first support group

[Cindy J Angel]

Well Feb 10 was suppose to be my first but bad weather (snow) little car Mountain . could not make it. So today is now my first support group and I have been be side my self aver since. I am so excited. And now we have a big bad rain storm dam can't get a break.. I will have to come down the mountain late East cost time in the rain but I'm Still GOING I just have to have to have to. Love cindy

[Suzanne F]

Enjoy it!

[Angela Campbell]

Support groups can be very good for the soul. Good luck!

[Bria]

Please tell us how it goes!!

Hugs, Bria

[PretzelGirl]

Let's hear about it! Enquiring minds want to know. :D

[Teresa]

Cindy,
Support groups are worth it , I've really enjoyed dressing up and meeting others under the TG umbrella despite the bad weather .

[Cindy J Angel]

OK took me some time to get back. Had to take care of a speeding ticket. Then life as a TS showed it self at home. Today well yesterday and carried over.. So I was late getting there. Most of the girls have been going since it started. Was kind of lost on what to do or talk about. I bring up the bath room vote we had in. Charlotte (witch passed) but was shut down faster then I could finish talking we don't have to worry about that. So I moved on. Some one bring up a private problem I was like wo horin partner and partners kid?? So long drive not to really get any out of it.. Yet, but yesterday I had my therapist meeting and he's found me a TG therapist and some support groups closer so cool..

[Emjay]

Support groups are like that sometimes. I've been to a few different groups in my area. There are times I leave feeling great and like it was such a positive experience and other times I'll be driving home thinking "Wow, all I did was sit there and daydream." So much can vary just by who is there for a given meeting, topics discussed, etc.... I still love going though and continue to do so. I'm glad you found some other ones that are closer to you to try out.

[Cindy J Angel]

Thanks love u girls

[flatlander_48]

C J A:

At its best support groups are benign, non-judgemental where you can talk about how you're feeling, what's happening for you, what's going well and where you are having difficulty. And, while everyones's situations and issues won't be exactly the same, there should be some common threads. But, where ever you are, there will likely be others who have moved beyond, some will be at the same place and others won't be quite there yet. Anyway, this brings up one important point: the issues discussed, the topics presented, etc. must be relevant to you and what you're experiencing. Also, beware if anyone says "Do it this way...". While there should always be similarities, there are too many variables involved. To scratch the surface, age, family situation, work situation, goals (dressing, transitioning, etc.), support of family and friends, social environment, religious beliefs and so on. The variations must be almost infinite.

The leadership of a support group is also very important. You can't let one person, or a small group, dominate the discussion. You have to read the group, keep people's interest and try to reign in discussions that can quickly become divisive. It's a balance and some folks are better than others.

It may take a few visits to understand how any given group functions. It may also be helpful to think about how the evening went when on the drive home. Things will be very fresh in your mind and it's a good time to think about if the discussion was relevant to your situation, how the discussion went, what was learned, who you might have make a connection with, etc. Obviously, there are many things to think about that have a bearing on whether or not it is a good situation for you.

While the above deals with the mechanics of a support group, something else is also very important. Participation. People will be more willing to embrace you as part of the group if you can talk honestly about what you need, where you want to go and what you think your struggles will be. Now, I didn't say that was easy, but it is very powerful. And yes, sometimes a tear or two may fall. All that means is that something you said or heard really touched a nerve. There is no shame in that.

Good Luck,

DeeAnn

[MsVal]

I don't know what i would do without my support groups, on-line and in-person. They provide much needed emotional support, help with understanding myself, and friendships. My favorite in-person group happens to be one that I originally dismissed as being not relevant. (So much for first impressions.)

Why not give them another try. Maybe it would help to have a personal chat with the leader, to say what you've told us here?

Best wishes
MsVal

[Cindy J Angel]

I plan to keep going but at the same time I am looking for one closer to home. I really need some friends closer the more I come out the harder it seem to come out.

[flatlander_48]

Yes, that is true. You are waging a battle with your subconscious. You subconscious would prefer that things go as easily as possible with as little stress as possible. But, consciously you know that you have some difficult things to sort out. Things that are likely to have a profound effect on your life going forward. All this places you on unfamiliar ground; ground that your subconscious would like to avoid. That's why the closer you get, the harder it is. Your subconscious is working to maintain the status quo.

DeeAnn