What would you do in this situtation?

[guynheels]

I confessed my crossdressing to my girlfriend several years ago and she has been very supportive. For the last few months I have been attempting to rid myself of body hair and my girlfriend bought me an epilator a few weeks ago. Week before last I told her that I wanted to try shopping around town for clothes and shoes instead of the internet since most things I buy don't always fit. If we bought it in town I could take it back as most internet shops don't accept returns. She is all for it except that she tells me if I buy anything she wants me to try it on before we buy. We went to a local lingerie shop last night and she saw a pair of shoes she just loved. (She is really in to high heels and likes it when I wear the trashy dancer type heels.) I was looking at a violet bustier and robe when she called me over to see the shoes. She told me she liked them and wanted to know how I felt. I told her they were cool and she proceeds to ask the sales girl if they had them in size 11. The sales girl checks and comes back to tell her no. She then asked her what they had in size 11 and if she could see them. The girl steps to the back then comes back with five pairs of shoes. She picks a black pair of 6" pumps and tells me to try them on. I almost s%#& my pants! The sales girl does a double take and looks at me wide eyed! I was so shocked that she did this. The store was full of shoppers and me being embaressed said I really did not want to. We soon left the store. Now my girlfriend is upset that I would not try them and told me last night that if I wanted to crossdress then I really needed to get over the hang ups and just be myself. What should I do? What would you do? I have dressed for years and kept it in the house or car but never really dressed in public. I am totally scared to death that something might happen since crossdressing is not really accepted here in the bible belt! I don't know what I should do and even though I really wanted to try the shoes, I felt that under the circumstances it was not such a good idea.

[softandsmooth]

[QUOTE=guynheels] Week before last I told her that I wanted to try shopping around town for clothes and shoes instead of the internet since most things I buy don't always fit. If we bought it in town I could take it back as most internet shops don't accept returns. She is all for it except that she tells me if I buy anything she wants me to try it on before we buy. /QUOTE]

Well, you have said that you had discussed it before hand, and she was all for the idea of trying things on before you bought them.

I think what you had in mind was trying things on in a more discreet fashion and completely on YOUR terms.

Perhaps she feels hurt - she wanted to be involved and active in your desires to dress up, and then you backed down...

Maybe you need to have a little heart-to-heart chat and talk about comfort levels and starting out slow. Perhaps there might be a CD friendly shop close to you where you and your lady friend could set up an "after hours" shopping ship?

Charlotte

[Jenna1561]

This type of decision really tears at my insides also. I also live in America's so called bible-belt and completely understand your concern. My wife doesn't know about my dressing, so it's very important that I not get outed. I have tried on shoes at a few thrift shops, a couple of Wal-Marts, and a Payless Shoes, but all were some distance away from my hometown, which provided me with some courage and enabled me to attempt what I considered a daring move.

I have not tried on anything other than shoes and a few jackets/sweaters - nothing that would require a fitting room. I rarely go out dressed because the few times I have, I have generally been read. Which is pretty easy, seeing as I am 5'10" and about 275lbs.

Small town rural America generally, not always, but generally, harbours small minds. I find the metroploitan areas more friendly and professional; read that as polite and no snickering, at least not in my presence.

I believe you need to tell your g/f about your anxieties and concerns about trying on girl's clothing and accessories in locations where you might be identified or your colleagues/friends might find out about your dressing.

I think you're lucky to have a supportive g/f who wants to help, you just need to be open and share your fears and concerns and establish some guidelines for your activities.

Those are my thoughts on the matter. I don't know if they'll help, but that's how I feel. I haven't been on this forum long, but it seems to be full of bright, compassionate girls, who truly want to help each other. I am proud to be a part of it and hope you enjoy your stay.

Love,
Jenna

[CharlotteSomers]

First, if I was you, I'd feel lucky to have a girlfriend like that.

Second, just tell her that she suprised you and you weren't expecting it. BE HONEST. Tell her that in time, you may be ready to do something like that but you don't want to be rushed. If you are honest and speak from the heart, I'm sure whe will get over it and if you play it right, might end up feeling bad for you.

Can you say make-up sex?

[kristi cd]

What Charlotte said, being honest will probably help here more than anything. I know how you feel about trying stuff on in the store though. :o

[Wenda]

Not sure what part of the bible belt you are in, dear, but you have perspective from Oklahoma and Manitoba, and I live in Saskatchewan. You must be somewhere between the three of us. First thing, be very, very grateful for having the gf that you have. Second, when you are with a gg, you can push the envelope of normal a lot further than when you are shopping solo. Second, she is from the same region? then she has the same inhibitions to overcome that you have, so, from her perspective, inviting you to try them on with others in the store is showing her support well beyond what is 'normal', right? Third, she may be living a bit vicariously and enjoying being part of a 'naughty' secret without actively participating. Anyway, I would thank her for her support and for pressing the limits, and apologize for being unprepared for her 'naughty' suggestion. just my thoughts. My gf has been aware of my renewed interest in cd, and last weekend we went to Minot for the weekend. She knew I was wearing stockings, thong, athletic bra and my cute little A's. At first she was a bit nervous, but got right into it, and now kind of likes having her new friend Wenda to go looking at shoes and lingerie with. All the best. wenda

[Lily_gg]

As well as being honest about comfort levels, why you backed out in the shop etc, TELL HER YOU LOVE HER!!!

She'll be feeling hurt, confused and rejected right now that you've said you'll try stuff on when out shopping, and then you refused when she worked up the courage to help you do so (I'm guessing it wasn't easy for her to do). So just make sure you tell her how much you appreciate her doing that, and just how completely and utterly special she is to you, and do something sweet like surprise her with a homecooked meal one night (assuming you can cook!)

Oh, and it may be time to work out whether you ever want this to be a 'public' thing (ie go out dressed), or whether you'd rather keep it in the house/bedroom on your own/with your gf, and talk this over with her too - it sounds like she'll listen and help you.

Whatever you decide to do, hope things all go well for you *hug* :o

[Krissi]

The girls here are right. That was a very brave and supportive thing that she did for you in the store. Granted I can relate to being shocked and surprised. Tell her that you appreciate her gesture and work out some ground rules for events like that, like trying things on only in certain types of shops a certain distance from home or something like that. Remember outside of your own little area no one knows or cares who you are, have fun with it, especially if she wants to. Good luck.

JJ :)