Demographic situation?

[xNicolex]

What is your demographic like? By that I mean your areas perception of people who fall within transgender realms? I ask because there are alot of us on here from all over the world and would like to see how answers differ or if they differ at all. I am from Ireland and in recent years we have become more liberal as a country but there is always room for improvement. I noticed that their are alot of people from the USA on here and I must admit that I was a little surprised to here that crossdressing is just as taboo there as it is here in Ireland :straightface: I thought that with such a large interesting and diverse culture that people in some parts of America at least would be able to live openly without too much scrutiny placed on them :sad: Maybe I was naive in thinking that the grass is greener elsewhere but then again not every Irish person is a drunk lunatic either so I suppose some perceptions on certain nationalities are based alot on stereo types and not actual real life :) I expect that would be the case for alot of countries but some are far worse than others I am sure. I'm not saying either that its a competition and whoever has it the hardest gets to complain the most :heehee: but I would like to see just how people from different countries are treated based on the social perception of crossdressing in their demo.

[Adriana Moretti]

Interesting Thread..I look forward to reading the responses...my response does not count though....I am spoiled and blessed ..i live in new york, the melting pot mecca ....nothing is shocking here and most people just don't care, or they are in too much of a hurry anyway to care. Just like every place else though you still have to be careful and be smart about things.
Here in New York you still have to be careful where you go. The ghettos of the city are pretty much off limits . Most attacks on our community happen in these areas.( Amazingly tied to either drugs or prostitution)..but Manhattan is like disneyland these days, and most of brooklyn is too ( most of it but not all) But no matter where you are you always have to watch your back and be aware of your surroundings . I honestly think that attitude has actually helped me, it is something you grow up with here, you get street smart at a young age which makes going any place else in the world easy... but here we are spoiled compared to other places. It IS still taboo in alot of places in the U.S...some states are still struggling with the legal issues, .....but this is new york ...you want to walk around with bunny ears and rollerskates...go ahead. Nobody cares....just be smart and watch your back after 4am when everyone who is out is just as wasted as you, , you could easily be in the wrong place at the wrong time, use uber and taxi's and avoid mass transit...your good to go, a guy wearing girls clothes isnt weird here, unless you make it weird...and even then...its not weird enough
...XOXO

[trisha kobichenko]

I have a couple of thoughts to share...since I am of Irish/English stock I can relate to the 'drunk lunatic' comment, but getting serious, US culture is derived from British Puritan beliefs...very conservative, very religious. Waves of immigrants (mostly Catholic) softened the overall cultural view a little, but resistance to any sexual/gender variation is common to all the original and subsequent waves of immigration.

[pamela7]

I KNOW the world's greenest grass is in Ireland Nicole!!!
Now, as to demographics, I live in probably the most liberal town, period - Glastonbury, UK; we even went 5 years without a traffic warden. We're the centre of I think one of the world's largest annual music festivals, where nearly 200,000 people turn up in June. Of the town's 8500 denizens I think 25% are hippies, maybe 50%, and anything goes: wizards, witches, druids, and t-girls.

[Candice June Lee]

Like every place, all our major cities have individual subcultures. One part of town may hate us, the other loves us. Some cities love us, others only tolerate us. Done States the same. Just like people, you never know how or what they think. I've been all over Memphis, I'm tolerated in some places and accepted in others. But as of yet, I've not had a fowl word said. With that, a group of us went out to breakfast after a night out and were given poor service and uncooked/poorly cooked food at IHOP two different ones and two different days. So we started going to waffle house. Better acceptance there. I used to have issues with customers taking unwanted pictures. I just started having my phone handy and took theirs too. That stops the picture taking issue pretty quickly. So it's different depending on a lot of factors.

[CarlaWestin]

Hi Nicole, I live in Las Vegas, NV. So, OK, let the stereotyping begin. I could spend the rest of my life here as a female and blend right in. Demographically, it's like any other metropolitan area with surrounding suburbs. And, there are places on the strip and downtown where practically any roleplay costume would just be observed as eye candy in a town of sensory overload and not considered too out of place. But then in my inner social and employment demo, if I decided to emulate as a female everyone would be generally polite to the freak.

[taylormercedes]

I live in Chicago, similar to Adriana, the perks of living in a big city still apply. There's so many different strange happenings going on that unless you make a huge deal of it, really 99% of the way you present will either go unnoticed, uncared about, or chuckled at. But when I used to live in the suburbs I used to get more strange looks. But I've never had any problems, possibly the perks of a large metropolitan area. But i know of places were friends of mine that lived in smaller towns have encountered problems with even just being gay.

[Tina81]

DC while conservative is supportive of GLBT. I think if most people saw a dude dressed as a female that they would think he was a transsexual vice crossdresser. I worked at a federal govt agency and we had a guy wearing a dress full time. Only side comments I heard from the women was that if he's going to dress that way he shouldn't dress frumpy and not wear white before Easter.
I'd be interested to hear from others here who live or work in DC.
I think the suburbs would not as open-minded.

[Jenniferathome]

Nicole, I spend about half my time in Idaho and half in Northern California (Silicon Valley). You can't really imagine two more different states in the union even though these two states are quite close to each other. Idaho is a conservative state. It's anti-government intervention, and pro traditional family. The population has to be 90% white. We have no slums. Boise, the Capital, has a population of less than 200,000. There are only 1,000,000 people in the whole state! Now, while the laws in my state are not overtly supportive of anything non traditional I've never seen no experienced anything but friendly people. Don't get me wrong, there are racists and haters here like anywhere, but they are few. I would not use the word "accept" but rather, I think the phrase "roll with it," works.

California is known for is "tolerance" of anything. The population is huge and very ethnically and culturally diverse. I think this drives people to focus inwardly rather than externally. People are not as friendly as in my home town, but they stay out of others' business. So, whether in San Francisco, San Jose, Orange County or San Diego, I've never had an issue (the coast). The central part of the state, the farming valley, could be a very different vibe. I've not been out there.

So in the end, I am treated equally well in either place but I think in California it's more of a "seen it" mentality vs in Idaho it's more of a "wow, that's a dude in a dress. That's kind of different," sort of mentality.

[Stephanie47]

Washington State's laws are very anti-discrimination as relates to gays, lesbians and transgenders. However, having legal rights does not translate to personal acceptance. It really comes down to NIMBY. Most people really do not care. There are intolerant people all over. There may be chuckles or disapproving glances, but, people just go on with their lives. I grew up in New York City. When I relocated to Washington State all I heard from new coworkers at the job was how unfriendly New Yorkers were. Now, these {people} never went to New York City. I've found the suburban Washingtonians come home, park their cars, and, never leave their homes or associate with their neighbors. They are clannish. They seem to want to associate only with people who are clones of themselves. I've had numerous conversations with people on the subject of sexual diversity, and, in private too many espouse negativity or intolerance towards gays, lesbians and transsexuals. There are places in Seattle that sexual minorities will find like minded individuals and venues to attend, but, there has been too many assaults on sexual minorities just because they are different. In my city of 200,000 I'd say it's the same as Seattle. Gays, lesbians and transsexuals tend to socialize among themselves. Outside of the large cities I would not suggest a cross dresser wear a dress to church. The populace seems to be accepting of transsexuals, i.e., accepting the concept of a person trapped in the wrong body, but, does not accept the notion of cross dressing.

The big uproar right now is a new Washington State administrative regulations indicating a person may use the restroom/locker room of the sex they identify with. The issue of privacy vs transsexual rights has arisen. It's NIMBY. Women do not want to dress and undress in front of male genitalia, nor, have their daughters exposed to male genitals in a locker room. There is a push to have the regulation overturned by passing a law or a people's initiative.

[Nadine Spirit]

Hmmm..... lets see here - I live in Central California. I have never had any problems.

I also frequently travel to the coast, and had no problems. I also travel north to San Francisco area, and had no problems. I also travel south to Los Angeles and had no problems.

Hmmm.... where else?????

I've been to Oregon, with no problems. I've been to Nevada, with no problems. I've been to Arizona, with no problems.

And all of these places, I have driven to, while dressed, stopping at gas stations, rest stops, grocery stores, shopping malls, little poe-dunk itty bitty towns with the locals chewing on a piece of hay while sitting in their rocking chairs out in front of the general store. And, guess what? No problems.

Okay.... where else?

I flew out of Vegas, dressed as a woman, into Chicago, and had no problems, on the flight, or in Chicago. We then drove up to central Wisconsin, with no problems. From there we flew in Pennsylvania, and drove to a spot outside of Philly, and had no problems.

Hmmm.... I guess I am just lucky.


The thing is, is that everyone thinks they are tolerant, but that someone else won't be. I distinctly remember the guy at O'Hare telling me that in Chicago, they were pretty tolerant of everyone's differences, but that I should be very careful while driving into central Wisconsin, because up there in Wisconsin they can be a bit different. And in reality, the folks in Wisconsin that I did encounter were actually a bit more polite then the folks in Chicago.

I think that about covers the extent of my travels.

[Jenniferathome]

"The thing is, is that everyone thinks they are tolerant, but that someone else won't be."

I think this is a great observation. It explains why there are so little problems for those who go out and yet the reservation of those who "can't go out because my area is conservative."

[Lorileah]

: moderator note: We don't make fun of any group, we don't discuss any religion and we follow rules on what you can and can't post here (any question on that see the FAQs)

[Jackie7]

I'm generally out in New York and Philadelphia, safe and easy, Adriana said it all. But Lancaster pa, where we also spend a lot of time, not so much. And I was strangely inhibited on a recent trip to St Pete in Florida, didn't feel safe.

[steftoday]

Central VA - Richmond area.

When one of the news stations in this area posts something (on their facebook page for example) that discusses anything trans, or gay related, the assholes that come out of the woodwork and post such hateful responses to them, you would think that the pitchfork and torch waving crowds never take time off around here.

That being said, this area is purported to be one of the most "trans accepting" areas around here. One of the local universities has a special dorm for transgender students; my therapist teaches transgender studies there, and there is at least one support group that helps trans people deal with their issues.

We are 90 minutes from DC, where Sometimes Steffi and others from this site that live in that area can tell you about the LGBT activities that are supported in that area.

It's not San Francisco (sigh, what is?), but this area is not too bad.

[Camisoul]

I think the vast majority of the United States, small town to metropolis, is tolerant, if not necessarily accepting. That's all I personally ask for and of any "different" group.

Just like I tolerate kids blasting music on the train, distracted drivers, etc..

I certainly understand the uproar over bathroom use. I don't have an easy answer to it.

[Georgette_USA]

Tina
Not to talk politics, but why you say DC is conservative. We can debate that offline.

DC or the larger DC area are like many other metro areas. There are good and accepting areas and some not so good. I think the No Virginia area is the most open. I and my friends, TG/TS/CD, go all over there with NO problems.

Have lived in the greater WASH DC area since 1969. I transitioned and worked in the Dept of Defense all over. Was this person in a dress a TG/TS or CD, poor choices of descriptions, dude dressed - guy wearing a dress. Surprised if they were so obvious that there were no problems. I never wore a dress at work, computer repair/programming, doesn't work under a desk.

[Rachael Leigh]

Living in the Dallas Ft Worth area I've found mostly acceptance when I've been out, being a large metro area I'm sure it's mostly because people just have their own business to worry about.
Now yes I've gone to a few what one would consider trans/cd friendly like DB and LB or Ulta but still in most places I'm treated very nicely

[Amanda M]

We live in rural spain - the ancestral home of the pitchfork! But Pamela - Glastonbury? Maybe you know Congresbury. The Plough? The Old Inn?

Tell me!

[Lacey New]

I'm also in Central Virginia - Richmond area as well. I agree with Steftoday that this area can be somewhat of a mixed bag. I've never had a hard time shopping - and I only shop in drab (maybe underdressed) so for the most part the SAs are only guessing that i am shopping for myself. I tend to head north toward DC if I want to go to a Dress Barn and try things on. There are still a lot of Bubbas down here but fortunately you don't find then in the Intimate Apparel section of JC Penneys

[alwayshave]

I live in DC, which is rather accepting. There is even a drag brunch (though I have never been) in one of the restaurants on my block. I have never had any one say anything to me.

[Helen_Highwater]

There's a thread running though this thread. It's heavily weighted to wherever folks live, people are; reasonable, generally, on the whole, accepting. Perhaps we need to re-adjust our way of thinking as to the overall way society now views us. No it's not yet perfect but can it be said that from this anecdotal evidence society is becoming ever more tolerant?

As for where I live in the UK. I would say most people in most towns either aren't bothered by seeing us, take it or leave it sort of thing, or they're now accepting of others having different lifestyles/choices. What you can't ignore however is in every town or city there will be areas that only the brave or foolhardy would venture in to. That is likely to be the case for a long time to come.

[Nine]

HI Nicole !

The parents of my grand mother came from Limerick and came in France in the beginning of 1900's. Some parts of her family has leaved Eire for the USA.
Well, what about situation in France, not so good... In Paris you have some place where you can feel good but society is not so friendly to accept transgender.
When I get back home from parties or meetings, I prefer take a taxi and not public transport. It also happened to me that the taxi driver look to me as a shit. Some others are curious.
A dude in dress, it makes allways laugh the most part of society, even some of these "machos" maybe would try, "just for one day"

Where's the paradise of TG ? Samoa Islands maybe where TG is a cultural thing.
France is not known to be puritan and I think the problem is not religious.
TG is confidential, and a very personnal way to live, to feel, to be. A lot of us prefer staying at home, hiding CD in security of their home. And I can see that this fact is universal.
Maybe it's the real problem, we're not enough seen and know by society.

[CarlaWestin]

DC while conservative is supportive of GLBT.
I'd be interested to hear from others here who live or work in DC.
Born and raised in DC and lived there for 50yrs. DC is breathtakingly leftist liberal non-conservative. That was a big part of the reason that we moved.
But, like any large metro area it seems to be TBGL tolerant leaning more toward the side of acceptance.

[Rhonda Darling]

Nicole:

First, lets get it straight. It's MS. IRISH DRUNK LUNATIC to you. :heehee:

Now, on to your great topic. I too live in the Washington, DC area. Washington itself has proven to be very LGBTQ friendly, for the most part. Its bathroom law for TG/TS is one of the best in the nation. Use the one you're presenting as. The neighboring areas of Northern Virginia are equally accepting, again -- for the most part. I and several other girls on this site are members of a 500+ Meetup group of TG/TS/CD ladies who regularly get together in various venues to socialize and party. We don't only go to LGBTQ establishments. We go to mainstream restaurants. We have large gathering in major hotels, using their restaurants, lobby bars and othe public space for large scale get togethers. We go out clubbing, to movies and live theatre, and generally have a great time without being hassled. We've found that if you do your best to present as a lady, act civilly, and have a sense of humor about ourselves when people interact with us, that we're pretty much left alone to enjoy ourselves.

This area is friendly for shopping, buying auto parts, going to the laundry, groceries, and other errands of everyday life. As long as one exercises situatuonal awareness and avoids areas where low life knuckle draggers tend to congregate (I hope that's not a recognized group that will take offense at my reference) we are pretty much left alone to fill our niche in society.

That said, it's not all unicorns and fairy tales in the USA. There are trans women in some communities who are murdered. There are MANY MANY cowards who respond to blogs, online articles, magazines, talk radio shows, etc. and who spew venimous sentiments towards us. In person, those who are polite may be sincere, or they may only be adopting a politically correct public persona when dealing with us and joking about us later. The gay community faced this, and still faces it to a smaller degree. Our general acceptance is years behind that of the gay community.

Rhonda

[Tracii G]

I live in Central Kentucky and once in a blue moon you might get a look or someone that will say/do something but its pretty rare.
My town is 300 k population wise and pretty accepting overall and we do have fairness laws in place for gay/trans people.
Even up in the mountains of Eastern Kentucky where you think trouble would happen to a trans person they tend to be very accepting/tolerant.
I went to a trans group meeting in a place called Belfrey Ky in the heart of coal mining country (I mean no flat ground for miles LOL).
Everything went very well and there were maybe 60 people that showed up maybe half were trans or just CDers the others were curious people from the area.

[rachelatshop]

I live in Maine, which is mostly made up of small communities. It is true that most people today through the internet or other news sources have heard of trans people an maybe cross dressers, but most have never met, or been exposed to one, therefor, they have no understanding of the life style. The lack of understanding leads to fear and discrimination. If I was to walk down the street of my conservative town as a passable, confident woman, and did not give anyone reason to question what their eyes see. No one would say anything or treat me any different than any cis-woman. This has nothing to do with demographics, or acceptance, it has to do with imagery. I have lived all of my life in this community, and have created a strong male image of myself with all of the many people I have worked with over the years. If I could completely pass as a woman, and I were to come out to only my small community of close friends, there are those who would believe that my condition is a kind of disease that can be treated, in some way ; several are conservatively religious and would not want to associate with me anymore; most of my friend would wonder and question who I really am, because the new image so conflicts with my established male image; and just a very small number would accept me as me no matter what image I projected. Images are a powerful thing that we are born with. If my wife, who knows me better than anybody else, and many times struggles with my acceptance, why would I expect the world to just except me?

[Teresa]

Nicole,
Living in the UK, I had the same thoughts as you, that the US would be far more liberal and accepting but we appear to encounter the same problems, sadly we appear to have lost some members from Australia and South Africa but we all talk about society and their acceptance in a similar manner ! Wives appear to have the same view of their husbands no matter where they live !

[Dana44]

Here in central Texas is a conservative area. I'm in a small town and next to another town. I run as fem in our town but as male in the other part of town. No problems yet but I do try to blend and so far its been fun. But onetime we went to our typical restaurant and it was totally full of men and they had a boxing match on. We went to a table and and had dinner. Did get a few looks but I think I was pretty feminine and looked pretty female. But after i thought that was a scary move to stay there. Next time we will split for another restaurant. I think if you try to blend and cause no issue, it is tolerable. But I only go to things like movies or dinner and not so much for other things like auto parts or garages. Yet if i am shaved I get mamm'ed a lot anyways. I have long mid blonde hair and even looking in my own mirror i look pretty fem.

[AngelaYVR]

I've actually been wondering why the posters to this site are overwhelmingly white (for those who post a pic)

[2B Natasha]

Well. I have to say that I disagree and agree with some parts of what Stephanie47 had to say. For I too live in western Washington. The big difference is that I grew up here as did my relatives. And while it's true we may seem standoffish. We are misread. We are a do your own thing and leave me the heck alone type of place. I've taken my Fem self all over the surrounding area and have had no issue. Do people look? S'pose they do. I'm to busy with my own thing to notice. I routinely have roaring fires in my backyard and invite my neighbors over to roast marshmallows or just sit and talk. Bring the beer or wine. I'll supply the wood and chairs!

Are we New York? No. Chicago? No. Dallas? No. And we don't want to be either.

We are tolerant of most anything. Think of this. We have the tri-ficta of liberalism.
Pot is legal
We VOTED in gay marriage
And we have the right to die.

First state with all three and I think only Oregon is the only other state now that has all three.

So ya. We are liberal and accepting of you and your thing whatever it is as long as it isn't hurting anyone. Except you if you want. That's your business. Not mine. Will I talk to you in an elevator? No.

Hey Stephanie47! Give me a shout and we can fire pit it together sometime.

[nikkiwindsor]

Crossdressers and others anywhere across the transgender spectrum are pretty much taboo (well honestly, very taboo) where I live. I have to travel some distance to larger cities to find greater acceptance and even then it depends on which communities you're spending time in (e.g. LGBT friendly bars as compared to walking through a mall). But, I do have to admit that my local wig boutique is very understanding and respectful of my feminine side. Nikki