What's your favourite theory on why you crossdress?

[Sarah Louise]

None of us really know why some males become crossdressers. Yet there are many theories as to why this happens.

What's your one favourite theory as to why you are a crossdresser? I appreciate this may be pure speculation.

(One answer per post, please!)

[MissTee]

Global warming.

[rocval2001]

The only one I ever was able to come up with is I am what I am, I guess it part of my DNA.

Hugs
Val

[debbienraleigh]

Strong desire to femulate.

[Crissy Kay]

Another reason for me, is it helps to keep my aggression levels in check. In male mode, I tend to have a bad temper. As Crissy, I notice that I am more laid back, and generally feel good.

[michelleddg]

I was dropped on my head as a small child. Hugs, Michelle

[Rhonda Darling]

Didn't want to be a rebel without a cause. I do it 'cause I can. :battingeyelashes:

[bridget thronton]

Anima theory

[Jenniferathome]

genetics. Nothing can explain it better

[MarciManseau]

Too many years of wearing very tight panties :)

[Beverley Sims]

One of my ex-girlfriends threw away all my trousers and shirts.

She moved out quickly and left her clothes in the wardrobe.

What was I to do?

[JeanTG]

I was an only child and my mother's little girl. And she made that plain to me.

[flatlander_48]

Mother ate Jalapeño peppers during pregnancy?

DeeAnn

[Chelsea B]

Strong desire to femulate.

Okay....that's my new favorite word!

[Barbara Jo]

Basically, I'm much more comfortable in a female roll / dress and enjoy feeling feminine.

[BarbDriscoll]

Mom really wished I'd have been a girl.

[NicoleScott]

Have they found that crossdressing gene yet? Until then, no.
My theory, an event in early childhood from which I experienced pleasure. The event could have been something I saw, touched, heard, etc., such as seeing and hearing high heels, touching a fabric, or watching a lipstick application.

[Alice Torn]

Maybe a grade school teacher or several, in nice dresses, hose and high heels! Maybe that smokin corn silk, and catnip? Maybe born this way, genetic brain oddity? Not sure why. I know i had a wow feeling very young, about girls with long shapely hosed legs!. I had no confidence around those girls, but only with ones i was not attracted to. My first sneak and dress was with hose. So i had a fetish for hose, and long shapely legs, as my mom had. I could have hose on my long shapely legs, so legs are always what i highlite, at age 61. I do agree there is some brain factor.

[NikiMichelle]

I believe I was born this way. I say this because I started CD'ing when I was around 4 or 5. Why would I, at that age, all of a sudden decide to put a pair of my sisters leotards (tights) on and enjoy it?

[JeanTG]

Why would I, at that age, all of a sudden decide to put a pair of my sisters leotards (tights) on and enjoy it?

I also wore tights at that age. They were my own, and my mother made me wear them. She also wished I'd been born a girl.

[DebbieL]

I'm pretty clear myself. I'm transgender, and pretty much a 6 on the Benjamin scale. I tried to play with boys, because I was expected to do so, but it was almost always dangerous. I often ended up bloody. One time I was pushed into oncoming traffic. I was 2 years old. At home, I'd make dresses and skirts out of almost anything. When I made a dress out of a dry cleaning bag, my dad freaked and scolded my mom, not for letting me wear a dress, but for letting me play with the plastic bag. I wanted to be a girl almost before I could talk. When a girl my age moved in next door, we became good friends and made friends with other girls in the neighborhood. When I moved at age 3, I quickly started making friends with other girls my age on the block. Hanging out with the girls included putting on costumes and dresses. It was just what we did.

When one girl's mother saw me in a dress, she freaked, called me an "abomination", called members of the PTA who called other PTA members, who called school board members, the school principal, who told the teacher that if she let me play anywhere near the girls, she would be fired for insubordination. By the time I went to school on Monday, I was forced to play with the boys, who tried to stone me, almost taking out one of my eyes.

A week or so later, I was having trouble sleeping and saw what I thought was a monster. I got up to take a closer look, and realized that it was just my mother's church cloths on top of the hamper. I dressed up in her slip, girdle, stockings, and dress. It felt so right. I started to relax. After about 30 minutes, I was calm and ready to go back to bed. For most of the next 8 years, dressing was one of my few outlets to be a girl. My parents caught me a few times. The first time I begged mom to let me be a girl. She offered to get me some girl clothes that I could wear at home. Unfortunately, her therapist told her that was a terrible idea and that if I didn't "outgrow" this, I would end up in a psychiatric ward where I would be shocked, tortured, and probably lobotomized, to keep me from committing suicide. Even back then, the astronomically high suicide rates were well understood for those who were desperate enough to ask a parent or doctor for a sex change.

Mom discouraged my dressing, but encouraged my more feminine interests. She loved that I liked to cook, sew, do needlepoint and crafts. She taught me how to do laundry, including ironing, to clean bathrooms, and do the other housework. As a result of my doing the housework, which I loved, she was able to get a full-time job and go to work. One day she came home early and saw me vacuuming the floor while wearing pantyhose, heels, a skirt, and a blouse. I was also wearing one of her wigs. She just stood there and watched as I finished the vacuuming. When I turned the vacuum off, I turned and she saw my face, with make-up. She said, "Oh my God, you are beautiful". I was so embarrassed, I ran into my room, locked the doors, and changed out of the clothes, and refused to unlock the doors. Mom had heard me put the clothes in my closet.

A day or two later, she found my stash in the back of the closet. She scolded me for stealing. I responded with "What do you expect me to do, Dad won't buy anything for me, and I don't have my own money". I was 12 years old. Too young to work. Next time my mom went shopping, she invited me to come with her and my sister. She asked me what I liked, and would try things on and show them to me. She bought a few of the outfits I liked. When she wore them to work and to church, she got so many compliments that she continued to take me shopping with her. She had so many cute clothes, that she was giving some to goodwill. She told me I could have anything in the goodwill bag. She also told me I could have any pantyhose or stockings that were knotted. At first the knotted pairs always had runs in them, but soon she used looser knots and the hosiery was still flawless, just worn once.

In high school and college, my parents pretty regularly took me to unisex shops. I would regularly go to the more feminine styles with hip-hugger jeans that had a bigger butt, because I needed the longer inseam (34 inch) that were normally worn with heels by women. I knew how to sew on a machine, and regularly tailored shirts that fit like tents off the rack. I'd taper them to show off my 38, 28, 38 figure. I also made my own clothes, including polyester jump suits, shirts with balloon sleeves, and vests that acted much like corsets made out of upholstery materials. I also grew out my hair. From the back, many people thought I was a girl.

[njcddresser]

Since coming out to myself a little over two years ago that I am a crossdresser, this is a question that I have asked myself a million times. I honestly don't have a clue as to why I am the way that I am.

I've analyzed my childhood and other events from my life looking for one thing that steer d me in this direction. No answers.

I know that I was attract d to feminine things from a very early age tHiugh.

For the past two years, I have fully embrac d that this is who I am. I've accepted it and have never been happier.

I do feel that I am more than just a crossdresser. I've learned that there is a very feminine part of me that I never knew that existed and have allowed this to grow and thrive.

Does that answer your question?

[Christie ann]

Kidnapped by aliens at a young age??

[Allison_CD]

I attract men.

[AllieBellema]

My bedroom was my mom's old bedroom and all her girly toys were still out.

[Kellitgdet]

Ok I'm with Chelsea,
Femulate is my new favorite word.
I discovered my desire to cross dress when I was around 7 years old. On a family camping trip. We were all going to go swimming and I didn't have a swimsuit so I wore our friends, very pretty daughters, bikini bottom. It woke up something inside me. Have been dressing ever since.

[carhill2mn]

The theory that I think is the best is: all fetuses start out as female and over time changes occur to those with XY chromosomes, sometimes these changes to the brain do not
happen in ways that are most common to a male fetus. Thus, the brain is a little different than the majority of males and responds differently to certain stimuli such as wearing women's clothes and other things usually more common to females.

In other words "I was born this way"!

[mechamoose]

Gravity waves. They keep pulling me back to those skirts and pretty shoes

[franlee]

Have they found that crossdressing gene yet? Until then, no.
My theory, an event in early childhood from which I experienced pleasure. The event could have been something I saw, touched, heard, etc., such as seeing and hearing high heels, touching a fabric, or watching a lipstick application.When I learned I could incorporate this with sexual activity I was hooked.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sarah:hugs:, I really don't have a theory, It's just who I an & it's just what I do.

I have been in this program for over 69yrs. now and just loving life. ~~...:daydreaming:...

[Ressie]

I don't have a theory that can be proven - that's the problem. My sister's clothes were easily accessible for one thing. For some reason I wanted to try on some silky panties at a very young age and at puberty I had a compulsion to try on a dress.

If I were brought up in a different environment (no female clothing in my home) maybe I wouldn't have ever tried on those first garments. Like I said, there's no way to prove it so it's only a hypothesis. I've pondered other possibilities - Maybe genetics?

[Tracii G]

It makes me feel more normal in relation to how I feel internally.

[Julogden]

I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way. :)

[newandshy]

My theory is my childhood. I had an older sister and she would dress me up in her old clothes sometimes. Eventually she would wear a more guyish style of clothes that were still womans and she would give those to me as hand me downs. There were also some old pajama night shirts she gave me and I loved them, I loved how long they were and how they would reach all the way to my feet, but it had the Tasmanian devil on it so it wasn't girly! Then one day she asked me to fix her computer while she was at her dads house all day. She said if I do, I can sleep in her bed and wear any of her clothes I wanted, which was strange because at the time, I don't think I was even sneaking them out of her closet. That pretty much sealed it.

My theory has always been, that something happens to you when you are just starting puberty that associates female clothes with feeling good, or pleasure. Not saying it is that for everyone but since mine started out very much as a sexual thing I'm pretty sure that had an impact on me.

[Edie Palmer]

I absolutely believe that some developing brain cell without the maturity to reason got the wrong notion when I was three or four years old, and it was imprinted permanently in my brain.

[Teresa]

Sarah,
I don't have a favorite theory I'm just looking for one that helps me understand it more clearly !
The problem is one comes along and then everyone jumps on it saying how much they got it wrong !
I guess I have to accept I was born like it and will live the rest of my life with it, so I must try and make the most of it and enjoy it !

[aprilgirl]

The theory that I think is the best is: all fetuses start out as female and over time changes occur to those with XY chromosomes, sometimes these changes to the brain do not
happen in ways that are most common to a male fetus. Thus, the brain is a little different than the majority of males and responds differently to certain stimuli such as wearing women's clothes and other things usually more common to females.

In other words "I was born this way"!

I'm going with what Carole shared.

[Tina_gm]

My theory is simply that I was born with enough internal femininity that I desire to dress how I feel.

[sometimes_miss]

None of us really know why some males become crossdressers.
Well, SOME of us do. this is deja vu. Briefly:

Someone started dressing me up in his sister's clothing and molesting me, planting the idea in my head that I was really supposed to be a girl. That would go on sometimes every day for weeks at a time. Lasted until I was almost 14. So yeah, I was crossdressing a lot as a kid. By the time I hit high school, I thought I was gay, transsexual, I was really confused. I had attached dressing and behaving as a girl with the only source of affection I had. Sort of like Pavlov's dogs, I think the urge to dress up is simply connected to expecting affection; but now I do it whether the reward comes, or not. Apparently when something is drilled into you during certain periods of development, maybe you can't change it (best example is language accent; if you learn a new language before puberty, you won't have an accent; that language part of our brains sort of 'finalizes' during that period of sexual development). That would explain a lot of things.

If you want to read the whole sordid tale, click on the link in my signature below, you'll find a comprehensive progression of what went on in the life of a little boy and all the influences steering him into regular crossdressing, and how the conditioning worked. You'll discover how you can take a normal boy and turn him into a crossdresser. As an adult, working with psychiatric patients, I discovered many who had blocked out of memory many things that happened to them. I have no idea why I remember it all in such detail.

My own belief is that due to society's tremendous stigma associated with males embracing ANYTHING feminine, most people can't even begin to think deeply about this; and so, just prefer to chalk it up to genetics or being born this way. And yet, this does not explain why so many don't crossdress through their early years. If there is some latent genetic connection, what is the trigger that inspires the sudden interest in girl clothes? It's almost certain that there is one; you never hear of anyone out drilling for oil, and suddenly racing off to a prom gown shop. There's always proximity to the clothes, and almost always the clothes of someone we know. There is a link. Somewhere. But until we can accept that we 'let it happen', (and many still cannot, because to do so would be to accept that we take responsibility for it, and that is in most cases unacceptable to the psyche of the person involved), that link will never be found.

JMHO. YMMV. It's just food for thought.

[Abbey11]

The theory that I think is the best is: all fetuses start out as female and over time changes occur to those with XY chromosomes, sometimes these changes to the brain do not
happen in ways that are most common to a male fetus. Thus, the brain is a little different than the majority of males and responds differently to certain stimuli such as wearing women's clothes and other things usually more common to females.

In other words "I was born this way"!

I'm with Carole and April.

Carole, I tried to word what you have said for another thread a while back but gave up as couldn't word it correctly, you nailed it !

[Tina B.]

My big sister had prettier clothes than my big brother, so I loved playing in her closet not his.

[Lily Catherine]

I suppose the clothes were within reach when I first began (wearing my mum's clothing at the earliest onset of puberty). Just wearing said outfit already created an association between the clothes and a number of other connotations - beauty, sensuality, femininity, perhaps even prohibition. When I moved on to evening gowns and eventually a ball gown, these feelings heightened. At the time, it was indescribable, and I continued draping myself in those wondrous dresses before I got caught by the traces I left.

I only began presenting as a woman out of my own volition only not-so-recently. I never thought I was cute/pretty/whatever at that point in time, but I was at least in my own skin while looking somewhat like a girl. Guess feeling natural, "meant to be" even, is part of it, even though I currently have no interest in transitioning. Of course I still like to feel pretty and dress the part, though that seems secondary to me even though it's significant.

[NZ_Dawn]

Nature...NOT Nurture

[rachelatshop]

I think that sometimes my X chromosome is bigger than the Y chromosome, otherwise it is all about the way female cloths feel, softer, satiny,and slinky, GOOD.

[LacieMarie]

I believe it's a DNA thing. I believe I have a stronger feminine side than a male side along with the fascination of the female body makes me have the desire to have one

[Yinlingyen]

I very much enjoy the feeling of being feminine. I delicate gestures and mannerism.
The body movements and outlook of a girl is so attractive.
I also enjoy the feeling of delicate feminine fabrics on my skin. The soft touch of silk lace. The flowing light dresses.
Being able to bare a shoulder and leg means everything to me.
The feeling of a pair of strappy sandals on my feet is wonderful, especially if I have had a nice pedicure and painted.
The whole process of dressing up is also very erotic to me.
I love putting on make up and attaching false eyelashes and nail extensions.
When I walk out I feel vulnerable and that is part of the excitement. I guess I am really a submissive at heart too.
I like to be dominated and being dressed in flimsy dainty dresses and high heel sandals adds to this submissiveness.

[gabriella1964]

I would have to say that I do it because i can , it isnt something i have to do but just want to, and when I do girls love it and I get lots of attention...:love: Guess that sums it up for me , Hugs Gabriella

[Judy-Somthing]

Who relays knows but I remember as I was growing up my parents would have a big couples get together about one a month and back in the 60"s it involved allot of drinking
I remember the women in they're 40's always wearing dresses, smelling delicious, and in full makeup made me crazy! and they would hug me and say I was so cute.
You've got to admit women are so pleasurable. OMG I think I wanted to emulate them to have that feeling they gave me.

[Alice_2014_B]

Exploration, plain and simple.
:)

[ShelbyDawn]

I don't believe gender is a binary. I believe we all fit somewhere on a standard deviation curve with varying degrees of 'masculine' and 'feminine' gender bias - all of them totally and completely normal in their now light.
For some there is a strong correlation between gender and birth sex; for others, not so much.
I do not have a strong match between my birth sex and my gender, so in order to express my particular blend of 'masculine' and 'feminine', I wear clothes that do not match my physical sex, e.g., I crossdress.
My earliest memories of wearing female clothes go back to the age of about five; far too early for sexuality to come into play. This leads me to believe that I was born with my particular predisposition to crossdress as I described above.

I also think it interesting that, during a recent therapy session, I experienced a past life regression. While I am not 100% sure I believe I actually experienced a past life(hey, why not), What I experienced was me as a little girl about five or six in a very loving home environment. The feeling of complete and utter joy was overwhelming. Perhaps that really was me in a previous life and I crossdress in my current life to regain some of that joy.

Whatever the reason, I do not believe that nurture or environment had anything to do with my crossdressing, I was born this way.

[Dana44]

As an androgynous person, it seemed right when that fem feeling came around. I was born that way and i am what i am.

[PattyT]

I tried to make a posting on this but I'm not sure it got through, so I'll try again.

Being a CD is something we are born with. Some people compare it to being born with a hair color but hair color does not affect personality and can be easily changed.
Being born CD seems to be related to the way the brain is made up. Perhaps a close analogy would be being born left handed or right handed, which is also brain related. Society also seemed at one time to discriminate here too. WhenI was in grade school at least of my teachers told my mother to change me from being left handed to being right handed. It would, for one thing, allegedly have improved my poor penmenship. My mother refused. It seems that now psychologists are dead set against changing which hand one uses. We are born this way, and it is somehow linked to how our brain is formed and works.
I think being a CD is a similar kind of phenomenon, related to the makeup of the brain. Trying to change from being a CD would also seem to invite serious psychological problems, just as changing one's hand orientation would.
I am left handed by nature, and I believe I am also a CD by nature too.

[Lacey New]

I think it was a Pavlovian response. It was exciting to touch, feel, smell and wear women's underwear when I was a young teen knowing that I wanted to explore what was really in there. As part of the excitement came the reward of orgasm and therefore I learned that if I rang the bell, I would get a treat. The bell ringing became quite pleasant as it lead up to the reward. Now the reward does not come as rapidly and the process of ringing the bell - or dressing up - has in some ways become its own reward.

[CarlaWestin]

Sometime during puberty I figured out that, instead of putting up with all of the social channels and dealing with the temperamental objects of desire (girls), I could secretly emulate the fantasy woman I wanted to be with. And she was exactly the way I wanted her to be. It became a wonderfully singular activity that was more exciting and scandalous than anything else. I did have the regular socially acceptable relationships but femulation is the ultimate. Now after >50 years, I know that me and she are a wonderful whole person. I would feel so empty if the CD'ing had to go away.

[Jessie29]

When I was younger I thought it was because I was damaged. Then as I grew up I was insistent that it was because when I was younger girls were nicer to me than boys and I wanted to be like them. Then when I hit about 18/19 I thought I was just a crossdresser. But now Im in my twenties I have realised I am trans and not just someone who likes to dress up.

[Mayo]

While my best friends were male and I engaged in male play, I also had good friendships with girls and enjoyed their company as well. During adolescence my attraction to girls increased and I formed stronger friendships with them while at the same time I was experimenting with other guys. I admired and wanted to be with girls but wasn't having much luck, and was also interested in boys, and this led me to think that I might have had better luck with relationships if I'd been a girl. This seed germinated in my mind for several decades until the time I realized that I could play a female character in a MMORPG, and from that point on I've been expressing aspects of myself in this manner. As I've grown away from MMORPGs, I've become more interested in LGB & T issues and in sexual orientation and gender expression in general (I confess that trans porn may also have had something to do with blurring gender lines for me). As a result of these factors, I've moved away from a purely binary understanding of gender (my own included) and acknowledge that, while I am predominantly male-identified, I still have a female element to my psyche that occasionally needs to express itself, and part of the way in which that happens is that I often feel more comfortable in female clothing.

[Jackie7]

Flying saucers. Cosmic rays. Struck in the gender lobe by a meteorite.

[deebra]

When dressed and setting on the toilet the pee has a shorter distance to travel to hit the water !

[Tina81]

I was born this way. The need for me to dress is way to express my feminine side. The feminine side enjoys the look and feel of women's clothes and lingerie. Why drives some little girls to want to wear pretty dresses?
Not being allowed to crossdress would be like telling an artist he can't draw or a singer he can't sing.
Getting dressed just feels right.
I did read something about the "hormone wash theory" which I'm inclined to support.
Hardest part has been trying to accept this trait. Being here amongst you has helped since no one else knows about my crossing dressing besides my wife and you all.

[T. Fonda]

My theory is that I was born this way. I wanted to express myself by wearing a dress and pantyhose pre kindergarten. That was way before I was aware of men's and women's fashion limitations. My mom let me wear hose and a dress around the house when I was 4. It's funny because I don't remember asking her. One evening there was a pair of black hose on my bed. How did she know? Not a clue. But I just started wearing them like it was any normal thing. That lasted for a few months then they were suddenly gone. I asked my mom for another pair and she scolded me and said 'pantyhose are for girls'. I was devastated.

I look at it as a way to express myself just like an artist or athlete uses their gift to express themselves.

[MissVirginia-Mae]

I should have been born a girl.....and hopefully someday will become one 100%....
For now, I will be dressing 24/7 :love:

[CandyGirl]

I like what's cute and beautiful wether it's clothes, makes up or anything !
Boys clothes are dull and unatractive to me.
So i crossdress

[Confucius]

I believe it is mostly biological and a bit of psychological thrown in.

My theory is that our brains are hardwired to interpret crossdressing as actual contact with a woman. When we crossdress our brain releasing a host of feel-good neurotransmitters (dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, etc.) which produce the sensations of well-being, comfort, pleasure, sexual gratification, bonding, and self-identity. You can't stop your brain from releasing neurotransmitters, and if you do the same thing over and over, it eventually causes your brain to fatigue and release less dopamine, leading us to escalate our crossdressing, and take greater risks.

How does our brains get hardwired this way. Through a process called synaptogenesis. During the first three years of our lives our brains are producing neural connections at a rate of thousands per second. By the time we are three years old, we have about 5X the amount of neural connections... Then we undergo neural pruning. Through the learning process some neural connections are reinforced while others are lost. This process of synaptogenesis reoccurs again in puberty.

If we make the right connections, and reinforce them, then our brains are hardwired for crossdressing. When we crossdress we receive a rush of feel-good sensations, while the rest of the world feels nothing.

[Mayo]

All memory formation is mediated by short- (electrical & biochemical) and long-term (gene expression, physiological change) synaptic modifications, including some degree of synaptogenesis. The synaptic pruning hypothesis that you mention may be involved in some critical developmental periods (e.g. visual development, language learning) as well as important brain modifications during adolescence/puberty, but while it may in part explain how our adult psychological makeup is eventually solidified (to whatever extent it actually is), it doesn't explain why cross-dressing (or non-standard sexual orientation or gender identity) is found in some individuals but not others. This is where we get into the nature vs nurture debate - are our brains wired differently from the start due to genetics or events in utero, or do we just happen by chance to be exposed to atypical stimulus combinations (or at critical moments) that cause us to form different associations from most people?

While it may sound like a cop-out, I believe it's a combination of both in amounts that vary from person to person: our genetic templates and early development may set up predispositions in us to develop in certain ways but those changes may or may not actually take place depending on what happens in our environment. Hope that helps! :)

[Robin414]

I like the 'vanishing twin (sister?)' theory myself, kinda gross bio stuff and usually hard to prove if you were born later than the mid 80's but plausible 😉

[kimmy p]

I like to?

[Dana44]

My old high school yearbook had a picture of me surrounded by several girls while playing my guitar. Must have been struck by a lot of estrogen. That's my story and I'm sticking by it. LOL

[Patrica Gil]

More to it than just crossdressing for me. I enjoy being a girl. The whole package is part of it all to me. Housework, laundry, and just being treated like the girl that is me. Sure I pluck my brows, shave my legs and working on the body hair removal as well. Looking and being a girl is so nice. Silk stocking, heels and pretty dresses work for me, and my love prefers me in a dress anyway. Sometimes it is scarey, but hey if your gonna put on a pair of heels with a prissy dress then you may as well deal with what comes with it. Family knows, but they still love me and have actually stated I am so much happier these days also. If your gonna put on the heels then be a lady.

[Lexi Moralas]

I have many theory's most likely none are accurate. But here is my fav.
I am artistic person , with a codepenancy tword addiction. cross dressing allows me to artistically feed my addictive nature. With out turning to drugs alcohol or gambling.
Theory 2 , I just like to feel pretty damn it

[gina shiney]

I now think that it was my way of dealing with long term molestation. Being used as a girl I just started to want to be the girl and if I was a girl the conflict that I was having as a boy wouldnt hurt soooo much. So I stole some clothing from a washing line and tried it on no more conflict.(till I hit puberty)

[Giselle(Oshawa)]

i was born this way and as i age the compulsion becomes stronger and more intense

[JaniceP]

Sarah, I have no idea why, I just wanted to dress in lovely skirts/tops and stockings attached to the Garters of my pretty pastel pantygirdle. and be pretty like a Girl. I started when I was 5--I remember watching the Susan Show, then going into my mothers lingerie drawer, taking out and trying on a Very Lacy half slip

[pamela7]

because it's the clothing of my gender id

[ashley_addams76]

Always infatuated with how women look and presented themselves. Then I would see sci fi shows where sometimes a man would be disguised as a woman and I thought it so mesmerizing. The clothing and the power women have is truly amazing.

[CherylFlint]

X's and Y's got crossed-up somehow, but that's the breaks.
Just what it is.
Never had so much fun dressing.
Nice photo of you, by the way.

[PaulaQ]

My family, school and everyone else in society made me cross dress. I'm actually a woman, and always have been. I just didn't look like one. So they made me wear this stuff and act certain ways. Once I transitioned, I was able to finally stop crossdressing and pretending to be a man, and wear clothing that makes a lot more sense to me - generally a dress and flats, and just be myself.

As to WHY that all happened? I think I'm intersexed - my brain is largely female, at least the bits of it that differ between genders, but the rest of me, as far as anyone has tested, was male.

[Hazel King]

I have said elsewhere my mum was sure I was going to be a girl, so I think the wires got crossed at birth.

Hazelxxx

[Sister Rachel]

Just feels free and fun and natural and pretty and sensual, expresses the girl in my soul :) Not a theory, more a fact x

[Kiersten]

I've had many theories over the years but I finally come to the conclusion that somethings just "are". It's just in me and I am what I am.

[rebecca_ns]

I am what I am. Some girls like pretty things, some do not. Some boys like pretty things too.

[irene9999]

I figure I was a woman in a prior life, it just feels too good to be wearing a dress and heels sometimes :p

[Tommie.]

As others have said I'm much more comfortable in enfemme. I am happier, content, virtually impossible to anger, do not engage in conflict, loving, communicative, etc. I have always wanted to be female, had milk from breasts ages 7 to 10, was supposed to have been a girl, dressed in anything I could as far back as memory. I am beyond cd and would like to trans but cannot. There are thousands of reasons we do it as you can see above... it answers the need.

[karen inside]

born complete accident, way late in parents life, historically from family trees all ancestors had boy/girl children close together in age. I was born out of my scheduled time in the world (no complaints) so nothing bad ever happens to me. All my closest friends are my siblings age (way older than me). I really believe i would have been born a girl had it happened at the normal time for my parents.

[junetv]

I am a do it yourselfer. I work on my house, work on my car. Build and fix my own computers. Cook and decorate. I have a sense of style and aesthetics. I am curious and voyeuristic. I notice I tend to dress like women I am attracted to. (Kinda sounds like a creepy horror movie when it's put that way)

so I guess it's part do it yourself woman, part fashionista and part emulation. Probably more do it yourself

[Barbara147]

In my case, the reason is psychological. I was rejected by my father and was expected to be a man as soon as I could dress myself. While my father never showed me any love or tenderness, he showered my mother and my sisters with gentleness and affection. When I am in male attire, I have no fantasies about being with a man. When in-fem, I find myself fantasizing about the man who will love me. As I grow older, my need to express my feminine needs has dwindled, but it still comes to fore three or four times a year. Then I dress in heels, hose, garter belt, bra, slip, dress. and wig and let my imagination go where it will. With my build, I always look just like a man in a dress, so I have seldom ventured into public as my feminine self. For a few years when I lived in Houston I was able to dress and go out because of the largely LGBT section there and acceptance was easy to find, but I still never found the man to fulfill my fantasies.

[MarcellaMcNul]

Just lucky I guess

[TracyUK]

Cos' it makes you feel so good

[krissysSecret]

As a young boy, I was a scrawny little guy and my sister was my best friend as a youngster. We often played together with her friends,all girls, and that became the norm for me. We would play dress up together as both parents worked until mom came home. Then, my mother opened a ladies clothing store in a new shopping center and I helped her at the store after school. I couldn't wait to go to the store and help unpack new dresses and other ladies merchandise. I would hang the dresses, skirts, blouses and then run the steamer over them to remove the wrinkles....I was in grade school and then in Jr. High school at the time.....I was doomed to be a girly boy crossdresser which I still embrace to this day. I'm so lucky!

[~Joanne~]

To be honest, I have thought about the "Why" for far too long, I never found a theory that supported the question so I gave up on it a while ago. It is what it is at this point and that will have to be good enough.

[Diversity]

For me it may be that as a young child I never got to finish my exploration of dressing up in girls clothing, as my grandfather got mad at me when my grandmother let me play with her curlers and some clothes one day. My grandfather ridiculed me, exchanged some words with my grandmother, and stormed out of the room. I believe this may be root cause of my desire to crossdress even as if today. The years of suppression only seems to have fanned the flames. Today, I just love to crossdress when I can. It's a wonderful feeling to be dressed. This feeling, however is something I cannot explain. It just is, what it is, and I don't want to let it go.
Di

[Cheryl T]

I feel it's genetic.
I've always felt this way and can't remember a time when I didn't. It started long before puberty and had absolutely nothing to do with sex and having no siblings to "borrow" from my curiosity turned to mom's stuff but not because of any influence by her or anyone else.

[Acastina]

The theory that I think is the best is: all fetuses start out as female and over time changes occur to those with XY chromosomes, sometimes these changes to the brain do not
happen in ways that are most common to a male fetus. Thus, the brain is a little different than the majority of males and responds differently to certain stimuli such as wearing women's clothes and other things usually more common to females.

In other words "I was born this way"!

Not to be overly technical, but that's a hypothesis, and it's the only one that begins to explain how powerful our differences can be as well as the diversity of variations on "normal" gender identity and sexuality. The brain is incredibly complex, and it's logical to believe that regions within it that determine such things as gender identity and sexuality can be "mis-wired" in a variety of ways that produce instincts and behaviors that fall outside the feminine-female and masculine-male models. Basically, that differentiation (or non-differentiation for genetic females) depends on properly timed and dosed infusions of hormones from the mother, and the hypothesis is that infusions that are too early, too late, too little, or too much can cause anomalous development of some of the millions of neural connections in the brain.

We crossdress despite the overwhelming messages of disapproval and contempt from many of our fellow humans. Why? It's tempting to imagine that we all start out pretty much the same and that some childhood event imprints this differentness on our developing sense of self. In come cases the individual (or the parents or siblings) may remember such an event, and it's entirely possible that it did have an impact. But the prevalence of this behavior among a single-digit percentage of genetic males suggests a more-or-less predictable anomaly rate that defies culture or family background as causation.

Why so many variations? Lots of different ways to be mis-wired.

In other words, we were indeed likely born this way...

[TrishaTX]

for me, i truly think a percentage of me is female. Sexually i feel like a female, more submissive and also there are certain things I like that k=most men don't. I tried to hide it for years, but as you get older you become comfortable and so...today these are the things I want and like. It is still a sexual thing for me...

[blipy]

Child of the universe, living in a Hyper-masculine collective/society/organism/network, Balance needs to happen so certain souls get deputized to fill that masculine/feminine energy imbalance in the collective. Just a thought/theory

[ossian]

Theory on why I cross dress? I wish I knew. I can't attribute it to anything. I just did it from an early age.

[Kaylaccrem]

Cuz I look so damn sexy in my panties and lingerie

[joanne51]

Although I did not start dressing until I was about 15, there was an experience when I was 8 that may have subconsciously affected my later life. When I was travelling to Singapore on a ship (my dad was in the forces) they had a kids fancy dress party. I went as a clown, complete with face paint. I cannot recall the experience much, but it may have aroused my curiosity.

[Piora]

I think that when we are born, some of us get an 'extra helping' of stuff in our brains that leans towards femininity. I have noticed things in my life that I gravitate towards, such as women's fashions, my admiration for women as a whole, being fascinated with makeup, and other things. I think I get along so well with my daughter because our brains are similarly wired. She and I talk about a lot of things that really only women enjoy, in general. Another example is my admiration for strong women in real life. And I enjoy movies that have women that are in strong female roles. I found I enjoyed clothing shopping with my daughter, when she would shop for dresses etc. Most men can't be bothered with that, but I love women's clothing stores (even although I would never buy anything if it was just me going there) I am 100% heterosexual, but I love feminine things.

I think that if reincarnation exists, I'd love to come back as a woman. But I'd likely be a lesbian. :heehee:

[Joanne108]

Why do I crossdress? I like to look like a woman, to wear heels, and the way my 'boobs' bounce when I walk.

[PattyT]

I keep thinking about this. I have been attracted to female attire ever since I can remember. However, it's not just a strong attraction to the beauty and comfort of female clothing or the calmness and peace of mind I get from wearing this, but also to my huge aversion to male attire which I have detested also ever since I can remember. I'll be posting a thread on this soon, as especially due to this thread I've been giving this topic a lot of thought.

[Kaze_]

I gave up and admitted it was fetish.

[mechamoose]

STOP APOLOGIZING.

(please)

You are who you are, regardless of your expected role. You are still a good person, yes? Isn't that what really matters?

[Sallee]

I do it because I find it FUN. I am what I yam

[Robin414]

STOP APOLOGIZING.

(please)



I'm sooo sorry 😢

Hah, just poked MM, let's see where that gets me 😂

[Kaze_]

STOP APOLOGIZING.

(please)

You are who you are, regardless of your expected role. You are still a good person, yes? Isn't that what really matters?

Why would I ever apologize for being cute? :3

[Emma 1973]

I feel it maybe a fetish for me too......either way i find it fun

[mechamoose]

Hah, just poked MM, let's see where that gets me ��

Nothing that can be shared in the public forum }:>

I may be cheap, but I'm not easy.

[Andrea2000]

One word......

Freedom

In every way, shape, form, and context.

Freedom

[cdterri]

It's who I am and just plain fun

[Danielle t]

Well said carhill2mn that is so true

[lainey]

My older sister wanted a baby sister when I was born. She was 9 years older than me and took care of me like a mother. I would hang out with her & her girlfriends frequently. In many ways she was much more loving & nurturing than my real mother. When she left home to get married I really missed her and began wearing her one-piece navy & white bathing suit that she left behind. I was 11 and started dressing up secretly pretty regularly until I was 15.

[daphne g]

my sister made me do it as a child

[Stephanie47]

I don't have a theory. I gave up trying to figure it out a long time ago. The "Why" is totally different than "What cross dressing does for me" as in stress relief. Stress relief? Why not illegal drugs?

However, my wife has a theory concerning transgender behavior. She speculates there is something called "past life regression." She is not speculating on situations where it may be totally fantasy. She is talking about incidents where people can name dates, time, people and events that are verifiable. She feels it is possible those past events that someone has already lived may influence his or her behavior.

Since this thread is pure speculation there it is.

And, if my wife believes my desire to wear women's clothing is rooted in some past life as a woman.....well, who am I to disagree with her!

[nikkiwindsor]

My wife and I have had long discussions about this very topic. She thinks it's a combination of genetics and the environment. Regarding environmental influences, she thinks it may be related to the very strict upbringing I had from a mother who was very loving but also certainly a disciplinarian. And yet, I was expressing feminine mannerisms very early in life and began having crossdressing thoughts as early as 10-11 years old.

[rah]

Crossdressing for me started when I was around 15 yrs old. When I changed schools, earlier I used to come home from school at 5:00 pm however when I changed school I was home at 2pm and i had nothing to do my sister was working and everybody used to come home after 5pm. Being shy and lonely kid I just feel in love with it. It became a time pass for me and then an obsession although when I started going collage in later years I stopped crossdressing. Now when I'm bored and got nothing to I'll think about it but I don't do it I've also grown beard now. So the theory of why I do it is when I'm bored as hell and got nothing to do my mind will just think about it

[Rosemary+]

In my case, I feel I was born this way. How else can you explain.My earliest memories are of me wanting to wear what the girls were wearing

[ReineD]

What's your favourite theory on why you crossdress?

I'll answer with another question. Why does anyone develop preferences/aptitudes for anything, whether favorite food, colors, pastimes, sports, etc? Neuroplasticity. It's how we learn, by forming neural connections in response to associations made in our every day lives (for example, wearing pantyhose = pleasure). Each time we engage, we strengthen the neural pathway.

[leannejacobs]

Just because 😜

[Crissy Kay]

Another reason is petticoats!!!

[EllieOPKS]

Because it was and for all intent and purposes, still is taboo. And the clothes just feeling good on your skin compared to guys clothes.

[heatherdress]

There probably is no one reason people crossdress.

Some claim fetish, some for fashion, some feel they are part female, some know they are female in a male body, some for comfort, some to escape, some for role playing, some for sexual reasons, some because it brings them pleasure, some to counter social norms, some because it is kinky, some because there is a link to a childhood event or childhood behavior, some only underdress because it feels good - but most really don't know.

Lots of theories. Probably lots of reasons.

[Tina81]

It's not a choice. I was born this way.

[suit]

I believe it is mostly biological and a bit of psychological thrown in.

My theory is that our brains are hardwired to interpret crossdressing as actual contact with a woman. When we crossdress our brain releasing a host of feel-good neurotransmitters (dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, etc.) which produce the sensations of well-being, comfort, pleasure, sexual gratification, bonding, and self-identity. You can't stop your brain from releasing neurotransmitters, and if you do the same thing over and over, it eventually causes your brain to fatigue and release less dopamine, leading us to escalate our crossdressing, and take greater risks.

How does our brains get hardwired this way. Through a process called synaptogenesis. During the first three years of our lives our brains are producing neural connections at a rate of thousands per second. By the time we are three years old, we have about 5X the amount of neural connections... Then we undergo neural pruning. Through the learning process some neural connections are reinforced while others are lost. This process of synaptogenesis reoccurs again in puberty.

If we make the right connections, and reinforce them, then our brains are hardwired for crossdressing. When we crossdress we receive a rush of feel-good sensations, while the rest of the world feels nothing.

well said. fits pretty well my memories
It did not help that there were no girls or even youngish women around me while i was growing up in the boonies, not well socialize, older parentsbusy dealing with there old parrents that I had no idea that there habits, others would call "drinkers" I think of my self as spoiled rotten in some ways ,crippled in others. ohh well.

[Pat]

Nobody's taken radioactive insect bite yet? OK, I'll back that one. Think about it... Peter Parker gets bitten by a radioactive spider and he starts sneaking around at night dressed head-to-toe in spandex and getting all cagey about his real identity; constantly photographing himself with his camera on self-timer... I think it's a possibility.


Kidnapped by aliens at a young age??

OR... abandoned by aliens at a young age.

[suit]

ooh there is the" it's a CIA Steven King MK Ulta experiment" with" a side" of " helping the women's-wear economy" mixed in with helping population control and male de masculiazation not to mention men in heals can't run as fast ,so there's a way to slow the economy, if all the men wore hi heels, production in the private sector would certinaly take a hit. that might make it a china based conspiracy......but who would pay off the debt ?

[Curiosity666]

I am so much man that I have to crossdress to provide some balance to the force. Kidding ;)


I don't believe gender is a binary. I believe we all fit somewhere on a standard deviation curve with varying degrees of 'masculine' and 'feminine' gender bias - all of them totally and completely normal in their now light.
For some there is a strong correlation between gender and birth sex; for others, not so much.
I do not have a strong match between my birth sex and my gender, so in order to express my particular blend of 'masculine' and 'feminine', I wear clothes that do not match my physical sex, e.g., I crossdress.
My earliest memories of wearing female clothes go back to the age of about five; far too early for sexuality to come into play. This leads me to believe that I was born with my particular predisposition to crossdress as I described above.


Seriously though, I couldn't have said the above any better. As to WHY gender is a spectrum and is not tied into sex, well that's a question that's a bit beyond my pay grade. If psychologists and researchers can't figure it out then I doubt anyone of us has a sufficient answer. Why let this worry you? We haven't got a theory unifying gravity and quantum, but we still use relativistic and Newtonian theories to keep satellites in orbit. Let's just roll with what we DO know, which is that we LIKE crossdressing. That's good enough for me.

[Cara Lacey]

The theory that I think is the best is: all fetuses start out as female and over time changes occur to those with XY chromosomes, sometimes these changes to the brain do not
happen in ways that are most common to a male fetus. Thus, the brain is a little different than the majority of males and responds differently to certain stimuli such as wearing women's clothes and other things usually more common to females.

In other words "I was born this way"!

I agree with this. We all start as female until that Y chromosome attaches. I believe it sometimes it doesn't catch all the way, so some males end up more feminine than others.

With all that has to go on, I'm actually surprised that there are not more cross-dressers.

[dana digs sweaters]

The Results! :)

[Robin414]

I'm an open minded, middle aged, gender fluid narcissist and I honestly look better as a woman...and what better way to experience life than to live half as you're 'birth gender' whatever that is...and the other as the 'opposite' right? 😉

[NewBrendaLee]

To me part of who I am

[Sarah Beth]

When my mothers was pregnant with me she kept rubbing her tummy going "be a girl, be a girl"

[Suzy Parker]

Early in the womb two eggs were fertilized, one male one female, these two eggs collided and became one. There you go. My other theory is that while pregnant mom was hit by lightning which scrambled the wiring in my fragile little brain.

[Katie01]

It started at a young age out of a sense of curiosity, a fertile imagination and fantasy. Many years later it still is about fantasy and escaping to be someone else for awhile. I think dopamine has something to do with it too :).

[JaniceP]

All I know and remember, is when I was 5, I loved to observe the pretty dresses my next door neighbor would wear and her Girlfriend. We would play together A-Lot, games like teacher, Candyland as well as Dolls. It seems now in retrospect, that the girls and their mothers treated me as one of there girlfriends.
I was always the only boy invited to their birthday parties and for other All Girl outings they went on. I even participated in a sleepover or two, slept in the same bed as the other Girls.
Sorry to go on with this answer, but my theory is "I WAS JUST BORN THAT WAY."

My mom was a Drunk, so she didn't care about much.

[ClosetED]

Sarah asked the largest body of crossdressers in the world what I consider a serious question. Confucius and ReineD gave some very good thoughts. I too have given this deep thought and research. I am sure there is a genetic component and research does support this, but no specific gene as of yet. I will stick to CDing compared to TS which might have another layer. But there is no known gene for homosexuality and yet the percent population that is that way has been probably constant for centuries. Why do we like crossdressing? Why do we like hearing children laugh? Birds sing? Sunshine? A favorite color? Etc ... Certainly the environment we live in before we set down permanent memory affects the brain development in ways we cannot remember. But other men also get exposed to similar environmental situations and do not crossdress as a habit/hobby/lifestyle, so I think genetics (or a much stronger stimuli ) are involved. Brains reinforce connections that give us pleasure, even if society disapproves. So each of us may have some part of the CDing experience that gives pleasure. For me, I think it is related to my viewpoint that I did not get enough attention as I desired as a child and saw that females got more with less effort. I did not consider myself good looking and saw good looking girls who had all this attention paid to them just based on looks and not hours of work and toil and social skills. I can imagine my mind desiring to look like that, to feel feminine, would get me the easy way to my attention I craved. So many boys might try on a mother's pantyhose, but only those like us whose brains had rewired to enjoy that kept at it and reinforced it. Adding sexual release with it would also strongly reinforce it. Over time, we may have changed what we need or how we see ourselves, but most started out young.
Either way, this is something we know no way to undo and it is not harmful to or bodies compared to other pleasure seeking behaviors like alcohol or drugs. Yet those have 12 steps programs to help those behaviors but not for CDing. So it is different in some way.
Just some thoughts
Hugs, Ellen

[suit]

Sarah asked the largest body of crossdressers in the world what I consider a serious question. Confucius and ReineD gave some very good thoughts. I too have given this deep thought and research. I am sure there is a genetic component and research does support this, but no specific gene as of yet. I will stick to CDing compared to TS which might have another layer. But there is no known gene for homosexuality and yet the percent population that is that way has been probably constant for centuries. Why do we like crossdressing? Why do we like hearing children laugh? Birds sing? Sunshine? A favorite color? Etc ... Certainly the environment we live in before we set down permanent memory affects the brain development in ways we cannot remember. But other men also get exposed to similar environmental situations and do not crossdress as a habit/hobby/lifestyle, so I think genetics (or a much stronger stimuli ) are involved. Brains reinforce connections that give us pleasure, even if society disapproves. So each of us may have some part of the CDing experience that gives pleasure. For me, I think it is related to my viewpoint that I did not get enough attention as I desired as a child and saw that females got more with less effort. I did not consider myself good looking and saw good looking girls who had all this attention paid to them just based on looks and not hours of work and toil and social skills. I can imagine my mind desiring to look like that, to feel feminine, would get me the easy way to my attention I craved. So many boys might try on a mother's pantyhose, but only those like us whose brains had rewired to enjoy that kept at it and reinforced it. Adding sexual release with it would also strongly reinforce it. Over time, we may have changed what we need or how we see ourselves, but most started out young.
Either way, this is something we know no way to undo and it is not harmful to or bodies compared to other pleasure seeking behaviors like alcohol or drugs. Yet those have 12 steps programs to help those behaviors but not for CDing. So it is different in some way.
Just some thoughts
Hugs, Ellen

go get a comm-fee seat and log on to PBS > ORG search gean expression , cancer natuer nurturture all those key words. in there is one about how they poisoned rats, and the poison would show up expressing bad genetic issues in 90% of each breading cycle so after 100 generations it was gone.
Or they used a band cancer drug in low does and the next generation was fine. they reset how the dna was expressed, through rna ! what you can flavor geans ? yup !
seems the way things are expressed is a set of manipulable geans through the environment. >>>>WWWOOOHHAAA ! WTF ? ooh yea way more plastic than we thought .
oohh and plastics poison by way of mimicking estrogen more questions than answers ? ooh well its the ride not the desdination

[Robin414]

Early in the womb two eggs were fertilized, one male one female, these two eggs collided and became one. There you go. My other theory is that while pregnant mom was hit by lightning which scrambled the wiring in my fragile little brain.

Yep, 'Vanishing Twin Syndrome', it's real, google it!

For me might be the highly experimental radioactive 'Uber Makeup' the Germans were working on during WWII that my mom got her hands on... (those silly WWII German scientists, doing everything to the max, and playing with radioactive stuff with reckless abandon! 😉 )

[rian]

Dear Sarah
My best theory to why we became cross dressers is that it is part of our inner genes and DNA ..YEt it was strengthened due to social , biological , and cultural influences .......I think it is the other way round .....you should ask how we became imprisoned inside the men body ????

[CrossKimmy]

because I don't believe in discrimination

[lisa_vin]

Simply, because I love it! It feels natural........it soothes the soul, warms the heart, completes the puzzle and balances the equation!

[PrivateXDresser]

I've shopped in the men's underwear department and the women's lingerie department. The latter is much more fun and enticing!

[Shely]

It started at a young age out of a sense of curiosity, a fertile imagination and fantasy. Many years later it still is about fantasy and escaping to be someone else for awhile. I think dopamine has something to do with it too :).

Katie01 You are quite right. imagination is the thing that got me going down this road. i have always like to make things and now i am making a woman in my likeness. it is also about the HUGE variety of women's clothes, types, colors, textures, styles, i could go on, and the Feel of them, (which releases the dopamine). Mens clothes have a couple of varieties, but nothing like women's. you can try on different things forever. and i intend to try them all. It's about the CLOTHES.

[Melissa in SE Tn]

Lisa vin said it better than I could ever say. Yes Lisa, it does balance the equation... Great point!!!

[Georgina]

I don't know other than having a strong attraction to the clothes.

[Karine]

Being a rationale person, I always try to figure out the why, even for crossdressing.
I would say that for me it is a mix of genetic and experience in my childhood.
Genetic, because as a little kid my brother used to dressed up as girl (me not at all).
Experience because:
As a kid:
- I used to play boys' games (football, video games (at this time it was more a boys' thing, biking) and girls' games (remember playing Barbie with my female cousin)
- I used to watch boys and girls' Tv cartoons with my sister.
As a teenager, once I saw a woman walking in heels in a movie, it must have triggered something in me and have developed some king of fetish for heels. But I do not really saw it as a kink thing, as ReineD said we engage in a lot of things. For me it is like why a football team became my favorite one. For me it was the emotion I felt during a particular game at a particular moment when I was young. This moment of the game is still in my head tweenty years ago.
My relation with my mom, with strong emotional bond but distant at the same time. We really look up to each other.
I have developed a strong curiosity for everything (it must be also a mix of genetic and experience) and never be afraid of crossing bondaries if i think they is no rationale reason for these bondaries.
Finally, with all that, it is almost logical if I became a crossdresser :).

[stephambers32]

When I dress, I feel relaxed and more confident with myself.

[Ceera]

I really don't know for sure. What I do know is that I had feminine and gay impulses as a child, and I repressed acting on them as much as I could, out of fear that my father would reject me. It utterly would have destroyed our relationship for me to be anything other than straight. Still, I liked playing with neighbor girls more than playing with the boys, and I clearly recall when on vacations, preferring to play with the two girls who were daughters of the beach resort's owners, rather than playing with their brother. And I didn't mind at all that my mom, for purely practical reasons, insisted on teaching me to cook and sew and do laundry (like a girl) - because I wouldn't always have a mom or girlfriend or wife to do those things for me. She didn't dress me up or treat me like a girl. She just believed both boys and girls should learn what they needed to know to be self-sufficient. My sister learned to change tires on a car and do other 'guy stuff', too.

I do have one hypothesis that is interesting to consider, however.

Before I was born, my mom tried twice to have a baby. The first time was a single birth, I think a boy, and miscarried. The second was fraternal twins, a boy and a girl, and again miscarried. She sought medical advice and found one of her legs was shorter than the other, and the doctor suggested that the misalignment of her hips when she walked might have triggered the miscarriages. He had her put a lift in her shoe to even things out, and the next pregnancy, which was me, went fine. So did the birth of my little sister, the next time mom got pregnant.

So... what if the souls of both of those twins who didn't make it somehow got assigned to me? Could it be that I have both a male soul and a female soul, and just didn't split into twins in my own forming?

One body, two souls. Several cultures believe in that sort of 'two-spirit' existence as the reason for people who exhibit the traits of both genders.

For most of my life, I've let my male spirit control my body and life choices. Now I am allowing my feminine spirit to take control, for part of the time, and she loves it!

[Georgette_USA]

And I didn't mind at all that my mom, for purely practical reasons, insisted on teaching me to cook and sew and do laundry (like a girl) - because I wouldn't always have a mom or girlfriend or wife to do those things for me.


My mother believed my brothers and I learn to do all kinds of roles. Wasn't so sure she was teaching us to do things (like a girl) though. Not sure how one does those chores (like a girl) and not just doing them.

[Fiona123]

I accept the fact that I am transgender. For me, once I reached that acceptance, the "why" becomes less important.