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Bobbi46
02-26-2016, 03:00 PM
After 19 out of 23 years of law enforcement and then crime scene photography I saw as you can imagine quite a lot some of it now remains as flashbacks and nightmares ( I had to retire on medical as a result), also this included the destruction of now my second marriage. And since then I have found me involving in a truly pleasurable way of life. Dressing as such has now become an almost daily thing to do (some days it is not possible) and whilst having this ability to dress as and when I like, has not so much become an obsession but also became a normal thing to do, and whereas this is what I like to do and like lots of you it is no where within the realms of a psychological progression brought on by work experiences. It is something that has been evolving over these last three years and slowly growing into a more deeper understanding of what is around me in the here and now.
Dressing as often as I am has created many emotions within me and each and every one has its own merits. My marriage breakdown is now becoming a thing of the past and something which I can begin to put behind me.
But where dressing comes into the equation this is something which has given me the ability to see things from the other side and a side which has created in me a much softer outlook on look life, made so by the feminine feelings that I have developed. It has created a more gentle approach to life in general, a sort of feeling to deal with matters in a far more calm and measured way.
Having physical friends close by is al very nice but here where expats are few and far apart the subject of dressing is not the subject that could be brought up without losing some of them.
But here within the forum is where the comfort, friendship and intimacy can be found where expressions can be made either within postings or within messages to friends. It is within this forum that I have found myself in the position I am in, in that I have found the comfort understanding warmth and kindness which has enabled me to seek out the life that I have chosen to lead.
One of calmness and peace almost like drifting off to sleep in a feather bed. A feeling of yes this is the here and now, a feeling of softness, caring, nurturing and a deep love of all sorts of things in this beautiful existence, and yes it is beautiful some aspects of it difficult to put into words, beautiful in the way of life that is created by dressing, beautiful in the different way I can now see the other side of life, beautiful in the knowledge that when there is a need there is somebody her who can help, advise, sympathise, commiserate or offer support.
Dressing, and all that goes with it plus the support I have had has brought me bank from the brink on a couple of occasions now but since and evolving how I have I know now that this new life which I now lead is a way which will I hope take me to a life a peacefulness and happiness.
Yes for sure dressing a soft way of way of life and which gives me most pleasure and I hope it does with you.

Alice Torn
02-26-2016, 03:21 PM
Bobbi, Thank you for sharing this. You have seen a lot of hard, painful things in your police life, that most could not understand much. Very few accept this part of us, and you are right, if we told, we would have lost friends. I have very few friends, go days without talking with anyone. Yes, this site seems about the only safe place to share about out secret of dressing and transforming into lovely ladies part of the time. As far as the meaning of life, that is a huge subject. I hope there is a lot healing and finally love and restitution, after all the agony and misery in this present age, of misunderstanding and cruelty.

Rachael Leigh
02-26-2016, 03:55 PM
Bobbie thanks for sharing and I too agree with you about this place, a place where we freely share things that would be difficult otherwise, so thanks

Rachelakld
02-26-2016, 04:26 PM
If you do Cross Dressing friendly B&B (or even monthly house exchange), I'm gona start saving my pennies.

Not surprised by your flashbacks/nighmares, it's a hard price to pay but without you, life would be worse for the rest of us.
So I'll wish you peace (recommend you write your life story, maybe a TV series like Joe Kenda?) and hope to here about your new adventures.

S. Lisa Smith
02-26-2016, 07:13 PM
We are here for you and for each other. We are all in this together!!

Adriana Moretti
02-27-2016, 04:14 AM
I love your post....all of it makes perfect sense....and I am glad to hear you found a calm & peace in you xoxo

Bobbi46
02-27-2016, 01:10 PM
all of your love and encouragement are a great help in my quest for peace and calm, it is early days as yet, I have yet to finalise my divorce but the ratting about that has passed and now it is a paper exercise soon to be over. The full peace and calm I now know will come soon. It is being able to express my thoughts and to receive such warmth and support which ultimately heal the horrors and strife of my life. Being as I am now I know will also help to put the past behind me.
But a part of me still thinks that I will need help through this forum in my quest for total peace.

Martina
02-28-2016, 03:22 AM
Bobbi,
I am touched to read your post in so many ways what you have come up against and had to overcome.
I do so hope that you can now move forward in your life and I am sure that all of us here in someway can help to support you.
We may only be able to type a few words but I am sure that just reading them will mean so much to you with our support when needed.

Martina

Bobbi46
02-28-2016, 02:08 PM
Martina, thank you so much support like you are offering will I am sure set me on the right road, I am so thankful that I found all of you kind people to whom I am able to mull over what life has thrown at me, my life as a dresser is a great help, being able to do so every day if I wish, so beautiful!

Stephanie47
02-28-2016, 03:38 PM
Thanks for sharing. You are not alone!

Tonya Rose
02-28-2016, 03:49 PM
Hey Sister, Youre not alone in this struggle With you all the way!!!! Touching story!!!

Ally 2112
02-28-2016, 03:51 PM
For what you have seen and been through im happy to see you can find some kind of peace :)

Bobbi46
02-29-2016, 07:38 AM
Thanks Ally, peace will come I am sure with time as each day goes by it gets better but it will be a long road to tread.

Robin414
02-29-2016, 12:30 PM
Thank you so much for sharing that Bobbi! Your words ring true with so many of your friends here!

Bobbi46
02-29-2016, 05:57 PM
And thank you Robin, I do so hope there are not too many going through what I am going through but being here is giving me much comfort to go forward and has sown the seeds of courage to at least start to put behind me so many of the nightmare thoughts that I have from my job.