There Is Quite A Varied TG Spectrum

[debbienraleigh]

I hope this is the correct area of the forums to share this. I apologize in advance to the moderators if not. I recently had to seek medical treatment from a urologist for a condition that has developed over the past couple of years. I also, just within the past couple of months, found out that I was never circumcised. Since I have never paid any attention to what other guys look like, I figured that I was circumcised when I was an infant. During my office visit, the doctor mentioned that there could be discomfort for a while when experiencing erections. He understood that I am a single, divorced 63 year old. I told him that it wouldn't hurt my feelings a bit if I never had another erection ever and that I would welcome trading in my male parts for female parts if it were feasible, even though I have no desire to transition. What a conflict - to want the lower SRS but not want to fully transition to female which would require all the steps and protocol of the Benjamin Standard (from what I have read). He allowed as to how there is such a wide range of folks like me who are collectively referred to as transgendered. He noted in my chart that the matter of GID would be discussed further after I had established a relationship with a therapist. I love dressing in female clothes and going out in public even if it is w/o makeup and a wig or feminine hairstyle. As many have said in response to other questions and comments here, wearing feminine clothes is simply the way I want to express who I am. I feel that therapy would be a waste of money. I don't need a therapist to tell me what I already know. Any thoughts or comments would be appreciated.

[flatlander_48]

dr:

First, the word is transgender. Remember that we don't say gayed or transsexualed. The words are not verbs.

There is one school of thought, which I subscribe to, that the entire community is transgender in the sense that we all cross socially accepted gender boundaries. Crossdressers are at one end, Transsexuals at the other and there are those in the middle somewhere.

In rough description, Crossdressers are usually male-identified and heterosexual.

Transsexuals have a complete, or nearly complete, mismatch between their gender that they believe themselves to be compared to the gender suggested by their bodies. You could say that it is a conflict between the mind and the physical situation. Transitioning is commonly employed in order to bring alignment between the mind and body.

Those of us somewhere in the middle, as I am, do have some degree of mismatch (aka, Gender Identity Disorder, Gender Dysphoria, etc.) but not enough to warrant transition. For some, taking estrogen is helpful to calm the background noise. For others, like me, it isn't needed. However, those of us in this category have some male identification and some female identification.

Remember that there is a fair amount of fuzz to this. There are no hard, fast numbers that create boundaries or inflection points.

There is another school of thought that separates Crossdressers from Transsexuals and those in the middle. I think primarily the idea is that Crossdressers are male identified and not some amalgam of male and female or mismatched.

Anyway, there are various theories out there as to how the various groups align. You'll have to figure out what makes sense for you. But, note that the popular media has morphed the term Transgender into meaning something that is isn't. The underlying meaning, as they use it, is that everyone who is Transgender will ultimately transition. However, that is not correct. Basically they are saying is that there are Crossdressers and everyone else is going to transition.

Getting to your question at the end, what about therapy? I've never done therapy for dysphoria issues, so I can't speak to that directly. However, what I've noticed here is that people seem to seek professional help when they are having a difficult time dealing with gender-related issues. They may not understand it, or it's causing family problems, or they don't know where things will lead, etc. Somehow they are fighting the traditional paradigm of maleness in our society and just don't know what to do.

DeeAnn

[Rachelakld]

I'm not big on therapists if you already know who you are and what you want.
Often I dress up, yesterday was lazy grocery shopping (no wig, boobs or make up).
While I'm with a great woman, I still appreciate the sex, but after this relationship ends, I probably won't bother with sex again.

[Krisi]

For me, it's hard to believe that you are 63 years old and didn't know you had not been circumcised. It's also hard to believe that your doctor told you that you might have pain when you have an erection because of this. I don't have any statistics, but I'll bet most of the male population in this country (including me) has not been circumcised. I don't feel pain when I have an erection. You say you are divorced so I'm assuming you had erections when you were married. Did you have pain then?

As far as therapy, I think a therapist is just someone you pay to tell you what you want to hear. Unless the thought of changing your male parts for female parts consumes you, I would not waste time and money on a therapist.

[Mayo]

It's also hard to believe that your doctor told you that you might have pain when you have an erection because of this. I don't have any statistics, but I'll bet most of the male population in this country (including me) has not been circumcised.
I believe the doctor's suggestion there might be pain during erection was related to the urological condition the OP mentioned. As for circumcision, until recently it was fairly standard practice in the US for boys to be circumcised - rates peaked at ~80% around 1980 then began to decline (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2596061/Infant-male-circumcision-rates-dropping-United-States-regraded-equivalent-childhood-vaccination-preventative-benefits-against-HIV-HPV.html), though this decline seems to have been largely restricted to the western part of the country (http://healthland.time.com/2013/08/22/explaining-the-drop-in-circumcision-rates/).

[NicoleScott]

Interesting reading the snippets on circumcision (pun intended). ha