Tara Rushing
02-22-2016, 11:23 AM
I almost don’t even know how to start this post. Finally “going out” seems like something that was almost 4 decades in the making and the emotions are very overwhelming still. I will attempt to blend the narrative of the events with some of my emotions that I was feeling. I am sure I will leave out a few details because, as I said, I’m still a bit overwhelmed by it all, and the fact that my "going out” was a two-day “event”. I appreciate each of you reading it and welcome any feedback and questions. I know what it is like to “want to go out” but being too scared to do it so hopefully it can serve as an inspiration to others who are similarly situated.
I was presented with the opportunity to meet a CD friend in a large metro area about two hours away from me for two days with no specific agenda other than getting acquainted and going out together to shop and eat, etc….
My wardrobe is very limited so I arrived the afternoon before and did a little shopping “en homme”. I really needed a top as all I had was sweaters (having purged last fall) and the temps were supposed to be in the mid 70’s. I could only find one!! And it wasn’t really that cute, but it did give me something to go out in and “hey I’m here to shop as a female, so I’ll get more, right?”.
The big day arrived and I woke up early (actually I had just rolled around in bed from about 3AM onward with excitement) and got my makeup on. I had this terrible fear of not being able to get my makeup on right with it being the “big day”. I don’t know if all CD’s are this way but sometimes I can get my makeup “right” and sometimes, I just have to “wipe off”…LOL…. Well, it was sort of a struggle but I got halfway presentable just in time. My friend arrived to pick me up and our first order of business was a meeting at the wig shop that she had arranged for me. We drove about 5 minutes over to the shop and the big moment had finally arrived!!! I had to get out of the vehicle and walk across the parking lot, walk in, and interact with people dressed as a woman! WOW….At this point, luckily, instead of fear taking over, my natural personality of “just do it” took over. So out the door and over to the shop we went! When we walked in we were greeted by the sweetest lady that was about my age (I guess, LOL) and the conversation seemed to be pretty easy but my heart was still pounding!! I had to pick out a few wigs to try on so that we could begin the honing process. I could only pick two out…..suddenly I was “choosy”….WTH!?!? Luckily with those she was able to start making suggestions on length, color, styles, ect….always asking me my thoughts and having my desires first but with a guiding hand of what looked best. After about 30 minutes between the three of us we had made a decision!!! I felt like a million dollars and suddenly my heart wasn’t pounding anymore. I felt calm! And most importantly, I felt pretty!! I am blessed beyond words that the shop owner was so very helpful as was my friend in making suggestions and comments. If possible I would suggest having a good honest friend with you to help with the process. It makes it worlds easier.
A note for anyone considering a “good” wig from a shop, there is going to be no one “perfect” wig. You are going to like the back on one wig and the bangs on another and the color on another, ect…the trick is tying it together in the best compromise that you can. The wig I finally decided on cost $350 and was a lace front. I put up a thread yesterday in the beauty section and welcome comments on it. It was an investment that I don’t regret. I believe it is the best money I have spent as a CD.
So with my new wig on my girlfriend and I head back to the vehicle and we are ready to shop!! We spot a Marshal’s in a strip mall just down the road and pull into the parking lot. Into the store we go! Tara’s big moment! Immediately the greeter who was a female says, “good morning, ladies”….OMG…the thrill!!! My first time in a clothes store as a woman! We shopped around. My friend tried on an outfit. I needed some female sunglasses! It was so fun trying on sunglasses. Preening like a woman to find the “right” pair of sunglasses. Finally I found a pair I liked. I also needed a makeup case to keep some makeup items in my purse. Found one of those as well. No employee or other customer ever acting in any way towards me as if I was anything other than 100% woman. It felt incredible. But now we had a hurdle to jump in that my voice is pretty male. Obviously this was a little different than the wig shop. I have been practicing on my voice a little the last few months with my phone making videos, etc…but it just seemed so fake, I decided to pretty much just use my normal voice. The register lady never batted an eye…..friendly as could be!
Our next stop was a Target store to look for tops. Wow, are the Targets in the metro areas bigger than the Targets in “Podunk, Texas”!!! We browsed around and I picked out a few tops. Time for another biggie: trying on clothes! We strolled over the dressing rooms and walked right in. Mission Accomplished! I tried on my tops taking a few selfies to send to my friend for the thumbs up or down and, of course, for posterity of my first time in the ladies dressing rooms. I picked up a couple of other items and we self checked at Target.
At this point it was about lunch time and we decided to eat at a BJ’s Restaurant and Brewhouse in an outdoor mall area. Walked in an had a brief wait to be seated. After getting seated, we ordered a couple of beers and I had an Asian salad. The waiter was friendly but kept referring to us as “guys”. We couldn’t decide if that was just his pronoun of choice, as some people always use the phrase “guys” or if we were “outed”. We decided we did NOT care. He was friendly, the food was good and we were having fun. I had two beers and of course “nature called”. Another big hurdle: the women’s room!! My friend went first, and then I was going to go, but two young moms took two 3-4 year old kids in with them. I decided to wait until they left. When they left, I just strolled in got a stall and had no problems. Another lady walked in and I finished, washed my hands, and checked myself in the mirror and out I went. No problems!
After lunch, my friend had suggested earlier that I get my foundation matched at Mac cosmetics. She asked if I was “up to it” and feeling pretty comfortable at this point, I said “sure”. Now I won’t beat around the bush here, and I have even said this in several posts here, going to a makeup store was “on my bucket list”. I pined to do this! We walked in and my friend took the lead and asked if they could “match” her friend. They said “sure”. This almost became a surreal experience at this point. Getting in the chair and sitting there in front of “god and the world” since this particular Dillards is more open air and the Mac area is almost a “display window” at the front of the store was incredible. The girl that did me was over the top nice and the three “artists” that were working were super. They all three were helping and oohing and aahing and helping each other and kept telling me I had beautiful eyes and was so pretty. If a 46 year old man could feel like a princess, I think I did at that point. After they matched me (22), I asked if they could do a makeover. The manager said they had a 3 o’clock appointment but that they could ‘freshen’ my makeup. They decided that I needed to “pop my eyes”. That the best way to do this was orange eyeshadow! OMG, I was thinking. But these girls are pros and after seeing it, I was in awe. My eyes jumped out at you. They worked on me for almost an hour with tons of customers coming in and everyone chatting away. None of the other customers said a word or even made any sort of untoward expression. Several smiled. Basically I think I got a full makeover. They redid my whole face. Foundation, eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, lips, everything. The best part was how they all helped and kept telling me how great I looked. At this point my “fem meter” was on 11 for sure. My friend had got some advice on lipstick from one of the sweet young girls and I could tell they were having a ball too. Since it took so long on me she went upstairs and had done some shopping. I finally caught up.
After this my friend needed to head home and check her pets so she took me back to the hotel and we were going to reconvene for dinner, in a couple of hours. And at this point I could tell, old man 5 o’clock shadow was visiting. When I got back to the room, I was pretty glum about removing my makup to shave. I made the best of it. Got a quick 20 minute rest in the easy chair and then removed my makeup and shaved. I tried my best to recreate the work of the pros. Obviously I couldn’t match their work but I did my best to get ready for our dinner date. (The picture of my wig in the other thread was taken at this point)
My girlfriend had made reservations for us at a nice Italian restaurant, and we arrived and were seated without a glitch. My friend and I were chatting away and noticed that we hadn’t gotten a server yet and it had been probably close to 10 minutes in our booth. The restaurant was a real open restaurant and we could hardly have been placed more in the center of the place. Our waitress arrived and to be honest she seemed a little nervous but was very friendly. I ordered a “Peach Bellini”. I was going for fem! The waitress had “warmed up” and told us that she had just turned 21 and the Peach Bellini was wonderful! And she was right it was!! My friend tried and said it was like “drinking a peach”. I had fish and roasted veggies and my friend had a sausage and pasta. At this point a middle age male brought the food out and while not rude was not friendly and just sat the food in front of us. And actually got our meals reversed. The food was really good! We had a divine time. Chatting away like two girlfriends. Several times, I glanced around at this almost full restaurant and all the people around just going about life. No one gave us a second look. I don’t think we could have blended in more.
After dinner we strolled over to a neat little bar and had a couple of cocktails and some more “girlfriend talk”. It started getting late so we decided to call it a day and headed back to the hotel. I had just had the kind of day that I had dreamed about. In fact it was almost better than I had dreamed about. I had pretty much lived a full day as a woman, almost 17 straight hours (with a shaving break, lol). The interaction with my new girlfriend was priceless. The way were treated all day long by sales associates, waiters/waitresses/sales associates was overwhelmingly positive. I think the “bring home message” of the day was if you are friendly and smile and act comfortable in your skin people around you WANT to be nice and accept you.
I am going to take a break here since this is so long. If anyone is interested, I can write-up day two sometime. Thanks for reading along!
~Tara
I was presented with the opportunity to meet a CD friend in a large metro area about two hours away from me for two days with no specific agenda other than getting acquainted and going out together to shop and eat, etc….
My wardrobe is very limited so I arrived the afternoon before and did a little shopping “en homme”. I really needed a top as all I had was sweaters (having purged last fall) and the temps were supposed to be in the mid 70’s. I could only find one!! And it wasn’t really that cute, but it did give me something to go out in and “hey I’m here to shop as a female, so I’ll get more, right?”.
The big day arrived and I woke up early (actually I had just rolled around in bed from about 3AM onward with excitement) and got my makeup on. I had this terrible fear of not being able to get my makeup on right with it being the “big day”. I don’t know if all CD’s are this way but sometimes I can get my makeup “right” and sometimes, I just have to “wipe off”…LOL…. Well, it was sort of a struggle but I got halfway presentable just in time. My friend arrived to pick me up and our first order of business was a meeting at the wig shop that she had arranged for me. We drove about 5 minutes over to the shop and the big moment had finally arrived!!! I had to get out of the vehicle and walk across the parking lot, walk in, and interact with people dressed as a woman! WOW….At this point, luckily, instead of fear taking over, my natural personality of “just do it” took over. So out the door and over to the shop we went! When we walked in we were greeted by the sweetest lady that was about my age (I guess, LOL) and the conversation seemed to be pretty easy but my heart was still pounding!! I had to pick out a few wigs to try on so that we could begin the honing process. I could only pick two out…..suddenly I was “choosy”….WTH!?!? Luckily with those she was able to start making suggestions on length, color, styles, ect….always asking me my thoughts and having my desires first but with a guiding hand of what looked best. After about 30 minutes between the three of us we had made a decision!!! I felt like a million dollars and suddenly my heart wasn’t pounding anymore. I felt calm! And most importantly, I felt pretty!! I am blessed beyond words that the shop owner was so very helpful as was my friend in making suggestions and comments. If possible I would suggest having a good honest friend with you to help with the process. It makes it worlds easier.
A note for anyone considering a “good” wig from a shop, there is going to be no one “perfect” wig. You are going to like the back on one wig and the bangs on another and the color on another, ect…the trick is tying it together in the best compromise that you can. The wig I finally decided on cost $350 and was a lace front. I put up a thread yesterday in the beauty section and welcome comments on it. It was an investment that I don’t regret. I believe it is the best money I have spent as a CD.
So with my new wig on my girlfriend and I head back to the vehicle and we are ready to shop!! We spot a Marshal’s in a strip mall just down the road and pull into the parking lot. Into the store we go! Tara’s big moment! Immediately the greeter who was a female says, “good morning, ladies”….OMG…the thrill!!! My first time in a clothes store as a woman! We shopped around. My friend tried on an outfit. I needed some female sunglasses! It was so fun trying on sunglasses. Preening like a woman to find the “right” pair of sunglasses. Finally I found a pair I liked. I also needed a makeup case to keep some makeup items in my purse. Found one of those as well. No employee or other customer ever acting in any way towards me as if I was anything other than 100% woman. It felt incredible. But now we had a hurdle to jump in that my voice is pretty male. Obviously this was a little different than the wig shop. I have been practicing on my voice a little the last few months with my phone making videos, etc…but it just seemed so fake, I decided to pretty much just use my normal voice. The register lady never batted an eye…..friendly as could be!
Our next stop was a Target store to look for tops. Wow, are the Targets in the metro areas bigger than the Targets in “Podunk, Texas”!!! We browsed around and I picked out a few tops. Time for another biggie: trying on clothes! We strolled over the dressing rooms and walked right in. Mission Accomplished! I tried on my tops taking a few selfies to send to my friend for the thumbs up or down and, of course, for posterity of my first time in the ladies dressing rooms. I picked up a couple of other items and we self checked at Target.
At this point it was about lunch time and we decided to eat at a BJ’s Restaurant and Brewhouse in an outdoor mall area. Walked in an had a brief wait to be seated. After getting seated, we ordered a couple of beers and I had an Asian salad. The waiter was friendly but kept referring to us as “guys”. We couldn’t decide if that was just his pronoun of choice, as some people always use the phrase “guys” or if we were “outed”. We decided we did NOT care. He was friendly, the food was good and we were having fun. I had two beers and of course “nature called”. Another big hurdle: the women’s room!! My friend went first, and then I was going to go, but two young moms took two 3-4 year old kids in with them. I decided to wait until they left. When they left, I just strolled in got a stall and had no problems. Another lady walked in and I finished, washed my hands, and checked myself in the mirror and out I went. No problems!
After lunch, my friend had suggested earlier that I get my foundation matched at Mac cosmetics. She asked if I was “up to it” and feeling pretty comfortable at this point, I said “sure”. Now I won’t beat around the bush here, and I have even said this in several posts here, going to a makeup store was “on my bucket list”. I pined to do this! We walked in and my friend took the lead and asked if they could “match” her friend. They said “sure”. This almost became a surreal experience at this point. Getting in the chair and sitting there in front of “god and the world” since this particular Dillards is more open air and the Mac area is almost a “display window” at the front of the store was incredible. The girl that did me was over the top nice and the three “artists” that were working were super. They all three were helping and oohing and aahing and helping each other and kept telling me I had beautiful eyes and was so pretty. If a 46 year old man could feel like a princess, I think I did at that point. After they matched me (22), I asked if they could do a makeover. The manager said they had a 3 o’clock appointment but that they could ‘freshen’ my makeup. They decided that I needed to “pop my eyes”. That the best way to do this was orange eyeshadow! OMG, I was thinking. But these girls are pros and after seeing it, I was in awe. My eyes jumped out at you. They worked on me for almost an hour with tons of customers coming in and everyone chatting away. None of the other customers said a word or even made any sort of untoward expression. Several smiled. Basically I think I got a full makeover. They redid my whole face. Foundation, eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, lips, everything. The best part was how they all helped and kept telling me how great I looked. At this point my “fem meter” was on 11 for sure. My friend had got some advice on lipstick from one of the sweet young girls and I could tell they were having a ball too. Since it took so long on me she went upstairs and had done some shopping. I finally caught up.
After this my friend needed to head home and check her pets so she took me back to the hotel and we were going to reconvene for dinner, in a couple of hours. And at this point I could tell, old man 5 o’clock shadow was visiting. When I got back to the room, I was pretty glum about removing my makup to shave. I made the best of it. Got a quick 20 minute rest in the easy chair and then removed my makeup and shaved. I tried my best to recreate the work of the pros. Obviously I couldn’t match their work but I did my best to get ready for our dinner date. (The picture of my wig in the other thread was taken at this point)
My girlfriend had made reservations for us at a nice Italian restaurant, and we arrived and were seated without a glitch. My friend and I were chatting away and noticed that we hadn’t gotten a server yet and it had been probably close to 10 minutes in our booth. The restaurant was a real open restaurant and we could hardly have been placed more in the center of the place. Our waitress arrived and to be honest she seemed a little nervous but was very friendly. I ordered a “Peach Bellini”. I was going for fem! The waitress had “warmed up” and told us that she had just turned 21 and the Peach Bellini was wonderful! And she was right it was!! My friend tried and said it was like “drinking a peach”. I had fish and roasted veggies and my friend had a sausage and pasta. At this point a middle age male brought the food out and while not rude was not friendly and just sat the food in front of us. And actually got our meals reversed. The food was really good! We had a divine time. Chatting away like two girlfriends. Several times, I glanced around at this almost full restaurant and all the people around just going about life. No one gave us a second look. I don’t think we could have blended in more.
After dinner we strolled over to a neat little bar and had a couple of cocktails and some more “girlfriend talk”. It started getting late so we decided to call it a day and headed back to the hotel. I had just had the kind of day that I had dreamed about. In fact it was almost better than I had dreamed about. I had pretty much lived a full day as a woman, almost 17 straight hours (with a shaving break, lol). The interaction with my new girlfriend was priceless. The way were treated all day long by sales associates, waiters/waitresses/sales associates was overwhelmingly positive. I think the “bring home message” of the day was if you are friendly and smile and act comfortable in your skin people around you WANT to be nice and accept you.
I am going to take a break here since this is so long. If anyone is interested, I can write-up day two sometime. Thanks for reading along!
~Tara