If you are not TG why do you cross dress?

[rachelatshop]

I like to read threads on this forum, that ask questions, that open up some discussion. This happened to me yesterday, and I wondered if it would make a decent post? Please let me know what you think.
The first time I ever totally dressed as a woman from the inside out was for a Halloween party. I had insisted that if my friend was going to dress me dress me as a woman that I would not go out unless she made me passable and that I did not look foolish. That experience was a turning point in my love of woman’s cloths and my future cross dressing. I am now 64 years young and have experienced most of the ups and downs that most everyone talks about. I know from experience that I, 100% identify as male even when dressed as a woman, and have no interest in dressing as a woman very often. Today I had the opportunity to dress as a woman, and I just wanted to do it. I would leave the shop and go home for lunch, and then return to the shop. It would only last for 2 hours, I could only pass as a woman, from a distance, and even than I had to wear a female face mask to hide my beard. The rush I get from the risk associated with being out, along with feeling of the breeze under the dress and all that on my stocking covered legs, is what I think drives me to want to cross dress. I don"t know what the feeling really is but it just feels so good! Does anyone else get that feeling?

[Alice Torn]

There are so many varied reasons, and sometimes hard to put a finger on it. Rejection and lonliness as a single man is one reason i do it. But, it is certain dresses, a bra, hose, heels, panties, girdles, wig, the feel of them, and how i look in the mirror. Wishing i could be a lady for a time, and come back to being male later.

[Judy-Somthing]

Shave off the beard and go for it. Makeup is so cool!
I would love to wear a light foundation in male mode.

[GeorgeA]

Does anyone else get that feeling?

Absolutely. As I do not try do disguise as a woman, it's the pleasure of the clothes, and the comfort they provide compels me to do it.

have no interest in dressing as a woman very often.

I do it all the time, except I do not dress as a woman, I use the clothes which I no longer consider "women's clothes". I am a man and therefore they are "men's clothes". As I do not go out, except my balcony & porch, It's irrelevant whether they are "women's" or "men's" clothes. They're mine. And I do not have to cover my facial hair, as you do.
I know I'm considered a pariah here, but it's OK with me, and I love you all nevertheless.

[Georgette_USA]

I love a good discussion. We can limit this to mainly MtF unless any may want to open it up, but of the FtM that I have met and talked with it is similar but in reverse.

TG can refer to many or few depending on ones interpretation. TG has replaced for many the older term TS, and I know many do not want them to be referred as TS. They don't like the Internet TS or CD as mainly ones in sex work. Some prefer to use the term Trans*Woman or Trans*Man. But it can also include others.
It is also a more general and inclusive term: a transgender person may be gay, transsexual, transvestite or CD, genderqueer, genderfluid, or Non-Binary. Noting or relating to a person who does not conform to societal gender norms or roles.

When I was young I thought of myself as CD/TV, because that was the only thing I knew of. As I got older and met many others, realized I wasn't really a CD as such. I never really identified as a male. The DSM has changed what they call this, Gender Dysphoria or Gender Identity Disorder. To many of the TG/TS they cross dressed as a male for most of their early life, mine was for 25 years.

The hard part of all this is the general term of CD/TV, as most do not have GD, and mainly identify as male, and have NO intention to transition to physical female. From most I have read or met there are as many reasons to Cross Dress for them as there are of them. I have seen many talks/discussion on here.

The problem with Terms/Labels is there is not a universal description/interpretation for this. I chat with many in the UK, and their interpretations vary from the US.

[TrishaLake]

I love to dress it makes me just feel better...but when I am stressed it is almost like a drink to most people ...it makes me feel better , sexy and comfortable. Always has...and I suspect always will. Now when I go out to ladies parties etc....I am starting to feel even more comfortable...and more in tuen with me. As a married CD who's wife knows...I think she gets the best that both sides could bring.

[karen inside]

As was in another thread, it seems the general public must have a "label" , whether accurate or not, to categorize everyone. I suppose it makes humans feel superior if another can easily be identified and categorized. With the common usage in todays world the "urban" dictionary is the status quo and sets the benchmark for labels ( there's that word again). So from reasearch I may not be a CD but instead I'm gender fluid since i have not comitted to appearing full time as an adult woman. I prefer to "underdress" nearly everyday, love my toenails red, and really like this "androgynous" clothing thing as the feel and fit of womans jeans is perfect on me (as I have a natural bubble butt) and they stretch in the right places. I have always worn athletic cut or tailored long sleeve dress shirts untucked like alot of women wear, all of this making it easier for me to be myself. I could never pass as a woman facially so I am content to enjoy what I can. CD or gender fluid...whatever I'm called-I'll keep on as I am!

[rachelatshop]

Judy, there have been times that I have wondered about that, but my wife really likes the beard, OH for love!

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Trish, you are so lucky. Are you able to go out with your wife as girl friends?

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Karen, I so understand. I under-dress almost every day, as most days that is all I can do. It feels good and only I know so I do it.

[docrobbysherry]

While I wear a mask, it's not to hide my beard/stache or identity. It's the only way I mite appear to be a young female, Rachel.:battingeyelashes:

However, it effectively does those other 2 things rather well also!:D

[franlee]

I do it because I enjoy it, when I no longer find it fun or satisfying I will stop. Till then I will continue to indulge when ever I feel like it. I am simply a CD with a fetish orientation and have always been. I just learned to make the most of dressing and use it to my advantage.

[trisha kobichenko]

I have liked crossdressing since I was about 6 years old, spent multiple decades trying to understand it, gave up and finally accepted it as who I am and what I like to do, for whatever reason.
Trish

[Georgina]

I do it because I love the clothes and also enjoy the feeling I get when dressed.

[StacyCD]

Like many others, it just feels right to me.

[~Katelyn~]

I dress cuase it just feels good and I like the way I look when I look in the mirror.

[iGenny]

Hi Rach,
My wife loves my beard too, so it stays. Dressing anyway? It's just very comforting.

[Linda E. Woodworth]

I dress because I love the clothes and makeup and impersonating a woman. I try to be as presentable as possible. Lucky for me that was also a request by my wife!

Yes, I'm envious of a beautiful women fashionably dressed.

At the same time I "know" I am a man and have no desire to transition.

Yes, I do consider myself a Transvestite.

[Tina_gm]

TG can refer to many or few depending on ones interpretation. TG has replaced for many the older term TS, and I know many do not want them to be referred as TS. They don't like the Internet TS or CD as mainly ones in sex work. Some prefer to use the term Trans*Woman or Trans*Man. But it can also include others.
It is also a more general and inclusive term: a transgender person may be gay, transsexual, transvestite or CD, genderqueer, genderfluid, or Non-Binary. Noting or relating to a person who does not conform to societal gender norms or roles.

This^^^.... Technically, transgender is still an umbrella term in which CDers are a part of. Very recently, the term "transgender" is shifting at least in the media and for those who are on the outside to be those who identify completely opposite their birth gender. What we know as TS.

There are some here who feel they are not TG because in no way do they ever identify as women, including the times in which they are presenting as one. CDers now seem to be a separate term from TG for those who do not identify as women, just dress on occasion, usually rare.

I wouldn't say there is anything really wrong with this. our language is always in a state of flux. terms and words take on different meanings over time. I personally consider myself to be transgender. It is my internal feelings which associate me to women even though I do not truly identify as one which makes me desire to dress. It is the comfort I get from it, as it aligns me if not truly a woman, but closer, parallel perhaps. Whatever it is, there is something deep enough within me to make me wish to, and dress in female clothing and it brings me a feeling of comfort when I do.

[Abbey11]

I agree with Linda. I, to some extent, envy the variety that women have and the way they can change their look as often or as little as they like. Other times I don't envy the vast amount of choice they have, there's to much to think about!

[BillieAnneJean]

Rachelatshop,
Your OP states that you like being out as in outside.

I only know crossdressing as being OUT enfemme as I have always done so each time from my very first time. And I can say that there is nothing like the sensations of it. From how the heels make me walk to the wig hair rubbing on my neck which has no man type collar. The temperature differences from a well insulated head to the exposed legs. Being fully dressed yet exposed. Breezes where I otherwise am isolated as a man. And the colors, fabrics, tailoring. The selection and assembling of my outfits. The way the forms with their sticky backs add weight and I can feet their mass any time I twist or walk. The handicap of long finger nails. The way the false lashes weigh my eyelids down, they might be tiny and light but I can definately feel them. And the best part is how much different I look.

And then at the end of the day, I return to me. Happy that I am the every day me. Knowing that I can escape if I choose. Not a guy by default but by choice.

[debbienraleigh]

I first 'crossdressed' when I was 5 years old. I have gone through practically every stage from questioning whether or not I truly wanted to completely transition to purging and vowing never to do 'it' again. Now at age 63, I'm still trying to figure out who Debbie is and where she is going. In younger years my crossdressing was mostly about sexual gratification and the sensuality behind the feel of the fabric, the element of doing something that was taboo, and the mental fantasies of being female. Now in my later years, my desire to crossdress seems to be more about expressing who I am as a person. I still have masculine features that are too predominant for me to ever be able to pass, not that passing is a high priority for me. I like to think of myself as more of a femulator than a ccrossdresser, even though femulating necessarily requires crossdressing. In my journey to figure out why I crossdress, I always come back to the truth that I love the female body so much and everything that is feminine I want so much to feel it, identify with it, and experience it.

[ashley_addams76]

It is much a fetish for me. When I am done, I am fine with being my male self, but always look forward to the private moments when I can re-visit with Ashley again.

[CathyWallace]

I have Gender Dysphoria but am afraid of the hormonal changes. I only look right to myself when crossdressed and so I crossdress 24/7. Eventually I'll get over my fears.

[AllieBellema]

Because I like being able to dress up and all the male outfits just seem boring to me. I'd rather wear a nice poofy skirt and feel like a true southern belle when I do dress up.

[PattyT]

A TG and a CD seem to fit into 2 very different categories. I am quite happy to be a male but need to express that feminine aspect in my by CDing. A major element is that I have always hated boys' clothing ehich I find ugly and very uncomfortable. I have always loved girls' clothing. Girls's clothing looks nice and comfortable. I cannot help but feel I am in the wrong clothes when I am in drab. They just do not suit my personality. I feel I am in the right clothes when en femme. This is me.

[TrishaLake]

Trish, you are so lucky. Are you able to go out with your wife as girl friends?


She does not go to parties with me but does allow me to dress in the bedroom sans the wig...all in all I have it better than most

[josrphine]

HI, I guess I am both , as I like dressing as a women, more then a man. I live about 75% of the time as a women now , as my wife loves me more as a women then a man. My wife has said to me she has the best of both worlds, a girl friend to talk too and a man that can due anything she needs around the house. We have been together for 10 yrs an married 2 an we go ever were as sisters an to all the different events as husband an wife. I would say our life is really balanced. I will be 75 in April what man that is a T S or a CD could ask for much more. Jo

[Mayo]

I don't think I'm TS at the moment but I'm still on that journey of discovery. Right now I consider myself non-binary but still mostly male (maybe 80:20). I've been dressing for about a year now (I'm just over 50) and will go through periods where I dress at home constantly for a couple of weeks at a time, then stop for a few weeks before resuming. I don't really get a rush or a sexual thrill from it - I just enjoy the feeling of the clothes because they're comfortable and make me feel a bit more feminine. Sadly, I don't look it. I wish I felt relaxed enough to go out and shop for clothes in public.

[Petra1]

For me, the crossdressing is an off-shoot of wanting to experience life with breasts. Don't ask why, I don't know. I've always been fascinated by breasts. Like now. Working from home, today, with the DDDs strapped on, wearing a mini-dress, black tights, & Kim Kardashian knee-high boots. I lost a lot of my dressing time when the wife stopped working on Saturdays so I take whatever opportunity I can get. That being said, I did go out this morning to get my coffee at the drive-thru wearing the same outfit sans the "girls".

[UNDERDRESSER]

Absolutely. As I do not try do disguise as a woman, it's the pleasure of the clothes, and the comfort they provide compels me to do it.

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And I do not have to cover my facial hair, as you do.
I know I'm considered a pariah here, but it's OK with me, and I love you all nevertheless.I don't think we are considered pariahs, though I do get the feeling, at least in my case, that we are misunderstood.

From your avatar, we dress in similar fashion. My skirt choices are a little plainer, though I was wearing something very similar to your avatar yesterday. The main difference is I wear my skirts full time, even at work. To me, it is important that the look is "believable" Not believable as in passing, but the whole image doesn't look too jarring as a male. My early style was often overlooked, and it was frequently assumed I was wearing shorts. When I started putting on opaque hosiery over the Winter it got more attention, and these days the skirts are quite a bit more obvious. Lately, I have been upping the visibility with patterned hosiery. I mention this because it is part of the reason for doing it. I want the ability to "display" in the same way that women do. I want to be the peacock. I am proud of my body, particularly my legs and see no reason not to show them off. Then there is the sensuality of the feeling of the clothes. The delightful way stockings feel on your legs, even the simple fact of the support they give when on your feet all day. The way that a skirt moves against you, and so many different ways that can feel! Pants just feel more or less constricting. The cooler, fresher environment for your nether regions. :)

Now some of this behaviour is described technically as TG, because I am taking on some of the gender display of a woman, but my issue is that who decides what belongs to which gender? The answer to that is social norms. As I don't think of myself as TG or a crossdresser, I just do my part to change the norms in my little part of the world.

[Tina81]

Undresser,
So the only "women's clothes" you wear is a skirt and pantyhose? If so, what kind of shoes do you wear with this outfit? What kind of skirt and skirt length? What kind of comments have you received? I saw a fella the other day where a knee length denim skirt with a polo shirt and running shoes? No one said a thing nor stared.

[Stephanie47]

I've said numerous times on this forum I have absolutely no idea as to "Why" I wear women's clothing. It's all conjecture. I know "What" wearing women's clothing does for me. Yes, I love the feel of the fabrics and the colors and the styles. I watch "Wheel of Fortune" primarily for the game, but, the allure of Vanna White and her pretty gowns/dresses grabs my attention. It is the same with "The Today Show" and all the pretty dresses. And, I throw in the weather girls on my basic channels (CBS, NBC, ABC), who seem to like to wear form fitting dresses. So, I love to emulate them as much as I can.

There may be some inner self that dictated a long time ago, "If you're going to wear women's clothing, then you have to look like a woman!" So, it's a wig because my hair is not there anymore. And, most women are not flat chested, so it's a bra. It just seems natural to add the wig and boobs to make it complete.

I also wear women's clothing to escape some stresses I experience attired as a male. It is my "self therapy." Buying women's clothing is cheaper than paying a therapist, and, in the end there is a closet full of beautiful dresses and undergarments.

[Crissy Kay]

I dress cuase it just feels good and I like the way I look when I look in the mirror.

Goes for me too!!

[sara.rafaela]

Hi, I read the blog of Susan Miller, and she seemed to capture it for me. Some people like watching football to relax and enjoy. Some like eating chocolate. Given that there are 3 billion men here in this world, it is conceivable that there is an endless tapestry of hobbies, and this just might be one of them. Also, take for example someone who travels to Paris. You might live in San Francisco, New York, or Chicago. Anyone can make an argument that these cities are just as beautiful or exciting; but you still will want to go to Paris. Why? One reason is that it is a different world and exciting. For me, I can visit a different world a few times a month. I really enjoy this. To be honest, I really do not feel feminine, or that this is my true self. I really enjoy being a man. In fact I feel that if I had been born a woman, then this source of adventure would not exist for me. The visit to the different world is the lure.

[cdterri]

I, like you, dress for the look and feel of the clothes.

[Laura28]

I really have no idea why i love to dress, and why that feeling would come and go over the years, but when i do dress it is important to me to look like a woman. only recently in my life (57 years) have i come to embrace this part of me. I may not have dressed all my life and went through the normal things stop start no desire etc...but it is funny it was always in my mind. I can say this if i was born a woman i would have loved it, i would never transistion, as it is just not me and the effects on family friends and life would have been to much. So if i am just a CD or TG who never went further i dont know. I do know dressing feels wonderful, i love every part of it and relaxes me like nothing. ( well the pool bar at our favorite Cabo resort is right up there to)

[rachelatshop]

Stephanie I so identify with what you just said, as well as what many of the rest of you have shared. When I dress as a woman I want to be, as close as possible, my vision of the ideal woman, otherwise I feel that I am mocking what it is to be a woman, the very thing, I love and idealize.

[UNDERDRESSER]

Undresser,
So the only "women's clothes" you wear is a skirt and pantyhose? If so, what kind of shoes do you wear with this outfit? What kind of skirt and skirt length? What kind of comments have you received? I saw a fella the other day where a knee length denim skirt with a polo shirt and running shoes? No one said a thing nor stared.Yes, just skirts and stockings, stay ups or pantyhose/tights. I wear men's shoes, though I have bought, and need to go pick up, some boots. These ones. http://ca.longtallsally.com/p/tall/clarks-reunite-hi-gtx-tall-winter-boot-16K167#16K167BLA
Had a heck of a time finding good looking ones in my size. Have bought some dresses for experimentation, but it's much harder to make those work from my point of view. Sizes are much harder, because my top half is about 2 sizes bigger than the bottom, in dress terms, and they usually have features that are designed to make the most of boobs or cleavage. Skirts are usually around knee length, give or take, though one day in the cold weather, wore a pair of windproof pants for the commute, but mistakenly took a mini to change into. OOps! Not that mini, but about 3 inches shorter than the one I meant to be wearing. Comments, very few, essentially no negative ones at work. Couple of puzzled or confused ones. Lots of positive ones, mostly from ladies, sometimes telling me about their husbands who wear skirts at home. Typically get a comment about once every 2 weeks or so. Really expected more questions and maybe more disapproval. There maybe more negative comments and disapproval that I'm not getting to hear. It's been about 10 months now. Really hope it keeps on like this, would be hard to go back to pants.

[Tanya+]

mmmm, nice question. It's the right kind of 'why'.

I love the process, the fantasy, the yumminess of dressing my dream girl just they way i want her, knowing she is feeling hot and wanted, and being her, dressing for her dream man while she tucks and hides him away. The erotic guilt, the frisson of maybe being caught, the rightness and the 'wrong'ness of it. Surrendering to the addiction of it like a functional alcoholic. The delight of finding the right shoes, the right corset and tight skirt that combine to make moving like a woman natural and inevitable. The feel on the skin, the way my body is growing into it. The virtual reality of it. Being surprised at the depth of my wants and the want for those depths. It also means my wife/lover does not need to be my dream-girl, that is my job.

kisses