Full-Time!!! ...Well, preparing for full-time

[dreamer_2.0]

With the prospect of full-time looming on the horizon, I'm trying to figure out what to have completed by the time I pull the pin.

The following list includes areas I'd like to either be finished in or at least well on my way to doing so:

- Legal name change and ID
- Change name on bills/bank account/etc
- Continue facial hair removal
- Decent, if not passable, voice
- Officially come out at work and figure out the bathroom situation
- Figure out hair situation as transplants are still growing and I've got another round of them
- Sufficiently sized wardrobe
- Makeup skills

The last two aren't really as integral to going full-time as they're more superficial, but I think they would help a fair bit. No going back to boy mode!

How was your preparation for full-time? Did you have a list too? Is there anything I've missed perhaps?

[Jennifer-GWN]

Hmmm... Good question and many paths. My simple choice was to be outwardly presentable and comfortable with how I looked. Being in that space of mind helped overcome any potential interaction setbacks that might have cropped up. Wardrobe was a huge issue particularly given work expectations. Hair and makeup at a point I really felt good about. Work allowed me to change name and all references internally prior to official name change which takes simply calander time. I had also spent 4 or 5 months with a voice coach as well before going full time. As for facial hair ... Necessary evil that will have to be put up with to the degree you are able. If I were daily in an office I'm quite sure my days of electro would end quickly simply because I CANNOT handle scruffiness of any kind and being out in public. That's my demon. So it would be shaving.

For me it really came down to presenting a solid and confident image and removing as many barriers as I could before pulling the trigger. In part this decision was based on many stories here of folks who jumped early and subsequently dealt with acceptance issues afterwards (in part potentially due to jumping too quickly and I recognize ONLY in part as there can be lots of other acceptance factors).

You have to choose what comfort level you feel is workable ... Think ahead without rose colored glasses on this one and ask others you trust if they think your ready... Everyone's situation is different I just want it to be smooth for you.

Cheers... Jennifer

[I Am Paula]

I can't add much to Jennifer's excellent response, except- It's 99% psychological. You can have a bunch of appearance things unfinished, but when you feel ready to step out you can. The public will excuse a multitude of sins if you walk with your head up, your boobs out, and have a ton of confidence.
I was one of those really early full timers. I had been going out en femme for years, so even before the hormones kicked in, before the implants, shaving every day, I was mentally prepared for it, and nobody cared that my presentation wasn't perfect.
Your list looks very good. It will change, and evolve as you go. Good luck.

[Megan G]

Like Paula for me the most important factor that I needed to check off my list was comfort and confidence. I needed to know that I was going to be prepared as best as I possibly could be for anything that way thrown my way.

Coming out in a small rural town was not all that easy and a lot of people questioned the fact if I was doing the right thing or if I was just confused. So I needed to make sure that I was 110% confident and comfortable in who I was, and put forth the best presentation possible. Like Paula said, people will overlook some stuff if you can present a confident you. This was the most important factor for me.

Everyone's list/needs before FT are different. In my case I will never be able to go stealth so I concentrated less on appearance and more on psychological prep...

[Cindy J Angel]

Everybody keeps posting help I need thanks. I have been working towards full time for quite some time. The best thing I found that's helps is confidential, head held high chest out and talk to people. When they see you and u engage with them we all come out a head. A lot of the girls I see in my everyday doings a some of the man I c a lot will engage with me out side of there work. So it must be working. And I have the girls on here to thank for that. Love Cindy

[PretzelGirl]

So many well said things. But I can't help but to say a little. :D

The first thing I would ask is what makes you comfortable? For me, I like to have things well planned. I looked at my time from the day I thought about it to when I wanted to transition. I looked at family interactions and started writing dates for everything. And I mean everything. Each major person I was coming out to, name change, etc. It was very comforting for me because seeing something laid out like that means that I can really do it and I felt under control.

The other thing is that a lot of things may not really matter that first day. It all depends on what matters most to you. It doesn't have to be everything. Can you stand in front of coworkers and friends and feel the best you can (which probably won't be 100% for a while). Even if some things get done as you go along, being ready to face that first day and move on day to day needs certain things for your anxiety and dysphoria to be calm. Think about that and you can prioritized based off of that.

[Georgette_USA]

Good Luck on all your work to go full-time
I can't add much. I always tell people that confidence and attitude are the number 1 thing. Can't say I planned any of my preparations. Tend to be someone who just jumps in and get things done. Everything before name change all together.

As a very very early full time, and from lots of I hear very quick. I took about 3.5 years from start, exit military, to finish, SRS. I worked on all the preliminary things first, those which could be reversed, as I worked up my confidence.
Grew hair out
Electrolysis
Ears pierced
Coming out to family
HRT
Wardrobe makeup and just going out and about
Legal name change - and fixed all documents for that - this was the final thing before work and security clearance
Declared intention to transition at work and together working out the legal parts
After go ahead from surgeons started working as female
Only about 9 months - then SRS
After that all the sex/gender changes on legal stuff

After a few years, was kind of a letdown. Worked hard and fast then it was all over. Partner and I just went into just living as two women together. Hard to believe now that it has been 40 years ago.

[Marcelle]

For me it was mental preparation and self acceptance. I realized quite early I will never be pretty and people will always see the man and not the woman I know I am. It took about two years of slowly building up my confidence in who I was which included interacting with people as I honed my voice (still a very husky Lauren Bacall) and feeling confident enough to know that while I can probably pass through a crowded mall or busy street unscathed by prying eyes (blender) I never survive first contact. Once I got to the point of accepting my limitations and dealing with the hand genetics has dealt me . . . going full time was an relatively painless progression.

Cheers

Marcelle

[I Am Paula]

I forgot. I can not stress the importance of getting your name and I.D. together. I know some locations make it hard, but when you can, do it. No time during transition is not too early, and it beats being called sir in the bank, and every time you pull out a credit card.

[Zooey]

Beyond agreed on name/ID changes. I was "full-time except for work" for a year, and the end of that year was getting pretty obnoxious, in no small part due to constant ID issues.