Maybe my skin isn't as thick as I thought! 😡

[SexyErica]

Ok, I need to vent a little. I have only been dressing fully and going out for a few years now. I mainly stick to going to a couple of LGBT clubs in a larger nearby city. Up until last night I had never had a bad experience and my confidence was building. I know I'm not fooling anyone when I go out and thought I had reached a point that I didn't care what anyone thinks. That is until last night. I was waiting in line to order a drink at the bar at one of fore mentioned clubs when two women got in line behind me and one turned to the other ands says and I quote "wow there's a giant one of them". Wow that hurt. I tried not to let it bother me but my confidence sure to a hit. Anyway just had to vent a little. Might be a little tougher to walk out the door next time.

Ps I should mention I am 6' 3" in heels and 280lbs. So yeah I know I'm not fooling anyone and don't expect to pass. I've attached some pics of me last night.

Erica,

[Matia]

don't worry about it Erica, people give comments like this usually when they have their own issues they can't cope with, most likely her issues are far bigger than you :) (no offense meant)

[Allisa]

Yes negative comments do hurt but don't let them stop you from being yourself and expressing the way you want to. Going where alcohol is served is just poking the bear, your going to get bit sometimes. Just be yourself and smile please we all deserve happiness.

[Judy-Somthing]

My SO says I always give people the benefit of the doubt, maybe she didn't mean it in a bad way. Did she follow it with a laugh?

I went out to a club one Halloween dressed as a woman. My wife got mad that I spent to much time on my makeup, said I would never look pretty.

Well at the club the owner said to me "boy you sure make an ugly woman" it sure was a confidence killer.

[Tina_gm]

Sadly, even in the LGBT community we still see one of the letters putting themselves above the other letters. We often do not have any better of an understanding of each other, and as humans we still fall back to separation and dominance over those who are different than us. I am sorry for the harsh comment you had to hear. Had you heard it from two guys in a home depot, it probably wouldn't have been as bothersome.

[Abbey11]

Hi Erica, please don't let the words of 1 couple dampen your spirits, as has been said, keep smiling x

[Raychel]

It saddens me to think that there are people in the world like that.
I see fairly often that I have thoughts about, but just a little bit of class
tells me to keep those thoughts in my head.

People like that are just plain rude.........

But maybe a good comeback would have been to
look her right in the eye and say,
"hey, I am not saying anything about your tiny boobs, or your fat ass"

doesn't make you any better for the comeback, but does level the playing field. :heehee:

[xNicolex]

This angers me :Angry3: LGBT a ''community'' I think not. Some of the gay people complain that they are not accepted and just want to be treated like everyone else, Some transgender people complain that they're not accepted and want to be treated equal and some say that crossdressers are just more confused versions of them. Bi people, I'm not sure what they think they're opinion could be either or. We all just want to be accepted. If people within the ''community'' are make insulting remarks like that towards ''fellow community members'' when they are just in line for a drink minding they're own business then how the hell is the public going to accept us if we can't accept each other? I mean am I the only one that sees this is part of the problem of wider acceptance?? sorry to hear you had a bad experience it's not your fault that some people have a higher opinion of themselves don't be afraid to get back out there :)

[Jackie7]

It isn't always easy, but I've found that if you can turn such situations toward the flirtatious you can defuse it and maybe have some fun too.... Like look 'em in the eye, wink or leer real wide, and say, "would you like to know what else is big about me, baby?" Or, "Big hands, big feet, big heart, can I buy you ladies a drink?" Or anything else you can manage to say that is both friendly, flirtatious, and otherwise acceptable in a bar-level man-woman conversation. That's probably the end of it, but you just might find yourself having a drink with them.

And BTW Erica you look fabulous I'd have a drink with you any time and so would my wife.

And Judy, one answer to "Boy you sure do make an ugly woman," is, "Yah, and I'm even uglier as a man, so count yourself lucky tonight."

[Kellitgdet]

So sorry you had to experience the venom of a couple of mean girls. Been there and done that. Even from some of our own. Just shake it off and keep looking and feeling fabulous.
Kelli

[Lauri K]

Oh those mean little B's with a few drinks in them.

Hate you had to experience this, but it goes with the territory even GG's speak crap about each other, but usually in a whisper and not a loud announcement.

I am not sure what I would have done, but if I had the extra change in my purse I may have bought them a BIG drink and made them to feel the pain and then thanked them for the generous comment by telling them I was going for large and tall look tonight, guess I pulled it off OK. Thanks You and B's have a good evening.

[alwayshave]

Erica, I'm six five in three inch heels, so I know I'm not fooling anyone. That's not saying I don't try, but I would just ignore the comments.

[CarlaWestin]

Yeah, I refer to it as TLGB just for spite.

[Rhonda Darling]

Quote: <<I was waiting in line to order a drink at the bar at one of fore mentioned clubs when two women got in line behind me and one turned to the other ands says and I quote "wow there's a giant one of them".>>

I think I would have responded along the lines of, "Well I like it up here, you should try it -- it's like driving an SUV. You're above the traffic and can see everything coming down the road." Do it while smiling at them and give a wink. Most loudmouths like that don't deal well with direct friendly responses.

Rhonda

[Maxi]

I had a guy make a comment to me once. When we crossed paths he said "Really!" My reply was "Really." He then got all apologetic. I told him this is America, your entitled to your opinion. It's ok. It was cute watching him get all flustered trying to get out of the situation as everybody watched.

[rocval2001]

Erica - I think you look fine - Don't worry or pay them any mind - there are always those who hate

[bridget thronton]

Insecure people build themselves up by tearing others down

[Amy Lynn3]

Erica, you do look fine. Wish I looked as well. Think about what they said. In reality they insulted themselves. You are presenting as one of those women and the gall of those two to take it upon themselves to make snarky remarks about one of their own. SMH

Had you had different equipment between your legs you would have gotten befriended and a shoulder to cry on if you needed it. It seems that America has mutated into a society that sees only male or female, black or white, rather that everyone being of the human race. Hugs to you.:hugs:

[Jenniferathome]

If that is the WORST you have experienced, then you are doing fine. A-holes are everywhere.

[Jenny22]

"....of them". Since she said it aloud, it was possibly better then saying, "cross dresser or transvestite." I think Jackie7 had good ideas. I don't go out, so maybe my thoughts are not appropriate. But, if I was in your 'big' girl shoes, I think I might have said something like "(chuckle) I sure am! My name is Erica. What's your's (holding your hand out as if to shake hands)?" Then, make some small talk. You could be making a new friend(s).

[Linda E. Woodworth]

Erica you looked fine.

This isn't the first instance I've heard or experienced with "L's" at a club or other setting. A few tried to stir up trouble with our support group at the church we meet at. The Pastor put them in the place in short order.

I have found that those who scream loudest for tolerance can themselves be the most intolerant of others.

I know it hurts but please don't let it stop you from what you're doing. You have every right to be there or could frequent another club instead. I'm a big fan of voting with my pocketbook.

[Sharon B.]

There is plenty of tall and big women out there. I'm 6'-5" and weigh about 280-lbs and enjoy wearing heels also.

[CathyWallace]

"giant one of them" shows the lack of sophistication of the speaker and does not reflect on you. I'm sorry you were hurt, but please remember that there are a lot of unsophisticated rubes who just fell off the hay wagon.

[JasmeVee]

Seems to represent the thoughts of a lot in that "community" where only their own version of sexuality is correct

[adrienner99]

Neither of those ****s would ever have the courage to take the chances we do.

[Georgette_USA]

Erica and others, sorry for all the rude people out there. But some will never go away.

I have seen a lot of changes and acceptance in my 40 some years since transition. I have been going out a lot in this last year with many CD/TG/TS, yes some not always very passable. But they hold their heads high and enjoy themselves. And this is not just LGBT friendly places.

Amy Lynn, America has not mutated, A lot of this has been going on for a long time. You and I are old enough to have seen too much of this.

[Stacy L]

.



Your comeback should have been - Wow, and you're a little one of those. :D



.

[mechamoose]

Girls (GGs) can be mean. I'm sorry you experienced that.

I have had similar experiences, and it really stinks. Just because I lost the coin toss to be physically XY vs XX? I'm still female. Shame on them... just because I am not a little slip of a thing. I wonder if they would have the same bias towards a 6'1", 200# power woman. No I don't have to wonder, they do. I have experienced it. BIG STRONG GIRL, Doctorate, Physics and Astrophysics, Bioinformatics. She still got those stupid whispers from pretty things, as if apearnce was all that mattered. It was totally dismissive, and it made me mad. She was BEAUTIFUL. (Dammit, I miss you Deanne. I love my wife, but you left an indelible mark on me. You are the definition of a beautiful soul. I will meet you again in the next life, I'm sure of it.)

Roles. Roles are just that, roles. Yay for diversity. Boo for prejudices.

Prejudice: "preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience"

Stupid cats... (Yah, GGs are usually cats, GMs are generally dogs)

[Teresa]

Erica,
I'm sorry you experienced that try not to let it dent your confidence too much !
I just wonder how well dressed the two ladies were that you couldn't pass comment on ?
I do feel for bigger members, being over six feet tall and weighing in at twenty stone, yes we know there are big ladies out there but that's not what we mostly want to portray , being 5' 7" and only weighing 147lbs makes CDing far easier.

[mechamoose]

Ain't nothing wrong with a big woman. Aretha Franklin for example. Queen Latifah, Jill Scott, Adele, Mo'Nique, Sara Ramirez, Gabourey Sebide.

Hot without the need for added pepper.

Not suggesting you were throwing shade on that, and I will admit to being super jealous of you tiny things. I'm just a big old beast.

I only wish I looked THAT good in a dress.

(Teresa) Yikes, I have 100 pounds on you, and I'm FIT. <jealous> Mom is 5' nothing, and her boys all grew up to be huge. My 14 year old son is 6'5". He knocks his head on door frames.

To Erica.. rudeness is a haven for those who don't have any other ammo. You just keep being yourself and ignore all those B****** (Female dogs in heat)

You are you, and you clearly know what that means and implies.

Gendermutt: have you heard this song? Not one of US (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbwQ0Wy3ljQ)

"How can we be in, if there is no outside?"

- MM

[Sandra]

I would have come back with the reply "oh where show me" I bet they wouldn't know what to say back.

When I've been out with Nigella and people have said something, stared or started laughing, I just look straight at them, most of the time they don't expect a response and when they get one they don't know what to do.

[Marcelle]

Hi Erica,

So sorry you had to experience this . . . yup we can have thick skin but it never makes insults easier. While we can expect some tolerance within the LGBT community unfortunately even the community is representative of the human species writ large and with that goes the representative intolerance and resident D-Bags . . .you ran across that representation. Keep your head held high because you have the strength of conviction to be who you need to be.

Cheers

Marcelle

[SexyErica]

Thank You so much Ladies for all the encouragement. I'm by no means going to let this stop me from going out and presenting as I wish. I totally realize that people are going to say things behind my back or chuckle to themselves when they see me but in this case it took me by surprise to actually have someone standing that close say something like that loud enough for quite a few people including myself to hear. Thanks Ladies for letting me vent a little.
Also to Teresa's comment on what they were wearing. Of coarse it was the ever popular drab sweatshirt and jeans.
Erica,