't particularly care for. Then I carefully fold and pack everything away in a suitcase which I put in a hard-to-get at place. Which is what I've done recently. When the urge returns, at it inevitably does, I don't have to buy a whole new wardrobe, just a couple of new items to get me back in mood. My wife knows about my proclivities. Panties are OK (but I've put that away too for the time being), the rest DADT.

[Alice_2014_B]

I've only purged high heels, but that was all I was into at the time. Sadly, I have never found the same heels again.
I have not purged at all since I've been fully cross-dressing.
:)

[Wandacdmn]

I thought my wife was cool with my dressing but when she snooped and found some pictures she freaked. So now I'm deliberating whether I should purge and forget. So far I haven't. And I now "hide" all my dressing photos on Flickr. But not sure I can continue my fav hobby.

[Meg East]

Purged once. Cost a bunch to replace the wardrobe. Last month I was in a dark place and mentioned to my wife I was thinking about tossing everything. Thankfully she talked me down.

[rhonda]

My problem is I want to but can't , I'm here to stay ,

[Natasha V]

I almost purged a few time but my wife will not allow me too. She says she loves everything about me and must move forward to just embracing my femininity and not feel bad in anyway shape or form. She keeps me level headed. I am lucky she calls me her bitch in a sweet way. Jokingly I love it. Lol

[Lilly 40C]

I purged last week and already I miss wearing my bras, panties and hose. :sad:

[Stephanie47]

It seems most of the ladies who purge are doing it for two reasons. First, it's self loathing and disgust with oneself. Secondly, marital discord with a wife. I was fortunate that my period of self loathing and disgust occurred during my teen years when I was dabbling in my mother's lingerie draws. I did my best to stay out of her bedroom. I thought I had kicked the habit while I was in military service and truly had no inclination to wear women's clothing. Frankly, I was asexual for most of the time. I had better things to do than think about women's clothing. When I got married I thought those teen years were way behind me. I had arrived at the conclusion I was not gay. My old love for nylon crept back into my life. However, my wife was not turned off my love for nylon nightgowns and we actually shopped together for her and for me. There was bedroom play with nylon gowns and hosiery. Her interest waned when my interest expanded into slips and panties and then that sexy red Vanity Fair bra. She could not understand why a guy, her man, who had nothing to stuff into a bra would want to wear one. We drifted into DADT. She is aware I still indulge, although she has no idea of the extent of my purchases. I think conservatively I must have over $10,000 invested in women's clothing. I could never purge because I love my purchases. If my wife gave me an ultimatum of "it's me or the clothes" I'd probably say good bye. Why? Because there would be definitely other issues that would have arose to end the marriage. She has come to realize after four decades of marriage that the Stephanie side is only a small part of who I am, and, she is definitely comfortable with the rest of the pie.

I think when a wife forces her husband to toss the clothes, she is just getting rid of the wrapping paper and not getting rid of what's inside the box. Maybe, when the demand is made to purge is the time to really have that sit down talk and ask of getting rid of the wrapping will get rid of the gift in the box. Too many women may be under the delusion that getting rid of the clothing will extinguish the fire. It doesn't.

[NicoleScott]

As a kid (pre-internet, keep in mind) my eyes were drawn to high heels, on women's feet, in stores, or in magazines. Classic pumps, pre-platform, stiletto heels. Four inches was considered high, and the highest available in mainstream shoe stores was five inches. As a boy, probably 10-12, I was waiting for my turn for a haircut, reading a True Detective [type] magazine when I saw an ad with pic of classic pumps with six inch heels. Instantly hooked. Years later, I bought a pair via mail order. Too small, unaware of sizing differences. Duh. But I kept them, just to look at and hold them.
Years later, I found a source for six inch classic pumps made for and sized for men. In separate orders over a couple years, I bought 3 pairs, in black patent, red leather, and white leather (and I bought black, red, and white skirts and tops to mix and match). The shoes fit absolutely perfect. Yes, they were hard to walk in very much because they were so tall, but I loved wearing them. Everything about them was perfect for me. Lost in my third and final purge over 20 years ago, I still regret parting with them. Everything else (wigs, makeup, clothes) was easily replaced and upgraded. I have other high heels, many, very high, but not like those.
As crossdressers, we do what we do for different reasons, styles, frequencies, durations, etc. There are no universal CDing truths. The one that comes closest, in my opinion, and based on years of reading posts, is that purging doesn't stop the urge to crossdress. So, for those considering a purge, consider a 'smart purge", that is, one that is reversible, but not too easily reversible. Search the threads for some good suggestions.

[Cd_scarlett]

God, I have purged so many times its sickening. I have built amazing wardrobes and then thrown them away in an instant. It has become more of an issue of the years because my desire to dress has increased so much. It seems like there has to be a connection between the desire to dress and the intensity of the urge to throw everything away. After I do throw everything away I've always felt strong. Like this time I will never ever dress again and I am now a non-conflicted man. Well that has not worked out well. I still dress and grow my wardrobe constantly. :)

[Candice June Lee]

I've almost purged a couple times in the last several months. Getting down in that dark place is not fun at all. Thankfully my wife got me out of it. Hundreds of dollars would have been lost and I would not have been happier either. I have no intentions of purging again. Well style changes and unused items may go but that is it.

[Abbey11]

I've purged once and really regretted it having sent everything to the charity shops, I miss some of the high heels and also some skirts that felt particularly nice against my freshly shaved legs. I can't say never again but my intention is not to purge again! x

[fly2188]

I've definitely purged a few times. Usually I have fun CDing for a while, but then get disgusted and try to stop cold-turkey. I always end up buying it back. It seems to me like my purging is usually the result of not accepting myself or worrying about others accepting me. I'm been working at getting better at dealing with this and have decided I won't purge again. Too much wasted $$. We'll see if that works out in the long run, but I'm hoping I can do it.

[Sharon B.]

I have purge more times then I care to admit, now I just store it away until that feeling comes back. I still shop on line but not what I used to do.

[Kellitgdet]

I've purged a few times over the years, thinking it's more trouble than it's worth. Just to go through the reality check of, this is who I am, I'm never going to change, it's not go away
And besides I love this part of myself.
I do what Jean does, go through my wardrobe and thin out the stuff That is out of style and or I don't wear, it seams to get me past the need to purge.
Kelli

[~Joanne~]

I have purged a couple of times, the guilt use to eat away at me and that is what lead to the purges. I really didn't lose much though, yes, I tossed a lot of dresses, a couple of wigs and some heels, loss a bunch of money but other than one pair of heels (that I wish I could have replaced) there was nothing there that wouldn't be out of date by now anyways. Now when I get rid of things, it's not a purge, it's cleaning out the old and making room for the new. My SO usually sells it in a garage sale which funny enough, my girly things were the first things to go lol

[michellechong]

I cannot remember how many times I have purged in the past, only to rebuilding my collection again after a short span of denial. My main reason for purging was due to the fear of being discovered by family members and friends rather than guilt. I don't know how many times I will repeat this cyclic process till I come in term with myself.

[Maria 60]

I only did it once, and it wasn't the money as much as I lost a lot of things I can't replace. I had some great slips and authentic items I can't ever replace.

[karen inside]

I think the subject of purging will always come up. Myself, I live alone although I have had the same wonderful GF for 15 yrs who knows and understands. Purged when I was younger, not understanding that I wasn't alone being a CD and thinking i was a freak. Later in life I accepted and understood that its wonderful for me to "embrace" my desire for feminimity and in doing so I am more accepting of myself and therefore EXTREMELY content in life after removing the stumbling block of denial and guilt. But the biggest and best reason I don't purge anymore is buying nicer, more expensive clothing! The fit and quality is usually better. And again thanks to all of you who participate on this forum.

[wendy]

I've purged 3 or 4 times, and now that I've confessed to my wife about my CDing, I really regret not discussing CDing with her early on. I've tossed many vintage items, like aerobic wear, lingerie (a beautiful black Undercover Wear wide sweep night gown), to name a few. I've tried looking for those purged items and they are either non existent or way too expensive to replace.

[nikkiwindsor]

I've purged several times over the years. Fortunately, with my wife now accepting my feminine side, I no longer have to purge. She gives me space within our walk-in closet for all my dresses, heels, undergarments, wigs and things! I'm so fortunate. Nikki

[lingerieLiz]

Ironically the only time I've purged was the first time I bought a complete set of clothes, blouse, skirt, bra, panties while I was on a trip and didn't have a place to store them. Regretted it immediately. At one time when my wife and I were moving we decided that we would leave it all behind only to have her parents grab the box and help us load it. Oh well. My wife is on me to get rid of out of fashion stuff all the time. She and the daughters are into fashion so I've heard the, "That is not in fashion and is dated.)

I do have to agree some things will draw attention if they are past their prime.

[Samantha981]

I've purged a few times but that was when I was only wearing lingerie and Target makeup. Not that that was cheap :eek: Intent of purging was to stop forever before my wife found out (ever wake up in a cold sweat having a discovery nightmare?) but would always start up again. Thought I was just not disciplined. Now I know many of us have purged over and over.
Have not purged since adding full clothing to the experience. Via baby steps have taken it much farther than anticipated a year and a half ago when bought my first dress - just to see what it was like. Can you say slippery slope :battingeyelashes: . For my situation can't guarantee I won't purge again someday. Time will tell.

[Lucey]

Recently I went through all of my bureau draws and closets and did a thoughtful cleaning of things that you might say, were just a bit on the very old side, 20 -30 years old in some cases.

Matter of fact, some of my older panties elastic's were so bad that they went for one last stretch and with a slight creaking sound and never went back to shape again. May they rest in peace now! LoL :battingeyelashes:

[Lacey New]

I'm very much in the closet so because of several moves and not having a good hiding place or a means to secretly move my stash, I have purged more than just a few times. Some of the stuff was no big deal but I have purged some (now) vintage slips, floral print Vanity Fair briefs, garter belts and nude stockings that are now irreplaceable. Oh well!!!! Sometimes it is tough to be a CD!

[CarlaWestin]

Total purge a couple of times. Really would like to have some of that stuff back.
Interesting note. When you get out of the closet and you can actually hang things in a closet,
that's when you become a hoarder of all things female.
It's starting to get out of hand 'cause I can't let go of nothin'!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Adrienner:hugs:, I have thinned out some clothes and shoes that I didn't want but never purged.

Rule no.1 Never Purge !

Rule no.2 If you feel that you really must purge, See Rule no. 1 again. ~~...:daydreaming:...

[CONSUELO]

Purging is pointless. The underlying desires and needs are not purged when the clothes are taken away but the purse does become lighter. Yet we have all experienced it at some time and have lived to understand that it solves nothing.

[MidwayNH]

I don't know if this counts but I have had my all of my stuff accidentally thrown out once while I was moving. By the time I went looking for it it was too late. It was my older brother who did it. He was the one who had first gotten me stared with a pair of pantyhose. He told me he was sorry he didn't even open it up and thought it was just trash in the bag. There were items in there I have never been able to find again.